


SuperGlue

by perryvic, Zaganthi (Caffiends)



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, First Time, M/M, Non-Consensual, Romance, hurt-comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-21
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 09:20:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 167,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/354891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perryvic/pseuds/perryvic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffiends/pseuds/Zaganthi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes things are shattered so far beyond repair, that even superglue can't keep it all together. Just keep trying until it all sticks together enough to make do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

Another day in the office, another day faced with one more soft story being tossed onto his desk. Lois got the tough ones, the drug rings, things meant to make a reporter's hair stand on end and generally provide the building blocks of their reputation. What did Clark get? The soft curves. Oh, sure, he got to help Lois with her stories, *sometimes*, but most of the ones that he was given (unless he requested something personally) were soft social stories. Christmas time was that feel-good time of year. And the local section of the paper did one story every week about someone who did good deeds -- that was one a week, every week, starting with the week after the election. That meant seven curveballs for Clark to cover, in and amongst the hectic day to day reporting that he helped Lois with, and his 'duties' as Superman. The week before, he'd interviewed an SPCA director who'd insisted he hold on to one of their rescued ferrets. That had only worked until the ferret had decided he didn't like the way that Clark smelled, and had tried to bite him. And chipped his teeth. Clark guessed he'd never had to lie that fast in his life. 'It bit my watch face' sounded pretty lame, but it worked. After all, who had invincible skin? That ferret had had to bite *something*, so the director seemed willing to accept the watch face excuse.

This next story sounded a little more interesting -- his own idea, fenced to Perry and accepted -- looking at the 'behind the scenes' people at the police department. He hadn't picked the exact angle, but it'd make a pretty nice Thanksgiving story about the people who worked through holidays to serve the public good.

People like Chloe.

Contrary to popular belief, he was able to recognize the warning signals from his female friends about being neglected. A few years of constantly blundering into them and tripping the silent alarms usually clued someone in to impending disaster. One of the reasons he had warmed so quickly to Lois -- in among the hating her part of things -- was that there was very little subtext with her. If he screwed up he knew about it. Constantly, with subtle shades of snark.

For someone as evidently inept as he was at reading the locked room mystery that was 'woman', Lois's responses were a lifeline to the clueless

Chloe, on the other hand, expressed her displeasure in other more subtle ways. Sometimes he decided that he needed 'how to' guides to being her friend. There were at least twenty nine different inflections to the way she said, "Hey, Clark" -- from the 'Good to see you' variant right up to the 'I am going to tear you limb from limb, you ignorant hick!'

He'd been getting close to that version on their last call, and if he wanted to make it to Christmas with all bodily organs intact he had to be a bit of a better friend. It wasn't *his* fault that things never seemed to go right. And heck, she'd been the one to stand *him* up on their last meeting, due to a sudden, unexpected double shift. That had set him on the path he was on now -- going to talk to the four-day a week, ten hour days (sometimes more) night-shifting investigators. There had to be a story in there that he could milk beyond the feel good factor, and if anyone could give a story a human emotive cast, it was Clark Kent.

That was what Clark Kent did, according to all the mushy easy stories that Perry handed him.

But at least this time there was no chance, no chance at all, of Lois wanting to get involved. After all, he had to start at ten p.m., when they started to roll in and that meant screwing with his normal schedule after a near full day of work already, and heading in to the Police Department to do the same again overnight.

Clark looked up as he entered the building, making himself look as unobtrusive as possible. Lois tended to go in guns blazing -- which was why she got the hard hitting byline -- and he went in more softly, which was why even Perry admitted he could turn out a human interest story that had impact in its own right. But they still looked at him as fitting the 'Smallville' nickname Lois had dubbed him with and gave him the stories to suit.

Still, there was always the chance in a place like this that he could find a smush story with some meat on it, that was what he had gambled on. Crime Scene Investigation was one of those classic areas of police work that people had heard of, but they were faceless entities who tended not to get the limelight. He'd heard that from Chloe often enough, so if he pulled this off he might be back in her good books.

He tried to attract attention from one of the busy people milling around the corridors, a little disorientated by the bustling activity even at this time of night. "Excuse me? Excuse me, I'm here to meet with the Head of the Department? He's expecting me?"

The busy person he'd stopped was a tech -- by the look of his lab coat -- but Chloe was always telling him that some days she thought she was a tech too, what with all the swabbing and testing things. So it was hard to guess. He was *bald*, though, and young, with brilliantly sharp blue eyes. And there seemed to be a coffee cup glued to his hand.

Literally.

"Winters? He's in the big office at the end -- you can't miss him."

Clark smiled at him. "Thank you, I appreciate it," he said politely. Nice eyes. Better than nice eyes. Clark had a thing for blue eyes; he'd discovered that in college. "Winters, okay."

Oops, he was staring. Not at the baldness, but at the face and the eyes. There was something just a little familiar about his face. Faintly, in the way it seemed when he met someone after years of not having seen them. Maybe later he'd place it because his memory was close to perfect now, certainly of later things in his life. For the moment, the guy gave a vague wave, a tight smile, and moved off down the hallway.

He'd have to ask Chloe about that. Or at least about the coffee cup. Maybe it was a weird CS reenactment thing.

Winters' office was easy to find; the door was closed, but glass so he could see in to see the guy standing there with a folder in hand, talking with… Chloe. Perfect.

He knocked politely at the door listening just a little ahead of himself with his abilities to see what was really being said before they got to platitudes and politeness. Lois had indeed corrupted him. But he was a man with a gift, and Lois called people who didn't use their talents to the fullest a crying shame.

"Just hold him under threat of muzzle to not say anything that you don't approve first. We can't stop a reporter from talking, but we can threaten their group with never being given another heads up for as long as you work here, sir." Chloe was grinning, but her boss was looking out over her shoulder.

"Is he tall, dark hair, thick glasses? If so, your friend has already arrived."

He took that as a cue to enter. "Hi, Clark Kent from the Daily Planet. Mr. Winters?" He smiled at Chloe and proffered his hand so the Head of Department could shake if he wished.

Winters was a wintry looking guy. White beard, older, but he had keen pale blue eyes. Pretty much everyone Clark had passed so far looked freakishly alert. The paper would do twice the business they did if everyone was that alert on even a single floor. He made a mental note to check out what coffee they were using. And if their caffeine levels were close to overdose.

"Mr. Kent, we were just talking about you. We have a busy day ahead of us, so I hope you don't mind if people work around you or take their time in answering any questions you have."

"Of course not, sir." Clark borrowed a tip from his Dad and automatically addressed the man so obviously senior to him as 'sir'. It was a courtesy that had stood him in good stead in the past. "I would actually prefer that it worked that way -- get a better feel for how things really are here."

"Good. Now, you understand that we're working on some sensitive cases. Most of them, we're still looking for the suspects. Even the faintest detail that you slip could give them an escape, understand? So I'd like to read your article before you put it to your editor. If you don't mind." That last part seemed pretty arbitrarily tacked on. Like it wasn't really a choice for Clark. But the man was still smiling faintly as he stepped back, looking at Clark for an answer while Chloe stood silently by.

Best not to ruin a relationship over a smush piece. "Well, it's not usually how The Daily Planet works sir, but I understand the need for caution. I'm willing to let you see the article for the purposes of reviewing if it might harm any cases you're working on. Hopefully any veto won't be necessary." Clark nodded in agreement.

"Hopefully it won't," Winters agreed, voice smooth, full of implications that Clark was keen enough to catch. There was a lot of gentle threat in the man's words, and whether he meant those threats to be there or not was a good question. "Ms. Sullivan will show you around, since she'd already volunteered back when we started to negotiate this idea between the chief of police and your editor." Another implication there -- that these were important people behind the scenes, and he'd best not hurt any of them.

"So, since she just wrapped up a big case in court today, this is her reward. Chloe..." Winters patted her arm, an almost shooing gesture. "Have fun."

"Thank you for your time, sir," he said politely and moved to follow Chloe wherever she was going to take him. From the looks of it, as far away from the 'boss' as physically possible.

Chloe nodded to him, and moved to push the glass door open. She didn't say a word until they were out in the hallway, and then it was a relieved sounding, "Well, I'm glad that you showed up. I was worried that you'd have to plead off, and leave our department with my cousin. I love Lois, but…" But.  
The police and Lois Lane had never gotten along, unless it was like a house on fire -- people panicking, screaming, running for safety.

"... you probably would have been investigating a murder on the premises before the end of the story, I know," Clark replied smiling a little. "I wouldn't plead off -- and miss a chance watching you do your thing for truth and justice?"

"Okay. Clark? It's not just me here. I'm one of many, and I'm a low grade one, too. There are a *lot* of people in this department, and they're all fantastically smart and good at what they do." She grinned at him. "Right now there are two shifts on duty -- we have a two hour overlap at each end of every shift where there's two shifts on. It helps the out-goers finish their work, and the incomings get started. So, let's hit the break room and see who's there."

"Sounds great." And it did, really. It was where people would be the most relaxed and chatty and he could get a feel for the people and the place. He could transcribe any conversation he chose to recall so that wouldn't be a problem. "Anyone you think I should home in on, or am I on my own journalistic instincts here, Chloe?"

"You're on your own, Clark," she grinned again, obviously relishing the fact that her friend was setting foot into her domain. "Because everyone has a story behind them. And maybe some want to share and maybe some don't. so. It's up to you once we get past introductions. On duty with me for this new shift is CSI Klaus, CSI Theresa and CSI Adam. They're all fascinating people, and if you can stop any of them for a second? You'll probably get plenty off of them. Adam's not much of a talker..."

They walked past a glass-windowed lab that had a local radio station's noise coming from within. There was the coffee cup he'd seen earlier glued to the bald guy's hand, but not a guy in sight. "Uh, we've got Kieran, our coroner on duty -- he's fantastic for working out cause of death, intuitive with his work. Chrissie does our prints, Ash tracks down what bits of evidence are made of, Eddie does all the ballistics work, and Lex is our DNA tech. He's been here long enough to be pretty fearless with Winters, and that says something. Uh, let's see. Chrissie is sort of like Lois, Ash can't be described, you've got to meet him, Eddie's Significant Other is a street cop named Nigel, and hey. Our DNA tech is the Luthor Family white sheep."

"Luthor family? As in... LuthorCorp and Lionel, our own personal nemesis?" Clark paused at that one.

"Yeah. Surprise surprise." Chloe's eyebrows went up, and she slowed a little. "Lex is probably the most laid back guy in this place. Bald, too. That's him in there getting coffee." She gestured a little towards the pretty packed looking break room, and then darted forwards to grab the arm of one wiry looking lab tech before he could get out of there. "Hey, hold on, Ash -- you need to meet someone."

"There are easier ways to get my attention. Chloe," the man turned around, favoring his left leg. He looked very young to be in the place and a little bit battered. Clark could discern the evidence of faint scars snaking out from his hairline. He gave Clark an intense, rather disturbing gaze with dark eyes. "Reporter guy?" he queried tilting his head slightly at Chloe.

"Right on the first guess," Chloe grinned as she turned into the break room. "Just sit tight." Then she ducked into the place, and cleared her throat. "We have a reporter on duty with us today, guys -- Winters wants everyone to be helpful and talkative, because this is a PR story. So if each of you can work in a couple of minutes of time for him during the shift..."

One man, a tall thin man with long hair pulled back in a ponytail scowled at Chloe as he moved to leave the break room. "Nothing about cases unless Winters gives word himself. If anyone needs me, I'll be looking over the Pernelli files."

"Don't mind Klaus, he's almost as much a killjoy as Adam here," a young woman who looked to be a similar age to Chloe said, though her rich auburn hair was in direct contrast to her colleague. "You'll be lucky to get a word out of any of them. Theresa Sanders, one of the Investigators -- sorry, gotta go with Klaus tonight. He's senior on this one."

She smiled pleasantly enough at Clark as she moved after the other man, which boded well for comments later on.

"I'll catch up with you later maybe?" Clark suggested to the pair of them.

"Sure." She said it, but Clark wasn't sure if she really meant it as she followed after the gruff, black-haired guy. He seemed like the type who'd seen too many action movies.

"And our Killjoy Adam... is giving me a look of death." Chloe waved. "Hey, I know. I'm either in trouble, or...? Case?"

"Case. Just in," Adam replied giving Clark another one of those assessing gazes. They all seemed to be weighing him up to see how he would stand it in their world and Clark got the impression there would be some surreptitious betting going on in the background, out of sight. "Fresh scene in Suicide slums. Two corpses and cause of death not immediately obvious. Going to be a long night."

"Okay." Chloe sighed, and then smiled at Clark again. "Right. Let me just finish introducing him to the lab people, and maybe, uh, you can talk to them until we get back?"

"In four to five hours," a blond man in a lab coat agreed. "Hi. I'm Eddie, I'm in ballistics. Over there -- Chloe, don't give me that look. Go on, get going. We promise to not eat him alive."

"You promise," Ash muttered a little darkly.

"I'm here to get a story on everything that goes on," Clark said wondering at the odd assembly of characters in this place. Eddie was the one with the Significant Other Nigel. Right. Okay.

He was rather brusquely barged to one side from behind as an older woman with long black hair tied back rather severely and wearing glasses push through the door way in a manner that communicated urgency. "Where's Klaus? Theresa? I've got a match on the Pernelli prints, _finally_ managed to get a clear one off of that last sample. Winters said he was in here?"

"They went that way," the bald guy -- Lex *Luthor*, which Clark wasn't sure he could wrap his mind around -- instructed. "Towards Klaus's office. Good luck." He was pouring sugar in the raw into his coffee cup, and gave Clark a tight smile. After all, Clark was at the tech's mercies, since Adam had dragged Chloe off. "Good luck getting a story on *everything*. You'd need at least two more of you. Eddie, Ash, c'mon -- time to clear out and get to work. You've all got coffee, and if Winters finds us all in here, well."

The older woman nodded curtly and raised her eyebrows at Clark's presence even as he turned and headed off down the corridor as if time was of the essence.

Ash gave a rather sardonic smile. "Lex speaks and we must away to our dungeons. You might as well come down with us... Clark, we all work in the same area and all hell will break loose when the 'Gilbert and Sullivan' team get back in."

"All work, you mean," Lex noted as he moved to leave the break room. "Is there any particular reason why you're doing a story about the investigations team?" Compared to the rest of them, he seemed warm and good natured, which was the last thing Clark expected from a Luthor.

"My editor likes to run something different than most papers. Something positive but with a bit more meat to it," Clark replied easily enough. "And of course I know Chloe and she hints at what goes on here. So when he asked for suggestions, I brought up this. As far as I can tell it's going to open a lot of people's eyes."

"The pay's decent," Eddie offered as he veered a little. "Over here is the ballistics lab. My job title says it all -- I work almost entirely in gun, bullets, explosive impacts and the physics thereof."

"Don't get him started otherwise you'll be looking at his scrapbook of the great impacts and rifling marks of his career," Ash contributed. "Seriously, he keeps a scrapbook of his confirmed convictions based on his ballistics work."

Clark noted that the short wiry lab tech had a sharp way of talking but there didn't seem to be any malice or rancor in his tone, and Lex and Ed seemed to take these sort of comments as normal.

"You say that as if you aren't proud of yourself for ID-ing those plastic shards as a soda bottle-cum-silencer," Lex tossed back lightly. He gestured to another glassy-walled area. The palm of his hand was red, from whatever that adhesive had been from earlier. "Ash's part of the lab is over there, Ed's already catching up on matching bullets to guns, and my lab is over here. There's always something waiting to process. Chrissie's jurisdiction, prints, is right beside ballistics. Guns and fingerprints are a holy union in our line of work. Good luck, Kent."

They all seemed pretty willing to get the hell out of dodge.

"Wait, wait..." Clark hesitated. "Any volunteers to be first? I know you're all busy and I'll try not to get in the way, but I'd rather get the interview part of it out of the way before things get frantic."

Except that he'd been left in the hall pretty much in their dust as they vanished before he finished speaking, and... and just damn. He was going to have to work his reporter's intuition. No one was answering -- there was probably something about causing friction about being a glory-hog already discussed between all of them. Gallantry and journalism didn't mix well.

So. Which one to go for? Ash, well there was a story there, no doubt about it. The man watched the world with sharp eyes and talked about it with whetted edges. Eddie would make for a fascinating study, and the scrapbook? He could see an angle there straight away. Not glory hogging, but a way of finding their own recognition in a world where they were unseen and unsung heroes. That would make a perfect theme for them all. And Lex Luthor -- in terms of story, he was the mother lode.

Maybe it was best to start there. He was likely to get the most busy on any given night, right? After all, most cases *hinged* on DNA, and even the ones that didn't seemed to want it at least as an afterthought. So, start with that.

Lex's lab was pretty comfortable looking, for a lab. That was where the radio station was playing from. He was standing beside his desk, downing a sip of coffee, while a prescription pill bottle sat beside a box of medium-sized latex gloves.

"Mr... uh, Lex," Clark hesitated, feeling a little like he was trespassing in a sanctuary of sorts. The place gave him the same sort of feel as his own loft did back home. It wasn't that other people weren't welcome, just that it was very much _his_ space. "Could you spare me a little time right now?"

Lex turned around with a smile plastered on his face, and palmed the bottle. "Sure. The other tech cut out early, so I'm just waiting for Codis to spit back any possible matches we might have on his swabs. What can I do for you?" In a deft motion, he opened his desk drawer, dropped the bottle in, and then picked up a pair of latex gloves.

"Tell me a little about what you do and who you are," Clark suggested and readied his notebook, mainly for effect. "What makes someone work in this field?"

He exhaled, a puff of breath like people did when they *really* had to think about their answer, and continued pulling his gloves on. "Well, I'm Lex Luthor. In college, I had an overwhelming interest in the sciences, and an urge to help people. This seemed the best field for me. I was one of the top grads from Princeton's Graduate Student department, and then I worked around there in a lab for a while, processing DNA, and eventually worked my way back here."

Clark made some notes, carefully. "You enjoy what you do?"

"Yes. I... really love my job. I've been here for nine years now -- I came here when I was twenty four, and never regretted a minute of it. It can be gruesome sometimes, but... Life is pretty gruesome." He smiled faintly, adjusting his gloves at the base. "Pretending that it isn't doesn't make things better. So I spend my nights and sometimes my days identifying blood, matching it to people, counting alleles, testing semen, hair, toothbrushes, hairbrushes... Hoping that we can both ID a victim and catch whoever hurt them."

He noted the fact about life being gruesome and filed it away. "How does it feel when you do get an ID or something you've done helps bring someone to justice?" Clark had settled near to him, leaning forward with attention. He was still affected by those blue eyes, but he managed to put it out of his mind for the time being.

"It's..." Lex shifted away, towards a fax machine or a printer. Maybe it was both, but Lex moved like he was nervous. "It's a great feeling, to be honest."

Clark grinned at him. "I can imagine. Maybe like getting a story that will really make a difference for a reporter. I mean there has to be a powerful motivation to keep you all going -- it's got to be tough down here sometimes...?"

"Tough... tough is scraping semen off of some little kid's underwear for testing." Lex perched on a side-table, waiting as the printer started to slowly feed a sheet of paper out. "What keeps me going is knowing that I'm helping to put the bad guys away. DNA is king, has been for a while. I can prove a suspect innocent, when his or her blood, or semen, or skin cells don't match what we find on the victim. And it can nail a case tighter than a coffin when we've got a suspect and a positive match on them. Without well-tested DNA, a lot of scum would be out and walking free."

Clark nodded. "Looks like the job goes in for extremes of ups and downs. It must be pretty stressful. Do you do anything to... blow off steam? Relax?"

Lex caught the sheet of paper as it came out of the printer, hovering and waiting for the second one. "I, uh..." He glanced over the results, looking contemplative. "I run a charity and help with a couple of others. Between that and my LEGO collection, I have my hands full."

"Yeah? Which charities?" Jackpot! Clark smiled at the other man warmly. "I love LEGO, but I never really collected it. Got some old stuff back at home."

"I buy sets to take apart and make into things," he grinned a little, faintly lopsided. "Can I get a plug in for them, maybe? With Christmas coming up, people are usually better donators..."

"Absolutely," Clark agreed enthusiastically. "Tell me about the charities, what they're about and why you're involved?"

Now Lex seemed to light up. Maybe Chloe was right -- maybe the Luthor Family had a white sheep. Or else, Lex Luthor was one hell of a good decoy. "I started the Lillian Luthor Children's Foundation nine years ago. A lot of the donations come from people who donate a dollar for a paper balloon at grocery stores and shops around the state. Usually I personally ask places if they'll help, and seldom does a store say no. The money goes towards kids who're kicking around the foster care system, and what we call 'individual cases' usually brought to our attention by social workers or child protective services. Also, we work to try to get runaways off of the streets and into better situations -- youth homes, group centers, job training, the necessities to keep them off of drugs and away from selling their bodies." He looked at the second sheet of paper, and took another sip of his coffee. "I also help fundraise for the Metropolis Woman's Haven. That's a safe place for people running away from their abusive husbands -- whether they have kids with them or not. The Haven offers job training, starter money, and counseling. And... last year Bruce Wayne talked me into going halves on an Orphanage. It's a long story, but he runs it and I once again organize fundraising and oversee the general mission from time to time."

"Bruce Wayne of Gotham?" Clark asked, sensing a way to approach the obvious question. "So, you haven't given up all ties with the business world?"

"Actually, I went to school with him. It goes back to that -- he was orphaned, and I have a soft spot for kids. A guy's allowed to have rich friends, right?" Lex regarded him with a suddenly keen expression, and one cocked eyebrow. "The only ties I have to the business world are my stock investments. Yes, I still have LuthorCorp stock, and a voting share -- everyone asks that one, so I'm saving you the time of asking it. I use the money I get off of it for the charities."

Clark looked at him steadily, meeting that shift in expression with the sort of honesty that people probably didn't expect from reporters. "Asking about that part of things is something I have to do, Lex. I don't mean to offend you in any way." He meant that. He cleared his throat. "If I push too far just say so, okay? Is there a reason that you chose the career you have now over the more obvious opportunities that were available to you?"

"I don't like my family's business, and to be frank, it doesn't come to me naturally." Lex lifted his eyebrows a little, waiting for a third sheet of paper. "I actually had a turning point in my life. My father had sent me to, ah, Smallville, and I had an accident. My car hit some road debris, and I crashed through the guardrail. A local farmer stopped his truck and jumped in after me. The next thing I knew, my car was in the river, and this guy... Jonathan, I didn't even find out his last name." A faint laugh. "Anyway, this guy is standing over me on the river bank. He'd dragged me out, and gave me CPR, and waited until the paramedics came around."

Clark was staring at him a moment, his distracted pressure on his pen cracking the casing. "You're kidding right? Tall guy with sort of sandy blond hair, blue eyes, probably wearing a plaid shirt?"

Lex moved away from the printer, expression curious as he looked at Clark. "Blue-based plaid, had a red truck. He saved my life, took the time to talk to me... The guy made a difference in my life. I went back to college, finished my degree, and... here I am."

"That's my Dad," Clark blurted out with his own surprise. "Jonathan Kent -- I come from Smallville. I remember him telling Mom and I about that when he got back in. That's... talk about the proverbial small world. And talking to him made a difference to you? Motivated you to... what? Not go where your father would send you?"

"Look... I was at a low point in my life. Really low. Rock bottom. All I really needed was for someone, just *one* person, to tell me that I should do what *I* wanted to do. It was as simple as that." Lex's eyebrows were drawn together a little. "Could I maybe get your parent's address? I never really got a chance to thank him. The paramedics came, and that was that."

Clark nodded. "Sure. He'd love to talk to you again, I'm sure. How about I arrange for you to come to dinner some weekend? Or... some time when you have time off?"

The offer came naturally to him, in the same sort of way that his mother and father had found a young boy at the side of the road and made him their son, or any waif or stray got at the very least a hot meal at the Kent household.

Which reminded him, he ought to look in on Bart soon, see how he was getting on now he was following suit with the costumed heroics.

"Sure. Sometime. I should've put two and two together. Chloe's always telling stories about 'back in Smallville'." The papers were set on his desk, and he moved to a stand of what looked like thin wooden sticks with red plastic cylinders on all of them. "And she's mentioned you a couple of times. You work with her cousin, right?"

"Lois Lane, yeah," Clark nodded watching him carefully. "She's got the Metropolis touch though, when it comes to stories. I'm more of a people person."

And he could tell that Lex had lost some of his natural wariness around him, which was good. Clark liked to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and it didn't seem fair to judge Lex on the Luthor name. He cleared his throat. "That must have taken a lot of courage to do all that?"

Lex was starting to move pipettes around, setting up tubes for testing in a mechanical sort of way. Then again, he'd been doing it at least four days a week, for nine years. It probably came pretty automatically to him by now. "To do all what?"

"To turn your life around and basically walk away from family pressures?" Clark prompted.

"I had to reevaluate what I needed in life. And when I thought about it... I didn't need my father. And he didn't really need to keep me around. He pulled Lucas out of the woodwork once I left. I had money that had been left to me when my mother died, and all of her stock shares along with the ones I gained when I turned 18. I sold my car collection, invested the money. Once I'd consolidated things, I realized that I could do anything I wanted without relying on anyone. It wasn't that hard to walk away." His head was tipped down, adding solution to four tubes.

"And you chose this, and the charities," Clark half stated and then could see from the way the man was backing away in his body language if he pushed too hard at this angle he would lose the story. "Tell me about the others here, the people you work with and how it works?"

"How it works? You mean the department, or...?" He looked up, blue eyes bright while he reached for another sample.

"Anything you want to tell me. About how your specialty works, about how things link together. Chloe told me that you're one of the most senior here," Clark replied. "I expect you know pretty much something about everything right?"

"Mmhm. When it comes to it, I can stand in for anyone on their days off or if one area is flooded by a case..." He went quiet, but not in a way that discouraged Clark. It was concentration as he drew fluids out of one tube. "I'm not sure how to explain it. I run DNA, and get tox reports back, ID chemicals in people's bloodstreams. With that information and with the information that comes from Ash over in trace, and Chrissie in prints, the investigators... Think of it like a giant puzzle. The puzzle is in the evidence. All of us read it, interpret it, but the Investigators give it context. They find the pieces and put it together, while the rest of us define those pieces."

Clark nodded. "That's a good analogy. So you need all the departments to make a case, not just one person. What do you think that the public think or know about the CSI labs?"

"I know that when paperwork's been filled out wrong by the police department, we're always the first one to get the blame," Lex drawled. "If someone takes a cheek swab without a warrant or probable cause gets dismissed -- this goes for any bit of evidence -- we get the blame. The victims, their families, turn on us faster than you can turn on a light bulb."

"That must make keeping motivation difficult?" Clark asked. He could understand the truth in what was being said. Chloe had talked of the frustration of 'technicalities' often enough.

"It should, but it doesn't. They've been hurt, and they want justice. People lash out at the most convenient person available, and why not the criminal investigation department? They handled the evidence that's now inadmissible in court. Some of us..." He paused, moving liquids around that Clark wasn't sure what they were. "Handle it better than others. Ash understands, but trace doesn't usually come under fire. It's DNA, prints, or the investigators themselves."

"Perfection is a very difficult standard to live up to," Clark nodded. "Has it ever got to the point where you've felt like it's too much?"

"It's rough some days, but it's never... too much." He looked up again, faintly smiling. "After all, I do good work with swabs, and vials and samples. I know that I wouldn't be able to handle field work."

"No?" Clark queried tilting his head just a little. "Why not?"

"I... have some quirks." He smiled again, moving to another tube. "Actually, I'm pretty neurotic. I just wouldn't be able to do it."

"I'm guessing that a lot of the staff here would say the same," Clark smiled. "I have to ask, it's been bugging me, what was the deal with the coffee cup earlier?"

That brought the oddest grin to Lex's mouth. "Winters had a theory to test, about how many liquid ounces a plain coffee mug could hold if adhered to someone's hand with a specific type of epoxy. You can get ten ounces in before the epoxy pulls off skin cells, and it's dissolvable with commercial grade acetone."

"I'm assuming that wasn't just for fun," Clark shook his head still smiling. "You volunteered for that?"

"Sure. Why not? The vic was right handed, and I'm not." He lifted his left hand, holding one of those pipettes. "Most of us are pretty willing to help with experiments that could help a case."

"On the principle of if it helps it's worth it," Clark surmised. "Whose job wouldn't you want around here?"

"Field agent," Lex reiterated. "They go onto a scene when the blood spatter's fresh, diagram it, probe the wounds. They're the ones that find the headless bodies, the brutalized kids. I couldn't do that."

"They get a lot of burn out?" Clark worried fleetingly about Chloe. He'd tried hard to protect her in Smallville -- to the extent of a lot of unknown and unknowable risks and near death encounters. And yet, here she was staring at death every day, like all of them did here.

That was a fantastic concept for the article. People got medals in the military for doing less. He could easily draw comparisons that made the heroism evident without trowelling on the sentimentality.

"Plenty of it. Everyone has cases they can't handle. Winters doesn't do wife-battery cases, because he can't approach them with a clear head. He passes those on. Klaus goes weird on cases with dead animals... So on and so forth."

"And yours is... children?" Clark queried carefully.

"Yeah." A faint tightness crept into his smile.

Clark nodded. "I can understand that. I have a younger sister, Lara. I was adopted, and Mom and Dad were basically told they would never have children. And then... well it was a bit of a miracle. I don't know if I could be impartial about anything that happened to her." He glanced at his watch. "Oops, I better think about going around some of the others, I've been letting time carry me away here."

"Well, you have good timing, since I have some results to deliver to Klaus..." He smiled, and dropped a few tubes into the centrifuge. "You have a good day, Clark."

"You too, Lex," Clark nodded getting up. "I'll let you know about that dinner okay? I won't forget."

His eyebrows went up a little, and he nodded -- it was an odd nod, almost nervous. "Sure. You know where to find me."

"Yeah." Another smile and Clark said, "Thanks for your help. I hope the article pulls in some extra support for your charities too."

"I hope so, too. Every little bit counts." He grinned again, just a flash of teeth, and went back to dealing with his test tubes. Clark stored up one long glance at him as he turned to head to the trace lab and Ash. Beautiful eyes. Just... beautiful.

* * *

It had almost been a relief when Clark Kent went out on a call with Chloe and Adam. Then he'd understand the other side of the equation.

Lex wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, he seemed like a nice guy. And apparently his Dad was *that* Jonathan. On the other hand, he was a reporter, and Lex had learned early about detesting the press. They blew things out of proportion, ignored other things, fostered their own brand of social injustice, and gave the occasionally glory-hound killer his thrills.

What he was sure of was that his head was hurting, and there'd been a lot to process through. It was time for another cup of coffee to counteract his medication.

It looked like the others had emerged from their grilling with much the same thought in mind. Ash was already sitting down drinking his usual hot chocolate as opposed to mainlining the coffee everyone else had. Chrissie had sat down, looking tired and having obviously pushed through all the breaks to get her work done so Adam and Chloe could be released on the second case. There would be a short breather and then the work would filter down to them.

It always worked that way. If they'd caught up, there was a lull until the next rush, speed, immediately needed pieces of evidence came in. Up and down, up and down, the whole shift, but Lex liked it. Or maybe he was just used to it.

Lex set down his coffee cup, which had a Tetris design printed onto it, and picked up the pot with a sigh. "Ten cases down so far, and we're... five hours in?"

"And most of us lightly grilled by the reporter guy," Ash said staring into space a little. "Ed'll be here in a moment, he was just doing some impact simulations. I wonder how he got on?"

Chrissie sniffed as she cradled her black coffee. "He was polite, I'll give him that. And interested. Surprisingly interested."

"He was interested all right," Lex sighed, peering down into the pot before he poured his cup. At least it wasn't Maxwell House. Folgers tended to have more taste and be more drinkable. "I'm not sure what to think. His intentions seemed good."

"Pour one for me, Lex?" a new voice called out. "As all the investigators have flown the coop, I guess I get a moment to myself before I have to face the two new bodies the night has brought me."

Kieran put his files on the side and sat as wearily as the other even though he was smiling at them all. "So, whose intentions seemed good, what have I missed?"

"We've had a reporter shadowing all of us today -- why don't you come in and join the nitpick party," Lex offered, grinning a little as he got the sugar out, and one of the 'spare' mugs. Most of the mugs were spare, except for Lex's favorite and the cobalt glass one that Eddie drank out of.

"A reporter, hey? Somehow I am not surprised he hasn't made it to my realm of wonder yet," Kieran said. "Too much blood and guts. So, give me a clue? What's the angle? How did we end up with a reporter marauding around the lab, and where is he now?"

"He's tagging along with a DB case Adam and Chloe are out on. Human, found in a dumpster," Chrissie supplied.

"That'll be enough blood and guts for him," Lex grimaced a little as he added more sugar. "Well. It seemed like his angle was to do an upbeat story on us."

"In this place?" Ash snorted a little. "When we're the scapegoats of the criminal justice system?"

"Not always," Kieran pointed out. "We win plenty."

"For a man that spends his working life up to his elbows in death, you can be amazingly upbeat," Ash replied sardonically.

Kieran shrugged. "You become that intimate with death, life looks pretty good." Of course it could easily go the other way, but Kieran seemed to have the knack of never losing that warmth and openness despite the daily diet of horror his work served up.

It made Lex smile, just a little as he offered the man his cup of coffee. "Quite. That's why I keep coming in to work every day. The guy gave me the usual 'Luthor' shakedown, but moved on pretty quickly, so. Who knows what he'll manage, looking at this place with a new point of view."

"Reporters never do anyone any favors except themselves," Ash muttered swirling his drink.

"Just because you've never met a nice one doesn't mean that they don't exist," Chrissie said leaning back with an audible sigh. "He's got a good eye for detail, that one. Spotted a partial match before the computer highlighted it. He came across softly, but didn't miss a thing."

"Are you talking about the reporter? Kent?" Eddie grinned a little as he ducked in. "Cool guy. He really liked all the calibration equipment I have in there. Hey, Kieran. How's the morgue today?"

"Quiet," Kieran said in a stock answer, "Unless you mean in terms of work."

Ash twisted a half grin. "I thought you'd get on with him. Should I be telling Nigel about his appreciation of your calibration equipment?"

The blond ballistic tech scowled at Ash, and grabbed the coffee pot. "Everything is innuendo for you, isn't it?"

Lex moved back, stirring sugar into his mug, and fell back to sit beside Chrissie for the moment, watching them, quiet for the moment. He usually was the awake, boisterous one in the lab. It was one of those nights when too much coffee would make his stomach funny, but he needed to stay alert -- halfway through the shift, after all. He'd make it, even if talking with the reporter had thrown him off a little. Jonathan... Kent, then? Jonathan Kent, since Clark was a Kent, and he seemed the sort of have a nuclear family. Adopted, too. It sounded like an interesting familial set up.

"I'm just saying that if our Chloe is holding a torch for that one, he'd likely borrow it to look at a man's ass," Ash grinned.

Kieran raised his eyebrows and for some reason glanced over at Lex carefully. "Ah, *Chloe's* reporter friend, not her cousin? The one she describes as the essence of small town America? Does he live up to the stories?"

Probably because Lex had a knack for judging people's characters -- he'd developed it out of necessity, used it in day to day life, applied it to *everything*. "He seems to," Lex told him, giving Ash a look. "He came off as very genuine, and if he's anything like his father, then Chloe wasn't exaggerating."

"Wait, wait, how did his father come into this?" Ash asked, holding that look for a moment. He shrank back just a little as if the direct attention had been threatening in some way. "Never mind."

"No, I'm interested as well," Kieran asked. "You know his father, Lex?"

"It came up in, ah, conversation -- I was telling him about the man who jumped in after me that time I drove off a bridge... that was his dad. He's still alive, too, which is nice to know." Because he really wanted to thank him. Properly, maybe a little desperately. He needed to try to make the depth of his appreciation known, let the man know how much of a difference he'd made in Lex's life. If Jonathan hadn't jumped in, he'd be dead. If he hadn't stopped to talk afterwards, he guessed that he might as well be dead.

Chrissie sat up a little. "His father was the mysterious plaid-clad savior?"

"At least we'll be able to call him something better than the Plaid-Clad Savior," Kieran commented smiling. "So you finally know? That's great!"

There was a reason why he loved his coworkers. He didn't tell them *much* about himself, but what he said definitely stayed remembered. "Yup. I hope to get in contact with Mr. Kent and really thank him some time. It's great that I have the opportunity. It's... really a small world."

"Or it could be that good deeds have a habit of making themselves known," Kieran said sagely, and then ducked as Ash batted at him. "What?"

"You've got to stop snacking on the fortune cookies before work, Kier," the normally irascible trace technician told him.

"Chinese food is the best place to get food this late at night," Lex winked as he got to his feet. "Okay. You guys keep chewing in here. I have some things to run through Codis."

"Any clue on when Adam and Chloe might get back in?" Kieran said getting up as well. "Otherwise I'll dump this on Winters to pass on when they report in. I won't get whoever they bring in back done tonight, that's for sure, though the cause of death on these new two, is going to be contaminated meth or heroin, I can feel it. I'll have a tox sample for you later Lex."

"Great. Do they have names?" Lex asked while he moved towards the door. Overdose blood was fun to run through the paces, and it didn't make him think much. OD meant self infliction.

"Sheridan Hawkins and Renee Goulding," Kieran exhaled. "Experimenting with the harder stuff, I'll bet you. A dare, something forbidden and... exciting. And ultimately deadly." He was most likely right; he had an uncanny way sometimes of putting himself in the shoes of the deceased. Sometimes to the point where his famed resilience would crack.

Lex curled both hands around his mug as he moved out into the hallway beside Kieran. "That's how things go. I'll try and verify that for you, Kieran -- see you around." It was easier for him to slip back to his lab, crank his admittedly questionable choice of music a little louder, and settle in for bad pop-techno dance remixes and tox reports.

"Lex?" Kieran said in a low voice just as he was about to leave him "You are okay? With all this reporter stuff?" He looked a little worried for him.

That was nice, too, Lex decided. For a bunch of brash, married to their work people, they were nice. He stopped walking away quite so quickly, lingering where he was standing for just a moment. "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry."

"Worry is what I do," Kieran smiled at him, looking him over with his dark eyes. "Just thought it might have stirred up some... stuff."

The man got a tight smile for his trouble. "No. Not really. It just got me thinking. You have a good night, Kieran, and thanks."

The coroner nodded. "You know where I am," the man said. "And if you don't find me, you know I'll find you." He smiled again and then headed off up the corridor towards Winters office as if no private words had been exchanged.

Just like that. He was a good guy. Most of the people in the lab were on Lex's list of good guys.

Most people didn't have actual mental lists, but Lex wasn't most people. Lex liked to meander through his day to day, working, doing good things because it was the best way that he could help. Processing DNA was the way he was best suited to it. Simple as that.

Clark was a good guy, too, Lex guessed, but he'd asked a lot of questions and Lex had already had a touch of a headache when he'd rolled into work.

It would be interesting to see how he had faired out in the field with two of the investigators. Who should be due in at any moment. He should be back ready for them because dumpster bodies almost always were foul play of some description.

It wasn't very often that people crawled into dumpsters all by themselves, wrapped themselves up in some sort of bag, and killed themselves, after all. Not that it *hadn't* happened in the nine years that he'd seen, but. He just wasn't ready to consider that a standard for dumpster bodies.

As he settled back into his office and set Codis running again, pleased at what he had accomplished despite the additional task of a reporter interview, he noticed the sounds increasing in the corridor.  
Ah, there they were, right on time.

Any minute now... blood, swabs, everything was going to come pouring down on him. Just predictably, Chloe stuck her head into Lex's office.

"Hey, Lex? We've got incoming. Swabs, and Adam has some hair. Vic was a girl, aged seven to ten, so we'll be looking to see if we can get any hits on the other DNA we've found at the scene so far. We're going to try to ID her and work from there, but..."

Girl. Young girl, dumped in a dumpster. Lex swallowed his coffee, and got to his feet to meet Adam. "It'll go to the top of my pile."

The tall man moved past her into the room, even as he could see Clark loitering in the background. He looked pale, and his eyes rather bizarrely looked bluer than they did before, which had to be a trick of the light. He had been sure they were green when they were speaking in the lab.

"No obvious identifiers," Adam said as he put down the samples. "We're going to be relying on the autopsy and DNA on this one. Preliminaries indicate she was left for dead but managed to crawl half out before dying. There are scratch marks on the underside of the dumpster lid which will probably match to her fingers."

He was brittle and sharp with the news and watching Lex closely. All of the team knew about Lex's issue.

They didn't know why, but. They knew enough, they knew he hated those cases, they knew it broke his heart. They didn't need to know the rest. "She might have their epithelials under her nails, too. Whoever... whoever did that to her." He swiped up the samples, and turned away, laying them out methodically before he opened the tiny plastic bags to take the samples out. A short dark hair with a skin tag -- fantastic. Lex needed to concentrate on that, the fact that they had one of them right there in that skin tag.

"She's with Kieran now, but he won't be able to do anything until tomorrow. He's got our first two of the shift in there to process and I think Yorenson left him something to clean up from the multiple yesterday." Adam's lips thinned as if he didn't approve of leaving things undone.

"Roberts could process her when she comes in," Lex suggested as he slipped the hair into a vial. He looked over his shoulder again and... there was Clark still, out in the hallway. Watching. He could've sworn that the man's eyes were green.

"No. Klaus and Theresa have been out as well," Adam replied folding his arms. "Winters said Roberts will be doing theirs. She'll be priority next shift, but until then, that puts you as our source for leads. Winters decided Kieran should take it." Which meant it wasn't a good one at all, and there was a reason for the man's grimness.

Lex exhaled quietly. "Right. I'll be back to you once I run all of this, then." The moment that they left him alone, he'd be okay. He could process it all, fast, instead of distractedly moving, making sure he was doing things right.

Adam nodded, curtly, professionally and turned away moving past his colleague and Clark to get back to his office. There was the sensation of someone watching him though, if only for a moment and a glance up showed that Clark's eyes -- which can't have been that blue after all as they were sort of blue-green in this light were focused on him for a long thoughtful moment.

Lex gave him a faint smile, and moved to get back to his work. And soon he wasn't being watched by Clark anymore because Chloe had grabbed Clark's arm to lead him off. Somewhere.

And that was for the best, because he... just had a feeling, a twinge of intuition as he got around to running the samples through the machine. They had a sperm sample swabbed, and the hair, and the victim's blood. He almost didn't want to see what it came back as, and usually he was chomping at the bit.

But the printer fed him the facts after all of his hard work. Unknown female blood, unknown female hair -- both the girl's, because they matched. The hair was from her head, waving sandy blonde hair with a lot of kink in it. Then the dark hair, and the semen swab, and...

Lex's stomach leapt up into his throat as he looked at the results.

He had a DNA match. So often they never got a match but this time it came up with an alert and he paled a little reading the name.

Dominic Senatori

He knew that name. It was truthful to say that he knew that name intimately, and that made this case shift suddenly from merely difficult to almost unbearable.

He... he remembered a lot. A lot that he tried to not think about -- to the point that he avoided normal day to day things just to keep from thinking. that was how Lex had made his life bearable. He couldn't stand the smell of certain types of candy. He didn't eat in restaurants. He didn't take people home with him and he didn't go home with people. He always *drove* his own car, never hitched a ride. The radio was always on, because he hated the noises that his mind seemed to pour into silent spaces. There were a million tiny, explicit rules that ran his life, just so he could give himself the illusion of safety.

And there was a semen match from a young girl's body, with Dominic's name on it. It was bad enough that the man was his father's right hand, but...

Lex swallowed as he scanned further down the sheet, and then had to set it down as he dove for the trash can. He was going to be sick. He was going to throw up every bit of food he'd ever eaten.

The hair wasn't human. Part of the semen sample wasn't human. It was dog.

It was rather difficult to notice someone coming in the door when you were in the process of heaving your guts up. The first Lex knew that there was anyone there was the presence of a warm hand on the small of his back, steadying him. "You okay?"

He jerked sharply, pulling away from the hand -- and closer to the trash can -- lifting his head sharply. "Jesus fucking God, don't scare me like that! Oh God..." He dropped his head back down over the trash can, another wave of nausea hitting him. That poor girl. Fucked by a dog, by *Dominic*, left for dead. Dead.

"Sorry.... sorry," Clark apologized backing off a little. "You okay? You need a drink of water or something? You look like you've seen a ghost."

He'd seen a ghost. Or a shadow, but it was just memories inside of his mind. Things he couldn't shake off. Lex had been where that girl had been, but he was alive. That she... wasn't shook him to the core. That it was still going on was worse, made his skin crawl. Another wave hit him, but just bile came up. "Could you... g-get a Sprite from the vending machine? I..." He swallowed, trying to keep himself from gagging, from shaking too hard.

"Sure," Clark replied in a soft voice sounding concerned. "Be right back."

At least it meant he had a few moments to try and get himself together. Though why he thought he could get himself together in a few moments when he hadn't managed it in most of his life, he didn't know. He was a professional. He could do this. No matter what else, he could do this not in spite of what had happened, but because of it.

They had... proof, hard proof. It could end, and he'd never been able to do it himself. No more pain. No more innocents being hurt, at least not by *those* people. It... that was the reason why he loved his job. Putting scum away.

So why wouldn't his hands stop shaking as he sat on the floor? Lex wiping at his mouth with his gloves before he peeled them off and dropped them into the can. Vomit probably wasn't supposed to smell like it was almost entirely coffee. And ice-cream never tasted as good coming up as it had going down. The same with fish sticks.

There were footsteps coming back. The reporter -- he was bound to ask. It would be enough just to say the general details overwhelmed him. It would horrify anyone. He took a few shuddering breaths as the tall reporter came in and crouched down next to him proffering the can, still vending machine chilled.

"Here we go," Clark said, still with that strange concern in his voice. He wasn't used to that. He could count on one hand the people who had shown concern about him and most of those were people he worked with.

After a few years, you sort of had to care about your coworkers, and if you didn't, you were probably some sort of heartless bastard. Lex swallowed, reaching for the can. Still sealed, good. His hands were shaking, so it took a couple of tries to pop it, and then he swallowed a gulp. A little fizzy, but it was fine. Just what he needed. "Thanks."

"No problem," Clark replied still watching him. "You ill, or... do you want me to get someone?"

"No, I... We've got a match," Lex explained shakily, still not getting up from the floor. "He's on my dad's board of, of directors, I... Can you run and get Adam?"

"Sure," Clark nodded. "I can see why that's a shock to you. I'll go tell them, you just... take a moment."

He looked awkward and unsure as he got back up, "Won't be long."

"Sure." Lex took another sip of his soda, swirling it and listening to the fizzing of bubbles. Then he finally got to his feet, and meandered over to his desk. It was really hard to breathe, and he was glad that he was alone in the lab for the moment. Just a couple more of his pills -- it'd take him up to half of his twenty-four hour dose allowance, but he needed to stop shaking, needed to pull himself together. It didn't matter that it would take a little while to kick in, because it wasn't like the workday was over yet.

It wasn't so strange. He'd seen Chrissie hopped up on caffeine doses after pulling a near twenty-four hour stretch after one of the big multiples. They'd all been a bit crazy then. Him with his 'chill-pills', Chrissie popping stimulants, Ash going into a panic attack when a stressed authority figure came at him in _just_ the wrong way. Theresa disappearing into the rest room for over thirty minutes and Winters eventually having to go after her. Ed locking the door and just doing impact tests that weren't strictly necessary...

They all had their issues.

They all had problems and coped with them. He wasn't any different from the rest of them. He...

Lex exhaled slowly, concentrating to keep from hyperventilating as he fumbled open his desk drawer. He got the bottle out, now there was just the challenge of opening it. Damned childproof bottles.

He had only just managed to down the pill and sit back in his chair a little unsteadily when he heard people approaching. He could see Adam striding down the corridor, with the blonde shock of hair that was Chloe following closely behind him, shadowed by Clark Kent their official tag-along.

"Kent says you've got a name?" Adam said with no further ado. No one was really entirely sure what Adam's issues were, only that they were as dense and impenetrable as a black hole and whereas news like this might turn Lex into a shaking heap, it always seemed that the investigator's reaction would be to go on some sort of homicidal rampage. Not that he had, but there was a sense of barely concealed rage about him in some of the cases.

"Yeah. I..." Knew the guy. Jesus, avoided him like the black plague, hated him. Hated the thought of him doing anything to anyone. "We've got a hit. Dominic Senatori. And a d-dog."

He could hear a faint sound of reaction from Clark and a breathed out exclamation of "Jesus..." from Chloe. The stillness that descended over Adam showed, in his own unique way that he was shaken by the revelation.

"This is going to be huge," Adam said finally and deliberately. "We need to go and see Winters now. There's a possibility if we do this right we can get a link into the whole ring. Someone slipped up with this vic because this sort of thing is usually professionally managed. I think we can expect there to be some frantic attempts to clear up. We need that dumpster staked out... and... Lex, you able to walk?"

It was a stupid question, as far as Lex saw it -- he was leaning against his desk, a can of sprite in hand. He'd thrown up, not sawed his legs off. "Yeah."

"Come on then. Bring the hard copy," Adam instructed. "You, too, Kent. Especially you. We can't afford any of this to leak out before we are ready."

"I wouldn't compromise an investigation," Clark protested. "But you can't deny me a shot at this story!"

Adam turned and glared at him. "This is not a _story_ Kent, this was a _life_. A young girl who was assaulted and murdered simply because whoever it was had power and she didn't! And the wrong word or even a silence in the wrong place and they can do it again. You don't understand that. No one understands that except for the people who work here, facing it every day!"

Chloe's expression was tense, but she quietly cut in, "C'mon, Clark."

Lex tracked back to the printer, still swirling his sprite, then moved to follow Adam out. "I'm not sure if I can work this case. Dominic... is on the LuthorCorp board of, of directors."

"We'll see what Winters says," Adam replied simmering down a little from that out burst. "You are the best DNA tech we have Lex."

Lex drew in a faint breath, just nodding. Sure. Best DNA tech. He just... He couldn't *say* it. Not after Adam's comment about a silence in the wrong place. He was a walking silence, because he couldn't live any other way. And Adam wouldn't understand it, no one would unless they'd been there. You didn't tell people. You just... just...

Lex wasn't sure. He was tired, and wanted his stomach to settle down, and the case to move fast. Jesus. Dominic Senatori.

A delegation to Winters office, while not an unusual thing in itself, certainly tweaked people's attention. They were watched as they made their way there and they walked in a grim silence until Adam knocked on the door. "Sir? We have a break."

Lex was usually upbeat when he gave results. But not this time, no. His Diazepam hadn't kicked in yet, and his stomach was still threatening to lurch. "I ran the samples through, and checked them against Codis. The blood in the bag and the hair you pulled from the girl were a match -- none of the perp's blood was in it. Ah, the short black hair you gave me is dog hair. The seminal fluids were a mix of dog and... one Dominic Senatori."

Winters looked up at them from where he was sitting behind his desk. "Shut the door." It was an illusion of privacy as no doubt the whole team would know shortly.

"Senatori of LuthorCorp?" He glanced sharply at Lex.

The four of them moved in, and Lex offered the papers out to Winters. "Yes." He didn't need sharp looks just then. He felt a certain sense of fragility building in him, that he hoped didn't show.

"He slipped the net... a year or so ago if memory serves," Winters frowned looking over the data. "Adam, Chloe what are the odds on this being an isolated incident in your considered opinion? Is this going to be a surgical removal of this one individual or is it connected to any of our other unsolved cases?"

"We'll have to review files," Chloe decided, her mouth a thoughtful but hard line as she answered him. "But I think we might want to run some of the 'unknown' samples from older cases through Codis to see if they match him now. I mean, he's in the system from that case a year ago. That doesn't mean that this is a first time."

Lex slipped his hands into his lab coat's pockets. "Winters, can I have a word with you?"

Winters nodded to him. "In a moment, Lex."

Adam glanced at Chloe and then rather suspiciously at Clark who was trying to stay in the back ground. "We'll do some cross referencing. There might be some profiles that fit, and this is only the preliminaries. Kieran will give us more tomorrow... as long as Mr. Kent here doesn't blow the case for us."

Winters nodded. "Stay on it, the pair of you. Keep me informed. Mr. Kent, I need to have a word with you about this. I'm sure you can see what sort of level we are working at here. I need assurances."

Clark had been thinking rapidly in the short walk up the hall. "I'll give those assurances, sir, if I can follow this case."

Follow the case. Lex's jaw went a little tight, but he was going to stay quiet for the moment. Let Winters and Clark hash it out. All reporters had that inexplicable base interest in their 'Story', and he couldn't quite fault the guy for that. Too much.

"It'll make it into the papers somehow," Chloe offered Winters. "Lois could get hold of it..."

"And how will that necessarily be any worse than him working it?" Winters asked, his skepticism barely concealed.

Clark leaned on the edge of the desk. "With respect sir, I'll let you judge that when I submit the original article for your approval before the end of this shift. I have enough material to do it now, and frankly? We can help you on this. I think we could have a good working relationship."

"You'll have to prove that," Winters told him simply, "Adam, get on that. Chloe, pull the old cases and start to look through them. Lex will be out to rerun the samples through Codis in a few minutes."

Clark nodded as if he expected nothing else. It would be tight to deal with that article so quickly, but the idea was in his head, and he could type and revise at a speed that most reporters couldn't. If he started soon, he could get it done and then would even have time for trawling for back up data and phone calls on the charities and the other background details he had found. This article was going to *gleam* it would be so polished. They wanted a PR job, well, he would give them one fashioned out of the truth with all the emotional impact that he could muster. He was at that 'moment of truth' break that Lois had experienced even before he had joined the Daily Planet.

Only this would be much bigger and more important... And he had to do something to get the image of that dead girl, so like his sister Lara, but cold and still on the cold stone of that dark alley, out of his mind.

Winters gestured for them to leave, all except Lex and waited for the door to close behind them before looking at him quizzically.

Lex stood there, waiting a moment after the door had closed behind the three. What to say, how to say it... He kept his hands in his pockets, and cleared his throat a little. "Get a warrant to search his apartment. And you'll get more hits, Fred. This isn't a one time thing."

Winters raised an eyebrow at the offered information. "Sit," he gestured. "What do you know about this, Lex?"

He pulled out the chair, his hands unsteady as he sat down. "I... I'm not sure where to start." Or how much he could get away with not saying. Nine years. Twenty since it had last happened to him. Twenty years was a long, long time.

"Something to do with your bad reactions to do with this sort of case?" Winters guessed shrewdly.

Bad reactions. That was one way to put it. Lex shifted his hands, clutching them together in his lap. "If... *when* you go through Dominic's apartment, you might find pictures of me in there. It was twenty-some years ago, but..." He drew a shaky breath. There had still been five very long years and some months of Dominic and his friends, stopping only after his mother had died.

Winters inhaled sharply. It was obvious he wasn't quite expecting that level of involvement. "Does... have you told anyone else?"

"No. How... how could I? I, I..." He shifted, and drank another swig of his soda. Calm. Had to... keep calm. Or something like calm. "No."

"No therapy?" Winters wasn't even questioning that he might make it up and he had a look on his face as if that explained a great deal.

"A little. No details. I... just enough to get her to give me a prescription." Which probably meant that she was a bad therapist, but he was *trying*. He was vague with her, but he tried, he tried to listen to her suggestions and followed what he could. He wanted to do better in life.

But no details. It wasn't worth the risk.

"Right." Winters exhaled again. "A one off or...?"

"Five years." Hell, he was getting to be vague with Winters, which was almost a relief. Almost. "Dad needed money... About when I was eight."

"Five years. God." Winters looked old for a moment. "It wasn't just him was it? If your father was involved, there was something more?"

It was a good time to look down to the edge of the soda can, and not winters face. "It's a ring. They... what I remember is that they'd... trade you. Me. It..." Lex drew in a breath, and gave a nervous exhalation. "Was for a couple of days every once in a while. Like renting a motel room. Only it..." Was *him*. That poor girl.

"Dammit." There was silence a moment, a long moment as Winters contemplated. "What do you want to do, Lex? I know what my instincts tell me. I need my best DNA man working this as long as I can. They'll want to pull you, but if the ground work is done, Lex, we might stand a chance. Legitimately we don't know there might be a conflict of interest at this point."

Lex looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I… I don't know, Fred, I don't know if I can." His hands were shaking just thinking about it.

"Listen, if we go after this bastard," -- and that had to be the first time he had heard Fred even drift into the realms of profanity -- "... I swear to you, we're going to take down the whole lot. I don't just want Senatori, I want the ring. This is what we're about, making an impact. I have a problem, though -- Senatori got off last time because I took your recommendation that you couldn't work that case, which is totally understandable, more than understandable, and let someone without your expertise run the DNA profiling and had to deal with the consequences of an 'inconclusive' result. I bear the responsibility for that decision, Lex, but... now, the opportunity returns, and I don't know of anyone out there with the sort of fine touch that you have for this work. And yet I cannot in good conscience order you to do this. Tell me truthfully, Lex, can you deal with this?"

"I..." Could he? It was a good question, and he didn't have time to truthfully think it out. Later. "I can't in good conscience say no. So. I guess I'll have to."

"Then I'll need you on this. Kieran will have to provide the evidence that definitively puts the elements in the compromising areas, otherwise he could come up with some reasonable doubt ploy that he had used the place wherever it was prior to whoever did that to her. If your father and the LuthorCorp board were involved, we are going to do this incredibly by the book and have it nailed down tight. I'm willing to bet that some of our unsolved cases might be connected." Winters grimaced again as he considered the implications of how this case could spiral out of control. "Lionel Luthor plays rough when it comes to getting out of trouble. I believe Chloe can attest to that."

"Fred?" Lex twisted his empty soda can a little, hands restless as he considered what he was about to say. "He's my father. I'm intimately more aware of this fact than any of the department."

"I thought you had little contact with him?" Winters asked looking at him carefully.

"Today. Since I've come here. He still calls once a week. I still have to attend the odd function. Neither fact just... just erases the twenty one years that I spent under his thumb." It wasn't like his father would change his tactics or techniques, and why was Winters *giving* him that look? He was suspecting him, wasn't he? He was.

That was so damned wrong. Lex twisted the can a little more, and the side split, cutting his thumb. "Shit."

"Careful there," Winters said, absently. "Okay, Lex. As we stand at the moment there is no reason for you to be removed from the investigation. However, if I feel that at any point the defense could use your presence as a means to undermine a prosecuting case, I will take you off. And if you really can't handle it, seriously... I'm trusting you to tell me. I'll be monitoring the finds. If there's no evidence of you involved. then we continue -- because they wouldn't be able to invalidate your evidence without incriminating themselves. I want you to tell me if you're approached by your father over this, in fact I might see if I can spring for a wire or a phone tap if you'll agree to it, just in case."

Lex drew his hand up to his mouth, nodding. Then he mumbled around his thumb, "He calls me on my cell, so I'm not sure how that would work out. If... You do find... me in there somewhere, you'll only take me off the case, not..." Take him out of *work* for a while, which was his greatest fear. He loved his job, and that was why he'd always kept it a tight secret. He didn't want to lose his job.

Winters looked at him with a serious expression. "This has given me a great deal of insight into why you always seem so surprised when I say how important you are to the department Lex. I'm not exactly effusive with my praise, am I? People like you are rare indeed and I'll be frank, I live in fear of the day when someone might poach you from me. I will protect the case, but I also protect the team. That's what it's about, understand? You have my support. Do you want me to recommend a therapist for you? The one I use, perhaps?"

"...I didn't know you used a therapist." He sucked at his thumb a little more, trying to staunch the bleeding, then just gave up. Sort of like what he'd done with his personal life. Left it a mess and kind of just ignored that he'd never tidied it up very well.

"It's not something I noise about," Winters said. "But yes, I do. I'll drop the name in for you later. Go get your thumb seen to, and make sure you take your statutory breaks, Lex. No skipping them no matter the urgency of your colleagues' demands. If they give you a hard time, send them to me."

That was a strange order -- usually breaks were sort of optional things, and Lex didn't usually take them. But if that was the word from on high... "I will. Thanks." He stood up, and turned carefully, dropping the soda can into the trash as he pulled open the door with his right hand, which thankfully wasn't bleeding.

Winters watched him go, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. This had given him a lot to think about, and he had a feeling there was going to be a lot of discussion going on at the highest levels. All this, and a reporter, too. God help him.

* * *

Winters was just a little tired. Just a little tired, and just a little nervous waiting for the warrant. It was a race against time, but the DNA match was more than sufficient evidence for the warrant. They'd taken the swab off of the little girl's genitals -- it didn't get much more damning than that, and he could imagine this scumbag pleading, 'I fucked her, but I didn't kill her,' in hopes of some leniency.

If Winters got to write the laws, the death penalty would apply to child molesters, too. But that wasn't up to him. He just read the evidence.

And by the looks of it some tripe of an article from the way that reporter was loitering outside his office door. He was mildly surprised that the man looked like he was used to covering nights and dealing with the odd hours. Visitors were usually on the verge of falling asleep after a shift with the night team.

"Sir? You want to look over the article before I submit it?" Clark asked politely.

"Yes." Winters got to his feet a little, hand out to take the rough draft. "Did you enjoy shadowing our part of the department today?"

"It's certainly been an experience," Clark replied, passing over the sheet. "Everyone has been very cooperative."

Even if Adam had shouted at him. But then he'd used that in the story as well, the part about the bodies being people, that the cases were about people and not just about data.

"Mmhm. Did you find any members particularly interesting? I know that you're good friends with Ms. Sullivan..." He cleared his throat a little as he sat down, putting his reading glasses back on so he could carefully scan the article.

"I had a particularly good conversation with Lex," Clark replied. "But I think it is evident from the article that I found all the members interesting."

The article was of substantial length; Clark was confident that the material in it was strong enough for it not to be cut. Perry might choose to serialize it, but he wouldn't cut it. He watched as Winters scanned over the first lines hoping he had hit the tone just right

"The ability to face death has always been regarded as one of humanity's ultimate tests of character. All around the world, people are acknowledged for their bravery in facing the possibility of death for whatever reason. Medals are given out, awards and public recognition seem to be the fruits of such an endeavor.

"Except, it would seem, when facing death is something done so frequently that it is your job; there, the courage to face what most people would regard as extraordinary, harrowing things are so commonplace, so ordinary that the people doing it don't even realize it is a part of their existence. It is easy to dismiss the CSI department as dry and unfeeling as the data they are required to process, but what they do in the end is not about data, or cases, it is about people, death and in the end, justice..."

The whole article was in that vein, and Winters soaked in the material carefully, making sure that there was no turn of a phrase that could give away a case. No, which was good. There was a little about each of them, and a little more about Lex -- just due to his charity -- that made his mouth twitch. "It's very well written, Mr. Kent. And I notice you carefully avoided mention of any of the cases -- good work. This article is approved."

"And my request to work alongside this case?" He'd have to do a few other stories. That wouldn't affect him as much as anything else. But he couldn't pitch it to Perry without permission to do so from the head of the department. "You want to put a more positive swing on your department and the police department in general, and I can do that as well as follow leads that perhaps the official channels cannot?"

"Granted," Winters said after a moment of pause. "Your newspaper must cover cases like this, and perhaps we'd benefit to have you covering them instead of Lois Lane."

"You understand that my Editor might try and use both angles?" Clark said. "Lois is... a specialist in the corporate dirty secrets stories. We've worked together before -- in fact if you've ever seen a positive slant in her stories that was probably me."

Two sides of the same reporting coin, then; Winters still nodded. "I understand. One can never silence the press, but one can court favorable press."

Clark smiled. "I'll find an acceptable way to write it up. I'll be seeing other departments as well, but I think it's going to be a good angle to show how it's the work here that is critical to closing a big case like this."

"Case in point -- we're waiting to serve a warrant on Dominic Senatori. You won't be allowed near the scene until it's been secured, however..." The phone in his pocket rang, and Fred Winters stood up sharply. "Please, feel free to entertain yourself here."

"Understood sir," Clark replied and took that as a dismissal even if he was listening as he saw himself out.

"You're sending a policeman over to the building with a warrant? Perfect. We'll be on our way..." Winters followed Clark out of the office, then power-talked past him. "Adam! Chloe! Get your asses in gear!"

"We got it?" Adam ignored Clark as he strode out of their office. "Chloe, leave that, we can do that after... we've got a live search."

"On Senatori?" Chloe's eyes were keen as she followed after him. "Great. That's great -- Hey, Clark."

"Mr. Kent is staying here for the moment. Get your kits, and let's go." Winters expression was shockingly *awake* as he headed out to leave.

"We're on it," Adam said nodding again. "By the book, Sullivan -- we don't want any hint of a technicality for dismissal, because they'll take us apart looking for anything. Even if we have Probable Cause."

Clark stood to one side even as the pair of them shifted up another gear. At the end of a ten hour shift he was not entirely sure how any of them had another gear to go, but it looked like the team was pulling a double to get this pushed through.

And he was being left there. To fend for himself among the lab techs who were all... still working. Double shifts all around?

Seemed to be the norm. He watched as they all cleared out, and then did the hasty calls to Perry, sent the email with his article and pitched the case at him. Perry leapt on it, told him to stay and he smiled a little to himself. He was the first one on scene and he would get it even before the others knew and were playing catch up. In newspaper terms that was a priceless edge. Perry had the chance to get what every major newspaper wanted in Metropolis. An 'in' with the Police Department.

Still, in the mean time, what was he supposed to do? Back to the techs. He wondered if they needed something to eat or something? That might grease the wheels a little.

Yeah. Good idea.

A blur of speed later and he had a variety of bagels, hot drinks, and breakfast pastries that the vendors of Metropolis could supply, and he wandered down towards the break room.

Eddie was the first guy to notice; it was a slow night for him, but he still had stuff to run through. "Kent? You brought food...?"

"Blatant bribery," Clark said with his best disarming grin. "Mr. Winters said I could stick around, and I was starting to get hungry and thought I'd ingratiate myself to you guys. Particularly as my editor likes the article I did on the department."

"Free donuts," Eddie grinned back as he moved to 'help' Clark set things down in the break room. "You know, you should probably tell the others."

"That was the idea. I just grabbed a load of things, I have no idea if people will like them," Clark said. His Mom was right. Food was a great way to get people relaxed. "I'll just talk a walk up the corridor, send them down. Try not to eat all of it before the others get here."

"Yeah, when you get back, why don't you join us?"

He flashed another brilliant smile. "Thanks, I think I will."

He congratulated himself on the idea as he wandered the offices, telling the irascible Ash, and the redoubtable Chrissie of the free food to be had, and then went across to Lex's workplace, knocking on the door as Lex was obviously a bit jumpy about people just appearing in the room next to him from his reaction. "Lex? I'm trying to corrupt the masses, and I got some food in? And cappuccinos from that place up the road. Want some?"

Knocking and then opening the door got him a wholly different reaction than just touching him had gotten. Lex looked up calmly, and smiled a little. "Coffee? I could probably use some food..."

"Well, you better come to the break room. Ed has been alone with those donuts for a good five minutes," Clark said with a smile. "I'm wondering if there will be any left from the way he was eyeing them."

"Nigel's coming up for a promotion, so he's been on a diet to shed a little extra weight," Lex offered as he picked up his coffee cup. "Which means Eddie hasn't had much access to sweets for the past month."

"Yeah? Must be as bad as the Daily Planet. Walk in there with donuts and Lois will have them and THEN hit me for bringing them in," Clark said. "C'mon, the others have just gone out on the warrant."

That seemed to peel away Lex's joviality, and he nodded as he headed for the door. "Great. Do you want to bet money that my phone's going to ring in the next half an hour?"

"You seem to be sure that's a safe bet," Clark said. "Why?"

"Dominic lives in Luthor Towers," Lex shrugged once they were in the hallway. "I know I'll get a call."

"You live there?" Clark asked puzzled.

"Me? God no. I live... Out on the edge of the city. It's quiet. I'm in a nice apartment building where a lot of retirees and career people live." So he didn't have children running around outside making noise, but he did have older people asking him to fix things. And that was okay for Lex. Better than okay. "My father lives in Luthor Towers."

"Ah," Clark winced a little. "That's going to be really awkward for you. He'll call you and try and what...?"

Lex gave a lazy roll of his shoulders. "I never can tell. Maybe he'll just say 'hello' in a threatening manner. I'm sure that as a reporter, you've had your run-ins."

"Mmhm. I have." Clark had to admit that. "Particularly with your father."

He'd spent his high school and college year playing a very dangerous game with the man. He'd proven the fact that one slip and the man would have him. He rather secretly wished that he never had saved him from the knife, but it had proven the point. He knew exactly who his worst enemy was. It probably wasn't the thing to mention to his son, no matter how estranged.

Or just... strange. He half wished that he'd eavesdropped on Lex's 'words' with Winters, but... He hadn't, and there wasn't any way to turn back the hands of time. "Most of the city has," Lex agreed as he turned into the break room. He seemed to zero in on the tray of large cappuccinos.

"Lex, tell Ed to share the donuts, otherwise I won't give him any of the bagels," Ash said the moment he stepped inside obviously expecting him to arbitrate the good natured argument.

"Ed, if you share the donuts I'll think about sharing the coffee. And we have to leave enough for the investigators," Lex noted as he picked up one of the coffees and carefully popped the top to pour it into his own clean coffee mug.

"You're kidding? You know what Klaus is like," Ash sighed and sat down even as Clark took a drink himself, and Chrissie looked at her cappuccino with the delight of an addict getting a good hit.

"Hey, this is the quality stuff, Kent," she said "Oh God, this is the hazelnut blend... Mmm." She actually smiled almost dreamily which was a surprising sight considering how she usually behaved.

"I remember you saying you liked coffee," Clark shrugged.

Lex did a quick count, and moved five coffees to one side for their five inspectors, then dropped his empty cup in the trash once he'd shaken the foam into his mug. "It's safe to say that most of us like coffee. When you're night shifting... you need something."

"Like donuts," Ed said as he walked away from the box with one clutched tightly in hand, wrapped in a paper napkin.

"Well there's coffee and there's... mud frothed up in hot water," Chrissie said savoring her cup and favoring Clark with a nod and a smile. Clark considered it worth the extra seconds he had taken to go to get it.

"So, Adam got the warrant, huh?" Ash asked. "Bet he nearly cracked a smile."

"Or one of those growly teeth-barings," Eddie offered around a mouthful of powdered sugar.

Lex snagged a Danish, and retreated to the corner while the others talked. He was still smiling every now and then, but the topic had made him pretty... withdrawn, and Clark wanted to guess that he wasn't usually like that in the office.

Mind you, the thought of it was enough to make anyone upset or uncertain. He'd seen enough of this particular case to understand why it would send anyone upset. And if Lex knew Senatori...

God, that had to be terrible.

Clark moved over near him, settling close by as he listened.

"He's pretty scary," Clark contributed with a slight laugh. "I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him."

"Adam?" Lex shrugged his shoulders, sipping a little at his coffee as he picked his Danish apart carefully. "He's very intense, but he's not scary."

"He managed to shout at me within a few minutes of meeting me," Clark replied smiling as he bit into his own Danish. "That puts him as someone to be careful around. Either that or he really doesn't like reporters at all."

"Hey, none of us like reporters," Ash said with his mouth full. "No offense but as a collective, reporters are pretty much regarded as scum of the earth by the departments."

"Ash!" Chrissie berated him.

"What? Ain't nothing but the truth, Chrissie." Ash looked unrepentant.

"Chloe's beloved cousin in particular," Lex said with a faint, faint smile. "I'd love to sit in here and chew the fat for a while longer, but I have some Tox reports to run on some druggie urine."

"Nothing says 'I love my job' more than soaking test papers in dead person's pee," Eddie grinned a little. "Here, grab a plate for that mess you're making out of your Danish and take it with you."

"I'll get it," Clark said fetching one. "Lex, you mind if I use your office to do some work on my laptop? Ed offered earlier but the impact tests still make me want to duck and cover."

"Uh..." Lex started to stand up, mug in hand, and snagged a napkin to take with him. "Sure, I guess. It's quiet in the lab. You can use my desk."

"Sure? Say no if I'll be in the way, I don't want to screw up anything you are working on?" Clark asked even as he stood to follow anyway.

"No, you'll be fine. Just don't spit in my tubes."

"Strangely enough, that wasn't part of my plans, but now you mention it..." Clark teased lightly and followed Lex back to his lair.

Lair was a good word for it, since Lex seemed at home in the place. Music playing, a comfortable setup... "Don't even joke about it."

Clark smiled. "You won't know I'm here, promise."

"Great. The desk is there, and... have fun?" Lex sipped at his coffee, and started up the printer again, perching a little away from the supplies to eat his food without making a mess.

Clark nodded and settled down to catch up on all the other pieces that Perry had told him he had to do as well as track this one. If Lex wanted silence, that was what he got, save the gentle tap of his fingers on keys.

Tap tap, tap tap was fine for Lex. He had a lot of other things to process for the lab. That still didn't soothe his mind. He could imagine that the investigators would be back at any minute. And what they might have found there. He knew that Dominic kept a Doberman as a 'guard', but really more to scare the shit out of pedestrians when he walked it. So two and two made four, which made...

Lex's cell phone go off in his pocket like some sort of ticking time-bomb, playing the classic strains of 'Devil went down to Georgia'. "Fuck."

"You don't have to answer it," Clark suggested hastily as it continued playing the tune. "Is it him?"

"The last time I deigned not to answer my phone, he 'suspected' that something ill had befallen me, and showed up to work." Yes. That was as much of a 'yes' as Clark needed, while Lex put down the emptied pipette and flipped his phone open. "Luthor."

~"Lex, my boy."~ Lionel's voice was a touch rough this early in the morning. ~"I just thought I would call and inquire if you could enlighten me to as to why some of your colleagues have taken it upon themselves to disturb the peace of Luthor Towers?"~

"No idea. I've told you to not call me every time a siren pulls up to the building." Lex turned a little away from Clark, feeling his nerves start to crawl. It always happened. He could be having a wonderful day, and his father merely calling would suck the life out of him, leave him cold and shaken.

~"Now, now Lex, you may have forsaken your family, but you cannot forsake your blood,"~ the voice purred insinuatingly. ~"You wouldn't be a Luthor if you didn't know what was going on around you. And I know how particular you are about being surprised by anything. Are you trying to tell me that you genuinely have no idea why your own department decided to batter their way into Dominic's apartment?"~

"I don't discuss cases with you," Lex hissed, ducking his head down. "And my department doesn't batter. They get a warrant. Just like you haul out your lawyers. I'm not going to talk about this."

~"Dominic is likely to be very displeased,"~ Lionel commented easily. ~"And I know for some reason you disliked to see him displeased. You were _very_ close at one point."~ Talking to his father was like slowly chewing on poison. ~"I do hope that this is all a terrible mistake, don't you? It would inconvenience me a great deal to have a lengthy disruption to my Board. Really, anyone would think that you didn't have real crime to fight. Or is that it? Since the arrival of that... alien, you have to do this sort of thing to convince the taxpayers your jobs are worthwhile?"~

"Are you done? I already said that I'm not going to discuss the case. I'm not going to let you bait me into discussing the case. Mentioning 'Superman' isn't going to get my hackles up like he gets yours up. I almost think you're losing your edge."

~"Really Lex, this is ridiculous. I do hope this action does your department no harm."~ There was a significant pause and then Lionel said in a lazy tone. ~"Professional, of course. It wouldn't kill you to remain courteous to your relatives. You might find that there is a degree of security to be had from renewing our association."~

The same old story, given a new push by his father. He didn't sound upset but...

But Lex knew better.

He sucked in an unsteady breath, exhaled, and then inhaled again, trying to concentrate on staying calm. "As long as you... no. Jesus, you almost got me there. I'm not really interested in renewing any association with you. And you know *why*."

~"Well perhaps you can explain in detail over a lunch or dinner?"~ Lionel suggested mildly. ~"Hmm?"~

"No. You know I don't eat out. Or with you, anymore." Lex gave a laugh, and it cracked, just like his crackling nerves.

~"Well, I'll just have to hope that you reconsider, Lex. I would love to talk over old times."~ Lionel's phrases were all full of subtle nuance that were almost another language, a Luthor language, uninterruptible by the normal world but Lex could read the meanings well enough. ~"You have my number if you change your mind."~

"I know, and I won't be reconsidering. I'll see you at Christmas, as always." In the grand tradition of _A Lion in Winter_, Lex decided, still barely holding onto the phone. His fingers were loose on it, grip lax so he didn't throw it at anything. Or break it. "Now, I'm at work, so if you don't mind, I have to go."

~"Of course, I wouldn't want to trouble your busy workload,"~ Lionel said. ~"Goodbye, son."~ And just like that he hung up, seizing back the control of the conversation.

Lex let him. It wasn't worth fighting. And he just... closed his phone, drew a shaky breath, and shoved it back into his pocket. Jesus. He couldn't do that too often. The best part was how his father pretended that there was nothing wrong.

"You okay?" Clark was turned around watching him. Lionel had a way of commanding someone's entire attention, and he had momentarily forgotten he had been sharing the room. "It was him, wasn't it?"

Fuck. He had to pull together, immediately. Lex kept his back to Clark, and then meandered calmly back to retrieve his coffee cup. "Yes. And yeah. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. Sit down Lex," Clark said gesturing to the chair. "I was going to offer to leave but it was a bit late. Was he trying something?"

"He always tries to find out about my cases," Lex muttered as he sipped at his coffee. He still didn't make a move to sit down. It would've been too much like being trapped. And that was the last thing he wanted just then.

"Just to annoy you?" Clark asked, though he was aware it was more than mere annoyance. Lex looked shaken and disturbed, as if talking to his father was a great ordeal. He could hear Lex's heart beating from here, without straining too much. Everything about this man whispered at him to find a way to fix things, but he didn't even know what was broken.

"Just to get information on me," Lex suggested. "He thinks... that I can just be, be an in for him into the station. And he *knows* that this is about, why Dominic's being raided. Just... wanted me to say it." Making him a risk to the department.

"Well if it makes any difference, it was probably lucky I was here with you then," Clark replied. "So you have a witness that nothing happened."

Lex shrugged his shoulders tightly, pacing more as he drank his coffee. Slow, tight circles, to shake off the bunching feeling in the muscles of his legs. "I'm going to get pulled on this case. It won't matter."

"Because of your father?" Clark asked gently easing into the question. He could tell that he was on the edge of something here.

"Yeah." Lex rubbed as his temple and nursed his coffee a little more. "I have to get back to work."

"Okay, " Clark replied hesitantly. "But if you do want to talk about it... off the record, I'm willing to listen."

It was a stupid offer really. Clark knew that, Lex was most likely to go to a friend, but he remember Pete telling him once that sometimes it was easier to talk to a stranger.

"Look, I... don't talk about it," Lex murmured as he set his coffee on the outer desk, and sat down to get back to work again. "I never have."

Clark looked at him askance. "I do understand about secrets, Lex. I also know that if you don't share with someone. it can end up destroying you more than other people knowing would."

It had nearly happened so many times until he had found a way of living both sets of the truth at the same time. "I also understand the consequences of it as well. Remember that FBI case against your father that got dismissed because one of the witnesses disappeared?"

"I do." He shifted his fingers, and finally got to his feet again, and walked back towards the desk, towards Clark -- more importantly, towards his pills. Fuck it. He knew, could feel it coming, that his whole house of cards was going to fall down on him. Winters probably knew that, too. Dominic was a packrat, they'd find him, him as he'd once been, in that apartment somewhere, and then...

And then he didn't know what would happen. And it scared him.

"I was the missing witness. Missing for three months while the trial went on." Clark said. "Chloe was the other, I don't know if she said."

"She's said," Lex told him quietly. "There's a crime in silence. With only a tape recording against him, my father got off." There's a crime in silence. God, that thought was going to just eat him alive, and he... he needed his pills. It was like waiting for a volcano to explode. "Hey, can you move?" Lex half-suggested as he reached to open up the desk drawer, but not wanting to touch Clark in the process.

"Sure," Clark leaned away so he could do so. "I just wanted you to know I may not understand everything but I'm not likely a person to say, no, he couldn't possibility have done that. And neither would Chloe for that matter."

"I've known Chloe for a few years now," Lex commented as he pulled out his pill bottle, then opening it. "We've covered a lot of cases where people get off on technicalities. Technicalities like people who have a vendetta or motive against them."

Clark watched him. "And that's connected to this?"

"I have the barest of contacts with my family. I see them at Christmas. I talk to my brother once in a while. I talk to my father once in a while. It..." His hands shook as he shook out two... hell, four. That was it for him for the day, and he was going to drop out of reality in about an hour, but fuck it. Winters, Adam and Chloe would be back then if not sooner.

A man had to prepare for his nervous breakdowns.

"And they'll pull you for that contact if your father is connected to Senatori?" Clark asked watching him, but not really realizing what it meant.

"They'll pull me for Senatori," Lex said as he checked that all the pills were five mg each. "And if I luck out, they won't. But they'll pull me for my father. Who is connected, but perhaps not by evidence. Hey, can you open the drawer by your knee and pass me a bottle of water?"

Clark felt a chill at the implications of Lex had just said even as he reached for the water. He wondered if Lex realized what he had just admitted, "You... you're linked to Senatori?"

"Yes." And maybe he didn't know what he was saying, and maybe he did. Lex tossed the pills into his mouth, and then held his hand out for the bottle of water. Clark passed it over looking directly at Lex as if searching for the answers there so he wouldn't have to ask.

Lex didn't have answers, as he cracked the bottle and washed the pills down. He drank half, and then set it back down carefully, away from Clark's papers. "Right. I need to get back to work before this shit hits."

Clark opened his mouth to push the moment and then hesitated in defiance of his reporter's training. There was something too brittle to push right now. "Okay," he said finally, as if that would make it okay. One thing was for sure, he wasn't going anywhere. Lex might not realize it, but he needed someone there if only to give him a witness if things were going to be as serious as all that.

Lex was quiet after that, but the lab was thick with tension. Thick. Lex worked quietly, in tight jerky motions, trying to go faster. Getting as much work in, *complete* before the call came. Before the guy from the next shift that was actually being worked came in, before...

His cell phone rang just as he was putting the last results through Codis.

Clark glanced around as the cell played Hail to the Chief and this time he let his hearing wander just a little as Lex answered.

~"Lex, it's Fred."~

"You know, I've been wondering when you'd call. I'm all caught up on the backlog." It was a sick rush of relief, but it didn't stop Lex's heart from hammering in his chest.

~"...that's good news." ~ It genuinely sounded like it was. ~"Lex, you were right. I'm sorry." ~

"So'm I. Is... there a lot?" He turned his head walking to pick up his coffee cup. He was shaking. Like a leaf, but at least he could talk.

Another long pause. ~"It... yes. "~ Winters sounded old then as if what they had faced there was something no one should have to face. ~"I thought I was expecting it after what you said, but..." ~

"I don't like to go into details." He took a sip of his coffee cup, relying on bravado to keep him upright as he leaned against the counter. "I... Look, I'm going to cut out early instead of pulling a full double shift. Unless..." They had to talk to him about the pictures. Which he didn't want, but procedure was procedure no matter who they were.

~"How many tranquilizers have you taken?" ~ Winters asked unconsciously lowering his voice.

"Uh... two when I came in, one midway, four just now. Still five milligrams within my safety net." He didn't pitch his voice down, instead leaning more against the counter, eyes closed as he talked into his cell. "I'm still coherent."

~"I want you to get someone to take you home. Now. By the time we get back you'll be teetering on the edge, and I can't in good conscience let you try and get home alone. We'll do your statement tomorrow. By then we'll have enough evidence that yours will be not the lynch pin of the case." ~ Winters paused. ~"Okay?"~

"Okay. But I'm driving myself home. I don't... let people drive me. I... I'll just see you tomorrow."

~"Lex, no, with that--"~ It was too late -- he'd already hung up and cut the man off.

Lex let out a shaky breath and pocketed the phone. "Good luck on the case, Kent." He was going to go home, and fucking collapse. Curl up on his sofa and watch old movies.

"Wait, wait... what are you doing?" Clark asked looking alarmed. "I heard something milligrams and driving, what was all that?"

"I'm going home," Lex said firmly. He could see what was coming. Kent was going to offer, because hey, that was just the kind of guy Chloe had always mentioned he was. "Winters doesn't want me to drive myself home, but I don't take taxis and... I don't ride with people. I'll get home before this stuff really hits."

"I'm going with you." Clark said immediately. "Jesus, Lex -- okay, you drive and I'll ride shotgun if you want to do that, but it's been a long night. What if you haven't got as long as you think? Or traffic is bad?"

"No!" He took a step backwards, suddenly sharp. "I... I, I... just don't." He wished that things hadn't come to that, that he hadn't had to get sharp with a 'nice' guy.

"Is it that I'm a stranger or... just anyone, because if it is just anyone then I'm still going with you Lex. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you or anyone else." Clark said standing firm. "I know you don't want that."

"You don't know me." He darted in to leave his mug on the desk, almost a little neurotically, then headed to leave the lab. "And I want to get out of here before they roll in."

Clark grabbed his jacket. "I'm coming with you," he insisted. "My Dad would hate for his hard work to be undone because I wouldn't make a nuisance of myself."

"Look, I..." He kept walking. "I'm really uncomfortable with anyone going home with me."

"I gathered," Clark replied. "I swear I won't do anything okay? I'll... just see you to the door, I won't come in. Whatever, but I'm not going to allow you to drive back alone. You can trust me Lex."

"How will you get back home?" Damn, even pragmatism wasn't working on the guy. He wasn't going to shake him. "Never mind. You probably have some snappy solution for that. Fine. You can come with me."

"I'll take a taxi," Clark said earnestly. "Thank you. Seriously. You can be mad at me tomorrow or something."

"Too much effort. I just want to get home and collapse. Watch old movies. Blow up something in the microwave." Sleep didn't peg the radar just yet. He knew he wouldn't be able to. As long as he kept moving, kept running a few feet ahead of the lava flow...

"Where's your car?" Clark asked walking along side him. "You sure you're okay to drive?"

"No. But I'm going to," Lex gritted out as he pushed open the front doors. And faltered a little when he saw Winters getting out of his SUV. Fuck. He'd probably decided to rush over once Lex had hung up on him.

"Lex! Hold up a minute.." Winters looked at Clark a little bemused. "I wanted to check you weren't going to try to go alone."

"It's all right, Mr. Winters, Lex agreed to let me escort him back," Clark said politely.

Reluctantly agreed. Lex shied away from Winters, slipping his hands into his pockets. "What he said."

"Right. Eight." Winters looked discomfited and a little surprised. "Tomorrow, Lex, come straight to my office. We need to talk."

He didn't want to. He wanted... to never come in again, because that was his first instinct, but he loved his job. He did good work, so he just gave Winters a tight nod. "Of course. I'll see you tonight, then."

Winters gave them a brisk nod and then said "Thank you, Mr. Kent," before he headed off inside.

"If you're going to be back in later, then we'd better get you home," Clark said. "Car?"

Lex gestured with his head towards an unostentatious-looking Audi. Unostentatious until Clark realized it was one of the James Bond models. Gorgeous, sleek lines, but not too sporty. "This one." he took a moment to fish his keys out of his pocket.

"You still want to drive?" Clark asked in a normal tone. "That is a fantastic car -- I'd hate to see it knocked or scraped."

If... something happened, they'd know who it was. Even if Kent were that type of person, he wasn't that stupid. Lex's mouth thinned out, and then he didn't answer -- he merely tossed Clark his keys. "Drive."

Clark caught them automatically. "Wow, really?" he said as if Lex were doing him the favor not vice versa. "Driving quality won't be great. We only really had trucks in Smallville and they don't exactly handle that well." He carried on with normal chatter as if using it as a soothing blanket of sound to get them underway.

It helped, even if Lex stayed silent once Clark had opened the driver-side door. He opened the passenger side door, and took a long minute of pause before he got in. As long as he concentrated on breathing, he'd be fine. Slow breath in, slow breath out, until he got home. He wouldn't think. He wouldn't think about condoms on the floor mat and old bags of fast-food. Or how the seat went back. And...

"..mind you, this probably isn't the time to tell you that my track record with the trucks was a bit poor. Got tossed a couple of times," Clark said with a smile which faded a little as he turned to look at Lex as he turned the key in the ignition. The other man looked like he was on the rack or something. "...uh, yeah. So, you going to take it easy this afternoon? Not going to do anything?"

"Sleep," Lex shrugged, voice tight. "It's not like I'm going to go out and run a marathon." He rubbed at his eyes, closing them tight. Fuck. The guy needed directions. "Do you know where Sherwood Road is?

"Yeah, I can find it. You live there?" Clark asked even as he pulled away desperately trying to keep the conversation going, no matter how awkward it was.

"Yeah. I wasn't sure how... familiar you are with the city. It's a pretty quiet area." Lex leaded his head against the headrest, concentrating on breathing. In. Out. In...

"You get to know pretty much everywhere when you're a reporter. Stories happen in the unlikeliest places. I did a low key story up on Sherwood some time back," Clark continued allowing the words to flow almost hypnotically. "It was about a Mrs. Templeton and her apparently psychic cat. They start you on that sort of thing when you're the most junior reporter at the place. I had to be so serious about the whole thing and this cat decided to climb up my leg and… I swear, there I am asking these deep and meaningful question and the cat is trying to nest in my hair or something..."

"So you must've... psychically imaged as a bird to it," Lex joked weakly. "Or a big cat bed. Actually, Mrs. Templeton lives in my apartment building. I help her when her plumbing goes funny."

"Mrs. Templeton said that it meant that I must be very strongly psychic myself and special," Clark said relieved that there had been a bit of feedback from his passenger. "I had to point out that if that were the case I would be unlikely to be doing a story on her cat. She decided that it was a sign of things meant to be."

Lex almost smiled at Clark, but kept his eyes closed, bolt upright in the seat. "I'm sure she did. So, how did the psychic cat pan out?"

"Delphus -- Del for short -- was surprising accurate about predicting the weather with these weather symbols she had made, I'll give you that. Sadly he refused to predict the lottery numbers for me. Mrs. Templeton said that would be abusing his power, and that I was a 'bad boy' to even suggest such a thing." Clark grinned a little. "I nearly had my cup of tea withdrawn for that."

"I wouldn't have risked it. She makes a good cup of tea," Lex commented. "And cookies. I've never seen Del predict the weather, though. Usually he just attacks my feet."

"Maybe he likes the plumbing sabotaged. Maybe it's the source of his mysterious feline power," Clark grinned appreciating the smoothness of the car as they negotiated the traffic.

"It's very possible. I've replaced the pipe under her kitchen sink twice in the past year, and it keeps popping leaks. Next time, I'm looking for claw and gnaw marks." Lex sighed a little, and finally opened his eyes. He might as well. It was daylight, and there wasn't anything lurking in the shadows at him. Not from the moving car. Even if he got sick overlapping mental flashes of things that had happened years ago. "My father can't stand it, you know. That I'm happy living a mundane life."

"I wouldn't exactly say your life was mundane, Lex," Clark replied. "Even from what I've seen just today, I don't think anyone could say what you do is mundane. An extraordinary normality maybe, but definitely extraordinary."

"I process DNA, Clark. I'm a tech. I could... I could be a mogul like my father. I could be a businessman who's just rolling in it, but..." Lex shrugged his shoulders tightly. "I'm happy this way. At least until things like this happen."

"My dad would say 'Having everything, if you're not happy, is worse than having nothing'." Clark smiled. "Yeah, he really does talk like that. I know, I know. But… heh, you know who you're like? My Mom."

He lifted an eyebrow a little. "How's that?"

"Mom's dad was Jeff Clark of Clark, Henderson and Brown. I expect you've heard of them?" Clark glanced across at him. "Her dad had high hopes for her to follow him into the firm. She went to Met U and it was there she fell in love. Mom doesn't do things by halves. She saw my dad and an hour later she had decided he was the One." Clark took a deep breath. "She had to defy her father for her 'normal' life. He disapproved very strongly of my dad, said that Mom would be wasting her life, her potential. The fact that she would have been miserable in the firm never seemed to rate highly as a reason to him. They've been estranged since then. I only met him a couple of time. I think Dad worried about it for her sake sometimes, but..." Clark shrugged.

"People tend to know better than their parents what'll make them happy," Lex murmured. "I couldn't work with my father. I would've killed him by now. Or I would've paid someone to do it for me. And that's... not who I am."

"Yeah. That's the important thing. Doing what makes you happy is important, because... it spreads I guess," Clark said making a right turn. "And your father obviously doesn't make you happy at all. I'm amazed that you even maintain any contact."

So was Lex. He let his eyes rove out the window, trying to concentrate more on the scenery than the drifting feeling of dread that kept slipping off then surging back, like a pulse point that was stammering and skipping. "So am I. I don't have much of a say; he... forces contact. The best I can do is keep it to my own terms."

"It's pretty bad when that sort of thing happens," Clark agreed. "It helps to have people supporting you. Your friends help you?"

"I..." Lex shrugged his shoulders. "Don't let people close."

"There are some people you could trust, Lex," Clark replied, as if that was no surprise to him.

"I guess so," he sighed. "Everyone says that. My therapist says that. It's easy to say that when you're on the outside looking in."

"Yeah, easy to say, not so easy to do," Clark agreed. "So, same building as the psychic cat huh? That's... just up here on the right from memory, yeah?"

"On the left," Lex agreed a little tiredly. "Look... thanks. I'm sorry if I got short with you..."

"Perfectly understandable. I do have a habit of barging in where I'm not necessarily wanted. You did only meet me last night," Clark replied. "You've got no real reason to trust me, I understand that." There was a wry twist to his mouth when he said that. "I have people who have known me for years who seem to think I'm no open book."

"That happens. Most of the office..." Lex shrugged again, and gave another tired sigh. It was probably for the best that he hadn't driven himself, because it was really getting hard to not yawn. "Is going to be shocked once Winters processes the evidence. There's nothing wrong with... keeping things to yourself."

"I agree with that. Why are they going to be shocked?" Clark asked as he pulled in to the building parking area. He wasn't going to leave this car on the street.

"Because," Lex murmured, leaning his elbow the armrest, peering out the window. The trees that lined the street, the shop fronts were familiar to him. "I warned Winters, and he still didn't expect it. I... don't know how I'm going to face them."

"Warned him about what?" Clark asked even though he had a growing suspicion.

Might as well say it. Might as well, because Kent was just going to head back there and learn more once he got to the station again. "That I'm in the evidence."

Clark managed to bring a car to the halt before he responded. There were two ways Lex could be in the evidence; as an accomplice or as a victim. He didn't have to be a genius to work out which one the other man was. All of the strange behaviors, avoidance, his emotional shock and trauma made a lot of sense. "As a victim," he stated as he turned to look at him Clark's eyes seemed to have very blue highlights in with the green just then.

No yes or no. Lex just couldn't manage that. His fingers lingered on the handle inside the door, ready to pop it and get out as soon as he could. But he had to undo his seatbelt, first. "So I'm getting dropped from the case."

"Jesus. Lex... I.." Clark genuinely didn't know what to say. "Your work colleagues, they're all good people. They'll back you on this."

He popped the door open, then started to stand up, which was prompting for Clark to get out, too. "Doesn't matter. You can't shake off something like that. Thanks... for driving me home."

Clark nodded doing the same. He was quiet a moment, chewing on his lip as he got out. "Lex? You do know it wasn't your fault right? What happened to you?"

Lex waited for Clark to lock the car, then moved towards him to retrieve his keys. "There's a crime in silence. Thanks. I'm going to run up and call a taxi for you, okay?"

"Don't worry about it Lex, I'll walk a few blocks. I need to clear my head before going back." Clark handed him back the keys and then on impulse pulled out one of his business cards. "I know you don't let people get close, but this is going to be a pretty tough time for you, and sometimes it's easier to talk to people who are relative strangers. If you want to, I don't know... talk. Need someone there, just call. Any time."

Lex took the card, glanced at it before he pocketed it. At least Clark wasn't going to follow him to his apartment door. At least he'd keep that sanctity safe. "Thanks. I was going to call you anyway, about contacting your father." A faint gesture of a wave, and he stepped back to head into the main building.

Clark stood and watched him, the color of his eyes shifting to a deep stormy blue as his mind turned over what might have been done to this man -- who despite everything had managed to do great things. He needed desperately to be able to fix things and the anger at his own frustration deepened the color of his eyes to the startling Superman blue that had become his alter ego's trademark.

But what good was Superman here? What good was he for these crimes wrought of silence? Anyone who doubted the necessity for the police authorities when the city sported such a 'superhero' need look no further than this case.

And he would rail against himself if it would get the public to see this simple fact. Everyone had a responsibility to justice, and people like Lex had been failed by all of them. He wouldn't let that happen again.

* * *

He kept the blinds drawn when he was sleeping. It wasn't a day for sleeping in his bed, no. It was a day for dragging his sleeping bag out to the sofa, cocooning himself in flannel pajamas, a fleece blanket, and a half-zipped sleeping bag. He left the American Movie Channel on, volume low, the old classics playing as quiet background noise. His half-eaten sandwich was on a plate on the end table, the ham and cheese that he'd grilled just a little too burnt to finish.

It was like that that Lex dozed, comfortable and safe. Until there was a knock on his door.

When there was no immediate response, it rather swiftly became something just shy of a thump, and then eventually Lex's cell began playing his father's ring tone.

The phone was on the end-table, and it took Lex a moment to get out of his huddle to flip it open. "Mm, Luthor speaking."

~"Lex, open your damn door."~ His father sounded none too pleased with him. ~"Immediately."~

"Jesus, it's the middle of the day. I'm sleeping," he muttered as he sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

~"I assure you, I will not take too much of your... precious time,"~ Lionel replied with a disdainful tone. ~"There are some things I do not wish to say over the phone and as you declined my offer for lunch or dinner, I decided we should speak here."~

"Fine. Just wait a second..." He lurched to his feet, rubbing a hand over his scalp as he closed the phone. Too blurred and sleepy to really start to stress yet, Lex meandered over to the door and opened it.

Lionel didn't wait for the door to open fully before he pushed his way inside, looking around with great distaste. "Really, Lex," he said as if those two words communicated his disgust. "We need to talk."

Lex wasn't even sure what Lionel was disgusted about; his home was clean, uncluttered. There was just his nest on the sofa, the half-finished sandwich, the TV set that was on with low volume. "What do we need to talk about, Dad?" Lex half-demanded as he stepped back, closing the door.

"They've arrested Dominic," Lionel said staring at him a moment. "Surely whatever drugs you're taking haven't addled your brains to the point that you cannot see the necessity in discussing that?"

"You want to know what I think of that? I think it's great. It's fantastic. I'm not on that case." Lex sat down heavily on the sofa, and covered a yawn with his hand. "The evidence doesn't lie, and it's not my place to say that it is."

"Frankly, Lex, Dominic has been very _foolish_, and I will be truly horrified by any details of his crime." His father was staring at him, his hair still wild and extravagant. "But we don't want any delusions making their way into the situation, do we?"

"Oh no, no delusions are getting into the case. Just evidence," Lex said, looking up at his father with faintly bloodshot eyes. "My supervisor found pictures of me in Dominic's apartment. So I've been pulled from the case. Please, leave me alone about it."

"Evidence is one thing, but... I'm warning you, Lex. I am not letting your resentment of me translate into any extension of these accusations," Lionel said sharply. It was evident that he couldn't imagine that Lex wouldn't try to seize the opportunity and run with it.

"It's not going to happen," Lex muttered as he rubbed at his temple. "If evidence shows up, it's out of my hands. But I'm *not* on that case. And..." He closed his eyes, swallowed. "I can't even imagine that we're having this conversation. Your crony ruined my life."

"What my... crony, as you so aptly describe him, did was totally beyond my knowledge. Your memories are playing you false, Lex." Lionel was suddenly way too close in his personal space.

Lex looked back at his father, just wanting to... scream, something. Anything. "Whatever you say, Dad. I certainly don't remember you telling me to be good and do what Dominic told me. Don't worry. If it's not in photographs, I'm not talking about it. All right? So just leave me the hell alone."

"Your manners as a host leave something to be desired," Lionel said, whirling back towards the door. "It's not likely to be anyone but yourself that would suffer for that. Or your... friends."

He trailed off and then left, shutting the door behind him so he could have the last word. As usual.

His father was a bastard of a human being. Someone who sold his son, and then... somehow made it his fault. Berated him as being at fault.

He wasn't going to get back to sleep after that. It was easier to wrap himself back up in his blanket, close his eyes, and try to not cry.

Clark had asked him whether he knew it wasn't his fault, and rationally he knew he should be able to say that of course he knew it wasn't his fault. His father had sold him, betrayed him, and Senatori and the others had taken his helplessness and used him.

And yet there was a part of him, the part that had taken responsibility for his life and defiantly if brokenly tried to make something of himself that was making amends for some deep fundamental guilt and pain.

It was something. Some sense of control. He'd... he'd had to reclaim himself. He'd had to take control of something. His work, his charities...

It was all about control, and Lex didn't have a lot over much that was important, but he clutched at it. A few more minutes of sitting there, and he gave up, got to his feet, and wandered into his toy room.

He didn't even think for a moment that there was anyone who could help him.

Or that would even want to.

* * *

Perry was going to demand explanations. And so was Lois. But Clark was left wondering what exactly he could say to either of them. Except that he was following the case and he'd written his story. Could he tell them about the case? Or just that Dominic had been arrested, what crime, and...

He rather absently did a few rescues on his way to the Daily Planet. He had to report to Perry if nothing else. He could say what was official at the least.

There was a girl found in a dumpster overnight. They're pursuing her killer. And that was it. So it was really better to concentrate on the fantastic article that he'd written. Best smush story ever, right?

Except that when he finally wandered into the office, Lois bolted to her feet and seemed absolutely *fuming*

"Kent, where've you been?! Do you know what's going on?"

"Uh." It was best to plead vagueness if not ignorance. "Maybe?"

He braced himself to weather the storm of her temper.

"The police swooped down on Luthor Towers and escorted out Dominic Senatori -- on what his attorney says is unfounded charges of child abuse. So why haven't you called in already if you were down at the crime lab?!"

"I've spoken to Perry," Clark said evenly. Sometimes the rumor network astounded even him. "He knows about it. And the deal I've made with the CSI team."

"Okay, and that deal is....?" Lois asked as she back stepped towards his desk, still staying in his face as he walked.

"I get to follow the case. Alongside them," Clark replied suppressing a smirk because that would send Lois up the wall. "I was... shadowing the team that found the lead."

"You.... Ah, I *knew* I should've demanded to take that with you!" Lois stomped her foot, then stormed all the way over to her desk, which was right beside his.

"Yeah, well someone didn't want to do smush, and it involved being up all night." Clark sat down a moment. "I need to get something to Perry and check we're not crossing any lines."

"Dammit. At least... tell me if any of them were interesting?"

"All of them." Clark grinned at her. "Did you know Lex Luthor works there?" It was a little cruel of him to drop it into conversations like that but really it was too good an opportunity to miss.

"Lex... Luthor?" Lois stared a little. "The Luthor Family hermit? No. No way. That guy *can't* be working a nightshift, Clark."

"He works there as one of their longest serving and most skillful members," Clark replied. "I was pretty surprised too, but we actually got on okay."

"So... he's not pure evil?" Lois asked a little skeptically as she sat down. "Spill, Kent. I need to know about this."

"He's as far from being what we know as a Luthor as you can imagine," Clark replied. "The guy does the DNA profiling and tech work there, and in his spare time he runs a children's charity, and... uh, an orphanage with Bruce Wayne and a charity for abused women as well. He collects LEGO."

Lois was staring at Clark and it was sort of nice to be on the receiving rather than the giving end of one of those stares. "Wow. I really am having trouble believing this, Clark. This can't be the same party hard wild boy that this newspaper used to be familiar with. The guy dropped off the radar a while ago, and we all just figured he was quietly nursing his cocaine habit."

"He had a life altering experience. He was in a car accident, and nearly died," Clark replied. "That was when he walked away from the Luthor Way. C'mon, you have to agree I'm a pretty good judge of character."

"Maybe a little too soft," Lois ventured. "I really can't believe it. Maybe he saw a sucker coming and... don't you think it's suspicious that Luthor's cronies keep getting off? They've got a Luthor in the crime lab..."

"Hmm. Yeah, aside from the fact that Lex Luthor gets pulled from a case that involves anyone Luthor connected," Clark countered. "He's pulled from the Senatori investigation for that reason I guess. Now that is an exclusive bit of information. The head of department doesn't want the LuthorCorp lawyers to be able to use any hint of improper process."

Lois made a tsking noise. "I envy you, Kent. First big story... don't botch it. And be *well* aware that I'm coming at it from the other side. I will find out what's going on."

"Look, I'll tell you this, though there is no evidence yet," Clark said. "They seemed to believe that it wasn't an isolated thing. That it might be shown to link to something big."

Lois' lips curled. "Don't screw this one up Kent -- that's all I'll warn you. Go on and talk to Perry, he's ready to chew you a new one."

"Why? I sent him the breaking news and told him I would be in as soon as I could?" Clark frowned a little.

"Apparently it wasn't soon enough?" Lois offered with an idle shrug.

"It's never soon enough," Clark replied. "I better go in. If I'm going back in tonight I'm going to have to get some sleep at some point."

"Wish me luck."

"Good luck. While you're shadowing the pros, I'll be digging in the ditches." Was she trying to make him feel *guilty*?

"Well, we cover all angles then," Clark said giving her an unrepentant grin and knocked on Perry's door.

"Kent." Perry didn't seem frothing at the mouth when he looked up at Clark. "Close the door behind you, and sit down. I want to know what I can publish."

Lois did have a tendency to exaggerate sometimes. "I believe we can publish everything bar anything that will impede the investigation Chief," Clark said eagerly. "But there's a lot of speculation around the edges which I know about that we can't publish. The head of the CSI unit seemed to be cooperative, so we could probably get some decent statements from him in time for the morning edition. Bang up some up to date ones. They've taken Lex Luthor off the case."

"It only makes sense, since Senatori was busted in Luthor Towers. Trying to keep it a tight case?" Perry suggested. "This is your shot, Clark. Follow it well, and I can guarantee you that you won't be fetching coffee for Lois anymore. You're a good writer, and you can go places if you try."

"I intend to, sir." He shifted slightly. "Off the record sir? It's going to be huge, and it's going to get very messy. Lionel Luthor called Lex almost immediately to harass Lex over it. No one there thinks it's an isolated incident and that means... well, maybe LuthorCorp is involved."

Perry sucked in a slow breath. "Right. If there's chance that those bastards can finally get nailed..." He'd never been ashamed of his hatred of Lionel Luthor, and seemed ambivalent towards the younger Luthors. "Why don't you give me your article on the unit, Kent."

"Here's the hard copy, Chief," Clark said, passing it over. "And I just forwarded you the electronic version as I came in."

"Fantastic. Now..." Perry cleared his throat a little. "I want you on this Lex Luthor like white on rice. Got me?"

"I'm getting closer to him. I think you'll be surprised, Chief," Clark said. "He's not like the other Luthors. Chloe called him the White Sheep of the Luthor family. So far, that's a pretty fair assessment."

"Uh-huh." Perry gave Clark a skeptical glance. "Look. You know the stories about Lucas Luthor? The rumors of drugs, wild sex parties, all of that? We had those stories *confirmed*, with hard witnesses when Lex Luthor was a kid. So maybe he's off the wagon, but I'd still keep an eye on him. If you broke some sort of corruption scandal within the CSI... that'd be fantastic."

"And if I broke Lionel Luthor as mastermind of a child pornography ring, how would that stand up?"

His editor sucked in a slow breath. "Well. That'd stand up pretty damn well, Kent. Is this... what your intuition tells you is going on?"

"That's considerably more likely than the corruption business Chief. It's why they're being so cautious. You'll be lucky to get anything out of them officially on this. But yeah, that's what they're aiming for. A big target," Clark leaned forward as he said so. "You're right, Lex is involved somehow, but I think more as a victim than anything else."

His eyebrows went up a little but he didn't backpedal. "Well. Stay on him, Kent. Go on, get out of my office. I have to edit this now."

Clark grinned a little. Maybe now, he could get a couple of hours sleep or something and then get a patrol in before his next visit to CSI. "I won't let you down, Chief."

"I trust you won't. But you look like hell, so go home. You need to be fresh for tonight."

"I will be," he said and with a smile headed out of the door. A big story, one that would make a difference and it was all his.

Not Lois's, no, but finally his. He had a lot of stories planned, including the one where he... railed against himself. Lois wouldn't appreciate that, but people needed to know that he couldn't be there to fix every ill in the world. Sometimes he had to sleep. Or drive people home.

Who knew, one day he might even have a life of his own.

* * *

There wasn't going to be an easy way to do this, and Winters was aware that there should be no easy way to look at this sort of problem. The time when he could look at this sort of evidence and find it 'easy' was the time he should be packing in the whole thing. He respected Lex, he liked him and so many of the idiosyncrasies that he had worked around and noted, now became starkly obvious in their origin.

The man's apparent hatred of being touched unless he initiated it himself. His obsessive behavior about food and drink -- there was enough detail on the glossy prints in front of him to make out the dilated pupils that indicated drugs. His involvement in children's charities, the relaxants. Jesus.

He looked at the pictures again numbly, even as he waited for Lex to come to his office.

It took a while; Lex was running a little late, which just wasn't like him, and when he came in, he looked tired and ragged instead of his usual refreshed self.

Too little sleep hadn't helped the situation. Lex had tried a hot shower to soothe his nerves, but that had only made him sleepier. A quick coffee shop latte on his way in was helping, and he nursed it as he walked towards what he suspected was his doom. He didn't stop to talk, didn't look at any of his coworkers. Didn't want to.

His fingers were a little sore from clicking too many tiny plastic bricks together.

"Lex, my office?" Winters called out even as he entered. "Need to talk to you."

"I know." He took a sip from the edge of his plastic topped cup, and veered a little to head directly to Winters' office. At least it wasn't the interrogation room. That was something. Then it would've meant that people were walking past him, staring, wondering what the fuck *he'd* done.

That was undoubtedly why Winters was doing it this way. The older man closed the door securely behind him and closed the blinds which everyone knew was code for 'Enter only if the place is on fire'.

"Take a seat Lex. I asked for permission to get your statement personally," he said as he returned to his chair. "I'll be doing it by the book."

"Great." Lex sat down across from Winters. By the book could be pretty harsh, pretty cold. Everyone knew it, but Lex... didn't care. Couldn't care about much. He'd kept it secret for so long, and now it was out there. And his father was threatening him. The urge to just... kill the man was overwhelming, except Lex didn't do that. Lex didn't kill, didn't hurt people, didn't cause other people harm. He just wanted to be left alone.

"Okay, then," Winters turned on the tape recorder rapidly giving the preliminaries of date and time and relevant investigation. "… Head of Metropolis CSI, Frederick Winters interviewing CSI DNA specialist, Alexander J. Luthor, known as Lex." He cleared his throat. "Lex, these are the photographs recovered from Dominic Senatori's apartment. Please can you tell me if you recognize them?"

"Yes, sir, I recognize them." If Winters was going to play by the book, so was Lex. He was going to answer only the question asked, no embellishments. If he did any of that, he knew he'd crack, and it'd all tumble out.

"For the record, the photographs are those in Evidence packs 13 through 17," Winters said clinically. "Lex, please take the first pack and identify who is in the photographs if you can."

His stomach was sinking fast as he reached for the manilla-paper envelope, and undid the fastener to dump it out into his hand. A thick stack of glossy eight by tens, that he hardly needed to leaf through. Or hardly could because his hands were shaking. "That's me. At age eight."

"You're sure about that?" Winters asked leaning forward. There was a considerable difference in appearance, not the least of it being the child's thick, vibrant red hair. But he had recognized them on the scene, because the eyes were the same even before he had reached the other packs. But procedure had to be followed.

"It was before the meteor strike in... in Smallville." Which he also remembered vividly. Being scared to death on that helicopter ride, but more because he thought he was going to be traded off again. It wasn't just heights that had scared him. And then the sky falling...

"Do you recall the events that lead to these pictures being taken?" Winters asked carefully. "Who was involved?"

He set the pictures down, and cross his arms tightly over his chest, trying to ignore that his own face was staring back at him. "It... I was on holiday from school. And my father was talking to me about money and... the usual shit. And then he told me to be good for Dominic. And we drove over to Dominic's h.... house..." Fuck. He wasn't going to fall apart. Wasn't. "Dad left me at the door, and Dominic pulled me into the house he was renting. He pulled all the blinds. The living room furniture had been pushed to the sides, and he had a tripod in the corner. He... told me to undress, and started to take pictures."

"Had your father told you what was going to happen?" Winters asked frowning slightly as he concentrated.

"No. It wasn't the... first time. It was just the first time there was a camera. Before that, Dominic had always.... touched me." Petted him. Straightened out his curly hair and patted his backside. 'Encouraged' him to sit on his lap whenever he visited Lionel outside of work.

"Did he touch you intimately on that day, or prior to that time?" Winters asked. "I define intimately as anything that the courts could not consider to be accidental or merely 'affectionate'?"

Lex sat there, quietly for a moment, and then quickly flipped through the photographs. He'd been made to look at them a hundred times, maybe more; he knew the order, he knew what was in there. A picture near the back was turned around, shown to Winters. It didn't have the composition of the others, the careful camera work, because the camera man had merely left the camera standing on the tripod, so Lex could suck his cock.

He still remembered how much he'd hated that taste. "Could this be considered 'affectionate'?"

"Not in my interpretation," Winters cleared his throat. "For the record, Lex is indicating a picture from Evidence pack 13 that has the child, indicated to be himself, in the position of oral sex with the man identified as Dominic Senatori. Lex, did this sort of interaction occur prior to this time? If it did do you recall when?"

"No. Not... like that. Before, it would've been... taken as aff.... affection." He laid the picture back into the pile, then turned it face down on the table; he didn't want to see anymore.

"Can you tell me what your reaction was at the time?" Winters asked watching his reactions carefully.

"I was scared. I tried to fight, but he stopped me and told me that I needed to do it." Lex folded his arms over his chest again, almost hugging himself. "Eventually... I started to cry."

"You made it evident that this was not something you wanted?" Winters nodded in satisfaction. "Do you recall if you told him 'No' specifically?"

Lex shrugged tensely. "Not specifically. I said a lot of things. 'No' was probably in there. I was *eight*. I wanted to be at home watching cartoons, not... not having my first... first sexual experience."

"Was it only Dominic Senatori who was present or were there others at this stage?" Winters queried.

"Just Dominic." Lex worked his jaw for a moment, trying to breath slowly, quietly, to calm himself down.

"Are there any details you can recall from this session that might be relevant with the perspective of knowing that what was occurring was illegal? Do you believe it was for his personal gratification?" Winters asked.

Eyes on the edge of the table, Lex shrugged his shoulders. "That was. But later... he'd make me look at the pictures with other people. And then they'd take me home with them to... do things."

"Would you be able to name or recognize any of these people?" Winters asked getting ready to take down direct notes.

"Not many of them. The worst, but..." He sank back into the chair a little, mouth tight. "There were a lot of them. It'd be like picking out people that you'd shaken hands with over your lifetime. You really... only remember the people who've crushed your palm."

"Understood. A bit later I'm going to ask you to make a list of those you can remember, okay?" Winters asked. "Please look in the other evidence packs and confirm the identity of the people in them, and approximate time frames."

"I know what's in them," Lex murmured. "The next one is.... Dominic fucking me. After I lost my hair. Morgan... Morgan Edge was behind the camera. Then it's Morgan and Dominic, and... they..." He sank down a little more in the chair. "They're both. And the last one is a video. It... They made me watch them all, look at them all."

If he had looked up he would have seen the sympathy in Winters eyes. "Why did they do that, Lex?"

"Because they wanted to be sure... that I knew what I was to them. I was their whore. I made them money." His voice broke on 'whore', and he had to suck in a shaking breath.

"They actually made a point of making you know that?" Winters said keenly.

"Frequently." He bit his bottom lip, eyes locked on the edge of the table. He was shaking, just faintly, vibrating with it; and if he moved, Lex was sure he was going to shatter to pieces. "And it seemed pretty accurate at the time. Not... not many twelve year olds are so well used they can, can take two cocks up their ass at the same time. Or a soda can. I..."

"I... have to ask Lex, because they will claim it -- the events depicted in some of the more extreme photographs were things that happened to you?" Winters asked in a gentle voice. "Not things that could be claimed to have been graphically manipulated?"

"They happened," Lex muttered bitterly. "Children... were harmed in the making of those photographs."

"You personally... and others that you were aware of?" Winters asked.

"Yes. Sometimes there'd... be a party. And more than one kid. Maybe a boy for the ones who wanted that, and a girl for the ones who wanted that. It..." Lex sucked in a quiet breath, closing his eyes tightly for a moment. He wasn't sure he could go on. He'd have to, but he didn't want to.

"Did you know any of them by name? Who they were?" Winters questioned, having to clear his throat..

"I don't know any of them by name. I..." He laughed a little, voice cracking again. "It wasn't a social gathering. It wasn't like we talked. We were the entertainment."

"Easy, Lex, easy," Winters seemed to realize he was pushing a little close to the edge and gave him a moment. "Was your father aware of what went on?"

Yes. Yes, god-dammit, he *knew*. He knew that every time he gave Lex to Dominic he'd come home broken, but... "No. I don't know." Let the evidence speak. He... wasn't evidence. He was just what was left behind, years later.

Winters wasn't stupid. "There must have been physical damage, Lex. Particularly in the later times. How could he be unaware of that?"

Silence from Lex. "We went to the hospital once. And he used to send me in to... explain it myself. The woman did a rape kit on me. I was... twelve. When father went back to see what was taking so long, he... threw a fit. Maybe he knew. I don't know. We never discussed it, so I can't say. You can look at my medical records from when I was eight to when I was thirteen, and see that the injuries were... usually along the same lines." He gave a quiet bark of a laugh, still sinking in on himself in his discomfort. "Once a doctor demanded to know how I was... getting those injuries. I don't know what happened to him. My dad said it was youthful indiscretion, and cucumbers."

"So there is a trail in public medical records -- that's good, Lex," Winters said. "You said before, about you being regarded as making them money -- do you think that your father and Dominic were involved in larger scale abuse as a business?"

"I don't know what to think. I try to not think about it much. When Dominic lost interest in me, I was happy, and turned my back on the whole thing." It wasn't the end of it, of course. He'd wanted... affection. Someone to love him, and had then self-perpetuated it. And done drugs. Neither had filled that hole in for him. Work and the charities came closest, and wasn't that a reason to keep holding it all together? He was doing something for someone.

"Do you believe that it has affected you significantly?" Winters said looking at him.

"I take Diazepam for my nerves. I... can't handle the *idea* of having an intimate relationship with someone. I haven't had sex in thirteen years. I can't ride in a car with someone, I can't eat out... I can't do things normal people can *do* without having a nervous breakdown because of the shit that Dominic did to me."

"Understood." Winters exhaled. "Are you willing to be a witness when the case comes to trial? Or will your condition prevent you from that?"

He sucked in another shaky breath of air. 'Condition' -- it wasn't just one thing, so Lex guessed that Winters meant him. What he was. As a whole. And that was pretty messed up, but it was also pretty true. "I can witness. If I'm needed. But just on the evidence."

"Thank you, Mr. Luthor. If we need more evidence, we will recall you for interview. Interview ends at 10:33 pm." Winters turned off the recorder and sat back with an exhalation. "You okay, Lex? I'm sorry to put you through that..."

"Don't apologize." He shifted, trying to sit more upright, trying to control his face, his motions, everything he could.

"Somebody should," Winters said frankly. " Do you want me to sign you off for the rest of the shift? It doesn't look like you got any rest today at all."

He shook his head a little. "Dad dropped by around... three? Woke me up. I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Your father paid you a visit? I thought he rarely contacted you face to face?" Winters looked concerned.

"He was concerned about Dominic being arrested," Lex murmured.

"Did he make any intimidation tactics, Lex?" His boss was evidently concerned.

"I don't know. Maybe? I was really tired and wasn't really paying any attention."

"You're being evasive, Lex. I can understand why, but..." Winters paused. "Look, I need to know how you want to handle this in the department."

"I don't know." Lex shifted, trying to sit up straighter. "I really... don't know. I'm off the case. The others have... what, already seen it?"

"So far only Adam and Chloe have seen it. I've sworn them to secrecy until I could consult with you. But once it hits a full investigation..." Winters cleared his throat. "Do you want me to call a meeting and let them know or would you rather seal with them on your own terms?"

"I think maybe I should just quit."

"No, Lex." Winters didn't even hesitate in denying that as a possibility. "Why? Do you think they won't understand? Believe me, they will."

"They can't understand." Lex swallowed, looking down at his hands as he tried to calm them in his lap instead of crossing them over his chest. "No one understands. You... you really can't until you've been there. People either... look at you like you're still a victim. Or they just don't know what to do, and things get awkward. Or things get awkward because they think it's your fault. And... and I know that it's not. But I've known about it for, for years. I never, never said anything. If, if I'd done something, that girl..."

"Lex, you were a victim, you had no power to do anything then, and it is part of the symptomology of abuse that speaking out is nigh on impossible," Winters said. "Listen. Most of them have their own stories. Good people don't judge. Just... don't quit, Lex. If you do that, they have already begun to win."

He shook his head, still looking at his hands. Knowing, mentally was one thing, but the mind and the heart didn't usually agree on things. And Lex lived on instinct. It made him happy, it kept him safe... He used his mind for work, but not himself. "I just wanted to forget. I liked how things have been."

"In some ways, I wish that could be the case for your sake," Winters replied gently. "But it's happened, Lex and we have to move forward on it. You have a choice. Stay, and be supported by us, or take time off. I am not going accept your resignation."

He sighed, and shifted the chair back a little. "I'm going to go home. It's the end of the week for me, anyway. So..." Four days off. He could find something to do, somewhere to go. Even if it was just to get out of Metropolis and drive somewhere. Hide somewhere. He had, what? Wednesday, Thur.. shit. Thursday was tomorrow and it was Thanksgiving.

Sometimes Lex wondered where his sense of time went. "I'll be back for my shift on Sunday."

Winters nodded. "Understood Lex. You have plans?"

"No." He wasn't going to lie to his supervisor; at that point, lying would've taken too much effort out of Lex. "I... I've got a friend in Gotham. I might go see him. I don't know."

"You didn't answer me about what you wanted to do about telling the others?" Winters pressed.

"Just... tell them. So they know what's going on. I don't want to explain." He stood up. Maybe he could just turn his back on the years of accomplishment he'd managed. Stop at a club on his way out of town. And just fuck it all up.

"Go back, get some sleep Lex, I'll tell them for you," Winters said, nodding.

"Great. If... you need me? I'll leave my cell on. Just in case." Lex half-mindfully pushed his chair back into place, and turned to leave. Or maybe he wouldn't do that at all. Maybe he was too much of a coward to manage that.

"Thank you, Lex. And when you get back, we'll sort out some counseling for you, as well," Winters said, watching him leave.

Counseling. He *had* a therapist, the perfect therapist, the one who didn't actually give him much advice. And Lex liked that. He liked to be left alone. He'd... put himself back together decently. He functioned. He did things. Most importantly, no one was poking around in his old wounds. "Have a good weekend."

Winters nodded and let him leave, watching him go and obviously preparing himself to tell the rest of the team before rumors ran rife. Lex would come back to everyone knowing what had happened to him.

Assuming he came back.

He wasn't sure what he'd do. Where he'd turn. If his life were one of those old movies, he would've already had someone at his side. Someone who loved him and would fix everything for him. Just... make everything better.

Life wasn't like the movies. But Lex was struck by the urge, as he pulled his car keys out of his pocket and pushed open the doors of the department with one hand, to go home and nurse his wounds over one. Something stupid, like Casablanca. Yeah. And he could go home and not think about what the rest of his 'family' would be doing for Thanksgiving. Or think about how things had *been* before his mom had died. Before Julian. Before...

He wasn't sure there had ever been a *good* before.

No, he was just going to have to deal with this in the same way he had always done. Alone. There had been no one for him then when he most needed it. He could still remember the first time he had realized it was his father who had sold him out. He had never laid a hand on him himself, but Lex had trusted him to protect him, to fix things and he felt the shock of betrayal as keenly as if he had been stabbed and the real Alexander J. Luthor had died and all he was and ever had been since that day was a ghost of someone who had once existed.

A ghost that made the best of his life, but was suddenly very, very tired of it.

* * *

In the end, Lex hadn't even gone home to ruminate over old movies. He'd left the TV to Comedy Central, the volume low, and had wandered out of the living room to gather some things. Reorganizing of the 'nest', so to speak. But it was Lex's idea of emotional comfort, the closest he'd ever gotten to something that actually worked. People didn't work, after all. But a comfortable setup, a constantly available distraction, and something for his hands to fidget with worked for him.

So Lex Luthor sat on the floor, back against his sofa, a half-built erector-set car in front of him, and the TV playing low-taste comedy. And looked for that damn tiny allen wrench. It came as a bit of a shock to hear a knock at the door, especially considering most people in the building would be asleep at this time of night.

Two A.M. was a bad time to hear a knock on the door, and Lex didn't make an exception to that rule just because *he* was a night owl himself. He got up carefully, stepped over his work area, and neared it warily.

He could hear a muttering outside. "Some psychic cat you are... this is probably some little old ladies apartment isn't it? Jesus, look at me, talking to a cat... look I was only trying to catch you so I could ask your owner where he lived..."

There was a mew and a thump.

"Leave my... hey, no, these shoes are _new_!"

Funny. It sounded like Clark out there -- he was supposed to be shadowing the department, not out there tussling with a cat. Lex unlocked his door, and only as he was opening it did it cross his mind that it was a ploy. Possibly. Then it was too late.

It was Clark, and he was coming out second best to Del, the seemingly psychic cat with a shoe fetish. He was attempting to catch the cat even as it was playfully attacking his feet. Then he realized that Lex was watching him as he was bending down nearly tying himself in knots.

"Uh... hi, Lex..."

"Shhh." Lex put a finger to his lips, then stooped down to make a 'c'mere' gesture to that danged cat. Either Del was pretty smart or pretty stupid, but he trotted over, and Lex snagged him. "He must've gotten out."

"Yeah, I noticed." Clark lowered his voice out of deference to the time of night. "I came over, and saw him and thought maybe I could see if Mrs. Templeton was up looking for him, and I could ask which room you were in. But he took off up here and came and sat at the door so... uh, yeah I thought it was worth a shot. Um. Can I come in? I just wanted to ask you something."

Lex held onto the squirming cat, and back stepped -- just far enough to get his keys. Then he stepped out, and locked the door behind him. "We need to get Del back to his home. Then we can talk."

"Okay," Clark seemed willing to do that. "It would probably be better coming from you. She probably wouldn't remember me and I wouldn't want to scare her, but I did really want to find you."

"Don't know why," Lex murmured as he walked down the hall. Mrs. Templeton lived at the far end, on the same floor but opposite of Lex. It wasn't like the cat could've gotten *far*, because no one would've let him in the elevator, and the stairwell doors were usually closed.

"Well I'll tell you why when we are not wandering the halls at night," Clark said walking along side of him. "He was down by the garage door when I came in."

"The garage?" Lex gave the cat a little shake. "Bad Del. No one will feed you if you run away from home."

The cat mewed again and then industriously tried to eat Lex's finger.

"I don't think he was running away. I think he was attacking a paper when I saw him," Clark said with a smile. "It's along here isn't it? I remember roughly."

"Down at the end," Lex agreed quietly. Once he reached her door, he knocked -- gently, and then just a little louder.

"Who is it?" Mrs. Templeton, it appeared, was up despite the hour.

"It's Lex, Mrs. Templeton. One of my friends found Del down near the doors that go to the garage." Lex leaned up to the door, waiting for her to open it so he could give her back her squirming bundle of psychic joy.

The door was opened hastily. "Oh Lex, you're wonderful! I've been so worried about him. I just don't know how he gets out like that. He's been out since yesterday and I don't know what I would do if anything happened to him." She had her robe pulled around her and Del wriggled and jumped down. "Thank you, and your friend."

She peered a little shortsightedly at Clark, as if trying to place him.

Lex smiled a little as he stepped back.. "Glad we could help. Have a good night, ma'am."

"Bless you Lex. Come and have a cup of tea with me some time so I can thank you properly," She said as Del threaded around her ankles purring contentedly, and somewhat smugly. "At least I can get some sleep tonight. You should, too, young man."

That always sort of amused him. "I'll try. Thanks." He turned, and wasn't quite watching where Clark was, and walked into him. That was, Lex decided, a pretty stupid moment.

Clark automatically raised his hands to steady him in a semi hold, and heard Mrs. Templeton chuckling behind them as she closed the door as if she had inadvertently stumbled across two young lovers.

"Um... yeah. Sorry," Clark said awkwardly.

Lex jerked back a little, and put distance between them. Feet, and then he started to walk away. "C'mon. You're going to have to pardon the mess."

"If you'd seen my place, you wouldn't worry," Clark said striding after him to catch up. "Cleaning up is optional and only for visitors."

It wasn't that there was a 'mess'; Lex did a pretty good job of keeping his place clean. It was just that he was building in the living room, and that pile of erector set bits always seemed messy to him. "I don't have visitors. But since I can't very well talk to you out here..."

"I won't take up much time, I promise," Clark said as he waited for Lex to open the door.

Lex had to unlock it all over again, and he really wished that Clark wasn't standing so close behind him. Or if he was, that he'd just pin Lex up against a wall, warm chest against his back, and...

"It's not like I'm going anywhere."

"Ah, well that's kinda what I'm here to ask you about," Clark went on, unaware of the effect he was having on Lex.

It was probably for the best. That was why Lex didn't sleep with people anymore. He just... fucked things up. Couldn't handle another human being getting that close. He could do *sex*, was pretty sure he could handle that again, but after... Well, after was just like before. There hadn't been a good before, and there wasn't anything Lex had found that he could call a good 'after'.

He finally got his door unlocked, then pushed it open, turning on the hall light as he stepped back to let Clark in. He had a tidy apartment, made of warm colors and rich, soothing fabrics. The sofa was suede-like, warm brown, the walls were another warm shade, the carpet a dark eggplant and soft. The TV set was still on, and Lex's erector set was still where he'd left it, albeit it was now lit. Past the living room, Clark could see the kitchen, and a hallway that led off to another couple of rooms.

"You'll have to excuse me for not guessing what you mean."

Clark closed the door behind him. "They shut down external input on the case until the auditors have gone over Senatori's accounts and he's interrogated. The only thing that needed doing that I could deal with was the autopsy related details. Anyway, the upshot is that my Thanksgiving holiday is back on." He took a deep breath. "And I spoke to Mom and Dad and they've asked me to see if you want to join us for the Holiday. Dad would really like to see you again."

Lex leaned against the arm of his sofa, looking at Clark stand there in the little entryway. "You know how to make an offer, Clark. I... would really like to thank your Dad for what he did for me."

"My Mom would love to have chance to show off her cooking as well," Clark replied smiling at him. "I know it's a bit sudden and... I know you're likely to be a bit uncertain about me. I brought a picture of my Dad so you could check and see for sure that it was the right man. "

He reached in his pocket and handed it over. "I... I don't think you should be alone right now."

The picture was... that was *him*. That was Jonathan, apparently Jonathan Kent, who'd saved him. Saved his life, and... saved him from a fate that Lex had long-since decided was worse than death. "That's him." Lex rubbed his thumb over the picture, looking thoughtful. "When... I went into that guard rail, I remember thinking, 'I'm going to die'. And then I thought, 'Maybe that'll be all right.' I... was at rock bottom, Clark. And it just took a... a few words from your dad to change that."

And maybe he was at rock bottom again. Lex wasn't the best judge of things like that.

"My dad does always seem to have the right words. So does my Mom," Clark replied. "Keep it, I have others. Do you think you want to come?"

"Did Winters send you?" Lex asked as he shifted, standing again to pocket the picture. There weren't any pictures up in the apartment; no photographs, no captured memories.

"No, he gave the department the talk. I didn't say you'd mentioned a little yesterday," Clark replied. "I'd left the message with my parents about it all in general before going in, and then I gave them a call later. They were the ones who suggested it. Winters didn't send me. When I said I might try and get a message to you, the others sent some messages for you as well. If you were asleep I was going to put them and an invitation under the door."

Lex almost smiled. "Work nightshift for enough years, and trying to sleep at night is like a normal person trying to sleep during the day. How, how'd the meeting go? I didn't want to be there." But he still wanted to know how it went. "Why don't you sit down?" He moved a little to brush some of his toys out of the way.

"Thank you." Clark had deliberately waited to be invited, not wanting to ruin things; he waited for a clear patch and then sat. "Yeah. They were pretty shocked. On your behalf. I didn't think Adam could look any grimmer, but he managed it. Ash... Ash, well I thought he was going to pass out or something."

That was a little strange, Lex decided. He shifted, sitting on the carpet, and leaned back on his palms. It was a better position, as far as he was concerned, than sitting stiffly beside Clark on the sofa.

"Why?"

"Well, I think he put it in the note, but he told us in the break room afterwards so..." Clark looked at him. "You know his limp? His scars?"

Lex could almost feel his stomach sinking, but he nodded.

"Not the same as yours, but an abusive father. Pretty much all his life. Not sexual but physical. He said it's why he sometimes has problem with authority and freaks out a bit. Apparently, the end of it was when he tried to run away and his father caught him, and nearly killed him. By the time he woke up and could walk even remotely, he discovered his father was dead. He still can't remember exactly what happened, but he doesn't know what happened to his mother either. He's never seen either of them from that night."

"She probably killed him and left town," Lex said without hesitating. It seemed a probable circumstance. Maybe... maybe the best circumstance, given the situation.

"Mm, that was my thought, but Ash has never been a hundred percent sure that he didn't kill him, and then something happened to his mother. His memory was messed up by the head injury," Clark replied, exhaling in a slight sigh. "Anyway, I think... I'm not sure what he wanted to say, to be honest. Maybe that he understood it a little. That he was sorry. I don't know. You'll have to read his note. It just surprised me. He's been so... well, you know what he's usually like better than I do."

"Ash is hard-nosed about things," Lex murmured, "Because that's how he copes. In general. Thanks for coming by. I wasn't sure what they'd... think." He'd have to read these notes in private, mull over them. Maybe things wouldn't be as bad as he'd thought it would be. Maybe he just needed to step back for a while. "It's already Thanksgiving Day, you know. Not by normal standards, of course, but."

"Will you come? I'd offer to take you, but you'd probably feel more comfortable with your own car there, right?" Clark took that as a dismissal, but smiled down at Lex.

"Usually, yeah." Lex's mouth moved a little, and he stayed where he was on the carpet. "But I don't know the way."

"If you want me to go with you, we could take your car?" Clark perked up at that thought.

"You just want to drive the James Bond car." Mock accusation as he sat up a little. "Yeah. It's a workable plan. Do you want to... come back in a few hours, try to get some sleep, and then head out?"

"Sure." Clark didn't try and push anything like suggesting he stay there. "You won't need to pack much. It's a farm and we have old stuff around."

Lex lifted an eyebrow just a little. "Oh. You mean it's.... longer than just for dinner?"

"Well yeah. I meant the holiday." Clark looked embarrassed. "Um. Sorry, I thought I'd said that a bit clearer. It can be just dinner if you want. Mom's making up the spare room just in case though."

He shifted again, almost restless. Staying at some else's house was something he hadn't ever done for *fun*. "No, that sounds... that sounds great. I was thinking of heading out of town for the weekend, anyway. It'll keep Dad from trying to contact me again."

"Well, I'll tell you something, he'd have a fit if he knew you were at our house," Clark smiled. "Look, they'll understand, I'll understand if you want to duck out early on us okay? I'll get a ride back if you want to come back early. But, I'd better get going. How long do you reckon it will take to drive to Smallville in your car?"

"Two, three hours? Just let me know when you want to start. I'll pop some pills and try to put myself on a normal human schedule," Lex smiled as he started to stand up. "I probably need to put my toys away, too."

"I'll come by around ten, then. Mom usually does the dinner for middle of the afternoon. It takes until the evening to eat it," Clark replied with a genuine smile. "Don't worry, if you need to sleep there in the afternoon, that's fine. Dad does, too. He gets up early for the cows."

He stepped towards the door and smiled tentatively at the other man. "I'll see you then, okay?"

Lex got to his feet, too, still keeping a little distance between himself and Clark. "Yeah. That sounds great." It did, too. Home-cooked food, a place to be for a couple of days that wasn't quiet and lonely...

Maybe things could look up again. "Oh! The notes."

"Oh yeah!" Clark patted his pockets and drew out a selection of envelopes and passed them over. "Here, I'll leave you to read them in peace."

Lex smiled just a little, then reached past Clark to open the door for him. Hopefully the psychic cat wouldn't be lurking outside again to make love to Clark's shoes. "Thanks. I'll see you at ten, Clark."

Clark turned and nodded, smiling his eyes bright and more green than he remembered from before. He was a little too close but instead of leaning forward or doing anything threatening, he withdrew his presence and left Lex in peace.

For a moment, Lex lingered in the doorway, watching him walk away. Strange. Clark Kent... was very strange, and Lex wasn't sure what he was going to do with the guy, but he was sure that he wanted to do *something* with him.

Once the door was closed and locked again, Lex moved to sit where Clark had sat on the sofa. He could probably look over the notes before he put things away, got his alarm clock, and took some sleeping pills. There was still a lingering warmth there, and an unfamiliar scent. He was very aware of those things, more so than most people and though it was strange, it wasn't entirely unpleasant.

He looked at the envelopes, and recognized the hand writing of his colleagues. Every one. Even the ones he would have rated as indifferent to his fate.

Theresa. Adam. Possibly Eddie, but he and Eddie got along pretty well. They were the 'fun' ones of the lab, always active, always doing things. Maybe it was best to start with Chloe's note -- he'd always liked her -- and move from there.

He opened the envelope and scanned over the short note.

'Lex,

I don't know if there are ever going to be words adequate to what I felt when we saw the pictures. The others were bad, but I guess not knowing them personally makes it easier to be objective. When I saw those, I nearly went to pieces. Yeah, me. The one who boasted she could out-tough Adam and Klaus. I don't know what I can do, but I'd do anything to help. You should know that, but sometimes it has to be said right?

'If it helps, I can vouch for Clark, and I hope you do take a break. But, if you don't give me a call and we can meet up and talk or something.

'See you on Sunday -- if not before --

'Chloe'

Short, but... that was more support, more warming thought from a coworker than he'd ever gotten from his own father. Lex read it again, then laid it aside, flattened out. He was going to keep that note, all of them. He worked with... with really good people. And he'd known them all for years. Winters was right in not letting him resign on a whim. He'd never find another job where he got along so well with everyone. And they'd always tolerated his oddities, his occasionally *too* upbeat attitude.

Adam's letter was next.

'Lex,

'You weren't the only one nearly pulled from this case. I was an inch from killing the fucking bastard. If Winters hadn't been there I seriously don't know what I would have done. Your father is a Machiavellian sadistic bastard and I am going to run him into the ground for what he has done. And Senatori is never going to see daylight again. We'll get all of them. Every one of the fuckers, I swear it. And not just because you're one of our own.

'Adam'

He could almost imagine Adam's facial expressions, and it was good to know that someone cared, that they all cared. There were who knew how many people out there, just like him, hurt by Dominic and Morgan. Maybe better, maybe worse. Maybe they didn't have anyone at all, not even coworkers to support them. Maybe some of them had killed themselves. Lex had contemplated it a time or two, but was too much of a coward.

They, the people involved, needed to go down for a *lot* of people. Not just him. They needed to go down for all the people they'd harmed, for that little girl, for... a lot of things.

Lex flattened out Adam's letter, laid it atop of Chloe's, and picked up Ash's.

'Shit, I don't know where to start. I guess it's a common thing right? To think that you're the only one who anything happened to. Because you know no one is ever going to understand. I'm not going to insult you by saying that I understand exactly what happened to you, because what happened to me was different. But perhaps some of the feelings are the same, I don't know.

'My father used to beat the crap out of me. Some of my first memories were of that. I pretty much grew up with it, and we moved around enough that the hospitals I ended up in were pretty different each time. I think I tried to tell someone once, and soon learned that was a really bad idea. I don't think it can be described to someone who hasn't experienced something like it, but there's a feeling, you know? Of betrayal and guilt as if somehow you feel guilty for the betrayal that's happening to you. That somehow you must be responsible for it. I still feel that.

'My father nearly killed me physically when I was nearly 18, and my mother disappeared. Somehow, he got killed on that night and I spent about sixteen days in a coma.

'I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say Lex. I think it might be apologizing in that weird way I feel I have to do sometimes. You know, for anything. Maybe it's just to say you're not alone. Because that's the worst of all isn't it? Growing up and _knowing_ no one could help you.

'Breaks nearly over, gotta get back to work and Kent is leaving. So. Maybe we'll talk or something? I won't be such a smart mouthed shit if we do, I promise.

'Ash'

He was going to have to talk to Ash. Just to... commiserate. Or to let him know that it was probably pretty close. At least, for that feeling of knowing that there wasn't such a thing as help. No matter what you tried. Looking for help just made things worse.

Lex read through the other letters, carefully flattening each one and then taking them all with him when he put his erector set away in the 'toy room'. He'd work on that car more when he came back. He needed to get batteries, anyway.

Eventually, he wandered back into the living room, having changed into pajamas, taken a couple of sleeping pills, and set an alarm clock for eight. He set the alarm on top of the papers, set up his sleeping bag cocoon for the second night in a row, and drifted into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

* * *

For once he was expecting the knock at the door promptly at ten in the morning. He'd even managed to pack and he had found with a sense of mild amazement that the thought of leaving his apartment did not inspire him with cold dread. In fact, he was actually feeling a sense of anticipation which was unusual enough an emotion for him to actually wonder what it was.

It took a minute, and he felt pretty stupid once it had sunk in. Still. The idea of skipping town to Smallville seemed pretty good; he'd called the charities, said he was going to be out of touch for a few days, but his cell was on for absolute emergencies. That knock, eight hours after the first one, was a pretty good sound as far as Lex was concerned.

Until he actually set his suitcase down by the door and then opened it.

It wasn't Clark as he suspected but his father. Again.

"Lex, glad to see you're at least awake and..." He paused a moment. "Were you intending on going somewhere Lex?

Not only was he going somewhere, but he was dressed casually well and was pretty awake. He was going to have to be, just to get through the ride. "Actually, yes. I'm heading out of town for the weekend."

"That's not at all wise," Lionel said frowning at him. "I was coming over to take you to breakfast so we could talk. And it is Thanksgiving after all. Surely family commitments take precedence." It was expected that they would, at least.

Take him to breakfast. Lex hadn't eaten out with his father in years; the last time hadn't been a trade off, but his nerves had twisted themselves so badly that he'd had to throw up and then leave. Why would he want to put himself through that again?

No, it was time to be selfish and think about what was best for him. "Father... I'm sorry that I'm missing Thanksgiving, but I really need to get out of town for a few days."

"Come now, my boy, you and I know that you don't have any real plans don't we?" Lionel reached to take hold of his arm, his voice a marvel of patronizing inflection. "Now why don't I just…"

"..get the hell out his life?" interrupted another voice as Clark loomed suddenly behind him, taking hold of the billionaire's arm and preventing him from touching Lex. "I don't know, Lionel, it's a constant mystery to me how you manage to be exactly where you're not wanted. I notice that hasn't improved any."

Lex cleared his voice a little. "And since the two of you have already met..." All it took was a backwards lean to grab his bags, and Lex closed the door behind him. He'd already shut down and turned off anything, a sign of probably pathetic desperation to get out of there. "I think we should probably go."

Lionel looked horrified. "You cannot *seriously* be going anywhere with... with Kent?!" He drew back to get away from Clark who was glaring with an icy blue gaze at him. "He's a *reporter* Lex! He's after a story, he'll throw you to the wolves! For God's sake son, think it through!"

"I have," Lex murmured as he turned his back to Lionel, to lock the door. "I'd rather not stick around this weekend and play twenty questions about Dominic. Wish Lucas well for me."

"Lex, don't be stupid. Perhaps it's understandable that he's gotten to you, but he's using you. What did he do? Seduce you or something? You usually have more common sense than that!" Lionel tried to push past Clark, who was standing there, blocking the man's progress like a steel bar.

"If you try to touch him again, Mr. Luthor, I might just forget my manners," Clark said, his expression set in one of cold anger. "Now excuse us, we have our own appointment to keep. Lex? You need a hand carrying that?"

"Nah, I've got it." Keys in his pockets, laptop case slung over his shoulder, and one good suitcase. He was set -- except for the fact that he knew Lionel would probably follow them all the way down to the garage. So he turned to really face Lionel, mouth tight. "He hasn't 'gotten' to me, no one has seduced anyone, and to be honest? There's no story in me, so no one's going to waste time on me for that."

"I hate to disillusion you, Lex, but he could well be using you to get back at me. Mr. Kent and I have a rather... involved history." He managed to make it sound sordid. "I'm sure it would be his style to victimize you for the purposes of revenge."

It wasn't true. His father was just... just fucking with him. That was all. Trying to fuck with his head, make him miserable. That was all. Lionel hadn't ever shown him *real* concern, not honest concern, and it didn't seem to be the time to start. "I don't believe you. Good bye."

Clark let him go ahead of him, and then followed him like a bodyguard even as Lionel called out "Lex! Lex, don't be a fool!" even as they took a sharp turn into the elevator.

Clark looked at least as wound up as he was. The reporter had lost all hints of his soft, relaxed body language. And so had Lex. His father had managed to smudge out a good mood as easy as some people snapped their fingers. Lex leaned against the far wall of the elevator, away from Clark, fingers white-knuckled around the handle of his suitcase.

"You okay?" Clark asked as the elevator door closed and they started moving. "Shit, I'm sorry. If I had been here a couple of minutes earlier we wouldn't have had that problem."

"It's okay. He has a way with words..." Lex was half-waiting for his cell phone to start ringing, but he knew for a fact that his cell phone didn't ring in the elevator.

"No kidding. He still gets to me, so I can only imagine what it is like for you," Clark said. "Faster we're away from here, the better."

"I don't even want to know what game he's playing this time," Lex sighed. The elevator finally stopped, and the doors opened into the garage. Lex almost bolted from it, heading towards his parking space. "Where'd you park your car....?"

"Over there, as close to yours as I could get. You want me to drive again?" Clark asked even as he went to grab his own laptop and case from the trunk of his rather beat up looking car.

The red Ford escort, Lex decided, had seen better times. And had maybe once upon a time been washed and waxed, but even that speculation was a dubious one. "Could you? We need to get out of here before my father gets down the elevator..." Even as he said that, he could see the doors opening.

God help him. There wasn't such a thing as shaking Lionel off when Lionel wanted to talk. Probably putting it off was making it worse for him.

Clark held out his hand for the keys to be tossed over and moved with surprising haste, throwing in the luggage and sliding in to the driver's seat. He had the ignition turned even as Lex was sliding into the seat next to him. "You in?"

Lex had been staring like a deer in the headlights for a moment, and that jostled him into doing more than just standing with the door open. He got in, closing the door behind him in the same motion, and hastily buckled his seatbelt. "Drive. Hopefully he won't have vandalized your car while we're gone."

It was like the getaway from the scene of a crime, with Clark almost making the tires screech in their effort to leave. They made it out safe and Clark seemed to relax as soon as they joined mainstream traffic.

"Close one," he exhaled. "You can relax now."

It had to be easy for Clark to say. Lex just settled into his seat, breathing a little unsteadily. "I don't even want to know what he needed to say to me so urgently."

"Maybe he's just trying to get you off balance or something," Clark said and paused for a long moment. "You don't believe any of what he said, do you?"

"I haven't listened to him in years." Lex reached forwards to pop open the glove compartment, and in among with his registration papers, and some maps, there was a bottle of his pills. He desperately needed a couple. "It just... makes me uneasy."

"Still, he obviously upsets you," Clark glanced across at him. "Do you need to take those? Maybe if we talked it would help or something?"

He hadn't even gotten as far as opening the cap, but he still shut the glove compartment, holding onto the bottle. "I don't know. I just... I'm waiting for my cell to ring. And for it to be him."

"Then turn off the phone," Clark said patiently, stating the obvious. "If anyone needs to get you from work or something, they can get hold of me. They know where you are, and Chloe knows my home number as well as my mobile. Remove the source of stress. Talk to me about something. Anything."

Anything. Sure, anything. But the whole reason why he hadn't been at work the night before was looming in front of Lex like a huge awkward elephant. He didn't know what to do, and... that was why he was such a failure when it came to interacting. A little stress, and he froze up entirely. "Okay, you have a point. Let me just... leave a message with Bruce. I told the charities to call my cell if something came up, so..." If he didn't reverse that order somehow, give another option, then he couldn't guiltlessly turn off his cell.

"Sure. It's only a suggestion Lex, you don't have to do what I say," Clark said with a faint smile.

"No, it's a good idea." He just... had explained himself, and wasn't that talking? Lex shifted, leaned back in the seat, to pull his cell out of his pocket and pointedly didn't think. After all, he was fully dressed. Better than fully dressed, he had a knee-length wool coat on. He...

Really needed to stop his brain.

~"Wayne Manor?"~ came the eventual response when he had coordinated himself enough to dial, even though it wasn't too easy to hear over Clark's random humming.

Not Bruce. That made things easier, since Bruce had that way of being frowningly worried about people, things, whatever crossed his mind. "Alfred? Hey, It's Lex. Can you pass a message on to Bruce for me?"

~"Certainly. Master Alexander,"~ the Wayne family retainer replied. ~"Master Bruce has yet to surface this morning."~ There was a hint of amusement in Alfred's tone.

"Can't blame him. This is a god-awful hour to be up... Can you let him know that I'm leaving Metropolis for a few days? And if something comes up, to get my contact information from work? I originally was going to leave my cell on all weekend, but I've got some asshole harassing me..."

~"Of course, Master Alexander. And if I may be so bold, may I inform said asshole where to go if he attempts to contact you through this route?"~ Alfred asked politely.

"Please, feel free. I expect that Wayne Manor will be the first route that he'll take. Have a good weekend, Alfred. And thanks."

~"My pleasure, Master Alexander. Have a pleasant Thanksgiving,"~ the butler said and ended the conversation.

 

Lex flipped his phone closed, and then pressed the 'off' button at the top. To make things a little more final, he tossed it into his glove compartment. "There. Problem solved."

"That's good," Clark said and grinned. "Though if I have to sing to myself all the way back to Smallville, you might be desperate to talk to anyone else."

"You're not allowed to sing. We'll talk. I don't know about what, but we'll talk," Lex grinned loosely, leaning his arm against the edge of the door. If he pretended to be okay, being okay would soon follow.

"Hey, I'll have you know I did a good version of West Side Story. Chloe was in it too..." Clark cleared his throat and then started singing in a very *manly* tone "... I'm pretty, oh so pretty....so pretty and witty and briiiiiiiiiiight...."

"I always liked the movie's lines better." Lex shot him a sideways glance, and grinned a little when he saw the passenger in the car beside them laughing.

"Do we have an audience? Hey, I could do the whole thing!" Clark grinned at him, seemingly unconcerned about making a fool of himself. "Though, it's true, I sucked."

"You have a nice voice. You just... should maybe stick to singing male parts." He turned a little, resting the side of his chin on his palm, elbow against the side of the door. Three hours in the car, passenger side seat.

"Now there's a thought. Is that where I've been going wrong, you think?" Clark asked with affected surprise.

Lex's mouth twitched a little. "Yeah. But I bet you were cute in a poodle skirt."

"Damn, yeah." Clark chuckled some more, unable to quite stop snorting at the mental image. "But we were in farming country. I'll have you know it was a sensible plaid poodle skirt."

"I'm sure you made your mom proud, didn't show too much leg." His mouth twitched a little more.

Fucking absurd? Yes. But it was doing a great job of keeping his mind from contemplating what kind of doom awaited him for *this* visit to Smallville. Maybe the third time really would kill him.

"The stockings were hell," Clark replied still grinning. "Alas, I received no critical acclaim for my performance."

Lex's smile faltered for a bare moment. Stockings... really were hell, even if Clark was joking. Usually his mind didn't pick at him that badly, usually things didn't stand out so starkly. It was all to do with that fucking case. "You were probably *too* good for them, Clark."

"Yeah, that's probably it," Clark said glancing quickly over at him, picking up in the sudden change in heartbeat. "So what were you building last night when I interrupted you?"

Lex stretched one leg out, appreciating the spacious legroom that his car had. "A car. You didn't really interrupt anything. I need to pick up batteries sometime -- the motor won't run without them."

"What other things have you made?" Clark asked curiously.

"Usually I work in LEGOs. A couple of weeks ago I made a squirrel model out of LEGOs." Lex leaned his head back against the headrest, knowing that he was being restless. "And I have a feudal village in draft stage."

"A whole village? What with a castle or something?" Clark sounded impressed. "That's got to be difficult to put together."

"It is, and it's fun." Lex sighed a little. "I've had some people tell me it's probably some strange reclaiming my childhood thing. But it's really just a weird hobby. Everyone has hobbies, right?"

"Yeah. Astronomy. Don't do as much of it now in Metropolis as I would have liked, but Dad liked it too, and I inherited his telescope. Not much light pollution in Smallville and you could get really amazing views," Clark contributed. "And the normal things. Reading, football, comics... that sort of thing."

"What comics?"

"Then or now?" Clark smiled. "Yeah, I still get some. A kid I knew introduced me to Warrior Angel and, well, I got hooked. Usually you say comics and people think of kids things, but they're much more complex than I believed."

"I knew you were a good guy." Lex watched the other man's face for a moment, then looked out onto the road. "I'm a huge Warrior Angel fan. Have been since I was a kid."

"Yeah? I didn't start until I was sixteen. I tried getting hold of some of the earlier editions but there are still a few I haven't tracked them down." Clark said "That thing with Devilicus and the Dark Hand -- I totally missed all that section. They keep referring to it, and I still haven't pieced it together."

"Wow -- the whole section? The Dark Hand was this group that captured Devilicus and sort of... brainwashed him. He shook it off, but there was always doubt about whether he actually had or not. For a while, I don't think the writers were sure or not."

"It that what they are talking about in the defection sequence?" Clark frowned. "Because that seemed pretty out of character to me, and they have Warrior Angel talking about the shadow of the Dark Hand reaching for his friend. I suppose if you look at it in the context of that, it makes sense."

Lex nodded, leaning on his hand a little again. His pill bottle lay loosely onto his lap. "It does, but I don't think it was actually the Dark Hand that had changed Devilicus. It was going on in the background for years up to that point. They had a different approach to fixing things. Devilicus wasn't bad, he just thought that his way was better, more effective."

"Yeah, but I didn't think that Warrior Angel would give up on him just like that you know? Not after everything. I mean, he even faced the forces of Hell alone to bring him back in the Paradise Lost arc." He was proving himself to be a genuine aficionado rather than someone who might have picked up on Lex's interest and tried to bluff it.

A *real* fan of the comics. Lex grinned a little, pleased to have a fellow fan to talk things out with instead of a willing but probably bored victim in the break room.

"He hasn't given up entirely, though, has he? They saved each other's lives in the Deathshakers plot..."

Clark had to agree with that, but within moments he had come up with another query and was secretly pleased that Lex hadn't actually taken any of the pills after all as the never ending conversation continued. Evidently, talking comics was more calming than anyone gave it credit. And he was going to enjoy this -- the last time he had talked about Warrior Angel to anyone, they had talked down to him and practically accused him of ignoring the real world.

Three hours to Smallville was going to *fly* past.

* * *

They were still going at it when they arrived at the farm. Lex had only gone quiet a time or two, and more in actual thought than any sort of painful recollection. He had a bad habit of forgetting those three years that had such bad artwork. "... I still think the fourth stand alone graphic novel was the *best*, despite what you've just said. Yes, it was unadulterated mush, but..." Lex opened the door and stood up once Clark had stopped his car. No accidents. No doom. "Hey, does your little sister like LEGOs?"

"My little sister is a law unto herself," Clark smiled. "Pretty much if I like it, she likes it. Probably so she can beat me at it. So, I'd say yes... and I did like the fourth as well, don't get me wrong. It's just that I think my favorite is seven. When they come back together."

"Fixing things isn't the same as if it never went wrong," Lex noted sagely. "That split, that little fracture is always going to be there." That was almost a little too philosophical for Lex, and he grimaced as he opened the back door. "Well. I figured I should come bearing some sort of housewarming gift."

"You brought LEGO?" Clark asked, amused, and then called out. "Mom! Dad! We're here!"

"Yeah, I…"

"Let's get your stuff inside." Clark said that as he got their luggage out of the back effortlessly, then walked towards the door even as it opened.

"Clark!" Clark's sister hurtled out, letting the door swing shut behind her with a bang. "You're late!"

Clark managed not to rock from the impact. "Good to see you, too, kiddo. I told Mom I wouldn't be here until round about now, so I'm not late."

"You are if I say so," she declared and then hugged him again.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Clark grinned. "Lara, this is my friend Lex. You want to give him a hand while get all this inside?"

"Sure!" Lara bounced off down the steps towards Lex. "Hi!"

She was sweet-faced, and looked a little like Clark in the face -- which was funny to have happen when a kid was adopted. Then again, Jonathan looked a lot like Clark in his own way. That was probably how it had happened. "Hello," Lex greeted as he hefted his bulky laptop bag onto his shoulder, and locked the door. "So, you're Clark's little sister? Lara, right? It's nice to meet you, Lara."

"Nice to meet you, too, Lex," she answered and stuck out her hand politely to shake hands. "I like your name. It goes well with mine."

"Yeah? Actually, my name is Alexander, but I've always been Lex. Is Lara your full name?" It was really wrong that he had such easy, casual conversation with kids but not with people.

"Yes. Lara Emily Kent. Clark calls me LK, or Lucky 'cos I usually call him Cee-Kay, even though Dad tells me off," she said giggling a bit. "Lex is a better name than Alexander. There are lots of people called Alexander and you're the only one I've heard called Lex. Can I help you with stuff?"

"Nope. Your big brother grabbed everything except my laptop case," Lex grinned as he moved towards the door. "So, do you think your mom's going to want help with making dinner?"

"Nah, it's pretty much done. *I* helped set the table. And because there are guests, I did those fancy things with the napkins." She sounded proud of that fact and then smiled up at him. "I hope you like it."

"I'm sure I'll like it." Lex paused a moment, drawing in a deep breath to calm himself down. All he had to do was to... be himself, be sincere, and he'd be okay. And not trip over his own words. That'd help, too. "Your family's good people, and I'm very lucky to be here, visiting."

"Mom says I'm not to bother you too much, so you'll tell me if I bother you, right," Lara said artlessly. "'Cos I get carried away sometimes and forget to be polite and things."

"I'll tell you, and I promise that. I'm not easily bothered. And... I brought you some LEGOs. Don't know if you like them, but..." He finally pulled the door open, ready for whatever it was that was on the other side.

He hoped.

"LEGOs? Way cool!" Lara bounced on in through the door. "Mom! Dad! Lex brought me LEGO!"

A red haired woman turned around. "I hope you said thank you, Lara. Come in Lex, make yourself at home. I'm Martha, Clark and Lara's mother. Clark? You finished putting Lex's things in the guest bedroom?"

"Yeah, Mom, just coming." Clark thundered back down the stairs.

The house was well-lit, warm-toned and pretty welcoming. There were nicknacks on most surfaces, and Lex looked just a little out of place there, even wearing crisp jeans and a purple shirt. He was pretty glad that he hadn't dressed up much at all, suddenly. "Martha. It's a pleasure to meet you, and I want to thank you for letting me come."

"It's our pleasure, Lex," Martha said and again the words sounded genuine. "Jonathan is looking forward to meeting you again. He'll be in, in a moment. Cows need seeing to on Thanksgiving as much as they do any other day."

"That's pretty rude of them," Lex grinned. "Can I go find the guest-room? I want to put my laptop down."

"I'll take you up," Clark said.

"Aw, I was going to!" Lara complained

"My friend, LK," Clark reminded her. "I get to do the honors."

"You can put the juice on the table, sweetheart," Martha said.

"Up here, Lex," Clark gestured to the stairs. "I'll show you your room. Well, my room, but now the guest bedroom."

"So, where're you sleeping?" Lex asked carefully as he moved towards the steps to shadow Clark.

"On the couch, or I'll drag out the bed in my loft," Clark said. "I've learned my lesson about putting a spare bed in Lara's room."

"She doesn't let you sleep?" He almost, almost suggested that Clark just put the spare bed in his room, but he honestly wasn't sure that he'd get any sleep. He'd just hear someone else breathing all night and freak out. Hell, he might do that anyway.

"Pretty much," Clark agreed as they entered the room. "Here we go. A damn sight tidier than it was when I was living in it and with a fair few less comics scattered around, but it's pretty comfortable. The bathroom is just across the hall there if you want a shower or anything."

The walls were still notably full of pinholes from where posters had been stuck up, and here and there was a hint of a star theme. Lex smiled as he tossed his laptop onto the bed, then went to unzip his hefty suitcase. "Thanks. Have I said thanks yet? I... I really don't know what I'd be doing right now. No, actually, I'm lying. I was entertaining the idea of going and doing something pretty stupid until you offered this, Clark. I know you didn't know that, but I appreciate it."

"I wanted to invite you," Clark said frankly. "You don't need to thank me, and if it's helping, then that's great. That's all I want."

"I'm sort of... curious why," Lex told him. He looked over his shoulder at Clark as he pulled the unopened Castle LEGO set out from beneath a folded shirt.

Clark shrugged. "I like you," he said simply.

"That's it...?" Lex's mouth twitched a little as he zipped his bag shut. "I... I like you, too. You're a nice guy."

"There we go. One Mutual Appreciation Society formed," Clark said smiling at him. "Not too hard, was it?"

"No. Not too hard at all. Thanks for keeping me entertained in on the ride, too. I really have an issue with cars, and... I'm really going to have to loan you the Dark Hand arc when we get back." He turned around, presenting the somewhat sizable castle set. That was what had been weighing down his otherwise sensibly packed suitcase.

"When you said 'some LEGO' Lex..." Clark raised his eyebrows as he took it to look at. "Lara is going to love you to pieces."

Lex smiled a little. "I bought it on sale a couple of weeks ago. Pieces to sort out for making big projects, you know? But I don't need it, so..." So, it seemed all right to him. "You can keep it from her until after supper."

"I'll try to," Clark smiled. "Easier said than done with Lara." He looked a little more serious for a moment. "I've hinted to Mom and Dad about some of the stuff going on with you, okay? Not much, just so things aren't uncomfortable. But if you just want to come up here, or sleep... or whatever, they all understand."

Hinted. At least he wouldn't have to explain or make excuses much. That saved him some trouble, right? Right. Lex nodded to himself as he handed the box off to Clark, then moved to head back out. "That's fine. I really think I got enough sleep last night, so. I'll be all right. Might turn in early, but."

"Well usually we eat, then we collapse and then Lara makes us entertain her by playing games," Clark said turning to walk close beside him. "And conversation as well. Nothing fancy, I'm afraid."

He smiled a little at the other man, feeling... maybe too relaxed and light stepped for the moment. "Well, there isn't much that I can say that's in favor of 'fancy', Clark. I turned my back on that."

"Welcome to Smallville, Lex, there's a whole town out there expert in the same thing," Clark said with a grin. "C'mon, I think I heard the door shut. Dad'll be down there."

If fancy meant 'Luthor', then Clark was probably right about the turning back comment. Lex shoved down nervousness as he started down the stairs, hand tight on the hand rail.

He recognized the back of the plaid-clad man in the living room right away.

It was strange how much of an impact that figure had on him. Their encounter hadn't lasted more than a few hours, and yet his shape and appearance was impressed on Lex's memory in vivid colors. Not much had changed about Jonathan Kent in those years. As he turned he could see maybe a few more lines on his face and a few more graying strands in his sandy blond hair, but otherwise he looked exactly the same.

He was smiling up at Lex. "Come on down, son, I'm glad you decided to come."

"Mr. Kent..." Lex cleared his throat when he reached the bottom of the stairs. It was strange, that his throat had suddenly gone tight.

 

It was a little bit of a shock to him to feel the easy warm hug of the other man, even if it was light and not too intrusive. "Lex, it's good to see you. I have to admit, I've often wondered who exactly it was that day on the bridge."

"You weren't the only one. I wanted to thank you, sir, for what you did..." He hugged back, a little hesitant but taking his cues.

"I didn't do much, son," Jonathan said, aware of Clark standing silently, watching them both. "You're the one who's done all the hard work. Clark told us some of the things that you've accomplished. And of course his article is being serialized in the Daily Planet at the moment."

"I didn't know that..." Lex pulled back a little, taking a careful, controlled breath. "I... wouldn't have done anything if you hadn't... jump-started me. It was just a little thing, but it really mattered to me, sir." It always came down to the little things in life. Little gestures, thoughts, words, that made the world a better place. Made it easier for Lex to cope.

"Call me Jonathan." He let go of Lex, patting him on the arm much as he did out of habit with Clark as anything else. "I'm just glad it was meaningful -- although when Clark told me it was Lex Luthor I pulled out of the water, that gave me a bit of a surprise."

"Why...?" Curious question, because Lex wanted to know. "And is there anything I can help out with for dinner...?"

Jonathan turned and smiled at him. "Because it would seem it wasn't the first time that the Kents' saved your life. Even Clark."

Clark looked puzzled. "But I met him for the first time at the CSI lab, Dad. I don't remember meeting him before." Even if he had felt a little familiar in some strange way.

Martha emerged from the kitchen area. "That's because you were too young, sweetheart."

Too young? Lex went a little stiff as he tried to think of what he'd been rescued from before, but couldn't remember. It was a pretty wide swathe of events, a slab of years that it could've come from. He'd be... captive one moment, then safe at home the next. That he couldn't remember wasn't too shocking for Lex.

"I think that I might've been too young, too," he offered warily.

"Day of the meteor showers in Smallville," Jonathan said picking up the pile of plates on the side and taking them over to the set table.

Lara knelt up on the sofa. "Oh! Oh I know this one! It was the day you both fo...got Clark wasn't it?" she said. "When he was really young."

"That's right," Martha agreed, stirring something before turning around. "The truck got tossed and we had to find another one, and... well, let's put it this way, Jonathan, Clark, and I ended up rushing you and your father to the hospital. Clark was mighty taken with you then."

Clark was squinting a little at Lex thoughtfully as if trying to remember. He remembered the softness of skin beneath his fingertips, that was all. Lex found himself squinting back, trying to remember, too. "I... don't really remember it, but my father mentioned that a local family helped us."

"Well apparently it was lucky we got you there in time," Martha said getting out a few bits and pieces. "Lex, dear, would you mind helping me get a few things ready for the table? Clark, can you get some more firewood in so we won't have to go out later? We'll be serving up in a few minutes or so."

Firewood? That was so... country. It made Lex grin as he moved towards the table, waiting for some instruction about what to move. And Martha did instruct, pretty clearly, by just telling him what to grab and put on the table.

In the mean time, Clark had been out and tramping back through with armfuls of wood and a bucket of coal with such ease that Lex began to wonder how much the cheap suit had been concealing his apparent physique. Jonathan was busy sharpening the knife to carve and Lara was generally trying to be helpful and getting in everyone's way.

It was a cacophony of noise and motion, not quite like anything Lex could ever remember being a part of in his life. He didn't mind, either; the plates were already set out, and he eventually found himself watching things come together, watching everyone converge. Not unlike sharks towards chum, except that there was less of a feeling of threat.

It was only the food that was facing a threat.

There was more food than he would have thought possible for anyone to possibly eat. The turkey -- as glistening and golden brown as any cosmetically enhanced advert -- looked like it would feed them all until Christmas. The dishes he had been helping to fill were piled high with vegetables and traditional Thanksgiving fare, stuffing and sweet potatoes. The Kent family obviously took any holiday that involved food very seriously.

"Have a seat, Lex," Martha said. "Lara... Lara, stop that! If you keep trying to steal the turkey, you'll end up with your fingers chopped off when your father carves. Now sit up."

"Aw, Mom!" Lara obeyed reluctantly, even as they all took their places.

Jonathan cleared his throat once he'd cut, then sat down before people could serve themselves. Lex ended up sitting beside Clark, which was a comfortable enough place for him to be at the table. "Clark, would you say grace?"

Clark cleared his throat and began a little self-consciously. "Okay. Thank you Lord, for the food that we are sharing here today, for the health and presence of family and good friends. " He glanced at Lex and smiled. "We appreciate all the gifts we've been given, the strength, the courage to face the challenges you put in our lives. Amen."

Lex wasn't looking at him. Not exactly, and neither did he have his hands folded and his head bowed like the rest of the people there. He was staring at Clark's pants, mulling over both the fabric and wondering what the muscle beneath felt like. It was something to concentrate on, other than the words.

Courage. It didn't take courage to live. Lex didn't have courage.

But there was something he did apparently have which he realized as the chaos of serving food erupted around him. Somewhere, somehow in the last few days he seemed to have acquired a friend.

* * *

Lex's knack for dealing with kids had come in handier than he'd expected it would at the Kent house. He was stuffed after eating way too much turkey, ham and stuffing, along with sweet potatoes and a sprite-cranberry aspic thing. And pie. Cherry and pumpkin, so of course he had to try a little of each.

They'd all sat around and watched some football, which struck Lex as a pretty normal thing to be doing, and eventually Lara had started to demand entertainment. So out had come the LEGOs, and...

It had been exhausting, but only physically. Lex was able to say at the end of the day that it had been an emotional buffer for him, a break from the events at work that had been driving him up a wall.

Lara was like most kids her age; possessed of boundless energy and enthusiasm and seemingly fearless of him. She thought nothing of crawling all over him and Clark, demanding their attention with giggling good humor. Like most eight year olds, when she did run out of energy, it was pretty immediate and she went from grand plans for her LEGO castle to practically asleep on Lex.

It was a rare sign of favor, according to Martha. Clark had helped his Mom put his sister to bed and had come down with some bed clothes announcing his intention to set up his sleeping quarters in the loft.

Lex had offered to help, unsure of what to do, but following gut instinct. After all, he was the reason Clark was apparently going to spend a cold November night out in the 'loft'. So there he was, carrying a few pillows out to the barn, trailing behind Clark.

"Dad made this place for me," Clark said. "As you can tell, the house isn't over-endowed with space so it was my big present one year. When I was ten. He called it my Fortress of Solitude," he grinned at Lex as he turned on the light. "Don't worry, I've slept out here a lot. I made it pretty livable over the years. It was more my space than my room in some ways. Mom would clean in my rooms and I had to keep this place together."

He started up the stairs, tripping the lights and bending down to turn on a powerful looking heater. "There. I have a beat up sofa bed up here."

"Seems like a pretty nice setup," Lex noted as he followed behind Clark. That heater had to be powerful, because as it was, Lex was in his coat, gloves, and wishing he was wearing more than one pair of socks under his shoes. It was *cold*. "Do you need help getting the sofa bed out?"

"That'd be great," Clark said. "Here, this one, not the other couch. That one's for lounging in. Like the chair. Well, like everything -- I did a lot of lounging."

"That's a right of being a teenager, right?" Laying. Often on one's stomach, and... Lex clenched his teeth for the moment, moving cushions off of the sofa bed. He had to keep in the now, keep his thoughts in the now, firmly planted in reality and what was... right then. "So what was it like growing up here?"

"You'd think it would be quiet, wouldn't you?" Clark asked pulling it out. "Out here in the middle of nowhere. No such luck. But most people wouldn't believe it. Chloe ever talk about it?"

"Now and again. It seemed like a pretty wild place. Small-town X-files." Lex stepped back, so he didn't have one of the legs land on his foot.

"Yeah. That's what started us both off in investigation. Funny but I always thought she was the one who would become the reporter, not me," Clark said. "There... hmm, you think it will stand my weight?" He opted for testing it by practically bouncing on the old piece of furniture.

Lex grimaced and caught himself waiting for it to collapse beneath Clark. Except it didn't. It stayed firm, creaked a little, but... He grinned, moved forwards to grab Clark's arm. "Yeah, easy there. It looks like it can take a lot of abuse."

Clark grinned and tugged at him to sit as well, and reached for the pillows. "If it could stand Pete and I bouncing on it... and sometimes his brothers and Chloe too, then I think it can serve as a seat for both of us."

He went stiff for a moment, half-jerked away from Clark before he covered the instinctual gesture by grabbing a pillow. "Uh, guess so."

Clark didn't miss it. "Sorry, Lex, I... keep forgetting. We're naturally a pretty tactile family. You might have noticed that."

"I get the idea that most people are pretty tactile, so... it's all right," Lex shrugged, fingers knotting into the pillow for a moment as he held it. "I haven't really tried to work around my problems other than just... avoiding. Don't apologize."

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Clark said. "You've been having an okay time haven't you? I don't want to spoil it."

The edges of Lex's lips twitched into a faint smile as he shifted the pillow to lean his knee on while he crossed his legs. "I've been having a great time, Clark. Your family is.... great. And your sister's so bright."

"Yeah, she is, isn't she?" Clark grinned. "Mom and Dad were told they would never have a child of their own, which is why they adopted me. And then, out of nowhere, Mom got pregnant. Well, not completely out of nowhere. I assume Dad had something to do with it. "

Another twitch, and Lex finally gave in to a smile. "Yeah. That's how things tend to work out. I had a little brother, but he died of SIDS. And Lucas... well, he showed up after I'd decided to finish my degree. The proverbial heir pulled out of the woodwork."

"I met him," Clark replied after a pause. "He came to Smallville for a while."

Lex sighed as he leaned back against the back, and shifted one leg to stretch out. At least the sofa bed seemed warm, and that heater seemed to be doing its job admirably. "I can only imagine that that was fun. He told me a little of his exploits." Basically a short spurt of trying to see how many people in the town he could fuck.

Clark went a little quiet. "Yeah. He wasn't exactly subtle," he said with a tension in his frame that hadn't been there before. "We, uh... "

"I know my brother. I can guess." Lex's eyes drifted over to the telescope. They were all sluts. His brother wasn't much different than him in that regard, except he was an initiator.

It made his heart sink to think about that, though. Of course, Clark had to have done it sometime with someone, and hey, it was a guy, so maybe that put him in Lex's realm of possibility. But.

"No, no we didn't do... he didn't fuck me, but..." Clark sighed. "He tried pretty damn hard. I made the mistake of being friendly and it just lead to a fraught few months. I hit him a few times trying to get away." He looked obscurely ashamed of that.

"He had it coming," Lex muttered. "I'm sure. You... shouldn't ever feel bad for defending yourself, okay?" he shifted, just to jostle Clark a little. Clark looked better when he was thoughtful or smiling.

Funny. Lex had to wonder when he'd decided that a frown didn't look good on Clark's face.

"I could have easily done him some serious damage if I had really panicked," Clark said. "As it was, he found other ways to continue the long standing Luthor-Kent feud." He smiled at Lex. "Wanna swap sides?"

"What, to the Kent side? Sure, gladly. I... I'm not fond of what's left of my family," Lex sighed. No, that was an understatement. He had a brother who had no sense of conscience, it seemed, and his father... his father who should have protected him when he was a child, and hadn't. Who'd maybe done more than merely failed to protect him, who...

"Well, you've survived a Kent Thanksgiving, so that makes you part Kent at least." Clark looked at him. "They thought I was Lucas for a while, you know that? The missing scion. His mother did at least."

"I would've been okay with it if you had been. You're as nice as Chloe always said you were. I could've handled it better than I handle Lucas." Which was a hands-off mentality, because he literally didn't know what to do with him. Except encourage him to think for himself, but Lucas never seemed prone to like that advice.

"Lucas..." Clark sighed. "I tried to be his friend but he... I guess the term is that he 'played' me. Over and over. I'm kind of stupid about that sort of thing." He shrugged. "But I would have loved a brother. This was before Lara."

"Something tells me that she changed everything?" He wanted to change the topic away from his brutal family, if it were possible for him to do.

"Changed a lot," Clark agreed. "But then I was away at college when she was a couple of years old. I'm glad about that, because I think I would have felt much more guilty about leaving for Met U if I was leaving Mom and Dad alone."

"I wondered about that. She seems pretty young." Not that that was a bad thing. Lex shifted his coat around him, huddling a little, and went on. "It's good that they're making sure she's.... a kid. Most the kids in Metropolis grow up too fast."

"Like you did?" Clark said reaching for the covers on the floor and rather casually draping them around Lex as if it were perfectly natural and obvious thing to do.

Even if Lex was wearing two layers of clothes and a coat, it was appreciated. He shifted his shoulders a little, pulling the blankets closer. It was night, too, and he could use that as an excuse while they sat in the loft and talked. And he could pre-warm the blankets for Clark.

No, that was a little lame of him to think.

"I didn't get a choice. A lot of kids we see in the Children's Foundation try to... emulate adults too soon. They do things they think they're grown up enough for, and put themselves into bad situations. And their parents let them."

"They end up as trying to take responsibility or escape it," Clark agreed, turning to look at him again. "Unless there's someone there to help them."

"Yeah." He gave a faint smile. "It's the most I can do. Try to help kids, and.... pick up the pieces a little. I know what it's like when there isn't anyone to help you."

"I wish... I wish I could have been there to help you, then," Clark said quietly.

"You're twenty-seven, right?" Lex asked, twisting a little to better face Clark as they talked. "You... would've been all of two. And even my most mature friends didn't know what to do with me when I decided that drugs were the best solution ever."

"You shouldn't have been alone," Clark said firmly. "You shouldn't be alone now either, not with all this going on. And you won't be."

As much as Lex wanted to protest that, he... didn't, couldn't. Needed to hear that too much to do something stupid like protest. He just swallowed, looking over towards the telescope again. "Thanks, Clark. Like I said, this... I'm glad I'm here. I think I would've done something pretty stupid if I hadn't come."

"Like what?" Clark felt confident enough to ask that this time, counting on the fact they had been growing more comfortable with each other.

"Well... I was contemplating quitting work after Winters... interviewed me. Then I figured I'd find a bar on the way home and just... see what happened." He shrugged his shoulders, looking a little guilty. "I didn't do it. I went home, played with my toys, and then you showed up."

"You wanted to lose yourself," Clark translated to himself. "I don't blame you. You shouldn't quit Lex, you didn't do anything wrong, not then, not now."

He knew that in his head, but knowing it there, and actually knowing it in his heart, and agreeing with it were two different things. "Fred wouldn't take my resignation, and when he told me as much, he said... pretty much the same thing. It doesn't make... memories any easier to cope with."

"Have you ever really talked about it? I mean, really talked about it with anyone?" Clark asked.

"Would explaining evidence to my boss count?" Lex shook his head a little. "I think I explained it to Bruce. Maybe. Once upon a time. He was pretty badly broken up when we were kids, so going to him for help wasn't the brightest idea I've ever had."

"Did it help at all?" Clark was studying him. "Even a little?"

"He made me go to college, and I listened," Lex suggested. "I just... I don't see the point in talking about it. Never have."

"It's like..." Clark pondered a moment. "When you do your LEGO. When it's all packed away inside, you can do nothing with it. It takes up space, you can't add anything new or make it different until you take it out and look at it and see how it fits together."

"You can sort LEGO out and use it to build things on, too, Clark -- you can't..." He shifted his shoulders, making himself be calm as he went on. Just slow breathing, and he'd be fine. "You can't build on, on what I experienced."

"Yes, you can. You have. Lex, do you have any idea how incredible everything you've done actually is?" Clark asked vehemently. "The charities, your work, everything. Don't you see? You've done everything alone -- just think what you could do if you got the help and support you deserve!"

Lex shifted the blankets, pulling them closer, pulling his legs in to keep them warm, too, even if he was trying not to get the soles of his boots on the blankets. "But it all comes back to apparently talking through my trauma. And I don't want to. It's... even thinking about it much is like taking a knife to myself."

"Maybe one day, if you trust someone enough, you can face that," Clark said softly. "But that's for you to decide, not for it to be forced on you. You've had too much forced on you in your life Lex, for anyone who cared about you to even think about doing that."

"It's not even that simple. Winters didn't want to make me talk about it, I know, but..." Lex shifted a hand, jaw a little tight. "The more evidence, the more chance that Dominic isn't ever leaving jail. I hope we get a lot, because I don't want to have to testify in court. They... There's a lot they could bring up. Even after they left me alone, I've been pretty fucked up."

"The odds are, though, that the physical evidence of this case can track this girl's movements, if your team can identify her. Then it'll tie it back to them. They have hard, incontrovertible evidence, Lex," Clark answered, still watching him and having to remember that reaching to hug him, touch him wouldn't help. Every now and then he would start to do so and then stop before the movement came to anything.

"Yes." A faint motion, and Lex rubbed at one knee beneath the blanket. "So maybe I won't have to come up in court."

"If you do, though," Clark said slowly. "You'll have people around to help you."

Except that didn't mean as much as it should to Lex. Maybe because the feeling of support, of knowing that people wanted to help him, hadn't really sank in yet. It didn't feel real, and because it didn't feel real... Maybe he wasn't feeling the support because of that. "I'm sure it seems like that."

"I promise that's the case. I can guarantee you one person at least," Clark said seriously.

"You?" Lex guessed that, lifting his head a little to look over at Clark.

Clark nodded, giving him a slight smile. "Part of my voluntary duties of our Mutual Appreciation Society."

Sweet. Clark Kent... was sweeter than Chloe had told him he was, almost suspiciously sweet. Lex leaned back a little more against the back of the sofa. "I see. You'll have to forgive me if I'm weird and don't know what to do with it, exactly."

"Nothing really," Clark replied shrugging slightly. "You don't have to do anything."

"Are you sure?" He even lifted an eyebrow at Clark, weakly trying to joke.

He nodded again. "Yeah. No strings."

"No strings." Lex exhaled slowly, pushing down the knot that felt like it was balling up in his chest. "I... it's really hard for me to believe that, Clark, but I want to."

"You think I'm doing this for some reason?" Clark asked, almost gently.

"No, I... I don't. I just haven't gotten to know anyone for a while, because it's.... easier. Not to do it, not to take the risk that it's always been. So." Lex laughed a little. "But you're a good guy."

"And I like Warrior Angel," Clark added grinning at him. "That automatically puts me on the side of righteousness."

"That and your geekyness," Lex agreed, leaning forwards to pull Clark's glasses off of his face. It was nervy, but... The curious part of him wanted to see Clark's reaction. "So just how blind are you?"

Clark looked a little surprised. "Short sighted. I can see things reasonably close." He blinked, his eyes a deep translucent green as he regarded Lex in a quizzical manner.

"Mm." Lex handled the glasses carefully after he'd taken them, turning them. "I wondered, since you seemed to see things pretty keenly at work. I know some people who wear glasses to give other people a certain idea about them. For years, my father used to wear 'glasses' now and then. They were plain glass until a few years ago."

Clark shrugged. "It's a mild prescription. I had an accident when I was younger that temporarily blinded me and since then they get a bit fuzzy when I get tired."

The glasses did have a mild prescription, that was true, but his eyes seemed to ignore the lenses completely. "I can function without them," he admitted. "I don't usually wear them at home."

Lex nodded, then leaned back into Clark to put them back on top of Clark's head, fingers a little shaky as he accidentally brushed Clark's hair. Then he smiled. "You look good either way."

Clark raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you ... uh, are you coming on to me, Lex?" he asked with a smile.

Lex's face colored a little, and he shifted the blankets. "Yeah. Maybe."

"You like me?" Clark asked tilting his head just a little. "Or do you feel you have to?"

Well. Not only was he not doing too well in the smooth and charming department, he wasn't going so hot in the seemingly confident and sane departments. Two strikes in two throws -- not bad. "No, I... I like you. You're a nice guy. You're funny. And pretty brilliant from what I've seen so far."

Clark just looked at him for a long time and smiled very slowly. "I need to get that compliment in writing, Lex. It might just fend off the insecurities when Lois calls me a small town idiot."

It was a gently encouraging response if not the overwhelming one he had hoped for. Easy and faint was something, Lex guessed. Better than a kick in the teeth. He smiled, wide, bright. "I'll put it in writing for you."

Clark laughed and carried on looking at him. "You look... gorgeous when you smile, Lex. When you really mean it."

"Thanks." It was nice to hear, even if he hadn't ever doubted it much. What he doubted was his ability to... not mess things up. They were sitting on a sofa bed, albeit dressed and with blankets, in privacy, and Clark was smiling at him like he belonged in a toothpaste commercial.

He *had* to get out of there before he did something stupid.

Clark seemed to pick up some of his reservation and leaned back. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Lex could feel his smile when it slipped to somewhat sheepish. "No, don't apologize. Please. I was just thinking... that maybe I should go before..." Before he *said* something stupider than what he'd half been wanting to do. There was proof why he didn't get close to people. It was either a complete emotional lock down, or... that. Whatever Lex was doing then. Eyeing Clark and wondering if he should.

Never mind that he still hardly knew the guy.

"Before I make an idiot out of myself."

"In what way?" Clark asked softly. It was so quiet in the loft that the words were barely above the sound of a whisper and it still seemed loud.

Lex turned slowly, to face Clark better in the soft light of the overhead lamp. "Because I only have two speeds -- brakes, and breaking the speed limit. And I do like you. So... trying not to break the sound barrier with how fast I move." For once. It was an instinct that told him that Clark was... good, which ranked for Lex above Clark's other attracting factors of a nice face, and a warm smile.

Clark nodded and smiled at him. "Lex, I want you to know I really like you... and yeah, I mean it that way. I haven't been able to get over the way your eyes looked from the first time you gave me directions to Winters' office. But I also believe really strongly that if it goes further... it should feel real and right to you. You know?"

He knew, cognitively. Like you knew that parents didn't hurt their kids, and most people got along, even if it wasn't really true. Lex moved to get free of the blankets, moving slowly, comfortably, though. He wasn't in a hurry to leave Clark there, but he knew that he should. "Yeah. I know."

Clark watched him in silence for a moment before moving to get up. "I'll keep my promises Lex." He stood and then turned as if the conversation hadn't happened. "C'mon, lets go and get some hot chocolate or something. Mom does this thing with real chocolate that beats any I've tried in Metropolis... you must be cold." He reached out a hand to help him up.

And while Lex's own hands were cold to the touch by then, Clark's were like small furnaces. Lex clutched Clark's hand, and let himself be helped up. "That's not going to wake your sister up, is it?"

"Nah, she usually sleeps really well," Clark said. "And by the time I come out here, it will be all warmed up."

"You're going to have to explain the laws of physics on how you keep an un-insulated barn warm," Lex murmured, still smiling as he let Clark take him out of the loft and back into the barn proper, headed back to the house.

"Straw, lots of it," Clark replied with his best disarming grin. "And a shocking disregard for energy waste."

All in all, it had been a rather surreal encounter and hadn't ended in the way most of Lex's encounters with other people did; in bed with an empty hollow feeling or in an icy withdrawal of the other person unable to tolerate his quirks.

Lex wasn't entirely sure what to make of the situation, since it didn't fit anything that he had experienced to date. His experience told him categorically that people would reject him, abandon him or abuse him once he stepped beyond a certain level of association.

He knew what should have happened. Clark should have taken the opening, he should have pushed it and they would have had sex and he would have _known_ why Clark was being so nice to him because the answer would have been there in the lust and the hollowness of his body, actions underpinning the emptiness of pretty words. If he had been lucky, he might have found it enjoyable -- he was pretty sure it would be -- and otherwise? He could have truthfully said he'd had worse.

But that hadn't happened. And even as they ended back in the small farm kitchen, lightly joking with each other and exchanging smiles, Lex discovered that for the first time in years he was somewhere different in his life.

He wasn't entirely comfortable with this new direction, and yet for all the anxiety, there was the small, strange bud of something unfamiliar coming into existence in his mind. He hadn't experienced it in so long, that the feel of it was unrecognizable to him.

Unnamed and curious, even as Lex sipped his hot chocolate and let a warmth seep back into his bones, small tendrils of hope threaded through his mind, needing only a little encouragement to reemerge from a long painful dormancy.

* * *

He'd never felt so out of place in his life, and he had a long life of feeling like a man who'd been badly green-screened into reality. Ever so faintly out of sync, missing out on sensations that were normal.

And he'd never been so happy to be someplace where he didn't belong. Being in the Kent farm was like visiting the shelter and helping. It was like passing out Christmas gifts to the kids. It felt good, a warm curl of sensation at the bottom of his heart. It was like that to talk with Martha, ask her questions about the farm, to watch Jonathan continue to be a father to his son, and to play with Lara. She was sweet and bright and so... so innocent. She hadn't ever been hurt, and Lex felt protective of her, wanted to keep her safe from things like he'd felt. Like had happened to that poor girl.

She was spoiled shamelessly with his attention and that of older brother, but she managed not to be brattish. Clark seemed to revel in the opportunity to play like a kid again. As he said, younger siblings were a good excuse to do all the really cool things you did as a child. And in Lex's case that meant introducing him to some of them.

So it was that they just *had* to go out to the woods and make their own swing, and fall off of it. That was apparently part of the deal. They had to go down to Crater Lake and skip stones even if it was cold enough to see some ice around the edges. There was something calming about selecting a smooth pebble and feeling the shape of it in his hand and finding the perfect angle to skim his chosen stone.

Probably the most amusement came when Lara decided to take them on one of her imaginary quests and appointed Lex as her Knight Protector. Clark was relegated to being the noble steed.

Lex sort of liked the idea of Clark as a noble steed. Even if he had kept making 'clop clop' noises by doing the coconut gesture. Lara hadn't ever *seen* Monty Python and the Holy Grail, something that Lex just knew he had to rectify.

All in all, it was fun. Even when she tried to get him and Clark to dam up one of the little local streams. He'd spent most of the day outside, playing with the two siblings and enjoying the fresh air. Lex had also been enjoying his comfortable leather gloves, and the dark purple knit hat that was keeping his head warm.

That still didn't keep him from feeling like Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, if Rudolph had been allowed to play reindeer games. He was going to have to hit the local video store and see if he could rent the Holy Grail DVD there.

"You're right about the loft, Clark. It keeps relatively warm."

"Told you," Clark grinned even as he opened the big window to lean out and look over the farm and Smallville. "Especially if you practically sit on top of the heater like that."

"I'm only doing this so my pants will dry out before we go in to help your mother heat up leftovers," Lex assured him, smiling crookedly as he looked at Clark's backside while Clark leaned out the window. Then his eyes drifted up, looking at the back of Clark's ruffled hair, and out to the fields beyond. There certainly was a particular beauty about Smallville. It sort of made him wish he'd stayed.

Except then he would've been a different person. And all the money in the world couldn't make you happy.

"I told you that you'd fall in the stream," Clark said, turning to grin slyly at him. "Never believe Lara when she says, 'Of course it's safe'."

"I knew she was smiling too much." Lex shifted his chair forwards just a little, dragging it over the floor boards. "Hey, do you think the local video store'll be open tomorrow?"

"Probably. We can drive into town and find out. Want to get something?" Clark asked turning his back to the open window for a moment to face Lex.

"Yeah. Your sister *needs* to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail," Lex grinned. "She's old enough to get the jokes..."

Clark chuckled. "Even the bits in the Castle Perilous?"

"Well.... You can cover her eyes while I fast forward," Lex said very seriously. Maybe he could even find a cut version. He'd almost forgot about that part of the movie.

"I'll cough loudly," Clark replied and then frowned a moment turning his head. "I thought I heard..."

"The cows getting restless again?" Clark had let him help feed them, but hadn't let Lex muck the stalls out; Lex had offered very sincerely, but Clark still hadn't let him. Once the smell of freshly turned over muck got to his nose, Lex was pretty glad that Clark hadn't let him.

"No, a car." Clark narrowed his eyes. "I don't believe it. Lois. What's she doing here?" The sound of a car was barely audible.

"What you don't have in eyesight, you more than make up with your hearing," Lex declared as he started to stand up. "You recognize the sound of her car?"

"It's unmistakable."

And fast it seemed. The car was hurtling up the road and turning in at the entrance to the Kent Farm. "Want me to go see what she wants?"

"Maybe she wanted to say hello?" Lex leaned against Clark a little, shoulder to shoulder as he watched the car careen to a stop near his Audi. It was sporty, red, and Lex squinted a little to guess what the model was. Mustang. "Or something came up at work."

"Most likely work. Lois doesn't like missing anything." Clark looked down as the car pulled to a halt and a figure got out. "Hey Lois!" he called out and waved.

"Clark!" She waved back, and started towards the barn. "I'm going to come up!"

Lex stayed close to Clark, silent as he watched her run around to the side and ought of sight. Damn. He wanted to think that she'd leave quickly, but you didn't drive three hours to say hello and then turn back around.

They could hear her come up the steps rapidly. "What brings you to Smallville, Lois? I thought you had to be dragged out of Metropolis kicking and screaming?"

"Very funny, Kent. I just came over here to ask you about..." She stopped near the top of the stairs and too the last couple as if in slow motion. She was staring at him as she turned around, and he could feel his stomach sinking.

"Luthor? *Lex* Luthor? Jesus, Clark, I hope you haven't left this guy alone with your sister."

"... Excuse me?"

"Lois, what are you talking about?" Clark frowned at her. "Lex is here as my guest."

She snorted as she eyed Lex, but Lex cut her off before she could say anything to him. "If you have something to say to me, Mrs. Lane, please. Say it. I'd like to think that as a reporter you're not holding past events against me."

Clark looked at them both. "Why don't we just all sit down a moment? Lois, what's going on?"

She shot Lex a look, and then she shot the folded up Sofa bed a look, the sheets piled up on top of it. "What's going on is that Lillian Luthor Children's Charities is *Lex* Luthor's personal front for a child pornography ring."

Air caught in his chest, halfway to an inhalation, and Lex couldn't move as the words processed through his head. No. No. That, that charity was his life's work, it... It helped kids. Picked up the pieces without asking questions. It did good work, and the best retort Lex could think of, the best defense, was a gasped, "You're crazy!"

Clark looked as if Lois had punched him, startled. There was a moment of shock before he said. "Lois, that's ridiculous."

"It's provable," she sneered. "The Police leaked a partial victim list, and in the past eight years, twenty kids who were molested by the same people that killed that girl, one Dominic Senatori of the LuthorCorp Board and his associates, went through the Lillian Luthor Children Charities system."

"That, that's because we help kids who've been hurt! We get lists from the hospitals, we contact the parents and offer counseling, it..." Lex leaned back against the window sill, one hand clutching at it white knuckled. "It's not *like* that. My God. We try to help kids..."

"Lois, I suggest you stop there, because you don't know all the facts," Clark said sternly and he glanced at Lex, his eyes showing a gleam of blue.

"Then explain why he was taken off of the case? Why not if they didn't suspect something?" Lois said glaring at Lex. "There had to be an organization that 'brokered' these children and the connection is undeniable! Luthor to Luthor. All this cover story about being estranged from his family and not talking to his family -- complete crap, Clark! You've been snowed by him! You and I both know how good the Luthor's are at manipulation."

"If you... if you publish thi... *shit*, Ms. Lane, you'll be ruining years of work. You'll be ruining a reputable charity organization," Lex bit out, breathing a little raggedly. How... did people really think that about him, after all he'd done, after how hard he'd worked to make a life of his own? "I..." He stepped forwards away from the windowsill because his balance felt like it was slipping out from under him and spiraling away. "You have it wrong, Ms. Lane."

"Everything that has been published," and Lois gave him a look, "is perfectly logical based on information received."

Clark was frowning again. "And where did this information come from Lois?"

"Oh, God." Lex sat down on the floor, because it was sit down or fall down. Published. Oh, God. Over nine years, he'd lived in Metropolis and been happy doing good things quietly, and working in the lab, and now it was all falling apart. He could hardly breath as he rubbed a hand over his eyes, trying to get calm again. "Where... where the *fuck* did you get this false information?"

"Sources in the police department," Lois said defensively. "And don't give me that Luthor. You're sick -- coming here, taking advantage of Clark because he's too damn naive to know any better and, God, probably perving over his little sister. Just when I thought that you couldn't go further down in my estimation..."

"Lois." Clark's interruption cut through her tirade effortlessly, with a commanding edge to his voice that seemed totally at odds with his usual amiable tones. "Just shut up. Now."

Lex stayed still, breathing hard. Sources in the police department. The same police department that had pictures of him being used, brutalized, for other people's pleasure. The same police department that he'd testified for and given evidence for. It... He *trusted* them, and that had happened?

"You've ruined me," Lex choked, shifting in on himself. He needed to hide, but it wasn't an option. He needed to just... make everything go away. "I do good things! I, I've worked for the department for years, I spend my, my free time helping people, I, I'm not bad... You printed lies..."

"I printed the story," Lois replied sharply. She had a lot of experience in ignoring Clark. "We have a connection to LuthorCorp. Just not the precise distribution mechanism. It's not a million miles to jump to Lionel Luthor's son as accomplice."

Clark stood and stepped forward, clenching a fist. "When are you going to realize, Lois, that it's not about the story, it's the *people*! Don't you understand what you've done?! You've printed a story without regard for the consequences. It doesn't matter to you, does it, because it's just about true enough to pass a cursory look? The fact that it's fundamentally flawed and *you've* been played hasn't even occurred to you, has it? The fact that Lex is innocent and being made into a victim never even crossed your mind. Why not? Because it's obvious to you, isn't it? He's a Luthor and 'everybody' knows what they're capable of! And you're Lois Lane, not some hack from a small town and no one can play you? Isn't that right?!

"Lois, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're a fucking idiot. You've been played just as much as you always swear I will be."

Lex was willing to bet that her facial expression was priceless. Or, would've been willing to bet it if he'd been capable of lifting his head, of doing more than choke back thick panic. He half-nodded to Clark's words, fighting to make himself get to his feet. He needed... he needed his pills. And to call his lawyers. And to calm down, but that was coming last on his list. "You, you don't have the whole fu... fucking story. You... you bitch. You're just as bad as them." He used the arm of the sofa to pull himself to his feet, shaky. "I need to get my pills. And call my lawyers. Your g-goddamned paper is going to print a, a LARGE retraction."

"I... you don't..." Lois was practically speechless.

"You should have checked with me. This was my story, and you didn't think to talk to me about it did you?" Clark replied glancing over at Lex. "And Lex is my friend, story or not..."

Lois looked at them both. "The evidence shows that..."

"Evidence from a mysterious leak at the police department? Come on, Lois, use your head. You don't get 'gifts' like that out of nowhere. Perry should know better. If he's got any sense he'll print that retraction immediately, before Lex's lawyers make mincemeat of him," Clark said, folding his arms.

"There's no reason to counter it," Lois said a little weakly, trying to force herself back into a position of strength.

"Lex? I haven't passed on that information, though I have it documented." Clark turned to him. "You want me to tell her why?"

"Sure. I, I don't care. Apparently the whole fucking city thinks I'm evil, right? Why not." He shook as he stood, and moved to brush past Lois to get down the stairs. She grabbed his arm and he jerked back sharply, shoving her away. "You want to know why I was taken off the case? Because I'm in those pictures they, they've got. You're the *sick* one, printing up..." He shook his head, and half stumbled down the stairs. "Fuck you. Fuck all of you."

"Wha-?" Twice in one day and Lois was speechless. It was most likely a record.

"Lex, careful," Clark started forward practically ignoring his partner.

"I, I'm fine." He slipped a little, but there was a sense of desperation that kept him going, walking out the barn door and towards the house. He'd felt so comfortable there that he'd even hung his car keys off of the key rack, and that was where they still were. That was what he needed to get his pills and his cell phone.

"Lex... Lex, wait." Clark caught hold of his should gently but firmly. "Listen to me. Go in, go upstairs and I want to come and talk to you as soon as I'm done talking to Lois here. She and I have some unfinished things to clear up. Promise you won't try and leave? Please, Lex?"

Lex should've pulled away, or nodded stiffly. Instead, he hesitated like he wanted to turn into Clark, and then sucked in a breath and nodded. "I, I'm not going to leave. I just want to get my meds and, and call, I need to..."

"Don't call yet. We need to go over what you're willing to tell and how to make this work your way, Lex." Clark didn't argue with him on the pills, even though Lex had miraculously not taken any the entire time he had been at the Kent household. "I'll be in in a few minutes, okay?"

"Yeah." Lex pulled away, hunching into his coat as he walked. He needed to get away, even for a little bit. Even if it was just hiding in the Kent's warm, warm house.

It was funny how things could go from great to horrible like snapping your fingers.

* * *

Clark watched him go, and then turned with uncharacteristic determination towards Lois. His partner had always taken great delight in playing up her own skill against his own self depreciation and now she had tripped up, and then some.

"Lois, I'm going to do an article that essentially refutes anything that the current version of the 'truth' is saying." He wanted to shout, he wanted to lose his temper, but the world wouldn't know what hit it if he really did lose his temper.

"Look, Clark..." Lois eyed him, her expression gently patronizing as she moved towards him. "He's suckered you. You need to think like a reporter, with an objective stance."

"Oh, like you are?" Clark replied sharply. "Were you listening to what he just said, hmm?"

"I listened," Lois said carefully. "But Clark, the evidence... the evidence shows a link. If..." She hesitated for a moment. "People who've been abused often turn around and perpetuate."

"Tell me about the evidence," Clark said, trying to rein in his impatience. "And the source."

"The source is one of the officers on the case," Lois said blandly. "Look, read the article. It speaks for itself, Clark. His charity is a front for this stuff, in one way or another."

"Lois, I took a record of all the charity's dealings and processes prior to this all coming out. There is absolutely no evidence of anything suspect at all in my copy that I lifted," Clark said. "You think I wouldn't have looked into it? If the data has changed, it's been changed since Tuesday night."

"Then why are so many of those kids coming through the Lillian Luthor Children's Charity?" Lois asked a little sharply. "I'll need hardcore proof that he's not involved, and alibis before I believe it."

"Because they specialize in dealing with kids who have undergone the sort of abuse Lex suffered himself -- if you read the charity aims and mission statement, that's obvious," Clark replied tersely. "It's where they are *before* they reach there that's the question. If you cross reference the medical data at the hospital where they were treated, you'll find that the kids were listed as being without a guardian. I'll send you the data. I know you think I'm a trusting fool, Lois, you've made no secret of your opinion on that, but I wish you'd get it into your head that I am not an *incompetent* trusting fool!"

"Give me proof that he wasn't there, Clark and I'll believe it. Until then, I'd keep him away from your kid sister, if I were you." She shifted, looking around the loft. "I just find it hard to believe what you're saying."

"And that is what is being preyed upon. All of Metropolis has a suspicion against the Luthor name regardless of the evidence." Clark shook his head. "You've all just assumed. Hard evidence that he wasn't *where*, Lois?"

"That he wasn't with Dominic Senatori, that he doesn't associate with those people. That's the only way he can clear his name, just *because* all of Metropolis is suspicious," Lois defended. "If he has to come out with fists flailing, that's fine. He'll strengthen his position for it."

"Then I'll write a story that will blow all of them out of the water," Clark said folding his arms. "That Lionel Luthor is involved, I have no doubt. That he's responsible for this sudden appearance of evidence, I have no doubt. Believe me, no one in Lex's department would sell him out, not at any price. He'll damn well come out fighting over this one because... you know something, Lois? I don't think you even realize what sort of damage you've done. You've judged him yourself, found him guilty and practically executed him without any qualms. To be honest? I thought better of you."

She looked back at Clark tiredly -- really... looking convinced that she was right, and that was enough to plant a tiny seed of doubt in Clark's mind. Lois was almost always right, wasn't she? "Clark. You're letting this get the better of you. Look, just let me talk with Luthor and see what he has to say. I came all this way to talk to you, but..."

"No. You're not talking to him. He'll be a wreck after this and I'm not going to put him through more now. He might have already had more than he can take. He came here to get away from pressure. He came here because my Dad saved his life, and the conversation they had gave him the strength to pull away from his father, not for any other ulterior motive."

Even if the evidence seemed to be against him, Clark had a feeling about Lex and wasn't going to turn on him. The sort of reactions he had been giving could not have been faked. If Lex faced Senatori again he probably would have gone catatonic.

"So you just... brought him home for Thanksgiving?" Lois asked, lifting an eyebrow at him as she sat down on the arm of a chair.

"Yes. We discovered the connection in the interview, and he said he'd like to meet my dad again. I offered to arrange for him to come to dinner, and spoke to Mom, and well... they invited him." Clark looked at her, glaring a little. "I'm a good judge of people, Lois. Lex isn't capable of what you're suggesting. I mean that in a very practical, physical way. When the analysis came back on the girl, I found him vomiting uncontrollably in the wastebasket in his office. I had to drive him home because he had to take sedatives."

A faintly thoughtful look crossed her face. "Really? I wonder why...?"

"Because it was Senatori." Clark sighed. "And I've seen the pictures recovered from his apartment and... I've seen the data on the trace evidence recovered on the girl's body. Not even Lex has heard the results of the autopsy yet, and that's going to be difficult for him as well. It... It can't go public yet."

"Case in progress." Lois shrugged. "Clark, I can't un-publish it. It's got to be discussed, the paper just can't look at things from one side."

"I know that, but... if you had just _asked_ me Lois, I could have given you the other side of things. I have several articles ready to send in."

Well, give him thirty seconds and he would.

"You just seem to assume I would have nothing to contribute. Ever." Clark looked away a moment. It was a sore point and usually he was too self-depreciating to raise it as a problem, but it was a growing problem and now it had reached a point of fruition.

"Clark... It's not that I'm discrediting you. I just..." Lois shrugged her shoulders. "Look, can we at least go in?"

"You're not speaking to him," Clark said again. "Courtesy demands that I offer you some hospitality, but if you're thinking about this being some way for you to sneak around me and get to him, you can leave now, Lois."

"No, no! I just... wanted to warn you and get your angle on it, Clark, but... I didn't know he was here, or else I wouldn't have driven three hours to get out here," Lois promised. "I won't say a word to him if he doesn't want me to."

"Then come in," Clark said with a sigh. It was a hard thing to be really and truly disappointed in a friend, and he was disappointed because he just couldn't see how anyone could deliberately cause that sort of pain to another person because it was the 'story'. It was 'a story' not _the_ story. 'The story' was the whole thing, start to finish, built from truth and fleshed out with empathy. He believed in that passionately, not these short cuts. "I'll get my data and you can tell me if you think I'm still an ignorant hick."

"Okay. Sure. I'd appreciate that, Clark." Lois moved to lead the way down from the loft. "So, uh... I guess you're going to run off and see how he is?"

"Yes." There had been a time when he might have apologized for that, but right now he felt he was doing particularly well to even be remotely civil to Lois. "I made a promise to him. I intend to keep it."

"Okay. Just... keep what I said in mind," she offered a little warily.

And after that, they headed back to the house itself in relative silence.

* * *

The opportunity to actually use his cell phone to call anyone hadn't provided itself yet. He'd gotten it and his pills out of the car, had headed back in, and...

Martha had said something to him, and he'd just cracked. He wasn't sure what had happened, how he'd gone from looking for a glass of water to shaking sharply and starting to cry, but... it had happened.

She'd helped him upstairs, and he'd been sick in the toilet. Hadn't even gotten his pills in him yet.

She'd taken him back to his room, talking in a low soothing voice that he wasn't really hearing, and guided him to the bed to sit there even as she talked to him and he couldn't even focus to listen properly. He felt like everything in him was bleeding away through brittle shards and if he had been coherent enough to do anything rash he probably would have done it.

He did notice the addition of another voice and when Martha left his side. It took a little while to realize it was Clark, and that was only when Clark sat close beside him and he remembered the scent of him. He hadn't been expecting the arm around him either.

His ears felt like they were filled with static, a roar of blood in his ears. Things slipped into his consciousness in chips and blips, and he finally noticed Clark enough to turn into him, starting to let go. It was all pent up, needed to get out. How dare she? How... dare she pick apart his, his life's work?

The arms slipped around him easily, providing a safe zone where he could loose his anger and hurt and years' worth of curdled emotion. He couldn't control it. Couldn't control his runaway emotions, couldn't calm down. It just escalated, until he was shaking and exhausted against Clark. And he still didn't feel better.

But he was starting to make out some of the words being murmured to him. "Shush, it's okay, we'll find a way to fix it, I promise. We can fight this, get the truth out, don't worry. It's not destroyed..."

"It, it is..." His voice was a bare, cracked whisper against Clark's chest. "I don't know what I'll do, I... Everyone's going to, to... to think that it's true...." He clung, hands tight on whatever parts of Clark he could get.

"Not when I'm done. Not when we turn the tables. I'll write a damn Pulitzer if I have to." Clark rocked him closer, holding tight to Lex. "I've got Lois reassessing the data. I swear, Lex, we're going to kick back hard. Before we get back, there'll be an article that starts to mend this."

He tried to say something else, and choked a sob against Clark. "Does, does every... everyone think I'm like that?"

"There will be many that will judge, but those who know you won't," Clark said with blunt honesty, even as he stroked a comforting hand down Lex's back. "I'm so sorry, Lex, I should have... done something. Stopped this."

A shudder wracked Lex, but he leaned into Clark more, like he could hide against him. "S-shouldn't... have gone back to Metropolis. Should've gone somewhere else, anywhere else..."

"No, no... you can face this Lex, you can win," Clark encouraged in an intense low voice. "I know you can. You can finish this once and for all -- break free of what they've done."

It wasn't that easy, Lex knew it, but he wanted to believe that it could be. He wanted to believe that things could really be fixed, even... even if they really couldn't. It wasn't the same once things had been snapped as many times as he'd been. Hell, as many times as his reputation had been. So he just kept clinging, trying to calm down, trying to find some measure of comfort in hiding there. "Shouldn't... have to."

"No, you're right, you shouldn't," Clark murmured. "But that's a failing in *them*, not in you. Understand? Not in you."

Sure. Whatever Clark was telling him, it seemed good to nod to, so Lex did. Between the warmth that he was becoming more and more cognizant about, and the faint touches, the warm voice, he was starting to calm down. Concentrate on breathing slowly and he'd be fine. No hyperventilating.

"That's it... that's it, you're safe." Clark murmured things quietly, as if he wasn't sure that he was being heard at all, but trying to communicate the feeling.

It took time. It took longer than Lex would've guessed that it should take, but he finally slackened his grip on Clark, shifting to make himself more comfortable, wiping at his eyes. "Sorry..."

"You don't need to be sorry about anything," Clark replied in a low voice. "There's nothing you need to apologize for."

"I got snot on your flannel?" Lex laughed, more of a choking noise than actual laughter. Lifting his head made it throb, but he couldn't just... hide. Even if it was the most instinctual thing for him to do, and the thing he'd never quite been allowed to do. No, he'd always been sprawled out, stretched out, on sick display for people...

For the kind of people that he was accused of being.

"Good thing it's green," Clark replied, looking directly at him. His eyes were an intense blue, startlingly so as he looked at Lex. "Blend right in." He shifted to support Lex a little more comfortably, his hand warm over the back of Lex's neck as he moved him carefully.

He could've sworn that Clark's eyes were green. Maybe they were and he was just hallucinating. Or he was wrong. Either way, it didn't matter too much. Lex ducked his head down, and sighed against the collar of Clark's shirt. He wasn't going to pay attention to their very strange position, and state of overdress.

They stayed like that for a long time before Clark murmured, "How're you feeling?"

"Sick." The answer cut two ways, and Clark could interpret it as best as he liked.

"Yeah?" Clark probed a little. "In a... I'm going to add color to the plaid way, or in... a different way?"

"Gingerbread cookies taste really bad coming back up." Lex smiled a little blearily, eyes heavy and aching with tiredness as he peeked at Clark from the corner of his vision. "I don't know. Bad. I really... need to make some phone calls."

"Give us chance to get a game plan going," Clark replied. "I can have an article done and to the Planet to hit the presses tomorrow morning. I had the ground work and research done." Never mind that there didn't seem to have been time for him to have done it, Lois didn't have to know he had apparently spent all his time doing everything but write.

"What... game plan?"

"Fixing this," Clark replied, as if it were obvious. "Bringing them to justice. Clearing your name."

They were simple, pure concepts that were unfamiliar to Lex.

"But... how? I need to... need to call, to get lawyers to... I don't know." Lex sighed quietly, shifting almost restlessly. "I want a retraction. It's... it's all lies."

"We find and expose the leak, we find and expose the *real* perpetrators. All of them. You need to speak to Winters, Lex, and discuss what you can reveal at this stage. Make the leak his problem as well," Clark said gravely. "It's best to fight the media with the media. Leave that to me. And Lois... Lois will at least print any facts, even if they contradict a previous theory. She's brutally honest that way, even if she thinks she knows everything."

More nodding, but at least this time Lex could more sincerely agree with what he was nodding to. "Okay... I..." He shifted to try to get off Clark, so he could get to his coat pocket, even if he didn't want to vacate that comfortable position.

"Easy." Clark was treating him as if he were fragile, as if a single touch could hurt him. The odd thing was there was no pity in his expression, only sympathy.

Lex *knew* pity, knew what it looked like. Sympathy made the gesture different, somehow bearable. He accepted the help and shifted back off of Clark and onto the guest bed. From there he could get into his coat and get his phone. "Could you... stay here...?"

"Leeex...? Claaaark?" That was Lara's voice, small and curious from outside in the hallway. "Momma wanted to know if you needed ginger ale and crackers."

"I'll stay. Lex, you want anything?" Clark replied even as he looked to the door. "Hold on a sec, Lar!"

"That sounds okay," Lex assented, pressing the button that would turn his phone back on. "Might get the taste out of my mouth."

"Back in a moment." Clark stepped up to the door and then leaned outside. "That would be great, thanks kiddo. Is... uh... is Lois still downstairs?"

"Yeah. Mom doesn't look happy with her," Lara scowled. "Is Lex gunna be okay?"

"Yes." Clark said that with a surety that could not be questioned -- at least, not questioned by his little sister. "But he's hurt. And he needs help."

Lara's mouth tugged into a frown. "Are you going to help him, CeeKay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am. Every way I can," Clark said looking down at her serious expression. "I think he deserves, it don't you?"

"Uh-huh." Lara smiled a little, and peered past Clark like she could see through the closed door. "I like him. He's cool. So should I get crackers and ginger ale?"

"Yeah, and anything else you think he might like. Keep an eye on Lois for me, will you?"

"I can do that," Lara smiled at him. She didn't know that Lois had set it all off, and it was probably better that way. Part of keeping Lara a kid, instead of letting her grow up too fast. So she ran off, leaving Clark to contemplate what to do, and Lex to contemplate his cell phone.

Never before had the flip phone seemed so daunting to Lex.

Clark reentered the room and watched him a moment. "Who's winning? You or the phone?"

"Phone." Lex sighed, and flicked through the menu to call up Winters. He'd been stalling until Clark had come back into the room.

Clark sat down next to him, watching him dial and listening in. Winters was probably at home. What were the odds of him having his work phone turned on?

~"Winters?"~

High, it seemed.

"It's Lex." He leaned back against the headboard. "I just... found out about the story."

~"I wondered when it might reach you,"~ Winters said, sounding tired and weary as if his holiday time had been anything but a holiday. ~"How are you taking it?"~

"... badly?" Lex suggested with a weak laugh. Shaking, throwing up, crying... Badly summed it up pretty well. He was fine as long as he wasn't really thinking about it.

~"I can imagine that. God,"~ Winters exhaled audibly. ~"That's the last time I trust a reporter. I'm sorry Lex, they've really done a number on you this time. I'm fighting it here, but I think whoever they've got to is quite high up the chain." ~

Lex nodded into the phone, then cleared his throat a little. "It's... it's not Kent's doing. He's been here with... it's a long story. But he invited me home for Thanksgiving. He didn't have anything to do with that... that shit."

~"Oh. Oh, right."~ Winters paused. ~"Right. Lex, at the moment there's a big move to investigate you now, despite all the evidence. It's ridiculous, but it's happened before. The O.J. trial for one. I want to try and play down the media sensation and hype."~

"How?" Lex swallowed. "They can investigate me. I, I don't have anything to hide. Except for my dignity, but..." It wasn't worth much if he was already being smeared as a pedophile.

~"I'm going to have to release some details ahead of time, about the case. I know you must feel shaken, but you must try and come in to work as normal. I have to maintain an appearance of complete confidence in you, and you need to justify that. Understand?"~ Winters knew how to play the games of politics, and for once that was a comfort to Lex. ~"They expect me to roll over on you, Lex, because they want the case to die. We've got a link to three other major names, including your father and I'm willing to bet this is an exercise in scapegoating."~

He had to exhale, slowly, shakily. "Not... not surprised to hear that." He gave a small glance up to Clark, then went back to looking down at his boots. The left one needed a shine. "I'll still.... try to be back on Sunday. It's just... my charity. I can't believe..." That Lois had extended it beyond a mere personal attack, to attacking his work.

~ "If you read the article, Lex, unfortunately it looks all too logical. There does have to be a brokering agency of some description for something of this magnitude to be going on unnoticed. Something that covers things with a veneer of respectability."~ Winters cleared his throat. ~"Your charity fits the criteria. The worst thing is that the databases there were struck by a mystery virus just as the news came out... so we're stuck, unable to prove otherwise."~

Clark cleared his throat and tapped Lex on the arm to get his attention and mouthed the words "I have a copy."

Lex's eyes all but lit up, and he relayed, "Clark has a copy."

~"...a copy? How the..."~ Winters was momentarily speechless. ~"Excellent. Excellent news. That should be enough to vindicate the charity and your connection especially as it was preserved by one of the reporters of the Paper that appeared to be going after you. How did he get it? Why does he have it?"~

"I guess... he was really investigating the story himself?" Lex half suggested, lifting his head a little to look at Clark as he said it.

"Partly. Got the site password from one of the staff. There was a security loophole and I... uh, exploited it. It allowed me access to the web enabled databases so I uh... FTP'd the entire site while I was doing other things, to look over later." Clark replied. "That was on... Wednesday. I guess the same loophole would make it vulnerable to being hacked though.""

"Oh." Lex paused a moment, then leaned his head against the headboard again and closed his eyes. "Clark found a loophole that let him get the databases, and that was probably the one that let the... virus get it."

~"Well at least we have a copy. That will go a long way to shooting this story down. If they'll do that."~ Winters sounded less tired now he had a direction. ~"I've put Klaus on hunting the leak. Adam might have killed someone."~

At that point, would it be so bad? Well. CSI kills leak suspect... Yeah, that was bad. Lex's mouth thinned out. "Okay. What arrests have been made? I've... been relaxing, so I'm out of the loop." Which was bad when the loop was forming around your *neck*.

~"Senatori is sewn up. Your DNA work confirmed it, the sperm condition gave a time of assault and he has no credible alibi. Kieran has pulled out all the stops on the autopsy. It was worse than we thought."~ Winters cleared his throat. ~"I haven't seen Kieran take an autopsy that hard for a long time. Chloe and Adam have evidence linking to Morley of ProTechnic and Richardson of the Rexis Corporation. They've been arrested, and are in questioning. If we get _that_ story out there, it may well overshadow this distraction. We've started fanning out to Morgan Edge and your father."~

He sighed tightly again. "Okay. Do you want me to come back to Metropolis just yet, or...?"

~"I want you at work on Sunday like we agreed,"~ Winters said. ~"Tell Kent that I want that database dump immediately. And if he's planning something, send it to me first. Things are moving fast and if we block this attempt to ruin you, they may try something different."~

"I'll have him email it to you," Lex agreed. "If you need to get a hold of me... Clark, can he just call here? I know my father's going to keep trying my phone. Voicemail is full just from him."

"Yeah, sure. No problem. Or my mobile. I'll send it over." Clark agreed readily enough, leaning in towards the phone so Winters could hear him.

~"Good. And keep that voicemail as well -- just in case."~ Winters said. ~"You're doing better than I thought, Lex."~

He gave a faint laugh, nervous, and switched the phone to the other ear. "You missed me an hour ago. Pills are starting to kick in now."

~"Ah. Look, Lex... you have my full support okay? We've got the checks we run automatically for the department as well, and with this data from Kent, we can refute this. I'm going to make the legal response departmental based okay? We'll respond to it not as if it's a personal attack, but on the basis that they're endangering an investigation. If they don't back down, then we'll get personal lawyers involved. My other phone is going Lex, I'm going to have to go, I'm expecting a call from the big boss so.."~

"Right. I'll let you go. Goodbye, Fred." Lex saved the time of a protracted good-bye, and just closed his phone.

Life went on, right? He still needed to call the charity. Probably call Bruce. Things like that weren't his area of expertise. Wooing money for the foundation, talking with shopkeepers... the groundwork. He liked the groundwork, tangible things.

"Sounded good," Clark said supportively. "He's fighting your corner for you. I guess it's a bit late to apologize for that hack into the charity database, then?"

"I like to believe that most of humanity is natively good, so I'll accept any reasonable explanation for why you did it. Particularly since it's going to end up being... a good thing for me." Through some act of God, he managed to say that serenely.

"You just learn to collect information when it comes up. I went in looking for supporting information," Clark said, looking a little sheepish. "There was no specific agenda."

He nodded when Clark said that, listening intently more to Clark's tone than his words. Clark was... one of the good ones. Good enough to invite a guy he barely knew home with him, good enough to trust Lex with his family. "Okay. That's all I needed to hear."

"So, you going to call anyone else?" Clark asked, consciously keeping his tone gentle.

Yes. No. Lex didn't know. He wanted to take the rest of the pills he was allowed for the day and just slip into a Diazepam induced haze. That was what he wanted to do. "Need to call the Foundation's secretary. And probably Wayne Manor again. Alfred's probably tired of passing shit on for me by now."

"You can hijack my mobile if you want," Clark said. "Do you want me to stay, or should I go and see about sending that database to Winters? Lara's bringing you up some ginger ale and crackers. But if you prefer, I can get my stuff and come upstairs? Only, I'll have to see to Lois at some point."

"As long as I don't have to see her." He wasn't too angry -- sick, a little scared that anyone could suspect him of that, sure. But not angry. "Whatever you want to do, Clark. Really. I... I'm not in much of a state for thinking right now."

"You get a little rest, and I'll come back up later, and stay with you." Clark hesitated a moment. "Would it help if I put out a spare bed in here tonight?"

Lex wanted to say no. Just because the room was small and tight and he had to wonder how a guy as big as Clark lived in it. But... "Could you?" Just because he wasn't sure that *he* could handle being out in the loft.

"You said you wanted me to stay, so yeah. You can just about fit the guest bed down the side here, if you push the other to one side." Clark nodded. "It won't take long and then you won't be alone."

There was a knock at the door and Lara's voice said. "I've got a tray of stuff! Can you open the door, CeeKay?"

"Great." Lex shifted to sit on the edge of the bed instead of leaning back, phone still in hand. He... really needed to make those calls, because he could imagine the situation growing worse and worse with every second.

Clark let in Lara who very carefully brought in the tray and put it down, regarding Lex with an assessing gaze. "Are you okay, Lex?" she asked finally.

He forced himself to smile, and set the phone off to his other side. He could wait a little. The tray had a lot of things that he suspected were on Martha Kent's list of 'food to offer people after they throw up'. because he was *sure* that she had a list like that, having raised two kids on a farm. Saltine crackers, what looked like raspberry ginger ale, and a bowl of dry Cheerios. Thoughtful. "Yeah. I just... got some bad news."

"Don't bother Lex, LK," Clark said hastily.

"I'm not bothering him, I'm just making sure he's okay," Lara said, glaring at her older brother. "It would be *rude* not to. Wouldn't it, Lex?"

"Yeah." He smiled at her again, taking the tray carefully to balance it on his knees, and reaching for the faintly fizzy glass. "Thanks for asking."

She beamed at him as if he had given her a prize, and then nearly ruined the balancing act by giving him a quick hug. "Feel better, Lex!" was declared before she bounced out of the room, happy with her good deed.

He was still smiling crookedly by the time that he lifted the glass to his mouth to take a sip. Ice cold, which was what he needed despite that it was cold outside. "She's a good kid."

"And a great judge of character," Clark replied. "You can rest assured that if she likes you, you're someone really worth liking." He grinned at him as he got up to go to the door. "Don't you forget that."

"I'll try not to," he assured, voice a little wry. The ginger ale was good, and... it was strange to feel pampered after a blow like that. He usually had to fit the pieces back together himself, and he wasn't sure how long that would've taken if he'd been at home. He probably would've gone to sleep on the bathroom floor after throwing up. "I'm going to make those last couple of calls now."

Clark pulled his phone out his pocket and tossed it onto the bed. "Use my phone if you want to. I'll be downstairs hashing things out with Lois, if you need me. Need anything. Just call if you do, you don't have to come down if you don't want."

Lex's mouth twitched a little as he turned his own phone -- the main point of communication people had for finding him -- off, and picked up Clark's while trying to not unseat his tray. "Thanks. I'll be okay now, though."

Clark seemed to take him at his word and after nodding briefly and giving him a bright smile, he disappeared from Lex's sanctuary back down to where Lois was waiting.

* * *

Clark had a bit of a headache from all of this. It hurt to not do anything. He wanted nothing more than to leap into action and save the day. And then he would realize that there was nothing Superman or his abilities could do. Nothing at all. He felt totally powerless, even though he was using every advantage he could. So much for the battle against evil -- it only worked when evil tried to rush up to him and smack him in the face.

Sure, he could save the day in a fist fight or something violent, but... what about things like that? What did he do when the hurt was years old and the enemy was his own partner in reporting?

He peeked into the room after he closed the door behind him, just to see how Lex was doing, and if how he was acting was just a facade to make Clark feel okay leaving him. The faint smile faltered a little once Clark had closed the door, but he seemed content to turn on Clark's phone, occasionally popping a Cheerio into his mouth while he dialed the number.

Lex hung in there, and he'd be okay for as long as it took Clark to talk to Lois.

He had been too angry to really talk before. She had a way of getting to him that he couldn't understand. He'd known Chloe most of his life and yet she never quite managed to jab him so shockingly as Lois had in her first couple of days in Smallville. Things hadn't improved in their years of association, although the fact there was an association apparently revealed he had, in Perry's own words, 'inhuman patience'.

He'd nearly laughed at that. Or would have done if it had been at all funny rather than merely ironic.

Every now and then she stopped dancing along that fine line and dropped over the edge and usually he'd catch her before she would fall.

He sighed before he entered the living room downstairs. Sometimes he really wished he could give up being noble and forgiving. It did nothing for his stress level.

"Lois. How's it going?"

"Pretty awkwardly," she told him candidly. "Your family's out in the kitchen muttering, and I think your dad went to see something about the cows."

"Well, my Mom takes her hospitality seriously," Clark replied, coming over to perch on the edge of a chair and look over her shoulder. "We've been talking to Lex's boss. I have some work to do.... what did you make of my data?"

"Well, it... looks pretty spotless," Lois admitted, looking up at him from the screen of Clark's laptop, which she had balanced on both her knees. "Here, you need to do work? Can you put them on a disk for me? I can transfer them over to... oh, that laptop over there in the case with the swiss-army symbol on it. And keep looking there." There was a faint, wicked gleam in Lois's eyes

"So now you want to hack into Lex's laptop?" Clark sighed. "Lois, can't you ever give it a break? Doesn't the fact it's only by chance that I have a copy of this database that they're going to be able to refute the claims of this mysterious source? You think it's coincidence that the thing got wiped by a virus the day after I took the download?"

"In the world of Luthors, there is no such thing as a coincidence. I still want to peek at his laptop. You can even supervise me, Clark. A look into a laptop is a look into a man's mind," she assured him even as she got up and offered Clark's laptop back to him.

"I'm not comfortable about hacking into it without him knowing," Clark replied uneasily. "I can go ask him."

"Clark, it won't even be hacking," Lois assured firmly. "I'll just boot it up. If there's a password, then you can ask."

Clark sighed. "Fine. I'll take a mirror of the hard drive. After what happened with the database, I don't trust it if they confiscate it for evidence. Someone tampered with that evidence."

"Right. See?" Lois grinned at him as she moved to get the bag. "Someone could plant something on his hard-drive... or, you know. It could already be there."

He had no idea how she did it. How she bounced back from other people's disapproval like that. God knew he thought he'd been harsh and disapproving, and yet she seemed to have no remorse, not feeling for anything beyond the shape of the story. "I'll get my zip drive. If there's a password then I'll go upstairs and I'll tell Lex what I'm doing."

She was already unzipping the case and pulling the Alienware laptop out of the 'seatbelt' that held it securely in its padding. "Sure."

Years of fighting Lionel and the assorted Smallville dangers and Jor-El and reporting in Metropolis had made the shades of gray in the mid-zone of morality a familiar place to Clark, but he didn't like it. He could only mentally justify the action with an intent that would protect or bring a greater good in the end and even then he felt very uncomfortable. He fetched the zip drive, half hoping there was a password so he would have to go talk to Lex about it.

Lois had it running on the sofa beside her, and Clark could see the windows screen come, then go and... then Lex's desktop came up. No passwording at all, which boded well for Lex not hiding bad things on it.

It didn't help that Lois was smirking.

Clark chanted mental mantra to himself of reasons why he must not abuse his powers. Not even when it would be really good to find some way to impress on Lois the importance of integrity and ethics. She sometimes acted as if they were totally alien concepts.

"I would say that's a good sign," he said, trying to ignore the smirk. It wasn't that he *wanted* to be a self righteous bastard, but sometimes Lois could make a hardened criminal look that way by standing next to them.

"God, Clark. Is this guy for real?" Lois asked, gesturing to the wallpaper on the screen. A LEGO motorcycle. She didn't let that stay up for long, though, and went right away to dig into the documents.

"He likes LEGO. I think he finds it... therapeutic," Clark replied with a faint smile. "If you tried to know more than the convenient facts you would understand that he likes to try and build things, make things work, get solutions and answers."

"Uh-huh. That makes him either a really sad thirty something, Clark, or a creepy man who knows kids like LEGO. See, it cuts both ways here." All of the documents were pretty cryptically named -- one word, two words, things like that. Lois hovered the cursor over the choices, trying to find the 'lucky' one as was her habit. "Wow. The guy does a lot of writing."

"There's no crime in writing. Unless it happens to be a libelous article," Clark said, glancing over her shoulder.

"Which that wasn't," Lois pointed out as she double-clicked. "I wrote on the evidence, and the evidence said that your friend upstairs likes to... well." She didn't say anything else because Lara was *just* in the other room, helping Martha make something, from the sound of it. For all Lois knew, it could've been poison-tipped darts for throwing at her head.

"The evidence was a fabrication. It's a fine line." Clark said. That first document appeared to be a fundraiser template with a selection of case study histories attached. Evidently it was pitched at the rich, using a combination of emotive language and logic to make its point. "Nothing wrong with that. Quite the opposite."

"Uh-huh." She scanned over the words, paying them only half a mind while she speed-read. It was obvious to Clark that she didn't want to have time to react to the case-histories that Lex had typed up. "Mmm, it's dated for this coming December. Let's try another one."

"What are you looking for exactly?" Clark asked. He could have read the entire drive as fast as the computer if he had been alone.

"Anything weird. Usually people hiding things on computers hide them in plain sight, but with, say... a cryptic file name."

"Well look for a cryptic file name then," Clark said patiently. "I think you can assume that the CharLett1, 2, 3 and all that are what they say they are."

"Unless one of them is for selling the kids off like hookers," Lois came back at him with. She didn't click one of those. She opened up a dubious looking file called 'dusk'.

That was evidently not a letter. Even a cursory glance at the formatting revealed that it was writing. Clark scanned it, his eyes widening.

'Hope had faded into twilight shadows of a near despair. Devilicus had never realized how hard it was to face the night alone. He thought he had tasted all there was of loss and bitterness, only to find himself gifted with one more flavor to be consumed, before...'

Wait, wait. He _knew_ that. That was a fanfic he had read. A particularly uh, well yeah... hot one, at that. Sweet, powerful and full of angst.

"... Devilicus...?" Lois looked over at Clark, questioningly.

"Warrior Angel comics. This is Warrior Angel fiction." He looked at the pen name and raised his eyebrows. DarkHanded. He knew that name. That was a Big Name in the Warrior Angel fanfic arena. He also appreciated the aptness and irony of the name now in a way he hadn't before. And how exactly could he tell Lois how he knew all this? He could feel himself blushing.

Lois, of course, shot one look at Clark, and then started to scroll down to a midpoint. A few words popped out at Clark -- cock, suck, tonguing -- while Lois cleared her throat. "Okay. Gay Warrior Angel fiction...? So he's not into kiddie porn, just comic book porn and plastic bricks."

"It's... uh... generally pretty romantic Gay Warrior Angel fiction," Clark said nearly cringing as the words came out. "Um. Yeah."

"And you know this because... you're a purveyor of it yourself?" Lois looked like she was going to bust a gut keeping her laughter in, and it would've served her right. "You... Oh, God, Clark. You're a trip."

Clark folded his arms as he did when he was feeling a bit insecure. "Well, yeah. I do."

"Now I understand why you two hit it off so well," Lois winked at him, and scrolled down a little further on the document. "Aren't you supposed to be mailing something to some crime scene guy?"

"Yeah." Clark was definitely flustered. "I'll just do that and finish up on a possible article. You can look it over. Let me know if you find anything, but put the zip drive on to copy while you are doing it."

"Clark, unless that zip drive's a 40 gig, it's not going to cut it," Lois tsked as she closed that file -- finally -- and pulled up another that Clark wasn't sure was any better.

"Hmm." Clark looked at it a moment. "I've got an old hard drive somewhere, maybe we can plug that in? Either that or I'm going to be up burning a lot of DVD's"

"Either or," Lois agreed as she started to read over another file. "Let me know when your little sister's coming? She definitely is too young for these."

"Too young for what?"

Lara was standing behind Lois trying to see and Clark rather hurriedly stepped to intercept her. "Uh, for the material we're looking at for this story, LK."

That of course was exactly the wrong thing to say to a precocious 8 year old. "I am *not* too young!" Lara protested with her hands on her hips.

"Trust me, kiddo, you are," Clark turned to her. "Can you remember where I put the bits of the old computer? In the junk cupboard?"

"Yeah." Lara was sulking a little . "But maybe I'm not *old* enough to get them." Clark looked at her until she relented a bit. "It's not fair; you're always saying I'm not old enough!"

Clark smiled a little. "In this case, kiddo, I don't think I'm really old enough to deal with this sort of stuff. But someone has to."

Lara turned to go and fetch the box and Clark caught the plaintive protest under her breath, "But it's always you."

She could still surprise him even now, even not being sure how much influence the ship's interference had made to her and being ready for differences. So far she was a normal, very bright young girl and Clark found himself hoping to God that she would remain that way. She was a miracle to their family, but he always had to wonder if she'd get to experience the normal childhood that he hadn't.

"She'll thank you when she's older. Or, you know. Sulk about it forever," Lois said, twisting sideways a little so at least she couldn't be snuck up on from behind again. She was on another document, scanning them quicker. "This is real smush, you know that, Clark?"

He flushed again. "Yeah, I know." He busied himself on his own laptop a moment to cover his embarrassment. Romantic, and idealistic. He knew those stories maybe a little too well.

"Okay. Every document so far is something about raising funds, publicizing events, or two men in spandex getting it on. I think it's time to run the search tool to see if there's any deep folders, but..."

"You won't find anything else, Lois," Clark said even as Lara tromped back in, dumped the box, and stomped off, showing her displeasure in the traditional way of children all over the world in a spate of overacting. He rustled around and found the hard drive. "Here we go."

"Great." Lois grinned at him. "Give me the cable and let me reboot."

Clark passed it over, mentally reminding himself he was doing this to protect Lex. He was also aware of the fact that he did need Lois on his side and this was possibly the only way it was going to happen. When she could sneak an answer she was more convinced of it's veracity than any truth offered freely.

Maybe she was like that from long years of reporting prowess. People offered lies a lot, so the only way to know was to verify it behind their backs. Which... hadn't worked out so well for Lex this time. Clark watched for a moment as Lois hooked up the external drive, and rebooted.

"So, you want to tell me about how you're so... familiar with those stories? Or is this just part of some geek mating ritual?"

"Take a wild guess, Lois," Clark said a little wearily. "I'll give you a clue -- there's a reason Chloe gave me a Warrior Angel subscription for my birthday. As for the rest of it..." He shrugged. They'd never made a big deal of his preferences. He was teased frequently about being asexual as opposed to anything else. The truth was that Clark wasn't even sure if he was anything sexual in particular or whether he was purely attracted to the person, because so far his reactions that way had been wildly ranging from male to female with the law of averages just tilting him gay.

"You just happened to be looking for it." Lois's eyebrows went up a little, but her eyes were trained on the screen. "You know, Kent, it's unhealthy to get involved with your story."

"It's how I work," Clark replied, trying to sound casual. That was true enough, he did get to know his stories. He remembered them and that slice of life that he touched but... this was more than a good rapport. He couldn't forget the way Lex had looked at him even from that first moment. He couldn't explain the instinctive trust he had in him when, yeah, perhaps he should have been suspicious. Rationally he should be thinking of that side of things but it was rejected by his mind without even a second thought. "He deserves some help."

"After what I saw in the loft, if what you've said is right... Yeah, some serious mental help." That was Lois's tack to everything. The hard 'let someone else fix it, please' way.

That, he guessed, summed up the difference between him and practically everyone else. When Lois saw something like that, she recognized the need for something to be done, but any aid she would give was through a story. When he saw that sort of thing, he wanted to fix it. Personally. He wanted to move heaven and earth to make things right and somehow he didn't exactly choose to make it his responsibility, but it just hardwired itself into the way he thought and felt in such a way as to make no difference. "I have a great deal of respect for the way he's coped with it. Knowing what he went through, or at least some of it."

"You're being mum on the details, Clark. You want to care to share a little of what he went through?" Lois looked over, seeming to have forgotten that she'd just stopped Lara from seeing a piece of fiction, but didn't seem to phase her that she was asking for Clark to discuss, aloud, something a lot worse.

"Lois, it would seriously turn your stomach. I'm not talking about it here, okay?" Clark said stiffly. "Not where my family is liable to hear. Suffice it to say it was enough to affect the CSI team even after what they've seen in their time working Metropolis."

"Sounds gruesome." Lois smiled, and made sure that the files were moving the way they should, then sat back. "They're moving over as read-only. So, if they're so gruesome... I mean, why's he still alive?"

"Because..." Clark paused, wondering a moment. That was a good question. There were things in the photo evidence that could have been potentially fatal. Did he have some ability to recover, to survive? He had been present at the meteor impact, it was possible that he might heal that way. "...because he's Lionel Luthor's son? Truthfully, I don't know, but I hope to God they're trying to get hold of his medical records before they get compromised too."

"If someone's trying to wipe him out, particularly if it's his father, then he's probably already hit everything he can." And wasn't that a shining, bright thought? No. It couldn't hurt Lois to be a little optimistic every *once* in a while. "I think it's sort of sad. That someone would do that to their kid."

'Sort of sad' was just incredibly inadequate. "It's monstrous, Lois. It's not 'sort of sad', it's as close to evil as I can imagine. Evil starts when you begin to treat people like objects. He used his own son, sold him with full knowledge of what he was doing, to fund his own ambitions. He used him as a possession. That's more than 'sort of sad'."

"Wait, he did all that to Lex to make *money*?" Lois's eyes lit up, and Clark knew immediately that she'd just found a whole new angle for business corruption. "That was used in, what? LuthorCorp?"

"Who sold Mr. Lex?" Lara had wandered back, and was now standing just on the edge of the living room, frowning and holding a mug of cocoa. Martha came up behind her.

Damn. "Look, this isn't the right time to talk about this, Lois," Clark said hastily. "Um, Lara? I don't want you talking about that okay?"

"But I want to *know*." Denial of information was probably the fastest way to get a kid's interest. Martha knew what to do, it seemed, as she steered Lara into the living room to sit down.

"Honey, your brother and... Lois are working to help Lex. When Lex was your age, his father was very mean to him and caused him a lot of pain. You know how I told you to tell me or another adult you trust if someone touches you where they shouldn't?" Martha glanced at both Lois *and* Clark, a warning in her eyes. That it wasn't to be discussed any further where Lara could hear. God, Clark could remember when *he'd* been given the 'bad touching, yell fire' speech by both of his parents. Before they knew that he was super strong and super fast and safe from everything but green rocks and heartache.

Lara nodded even as she regarded them all with an expression that seemed beyond her years. "But... it was his Dad? I don't understand. Dads don't do that. They can't be Dads if they do that."

"I wouldn't call him a good dad," Lois offered

"You're right. No one would call Lionel Luthor a good father, Lara. I'm not sure of all the circumstances, because Lex doesn't like to talk about it, but more than his father was involved. And these people have done the same thing to other children. And now it's being investigated by the police."

"And by Clark. Which means that it will be made better," Lara declared, with complete faith in her older brother's abilities. "He's good at fixing things."

Clark gave a slightly nervous laugh. "Hey, don't forget Lois, too."

Lara sniffed. "'pends if she's stopped being nasty to Lex."

Lois actually looked offended. "Look, I didn't know what was going on when I upset him so badly. It won't happen again." Clark couldn't believe that one comment from his little sister got more of a sign of contrition than his various bouts of shouting and moralizing.

Lara had her hands on her hips. "Good. Because just 'cos you didn't know doesn't mean it didn't hurt. You should apologize. I had to apologize when I broke Gemma's doll even though I didn't know I'd walked on it. But it was her favorite, and she cried, and even though I didn't mean it, she was still hurt. And this is *much* worse than that."

Martha looked immensely proud of Lara, even as she pulled at her shoulder to make her sit down. "Yes, it is. But I don't think Lex wants to hear an apology right now. Why don't you stay here and play one of your video games for a while, while I go see that he's all right?"

"Okay!"

Lara was distracted and Clark breathed a sigh of relief. "Mom, I said I'd put the guest bed in with him tonight okay? If you're going up, maybe you could get out some blankets for me?"

"Of course, sweetheart. Now you and Lois behave yourself. Remember, Lara is keeping an eye on you both," Martha said even as she turned to go upstairs.

Lois was quiet until Martha was out of sight, then leaned over to Clark and whispered. "Guest bed, huh? Why?"

"Because the way he was earlier, I don't want to risk him... doing something stupid when he's left alone," Clark said. "And he asked."

That sucked all the lewdness out of her comment. "Oh. I didn't know that it'd affect him so badly." Lois kept her voice low, knowing that Lara was just starting up her game system.

"No. I know." It wasn't worth trying to argue with Lois. Sooner or later he reached a plateau of this nigh on despair and wondered if it really was him that saw everything so differently. "But it has, and it does, and it will."

"Right. I guess... I'd better keep looking for things." Lois cleared her throat and then went quiet.

Leaving Clark to contemplate the email that he was sending to Lex's supervisor, and the music of Lara's Pikmin game.

He'd rather move a mountain than deal with all this. And he meant that literally. He started writing and the words flowed, his anger giving him an edge in his writing that didn't usually exist. An edge like Lois's pieces usually had, but mixed with his own peculiar blending of empathy and compassion.

In those strained moments in the aftermath of a long day, Clark realized abruptly that somehow he had finally found that mythical thing that the big names in reporting all had, that he had studied and analyzed. His reporter's 'Voice'.

Now all he had to do was use it to do some good.

* * *

He was being cosseted.

Reactions within the house had been a range of things, most of which Lex hadn't expected. Lara seemed defiantly eager to make sure that he was okay. Martha was treating him like she was one of her kids, like he fit right in with Clark or Lara. Jonathan was still the same warm, enveloping man that he'd met that day on the riverbank, a real solid father figure. He seemed... a lot like Clark. Sympathy, not pity.

And Lois Lane could go to hell.

"I'm not really asleep, Clark. But thanks for being quiet." He shifted his head a little, turning to look over at the man who was quietly getting into bed. Lex had already showered, had enough from his bowl of Cheerios, and laid down a while before.

"I didn't want to disturb you if you were resting," Clark said, settling in. "Sorry I left you on your own so long. How did the calls go?"

"Decently." He took in a slow breath, then shifted to lay on his back, looking up at the ceiling instead of facing the nearest wall. "You don't know how much people care about you until there's a crisis."

"The Charity? Or Bruce Wayne?" Clark shifted a little. His bed was squashed so close that he was only a few feet away. If that. Lex wasn't much of a judge of distance in that sort of low light.

"Both. He was threatening to come here and get me." Lex laughed a little. "I guess he thought I'd... done something stupid. Do you know him? I mentioned your name and he... changed his tune immediately."

"We've met once or twice. I did a profile on some function he came to in Metropolis," Clark replied. Saved his ass when he got in over his head with a meta-human and then promptly had to be saved by him. A messy story, intense and complicated, just like the man himself. "I think, compared to the normal fare of reporters, that I'm 'acceptable'"

Lex turned his head a little, and shifted his hands where they rested loosely over his stomach. "I'd guess you're more than acceptable. Back when we were kids, Bruce and I... well. You don't let mental patients give each other therapy, and there's a reason for it. But he still likes to make sure that I'm hanging in all right. He's very untrusting."

Clark had a sudden flash of memory back to opening his eyes to Batman's mask and that voice demanding to know *why* he had saved his life? As if there had to be an ulterior motive or else the world just couldn't make sense. His response of not needing a reason had baffled the other man completely. "I understood he was deeply affected by the murder of his parents."

Lex shifted his shoulders, eyes soaking in Clark's expression. "I'd say he was more than 'affected' by their murder." Just like he'd been more than affected by what had happened to him with Dominic. It wasn't a blip in his life, it was a knife wound that went deeper than the surface, that had scarred up because it was the sort of thing that never could heal properly. Particularly when people kept picking at it.

"Understatement, yeah?" Clark murmured. "But he does care, obviously. And you decided not to be whisked away by him?"

"It's warm here." Lex sighed, shifting to sit up a little. "I like that. I like that in my apartment and I like that about your home here. It feels... warm. I think." He stopped short of making himself sound *too* stupid in front of Clark. At least, stopped himself for just a moment, because he did have to go on. Even if it was said while he looked at the ceiling. "I think I need that right now. Bruce is... a wreck. He's a good friend, but we, we exacerbate each other."

"Sometimes having someone who shares experiences is a good thing, and sometimes you need someone who doesn't know to give you perspective I guess." Clark twisted and leaned up on his elbow.

"Depends on the person. I... like being here better than there. You're nice. And your family is good." It seemed stupid for him to keep reiterating the goodness factor, but that was important to him.

"Well, I think so, too," Clark said smiling at him and then faltered a moment. "Even though I've done something I don't feel comfortable about, Lex. I've taken a mirror of your hard drive in case it gets taken for evidence or something. I feel kind of weird about that. I should have asked."

That was unexpected. "Oh. There wasn't much on it. Games. And stuff." He lowered his head a little, back down to the pillow, but he kept facing Clark. "You guys don't trust me, do you?"

"I trust you," Clark said simply and sighed. "Logically, it made sense. Taking the mirror without your knowledge is the only way to preserve the integrity of the data, because I have a horrible feeling that evidence is getting tampered with. I'm sorry, Lex. I shouldn't have let myself get convinced it was a good idea. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't trust you."

"I have a copy of my medical record at home. It won't have been tampered with. I... haven't been to a doctor in years, so even if they get to Met General..." Logical. It still made him feel cold and more than a little tired. It seemed like they didn't trust him. All of this behind the back stuff.

"I've pissed you off, haven't I?" Clark grimaced a little, seeing the subtle hints in the way Lex was reacting.

"Not really. I..." Lex closed his eyes, sighed. "I don't know what to think anymore. I'm not meant for this up-down shit." A faint laugh left him. "I like it when things are mundane."

"It would be nice to have a normal life," Clark agreed. "I'm not sure if I can call here mundane, but my family seems to have unofficially adopted you. Lara was *not* happy with Lois about how she had treated 'Mr. Lex'."

Lex's mouth twitched a little, and he kept his eyes closed. "Yeah, great. Apparently, I'm just here looking for someone to molest, so maybe that's not a good idea."

"I think we disabused Lois of that notion. Finally. And Perry accepted my article. Articles -- and Winters passed them as well," Clark explained. "There's a hell of a turn around going on. Perry relishes the chance to buck the trend so... Tomorrow should have a different look to it."

"They're not going to let go of it." He opened his eyes slowly, peering carefully at Clark. It was sort of strange to be watching someone watching him like that.

"They'll change their minds," Clark replied firmly. "The truth has a powerful effect. More powerful than lies in the end."

Lex half smiled, then closed his eyes again, and shifted to pull the blankets higher over his shoulders. "I hope you're right."

"I am," Clark said and leaned back smiling. There was silence a moment. "Um, Lex.... you're really uh, DarkHanded?"

That startled Lex just faintly. They'd not only copied his computer, but they'd read the data? "You read that?"

"I recognized the title and... Well I did read it, but not from there. From the archive." Clark cleared his throat a little nervously. "When it was first put up there."

"You're joking me?" Lex asked, cracking open one eye.

"I think I've even sent you feedback," Clark had a very sheepish grin. "KryptoAngel. Um. Yeah."

It was a strange, small world, wasn't it? Clark's father had saved his life, and Clark was coddling him now, and... "Yeah. I remember. This is... this just keeps getting weirder." He laughed, because it was the easier thing to do.

"It's like we've been pushed to get to know each other," Clark mused, and grinned. "You ever doing a sequel to 'Morning Star Falling'?"

"Maybe." He laughed again, the small chuckles popping up almost uncontrollably. "God, this is crazy."

"What, that I turn out to be a fan?" Clark asked delighted to hear the laugh. "Can I have your autograph?"

"I don't sign autographs," Lex tried to grump, still laughing.

"Damn. You're a Big Name. You wrote the 'Mirrors of the Past, Reflections of the Future' arc!" Clark said in suitably awed tones. "Warrior Angel Fans check your section of the archive religiously."

"Now you're just flattering me. It's just a free-time thing." Stories that wouldn't ever show up in the comics that he loved, but. A man was allowed his escapist fun.

"Well, *I* check it religiously," Clark replied. "You don't necessarily have to tell Lara that, though. I've never written any myself. I'd like to sometime. Maybe. I don't know if I could."

"You're a journalist," Lex pointed out quietly. Clark was trained to write, and Lex was just... a scientist. "I'm just a guy whose mind wanders while I wait for Codis results to come back."

"Journalism is a different type of writing. Your writing is like... poetry," Clark replied seriously.

"Huh." He wasn't sure what to do with a compliment like that, how to respond honestly to it, or hell, how to respond at all except by shooting it down. "Thanks."

"It's the truth," Clark murmured lapsing into silence. "I should let you rest."

"Yeah. I... I'm pretty tired." He could feign sleep, lay there and listen to Clark's breathing. He was alone, safe and wrapped up in blankets, untouched and left alone, but he could feel some else there. A non-threat. It was nice, and novel.

"If you want anything, just say okay?" Clark cleared his throat. "Aside from going to the bathroom. I probably don't need to hear about that."

"I promise to not randomly ask for glasses of water," Lex grinned just a little, hitching himself deeper into the blankets, curling up cocoon-like. "Night."

"Night, Lex. Sleep well." Clark didn't wish him pleasant dreams, as he thought that might be asking a little bit much, but he did feel reasonably confident that Lex was not completely falling apart. Not like before.

Lex prided himself in stapling himself together again. Given a little calm, a little comfort, a little distance from whatever had hurt him, and he managed. Sleep would help, even if Lex wasn't immediately sleeping.

He laid there, listening to Clark's breathing.

* * *

Perhaps the most astonishing thing about the rest of Lex's stay at the Kent farm was the fact that nothing happened once Lois left. Clark singularly failed to do anything more than fall out of the guest bed while sharing the room with Lex. Lex was made to eat and drink and then to provide entertainment for Lara. Clark rarely left him on his own, but he had no problems about sharing a comfortable silence. Clark had, in a fit of guilt, given Lex his laptop to poke around on so he could see all of the data he had been collecting, as well as his own personal things. All in all, though, the rest of the holiday was relatively leisurely, and when they finally left Smallville and returned to Metropolis -- another marathon Warrior Angel discussion later -- the city seemed like another world.

Clark had been a little nervous about leaving him at his place, but since it was only going to be a few hours before they would meet again at work, he finally agreed to let Lex face that trip alone.

It was about as hard as he imagined.

Lex was a creature of habit, but there was suddenly something ill fitting about his habit. It sucked at him with dread, because he didn't know what would be waiting for him when he showed up at ten p.m. A quick shower at his apartment, a change of clothes... Lex kept the TV set on as the usual soothing background noise, brushing his teeth, making a quick pre-work meal for himself. He usually liked his solitude, but after four bustling days, the quiet ached at him.

That was what he'd been missing for so long.

Even as he ate, and got ready for work he kept finding himself turning to make some comment to Clark only to find him not there. It was strange how accustomed he had become to the other man's presence when over all the years no one had even come close to making him feel that solitude was anything but the best option.

He felt as if there was something warm and bright missing. It surprised him how much attention and support Clark must have been lavishing on him so smoothly. It wasn't until it was absent that the chill of his normal life touched him. Though he found himself dreading work, he found at the same time a thread of anticipation at seeing the other man again.

It was really a shame that Clark wasn't a CSI. Then Lex could see him every day, and... well. It probably wouldn't work out. It wasn't like Clark would be covering the department for much longer, and then their schedules would be entirely different, and he'd never hear from him again.

That didn't stop him thinking about him almost obsessively as he made the journey to work on autopilot, using it as a way to fend off his fears. For every panicked thought, he used a memory as a protective talisman. Even if he lost the real thing, he could hold the memories of those few bright days as something to be treasured. He'd made it through the last nine years on less.

A lot less. When the recovery side of a car crash and a drowning was a bright memory, things were pretty bleak. In the long run, it was the little things that made life bearable for him. A good cup of coffee. A good conversation with someone. Things that silly and simple. A smile.

Not finding his parking space blocked by a black limo.

Fucking hell. How did his father manage to do this to him? Every time. Even as he was forced to park elsewhere, he could see his father get out and walk towards him.

Lex got out himself and walked tensely, but concentrated on staying calm as he hunched his shoulders a little in his coat. Work was just a hundred feet from him. He'd be fine, and the parking lot was well lit.

"Lex. Son, as you failed to return any one of my calls, I was forced to wait here for you," Lionel said as he swept up beside him. "I see that my misgivings about Kent were sadly justified. I extend my invitation again. Come back and all the resources of LuthorCorp and our family are at your disposal."

His father was still the same piece of work that Lex had begun to shun twelve years ago. It made Lex's heart sink all the same, and made his back go tight on him. "I'm afraid that I have to decline. I actually had a good Thanksgiving."

"Being served up as the turkey for the entirety of Metropolis?" Lionel caught hold of his shoulder. "Lex, don't be foolish!"

His father had never, never *touched* him like Dominic had, but he still had a way of doing it that made Lex's skin crawl, that made him feel sick. "That's a departmental matter."

"I'm sure it is. Lex if you turn your back on my offer of help, I won't be held responsible for the consequences," Lionel said in a low urgent voice in his left ear.

"You're threatening me," Lex countered as he took a half a step backwards, twisting away from Lionel. "Do you think that I'm stupid, Dad?"

"Strangely enough, all evidence to the contrary, I don't." Lionel was starting at him. "And yet you still keep going against me. One last chance, Lex. Take it. You are my son, I love you. Come back."

"That's my incentive to do that?" Lex took another back step, twisting so that he moved every so slightly close towards the main doors. "What do I have to look forwards to? Working with people I can't stand? Who've hurt me? Who make me *sick* to look at?"

"Things can be different Lex, I promise you," Lionel was practically wheedling with a desperation that was palpable even through his facade of control. "Walk away now. Come with me now and we can put the past behind us. I don't want to draw battle lines between us, son."

"At least battle lines would imply some sort of fairness," Lex snarled, taking a larger step backwards. "I never got that chance. I kept my silence, but my hand's been forced. I'm not going to run to LuthorCorp when I've got a good job here."

"And how long are you going to have that job? Hmm?" Lionel snapped back, his voice brittle. "Discredited, all your dirty little secrets out to air and your credibility ...hah... yesterday's news?"

Lionel had a point. He was a lab tech, and a lab tech who commits crimes... But he was innocent. And he wasn't going to let his father get in his head and ruin it. "My dirty little secrets. Is it a dirty little secret that I survived, Dad? That girl Dominic hurt didn't survive."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lex," Lionel said woodenly, and there, perhaps, was his mistake. Perhaps if he had take some sort of responsibility, any sort for what had happened to Lex, then his ploy to reel him back into the Luthor fold might have worked. "I'm deeply sorry about what happened to that little girl but that has nothing to do with *us*."

"It has a *lot* to do with *us*. I remember, Dad. I remember how many times you'd send me to Dominic's house with instructions to 'be good and do what he says'. How many times you passed me off, and how many times I came back and you *had* to know what was going on. Not many fucking ten year olds get tested for STDs!" Maybe his voice was a *little* loud for the parking lot, but Lex was past the point of caring. He knew that when he stepped into those doors, it was just going to get worse. Why not start it out in the parking lot?

"You needed medicals because of your precarious state of health after the meteor accident. You are deluded Lex, this is exactly what I was worried about. You've twisted it in your own head. I don't doubt that you believe it, son, though... it pains me to hear that, but surely you can't believe that your own father would knowingly put you in that situation! Really, Lex." Lionel blended his voice into a blend of reproach and smooth pity.

Lex worked his jaw for a moment. "It doesn't matter what I think. The evidence speaks for itself. Goodbye, Dad. Have a nice night."

"Lex!" His shoulder was grabbed again, hard. "Walk in there now and there are no more chances, do you understand? *No* more chances." The words were said with peculiar emphasis.

It made Lex cock his head slightly, staring at his father. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, for all our differences, you're my son. You're a Luthor," Lionel said urgently. "And you should understand what I mean."

It was itching at the back of his mind, like a warning. Lionel had set something into motion that he was regretting, it was all that Lex could think was going on. "Dad, what have you done now?"

"I've done nothing." Lionel said, straightening up. "I make this offer out of my concern for you Lex. Let me help you."

"You keep saying that you'll help me, but you don't say how."

"With all my resources," Lionel coaxed. "I can make the problems go away. I can give you back a true life, not this masquerade you call a life. You can do things that are really meaningful, wield power as a Luthor can... tell me that you haven't wanted more Lex, tell me that this... existence isn't a sham!?"

Lex gave a loose shrug of his shoulders. "I can't say that. I'd be lying. This isn't a masquerade, Father. This is what I've chosen, and what I'm happy to do."

"Then I trust you'll be happy with what you've chosen for yourself." It was obvious that Lionel wasn't, even as he turned to go. "Goodbye, Lex."

"Night." He shifted his shoulders again, then turned his back to his father and started to talk. It was hard to not wonder if someone was going to shoot him down between the shoulders as he walked, at some silent signal from his father.

Miraculously nobody did, though the paranoid sensation stayed with him as he entered the place that had been his home away from home. He felt unsettled and nervous as he made his way through to the CSI unit, wondering if Clark were already there, or if he was going to be going in there cold.

Cold, probably. Sure, there'd been an outpouring of support in letters, but people reacted to things like those pictures. People reacted to them, disgust or arousal. Lex had been the one to feel disgust, but he could still remember sitting on Dominic's lap, impaled on him, forced to look and feeling Dominic get harder and squirm while he flipped through them.

He... really needed to not think about that. Lex swallowed, looking for any familiar faces as he made his way to the lab. He probably needed to find Winters first.

"Hey, Lex!" Kieran was just coming in as well, although about to head off towards his morgue. "How are you? I didn't hear about everything until after."

"I took some time off, went to a friend's for Thanksgiving. I'm doing okay," he assured with a smile. It would've been easier if he didn't know that some of the office had seen him when he'd been little, hurt beyond words and so vulnerable.

"I'm glad to hear you weren't alone," Kieran nodded. "I saw the papers. That was a hell of a 180 the Daily Planet pulled. Reporters are not the department's favorite people right now. A few pitchforks and flaming torches and they'd be ready to storm the paper."

"It was Lois Lane," Lex shrugged tightly. "It's being retracted, last I knew." He just didn't want to think or talk about it -- after all, the charity was *his* life. It was a functioning manifestation of what he wanted to do, and Lois Lane had tried to kill it.

"Oh yeah, we saw that one, but even so..." Kieran said. "Look, I've got to go, I've got two exhumations to process, but maybe we can talk some more on break?"

"Sure." No chance in hell. Kieran was a really nice guy, but Lex was sure that everyone had a word or two on the subject to share with him, and by the time that a break came, he'd probably be wound up tighter than an OCD patient's cuckoo clock. "See you."

The coroner raised a hand to him and went on his way even as a familiar blonde figure hastened up the corridor. "Lex!" Chloe was unmistakable especially with that grin. "Great! You made it in. We weren't sure if you were going to what with everything."

He smiled at Chloe, too. At this rate, he wasn't going to find Winters, he was going to duck into his office and hide. And run samples. "I had a good Thanksgiving, so I figured I should come back. Breaks aren't half as fun if I don't work."

"You had a good time with the Kents?" Chloe asked. "I saw Clark come in a while back."

"Yeah. They're nice people." Lex's smile lit up a little more as he kept walking, veering just a little to head to the DNA lab. *His* lab. That place was his, and he wasn't going to let his father threaten him out of it. "I had a really relaxing time." Except for that bit with throwing up and Lois. "So Clark's here?"

"Yeah. Somewhere. Actually, I've lost Adam as well. You seen him?" Chloe asked starting to look a little worried. "Uh. Trouble alert. Adam was *really* pissed at Clark about that first article the Planet ran about you. I'm thinking tracking him down would be a good thing."

Nothing was ever mundane. Lex veered from his destination. "Okay. If you were Adam, where would you corner a Kent?"

"Somewhere where Winters wouldn't happen along. Down near the break room somewhere. I don't think any of the others would say anything either," Chloe replied. "Even I was contemplating giving him a thump upside the head." She started moving, not waiting to see if Lex was following.

But he did follow. "Why? I thought he was an old friend of yours? It's not his fault that Lane did that."

"His main job is to keep a leash on my cousin and he knows it. I know it." Chloe scowled a little. "He knows better, that's the point. He knows what Lois is like, and so do I, and you can't leave her alone for a second."

"But he was in Smallville when she did it," Lex excused. "Look, I'm not going to make excuses for your cousin, because I can't. But Clark's made it a point to make sure the honest story gets out."

"Yeah, well that's why I didn't thump him," Chloe said shrugging. "Because I've never known him to deliberately do any harm." She gave a wry smile as they hurried down towards the break room to see a lot of people very busily hiding in their offices. "Ed? You seen Adam?"

"Adam? He's got the reporter in one of the survey rooms." Ed glanced at Lex, and smiled. "Hey, good to see you back!"

"It's good to be back," he agreed.

"Survey room, right." Chloe nodded. "Can I borrow you Ed? Adam is a little ticked at Kent and... well, I'd rather not see anything happen."

"Can't blame him for being ticked," Ed muttered.

Lex decided to ignore them all, and headed for the survey room himself. "Clark?!"

The fact that Adam had the reporter pushed up against the back wall with a grip knotted in his cheap shirt was not a good sign. Neither was the fact that Clark was either too intimidated or for some reason wasn't defending himself to Adam's rather vitriolic accusations.

"...fucking scum, using him like that! Using your friend to get a fucking story and then manipulating Lex..."

"Adam, put him down." Lex had a tone he used at work -- firm, hard, with a touch of seniority; he'd been there a while, and there were just some things that people learned not to tell him how to do.

Adam glanced over his shoulder not letting go, but relaxing imperceptibly. "He can't be allowed to get away with what he did to you."

Chloe stepped forward. "Adam, I told you that wasn't Clark. It was Lois. The retraction article was Clark."

"Same difference, isn't that what you told me? Playing both sides of the story. It was planned. Fucking Good Cop Bad Cop maneuvers!"

Maybe he was right.

Maybe that had been the plan all along. Except... it didn't seem right, didn't seem to strike a really paranoid chord with Lex the way that it should've. "No, Clark really is a good guy, Adam. So let go of his shirt." Lex stepped in, moved past Chloe, and put a hand on Adam's wrist. "Winters will have a fit if he catches this."

Adam turned to look at him, and it was obvious that Clark was a convenient target for a source of stress that had been building in him. Lex had seen that happen a fair few times over the years to virtually everyone. His balance and frustration were teetering and needed to lash out. A perceived 'attack' on one of their own was like tossing a lighted match into a dynamite store. "I don't care," Adam snarled. "He used you. He came in here pretending to play nice and even I fell for it -- and then all of this!"

"Adam, be reasonable. If Lex says--"

"And Lex does say. He isn't pretending to play nice, he does play nice. Someone hacked the Children's foundation database, then tipped off Lane. She saw the hacked version of events, and ran with the story. Clark had a mirror of it before the hacking."

That made Adam drop his hand from the crumpled material of Clark's shirt who didn't say anything just straightened himself up. "He was the source of the refuting evidence?" Adam frowned a little, looking back at Clark.

Chloe looked delighted. "Way to go Clark! Guess I taught you something about computers after all huh?"

Clark just nodded. "Maybe a little."

Lex let go of Adam's wrist, pulling back a little. "I'm glad that we've got this settled."

Adam gave them both a long look. Evidently the revelation didn't extend to an apology as he gave a nod and then walked out of the room.

Chloe sighed. "Translation. 'Oops, sorry about that. I was wrong. I apologize and I won't be a jerk any more.' You okay, Clark?"

Clark nodded again, and that nodding wasn't too heartening for Lex. "Not the first time someone's got a little irritated with me."

Chloe grinned. "Yeah, it was usually me. I'll pass the word around so no one spits in your coffee or anything. Better go and catch up to Adam. He's a little stressed. We can't find the last bit of evidence we need to nail the people running the ring, and you know what he's like."

"Yeah." Lex smiled at her, and then added, "If anyone's looking for me, I'll be in the lab." Just, not yet. He wanted to talk to Clark, even if it was going to be awkward as hell. What did you say to a really nice guy after your coworkers decide to rough him up?

"Got it." Chloe smiled brightly. "See you both later."

Clark watched her leave and then smiled a little sheepishly at Lex. "And you were the one worried about coming back in."

"I know." Lex looked over his shoulder, craning his head a little. "I'm really sorry. I didn't think they'd take it out on you."

"Don't worry, I'm used to it," Clark replied smiling slightly. "I've been working with Lois for a few years. Adam was pretty polite, all things considered. You okay? No problems?"

"Ran into my father in the parking lot, and got the usual less than cordial demand to rejoin the Luthor family." Lex shrugged his shoulders as he took a backwards step. It was funny that now he was sure Clark was okay, the rest of reality came rushing back at him. It had been a good few moments of distraction at least.

"He's really pushing at it, isn't he?" Clark said falling easily into step with him as they headed towards Lex's Lab.

"He's been pushing at it for years." Lex slipped his hands into his coat pockets; once he was there, he'd need to trade his coat for a lab coat. And then things could get down to normality. Or as close as he could get to that vague dream of a goal. "It was just the usual mind-games. I'm used to it. So... what're you going to be doing today?"

"Well, I thought, if you don't mind if I come in with you to start with -- at least until word gets around that I'm not the devil incarnate, and then I'd go check out where they are with the case." Clark smiled. "I've got some stuff to finish up. Perry is giving me a column on the strength of my 'Superman can't fix everything' article.

Superman can't fix everything? Lex paused for a moment once he was in the lab, changing his coat for a lab coat and getting his pills and a sealed water bottle out of the desk drawer. "Haven't read that. What was it?"

"Basically it was a piece warning of the complacency of people assuming that things can be fixed for them without having to put in effort themselves. People think that Superman, for example, can fix everything, save everyone and yet, when it comes to things like this, even if he wanted to,he couldn't just turn up in his spandex and save the day. It needs people like you, like the CSI team. Ordinary people doing extraordinary jobs to make justice happen." Clark smiled. "It's a little more longwinded than that."

Concentrate on the little things. Lex could feel the cap of his pills giving way with the pressure of his twist, could hear Clark's slow, metronome-like breaths. The lab was a little cold, and he needed to get more Latex gloves from supply, but he had enough to get him through the shift. "But... we do appreciate the work he does. I'm sure the guy gets enough flak without adding to it, Clark. There's no need to elevate the department at the cost of cutting down someone who... really does things that even the best cop isn't capable of."

"Don't get me wrong, Lex, I think what he does is good, but people are more than willing to start to rely on that sort of thing. We don't know that much about him," Clark replied.

"We know he flies, and he's strong. The mere fact that he's *helping* the police capture people says a lot about him. How many people would do something like that if they had those abilities?" He paused for a moment, and tossed back two pills before he cracked the bottle of water to take a sip.

Clark looked amused. "You like Superman," he said with a slight smile.

"He's a hell of a lot better person than the guys whose epithelials are waiting for me to test," Lex muttered around the rim of the water bottle. "A real superhero. Anyone who's read comics knows that they can't deal with the smaller, quieter crimes."

"And that's my point, Lex," Clark said enthusiastically as they entered his lab proper. "We might know that, but there a lot of people out there who don't read the comics and who haven't had the luxury of seeing the writer's toy and twist and turn with all the ethics and capabilities of a superhero with powers. They just see someone who can do what seems to be everything, and from there it's a very short mental hop to expecting that."

"Ah." Lex shrugged his shoulders. "It's probably a basic human thing. Everyone wants to be saved by a knight in shining armor, right?" He added a wink as he put the water down. "Have to get to work now. What edition was it in?"

"This morning's. You carry on, I won't interrupt you," Clark replied put his laptop down on a spare area of desk.

"Thanks. I'll look for the article when we get off shift. I'm sure you did a great job writing it." It was hard not to smile at Clark, maybe a little flirtatiously, before he headed over to the actual tables where chemicals were handled, snapping his gloves onto his fingers

It wasn't his usual style to flirt subtly. He'd never really had occasion to do that; his teenage over-reaction to abuse had swung through the confused extremes of throwing himself at everything that moved and then back to a lifestyle of celibacy a monk would envy. The normal dynamics of expressing an interest had never really come up.

Clark had told him pretty much that he liked him, but did he *really* like him or...?

It was easy to use those thoughts as a bridging gap to the safety of his work.

Clark had settled down and was busily typing away even as he considered what he should do first. His 'In' tray was stuffed full after the holidays.

And his 'In' tray wasn't even *with* him. Lex had something that looked like an 'In' tray, on that far desk -- a stack of small boxes, envelopes, plastic covered swabs in bags. All of them to be tackled in pretty much the order of Lex's choosing.

Well, going through prioritizing was probably the most sensible thing to do, so Lex rifled through some of the packages, doing a rough sort. Some evident junk mail was trashed out of hand, internal memos put in a neat heap and then he took a look at the important pile. The evidence collection. Most of them had a note attached to the outside of a container explained what there were and who they were from but every now and then someone would forget. One of his nondescript parcels turned out to be some bone fragments retrieved from a coyote -- suspected human bone. Another was a rather unpleasant bit of decayed flesh in a vacuum seal box for identification. There was another box inside a Jiffy envelope that appeared to have come in the internal mail but had no obvious means of identification.

Probably something leftover from another shift, or sent to the lab by the coroner that was on duty before Kieran. Sometimes people got a little sloppy at the end of their shift. Still it was incentive for him to process the parcels first, particularly if one of them was decayed flesh. And bone. Bone marrow was hell to get DNA material out of, particularly if it was a dried up, chewed on bone. So package number three seemed like a good starter. Lex wandered over to the radio, turned it on, then approached the box with a box cutter.

Lost in the concentration he usually experienced when contemplating work matters, Lex cut in to the package, grimacing a little as he met some resistance and had to apply force to cut it through. He was aware only then of a snick and a crackling ozone snap as if something electrical had discharged and things went all to hell.

Across the other side of the room Clark's attention was caught by the strange sound which he recognized immediately as some sort of trigger mechanism. He had stopped too many in his time not to be aware of what they sounded like. Immediately he was in his speed zone, looking around, seeing the flare of explosion already beginning in those moments between time, lapping around Lex's hand.  
He was too late to take the bomb away; it was already releasing its energy. The only thing he could do was save Lex.

It didn't even occur to him that there was anything else he could do.

Moving in those moments of fast time, he could still see the explosion billowing in what would have appeared to be an instantaneous explosion. A burst of speed and he was there. A twist and push and he was trying to hurl the bomb away from them both, and then he threw himself over Lex as the explosion's force filled the room before he could risk speeding out of there. He carried them both to the floor, hitting hard with Lex underneath him and grabbing at one of the tables to bring it down on top of them, him, to afford them some protection.

What he hadn't counted on was the fact that the bomb's explosion, deadly in itself, triggered a sequence of subsidiary explosions that thumped at the pair of them and hurled high velocity debris onto them both.

All in all, this day wasn't going so well.

He could hear, in slow motion sound, the glass windows blowing out, and people screaming. Then there were shouts, panic and flames before the sprinkler system kicked in. Beneath him, beneath the desk, he could hear Lex breathing, gasping for air and making the occasional choke noise. Then someone called to them.

"Jesus Christ! Lex!" Ash's voice sounded distraught. "Where the fuck is the fire extinguisher?"

"Get out of the way! Ed, take that side," Adam yelled, even as people started coughing and the fire alarms began ringing. Clark could hear the roar of extinguishers and contemplated briefly whether he should push his way clear. He considered the table and assorted furniture that were technically pinning him and decided he pretty much had to stay were he was, trying to keep most of the weight off of Lex.

It was stay where he was, or give a show of strength that he wasn't willing to share. It wasn't much of a choice for him to make, even if Lex was pinned beneath him, struggling a little and clutching at his hand.

"Dammit, get out of the way -- the firefighters are coming in!" That sounded like Winters, but Clark couldn't have been sure -- it could've been any one of the older officers in the main precinct.

"Oh my God, oh my God... Clark was in here too, oh my God..." Chloe sounded more rattled than any time he had heard before. "You think...?"

Damn, he was probably going to have to make his nose bleed or something, just before they got out. A few minor burns if he could. Not bad enough to get him sent to a hospital but enough so he didn't look ridiculously unscathed. He shifted slightly with a slight exhalation and gripped back at Lex's hand. It had probably been a little too long a delay for comfort for the other man.

"Owww, *fuck*! You bastard!" Lex kicked, trying to pull his hand back sharply, and trailed off into somewhat delirious, panicked coughing. That was his right hand, the one he'd been holding the box steady with, the one that felt like it was on fire and left sticky melted latex on Clark's palm.

It was just as well that Clark was technically invulnerable in his vulnerable parts as that reflexive kick was right in his groin and he had to try and fold into it in a form of stage fighting acting so Lex didn't crack a bone. To all intent and purposes he reacted much the same as any man who had been kneed in the crotch minus the scream of pain. He did let go of Lex's hand immediately, and his movement caused something to slither off of the pile that was covering them.

"Over there!"

There were more things said closer to them, but they were muffled by smoke-protective masks. More pieces of the pile were shifted, until Clark could crane his head and see the firemen. "Hey, hold on. We'll have you out in a second."

Clark sighed and closed his eyes a moment. He'd hurt Lex. He was meant to be protecting him, and he hadn't done a particularly good job so far. He should have _remembered_ that Lex's hand had been burnt. He knew that, he'd seen it happen. Jesus Christ, what had he been thinking? He waited until they were close to pulling them out and then shifted an arm, seemingly to protect Lex and gave himself some mild burns on his arms and scratched at the inside of his nose to make it bleed. It wouldn't last long, but it might last long enough to give the impression he needed.

He coughed convincingly enough as the smoke wafted down to them both and made as if to try and move.

Lex laid beneath Clark, dazed with pain and fits of coughing. He moved his left hand, hardly burnt at all, and clutched at Clark's side as the desk was pushed to one side to get them out. "Here, you first. Get a stretcher in here!" The fireman was bending in to pull Clark out, hands going under Clark's shoulders.

"'m okay," Clark managed. "I'm fine." He started to push himself clear getting a look at Lex as he did so. He looked bruised, some minor cuts and that burn to the hand. Clark winced, more in sympathy for Lex than in any play acting.

He wasn't sure if he could've managed play-acting just then. Even as he was helped to his feet, another firefighter tried to haul Lex up and to the safety of a stretcher. "Okay, sir, lay down here and we'll get you out of here..."

"Careful with him..." Clark coughed again, slipping on some debris deliberately. "Shit..."

Lex's sharp blue eyes looked panicked beneath the dilated glaze that was cast over them. He let the fireman help him up onto the stretcher that was just wheeled in, groaning as he was strapped down so they could get on the move again. The man who'd helped Clark up started forwards, offering Clark support. "We're all heading outside. Going to get a paramedic to look at you."

"I'm fine," Clark insisted. "Nothing broken or anything." He dabbed at his trickling nose, smearing the blood a little like face paints. He should come off as lucky with injuries that didn't need the hospital. "How's Lex?"

"Clark?" He could tell that was Chloe's voice even as he slipped again on the sprinkler damped aftermath. "Clark!"

"Is Lex the guy you were covering?" the Fireman who was still doggedly sticking to him asked. "Ma'am, please leave. We want to make sure the premises are safe. C'mon."

"Yeah. Is... Is he okay?" He glanced around and X-rayed Lex hastily, finding him to have no broken bones, but he must have cracked his head when Clark had taken them both down to the floor. Clark could clearly see the swelling that came with a concussion under the smooth sculpted bones of his skull. He didn't get an immediate answer.

He was finally escorted outside and then made a show of moving carefully as if he was bruised, even as he was told to sit down by the paramedic and was examined. Someone had tried to kill Lex. And had nearly succeeded. If Clark hadn't been in the same room he might have missed it. The thought shocked him enough to give him the genuine glassy expression and distraction of someone who had been through a trauma. Somehow the thought of what might have happened was particularly horrifying. He found himself repeating his question about Lex until someone gave him some sort of an answer.

"Don't know. Your friend's going to the hospital."

Clark saw Winters moving over towards Lex's stretcher and stopping the EMTs from loading him up just yet. "Hey! Adam! I want you to go to Met General with Lex."

"Yes sir." The dark haired investigator moved immediately into place as an impromptu bodyguard and Clark fought a random spike of jealousy. That was his job, he should be going, too...

He was halfway to his feet before he was pushed to sit down again. "I want to see how he is!"

"No, Kent." Winters shot Clark a doubtful look, and moved to talk to Chrissie, who was nursing a cut on her face.

"Clark, just sit still," Chloe urged.

He looked up at her, seeing the smear of soot there and belatedly realized there were other people to be concerned about. "Did... did anyone else get hurt?" He should have thought about that.

She held up her arm, with a short but bloody gash on it, and grinned, "I've been in worse explosions. The paramedics will be around in a minute. You okay? It looks like you pulled a Smallville and saved Lex, Clark."

"I... don't remember exactly," Clark said evasively. "That looks deep."

"It's going to need stitches," Chloe said agreeably as she sat down beside him. "So, are you okay?" The ambulance that held Lex was pulling away, and Clark had watched Adam get into it. It should've been *him* there. He just... sensed that it should've been. That maybe Lex would've liked that better.

"I need to see how Lex is," he repeated again. He frowned a little as if trying to remember why he was sitting at the CSI lab and Lex wasn't there. "It was a bomb. In a package. I remember hearing something."

"And somehow he ended up under you?" Chloe shifted, patting Clark like he was a favorite dog or maybe a brother.

"I was next to him... I just threw myself at him." Clark frowned. "Was he okay? Did you see?" God, even to himself he sounded obsessed. "They tried to kill him. They tried to make him responsible and kill him so there would be no more case!"

"You think?" Chloe was looking at him with a serious expression, wanting to pick that detail or two from his brain. "Do you, Clark? We'll probably need you to describe the package..."

"None of that right now," Winters told them both firmly. "Just wait for the paramedics to get to you."

Clark looked up at the head of the department. "I'll write this up. They can't seriously think that Lex is guilty of anything if someone has tried to kill him."

Winter stopped to stoop down in front of them both, but mostly Clark. "Kent. I think you need to rest for a minute."

"I... I need to be doing something," Clark replied looking directly at Winters. "I'm not hurt badly, I'm okay. I'm just a little shaky, that's all."

Surprisingly, it was true. He was shaky. He only really got shaky over rescues he had done for his family and close friends when he got to thinking what might have happened if he hadn't been there. He did rescues practically every day and didn't react like this to strangers. And Lex? He hadn't even known Lex a week and yet he was having a reaction as strong as if he was one of the most important people in his life. That was a new development.

"All right. But your notes are no doubt beyond recovery," Winters reminded him gently. It made Clark think about all of the evidence that had been lost in the explosion. How many cases, how many samples had been on Lex's desk?

Dammit! Not just this case but all of the others that might be affected as well. "I'll rewrite. I have a good memory." The paramedic moved in closed to start looking at him. Clark ignored him "I'll go see how Lex is."

Winters gave Chloe a look, and she seemed to be returning it while Clark dodged and ducked the paramedic. While sitting. "Kent, can I have a word with you over here?" He gestured with his head, off to the side.

"Uh, yeah." He got up much to the annoyance of the medic, who promptly moved on to Chloe, and went over to see what Winters wanted. "What is it?"

"I don't know what's going on with you and Lex right now," Winters started, "and I don't actually want to know. But maybe the last thing he needs right now is a reporter obsessing over him. Now I appreciate the help you've leant, but..."

"What?" Clark turned and looked at him. "I'm not obsessing!" He paused and said plaintively "Am I?"

Winters' eyebrows were up a little. "If you have to ask..."

Clark rubbed his head as if it was paining him a little. "Maybe... Maybe I'll go home for a bit," he said eventually. "You're right. I... I don't know what I'm thinking right now."

"You need to keep a clear head." Winters flashed Clark a smile. "I've worked with Lex for a long time -- a decade this spring. You keep... doing whatever you're doing the way you're doing it now, and he's going to slam a door in your face. And that door's never going to unlock." Winters cleared his throat. "Now, you should think about going home and resting, Kent. I don't think you're meant for shift-work."

Clark just swallowed a moment and then nodded. He knew a dismissal when he heard one and in a strange way it hurt him where the explosions and collapsing lab did not. He didn't have anything to say to that, and just walked away, rather randomly leaving the chaos behind him. Winters would know what he was talking about, wouldn't he? It didn't matter that he'd just been in an explosion, that he had technically saved Lex's life, he was being warned off and common sense told him he should follow that voice of experience.

But his own feelings didn't agree at all.

What would he do? Go home? Go to the hospital...?

Maybe... Winters had honestly meant that critique of his technique. He was being too... him. Or something. Maybe Lex needed something different, but Clark didn't know. The only thing that was really obvious was the fact that he was still obsessing, even as he walked away.

* * *

Aching had never felt so much like a strobe light before. Every so many parts of a second, pain throbbed and thudded. It took Lex a moment to realize that it was just his pulse in his head, and his pulse in his hand providing a sharp, uncomfortable echo.

It took a moment, too, for him to realize that he was in a hospital. He knew what the places felt like pretty well, down to the tiny details of the IV in the back of his left hand, the faintly scratchy sheets. The decor of Met General had changed only a little since he'd last been there, which made Lex want to laugh.

That urge faded when he realized that he was alone in his room. A painful twist of the head showed there was no one there, which was par for the course he guessed. He'd spent most of his hospital visits alone, one way or another.

Lex shifted a little, curling up on his side as best as he could. It was better that way; no uncomfortable pity, no one trying to talk to him... he was *used* to it, and he could find solace in that. Often, being alone was better than having someone there. It was easier to be alone, because he didn't have to think of how to act best, how to... cope. He could just lay there and do it.

But he still wished that there was someone there.

Unbidden thoughts of what had happened flicker through his mind. They didn't match up. How could Clark have gotten to him in time? He had been over the other side of the room. How was it he had been able to get up if the bomb had been exploding? Wouldn't that have meant burns all over his body?

Lex was part of a CSI team and the thoughts were distracting. There was something evidently wrong.

The worst part was that there were things he couldn't remember. He remembered his hand feeling like it was on fire, jerking back from the package, and then nothing. Nothing until it was just him and Clark, and a smoky burning feeling in his throat. He could still feel that, so he couldn't have been hallucinating it. Then Clark had squeezed his hand, and things had turned to haze again.

Lex was pretty sure that he'd kneed Clark in the balls. Which, if Clark was still okay, was a good reason for Clark not to visit him. But it had been a reaction from the pain, from being pinned. It was forgivable for him to panic at the feeling of a heavier body crushing down against his own.

There was a slight click of the door and the sound of footsteps approaching him carefully. Probably a nurse or something. Maybe another damn doctor. He wasn't interested in being poked and prodded any more.

"Lex?"

Apparently thoughts had turned to hazy hallucinations. "You're okay...?" His voice was wobbly, tired-sounding to his own ears, and rough like he *had* inhaled some chemical that had scalded his throat.

"Yeah," Clark sounded a little uncertain, but moved close to him. "You seemed to get the worst of it. I... I had to come and see if you were okay."

"Am I okay? Haven't... been awake very long." Just long enough to feel depressed at finding himself alone in the room. "Thanks."

Clark moved around so he could sit next to the bed and actually look at him. "Looks like a concussion, some minor cuts and bruises, but a bad burn on your hand there. That's what the chart says anyway." He was speaking in a low voice as if worried someone would find him there.

That was nice, too. He'd just gotten himself comfortable, and moving to face the other direction hadn't been too appealing. "Then that's a good chart. You... saved my life."

Clark shook his head and smiled at him. "Not really. The table did most of the work Lex. I'm the uh... bastard who tried to squeeze your injured hand in an effort to be comforting."

"I remember." Lex gave a faint, quiet chuckle. "I sort of freaked out. I'm sorry, Clark."

"What are you apologizing for? I'm the idiot that didn't even think." Clark's gaze was fixed on him as if he wanted nothing more than to just sit there with him.

That... was nice, too, even if Lex wasn't sure what he should so with it. He shifted a little on the pillow, twisting more so he could look at Clark better. "Your eyes are really blue right now."

"They are?" Clark blinked. "Must be the light. Careful, you have a concussion. Don't move around too much."

"Better a concussion than a hole in my chest or my face ripped off." Lex yawned, and half-moved his heavily bandaged hand to cover it, since he was hugging onto his pillow with the left one.

"I... better go. I'm not really meant to be here," Clark said in a low voice. "But I had to see if you were okay."

"Why aren't you supposed to be here?"

Clark gave an embarrassed sort of smile. "I apparently went a bit... obsessive about wanting to see if you were okay after they took you away. Winters decided I was probably the last thing you needed right now. He told me to back off basically. Told me to go home. So I just... went."

Obsessive. Maybe that was normal -- Lex wasn't sure what was or wasn't normal. He was sort of a sucker for love at first sight, and he'd at least had interest at first sight. Clark made a pretty cute 'Lost Guy in the Hallway' that first day. "Well. Stay. If you want to, I mean."

"I do. But... only if it's not going to mess you up or make things worse." Clark looked at him again, blue-green eyes faintly damp-looking. "Maybe he was right, maybe there is something weird going on between us."

"He worries about me. He's a good supervisor." Lex shrugged his shoulders. "I... I don't know how things are supposed to go, Clark. It, it seems like I liked you pretty fast. Like I said, I only have two speeds."

"If you ask Chloe I only have one, which is terminally confused," Clark replied in a low voice. "It wasn't the explosion that shook me up. It was the thought that if things had been even a moment different I could have lost you. I became a babbling idiot."

"I'm sorry I missed that," Lex smiled a little blearily. He probably looked like hell, but there wasn't much point in trying to put on a good impression just then. "You're sweet."

Clark smiled and couldn't resist it -- his fingers were drawn to Lex's face by a faint wisp of recollection. He stroked soothing fingers over Lex's forehead and down over his unmarked cheek. "So sweet you kneed me in the groin?"

Soft touch. Just a brush, but it felt so good. So good that Lex closed his eyes, and just reveled in it for a moment as it briefly overwhelmed that throbbing in his skull and hand. "That was panic talking."

"In that case you have some very vocal body language Lex," Clark repeated the gentle touch, soothing rather than provocative. Comforting and speaking in that same body language that he was cared for, watched over and protected.

"I've been told that," Lex agreed, still smiling at that touch, over the way that Clark wasn't pressing the bruises but the skin that didn't hurt. It made his heart warm, just drifting in gentleness. "I've also been told I'm not allowed to play with the evidence. One time..."

The door opened again and Adam stepped inside, nearly dropping the cup of coffee that had provided Clark with the opportunity to sneak in. It didn't make a good picture, with the pair of them staring at each other like they were on drugs, and Clark caressing Lex's face.

"Kent! What the hell are you doing here?"

Lex took it in concussion induced stride. "He's saying hi." In a really nice way, one which Lex wished Adam hadn't interrupted.

Clark looked a little like a deer in headlights as Adam turned on him. "Winters called me about you. He wasn't expecting you to just walk off like that without seeing anyone. You could be walking around with a fucking concussion or something. Looks like he was right about you being a would-be stalker or something."

Clark shook his head. "Lex is my friend, I... I just needed to know he was okay." He looked at Lex mutely apologizing.

"Adam? He doesn't know what he's doing anymore than I know what he's doing. Or I'm doing. I don't know. Just let us muddle through it. He saved my life in the lab." Lex moved his bandaged hand in something like a wave. Or maybe it was the finger. Lex wasn't sure, because with all that wrapping, both looked the same.

He was sure, after he tried the finger for kicks.

"You want him to stay?" Adam asked, glaring at them both. "Even if he is an obsessive reporter?"

Clark straightened a little, emboldened by Lex's support. "Who incidentally was blown up tonight, as well as your colleague? Or is trying to help someone a crime, just as liking someone seems to be?"

"Yeah." Lex paused, eyes closed a little, then added, "I mean, I want him to stay. I'm really tired, and it's nice not to be here alone. How's everyone else?"

"A few cuts and bruises. Winters called me," Adam replied, still frowning. "Chloe had a cut to her arm which needed a few stitches. Chrissie had a small laceration on her face. Ed is fine, because of all the impact shielding in his room. Ash got a bit banged up -- he was tossed down the corridor. Klaus and Theresa were out on a call. Kent here... I heard someone say he had minor stuff but as he just walked off, we don't know."

"I'm fine, thank you for asking," Clark replied wryly.

Adam narrowed his eyes at him. "I wasn't."

"Sounds like I never left the department," Lex mused. He moved a hand, the one that had been hugging at the pillow, to loosely grasp Clark's wrist. "Let me know when the sugar starts to get thrown around the break room."

Adam gave a long look at Lex's shift in position. "I will remove the temptation. If you need me for any reason, Lex, I'll be outside the door. At all times."

He gave Clark another look, as if challenging him to try something. It seemed that Adam's loyalty was hard to earn and he clung to suspicion as if it was his religion. He got up and headed towards the door, taking a chair with him.

Lex just kept his eyes loosely closed, enjoying the relative and small feeling of comfort that was starting to seep in among all the pain. "So, you're really okay?"

"What me?" Clark waited as the door clicked shut. "Yeah. Bruises, bloodied nose, that kind of thing. I've got a hard head."

"Lara would prob'ly agree." Lex muffled a yawn, shifting a little to get comfortable. "Sorry, things are hazy. Thanks for coming, Clark."

"Shush, you just go to sleep. I'll just sit here, okay? Winters told me to rest, and I can do that here as well as at home," Clark murmured. Lex still had a loose grasp around his wrist, and he shifted his hand a little so it was their fingers that rested comfortably together.

Two of Lex's fingers on that hand were wrapped in gauze, but he didn't protest the loose clasp. It was nice, gentle, and Lex had a soft spot for gentleness. A soft spot as deep as the Mariana's Trench, but it didn't matter that Clark was exploiting a weakness of his. It was a nice weakness, one that people didn't exploit often enough.

He wasn't alone. He wasn't alone in the hospital *and* he was safe at the same time.

Clark watched as Lex's eyes closed, and Lex settled into a drowsing sleep and smile. For his own curiosity he 'peeked' through the bandages to see the severity of the injuries and paused and smiled again. If he held the focus at the microscopic level he could see the burns healing. Healing quicker than anyone he had seen before. Lex was different, was unique in many different ways. He wondered if Lex knew about his ability. Maybe it was just another complication in his life that paled into insignificance next to everything he had endured.

Some day they'd find a way to talk about all of this. But not right now.

Just then, the moment was best reserved for resting. Lex was okay, and even if Clark *was* being obsessive, Lex also seemed not to mind. His fingers were still loosely clutching, and that faint physical contact had made a world of difference in Lex's mood.

* * *

No matter what he tried to do, he was a night owl by nature. That meant that when the rest of the apartment building was asleep at three in the morning, he was rolling around the inside of his apartment, trying not to go stir crazy. Because someone *had* tried to kill him, and he didn't want to go out and do anything, and, and...

There were a lot of 'ands'. A lot of 'ands' that had driven Lex to his old steadfast routine of setting up camp in his living room, watching TV, playing around with his laptop, and working on the design of his newest LEGO creation.

He hated having so much time off.

It hadn't helped that he'd had that time to brood on the latest development in the saga that was unfolding. The morning after the letter bomb attack, most of the papers in Metropolis had been blanketed with a blatant smear campaign. Dressed up as a salacious angle on the current story, the Inquirer had started to pull out the history of his wild times when he had tried to drown himself in sensuality, trying to find love.

The situation had escalated from there, and he could recognize it clearly as his father's handiwork. He wasn't sure about the bomb, but this -- yes, his father would assassinate his character where he wouldn't assassinate him physically.

It didn't even make sense. He was a nobody. No one really cared about what the son of some rich bastard did or didn't do fifteen years ago, did they? He was a nightshift guy. A nothing in the grand scheme of things. He ran some charities from the background, liked to do that, liked to struggle to get DNA out of bone, and... that was it.

Lex fiddled with the remote control for a moment, and took a sip of his espresso. He just wanted to be a nobody and left alone. What was happening was... was exactly why he'd always kept silent. Bad enough to be made a victim over and over and over years ago. But to have it happen again?

True, he had people looking out for him. If not for them, he could truthfully say he probably wouldn't be here, particularly as years of shame marched their way across the headlines. Admittedly some of his supporters had their issues themselves; he couldn't help but feel guilty about the fact that this wasn't just affecting him.

It was like a living autopsy of his life, each quivering mass of memory and emotion being wrenched out, weighed, assessed and recorded in the public eye.

It... it wasn't public interest. It was his fucking *life*. Every little mistake he'd ever made being looked at and writers judging him. The fucking thing hadn't even gone to trial -- the worst part was that it was discrediting anyone else who was a survivor. There were probably fifty of them, maybe more. A lot of them had probably moved out of the city, to quieter places to start over, if they were lucky. And he'd been picked out of all of them to be raked over the coals for something he hadn't ever chosen to do.

Lex wasn't sure how what he did *after* the fact weighed on what had happened first. He could remember being eight, mouth stretched around Dominic's cock. The way that the man's big hands shoved his head down until he was choking and couldn't breath, until hair and skin smothered his nose and it was only his gag reflex that got the man off. That first time he'd thrown up, and Dominic had laughed and made him clean it up. Laughing all the while. Someone was always laughing, or shouting, or drawing attention to him. About how his ass looked when it was all stretched out by a clear glass coke bottle, or how his face bruised up when he was slapped. It, it was always something...

He wasn't sure how those events were any less valid because he'd snorted cocaine to feel better.

There was a knock at the door. He hoped it was Clark. Clark seemed to be dropping in at all hours, whenever he could in between working. Even if it was just to sit with him and work on whatever story, or fill him in.

There was something that really warmed Lex about simple, quiet companionship. Just knowing that there was someone there, a little warmth in the room with him. A little simple conversation, even if it was about mundane things like what he was building, or Clark needed to put more gas in the tank of his car. Or groceries. Stupid shit that Lex was okay with. He put his coffee cup down, and moved to the door to answer it, hoping.

"Well, well... My illustrious brother," Lucas drawled as he propped up the door frame, dressed in the latest club fashions in the smooth 'over-rich' casual style that was worked at. "Thought I'd drop by, see how well you were doing at wriggling out from under the paternal thumb."

Compared to Lucas, Lex standing there in loose sweatpants and a T-shirt looked pretty un-illustrious. "It's nice to see you, too," Lex muttered. Damn, he'd been hoping that it was Clark, not more hassle come to visit him. "What can I do for you?"

"Well you could invite me in," Lucas said, making the words redundant even as he sauntered in the door. "I'd say it was a nice place you have here, but I was never one for inanities."

Lex hung back for a minute, then closed the door quietly. Lucas looked out of place in Lex's perfect sanctuary, a stark, dark kind of contrast to his warm toned decorum, the laptop sitting on the sofa, the plastic box of LEGOs on the floor. "I know, Lucas. So why don't we just cut to the chase. What can I do for you?"

"Are you going to do a prodigal son or not?" Lucas said bluntly. He turned to look at Lex, his eyes dark and shadowed. "It's a hell of a show, but I'm kinda impatient to see if my position becomes officially redundant as of now, and whether I should start looking around to pick out grave plots in the next week or so."

It was always funny how Lucas wanted to be Lex, and Lex... Lex just wanted to be left alone. Funny like Dostoevsky was funny when he wrote Crime and Punishment. So he gave his brother a loose shrug of his shoulders. "Lucas, do you really want me to come back into the fold? No. Do I want to go back? No."

"You know as well as I do that what we _want_ has little to do with it." Lucas sprawled over one of the chairs as if he didn't really care. "I'm second best, Lex, always have been." He gave a bitter twisted grin. "And it's not like the Luthor family doesn't have a history of getting rid of inconvenient members."

"That's just why I'm not going back. I don't want to be part of that, Lucas. And maybe you shouldn't be, either. Lucas, you can walk away..." He reminded Lucas of that almost every time that they met, and every time, Lucas said no. But maybe one day, things changed. Like a snap, because that was how things happened.

"Walk away? Like you've managed to walk away? So what's this current media frenzy?" Lucas looked at him. "I've made it a race, Lex. I'm going to see if I can party myself to death before our Father decides to cut his losses and have me succumb to some convenient hereditary disease like he did to your mother."

Lex worked his jaw for a moment, and then moved to sit down on his sofa, motions slow. "Don't make it a race. He's old. He'll die soon, Lucas, and then everything is going to you. Maybe he'll die in prison, if this shit doesn't get to me first."

Lucas looked at him a long moment and it was rather disturbing to see how much the expression in his eyes was like that what Lex saw when he looked in the mirror. "Yeah, well. Call it a suicidal impulse on my part, because fuck knows why I'm telling you this... He's planning something else. To do with you. All this chumming the water that he's doing is preparation. Only, his main business partner differs in his opinion on how they should deal with the problem. And me? I'm a loser." He gave a bitter sardonic smile.

Tired. 'Used to it'. Maybe it was a side effect of surviving Lionel's mind games. "Do you want to trade pasts, Lucas?" Lex asked a little sharply. "I've made the most of myself. You can, too. You're second best? So what. I was his moneymaking *whore*. If that's what you get for being the 'best liked' son... hell."

"You misunderstand me. I'm not jealous of you. I don't want to be you. We've both been fucked over in different ways." Lucas shifted slightly, leaning forwards. "My survival and yours is linked. If there's one skill Dad has ignored that's ingrained into me, it's surviving. I don't particularly want to die, but I can tell he's looking at me in a way that means he's speculating on how to write my eulogy. Which means he has something in mind for *you*. I was an 'orphan' and a street kid Lex. Your charity rescues kids like me. I had to rescue myself and in the process... morals became optional. I'm not giving you this warning to do you a favor. It's in my best interest, that's all."

"Living tends to be." Lex leaned forwards, rubbing at his temples. "I'm not going back, Lucas. I... I'm going to make it through this, weather this storm. And go back to being a nobody that tips too much at Starbucks and loves his job."

"You'll never be a nobody, Lex. All Luthors have a 'destiny'. Even bastard sons," Lucas said as he got up in a fluid movement. "Watch your back, brother. I'm going to be too busy watching my own to help you out."

Lex waved his still-bandaged right hand. "Yeah, I know. This isn't something where I can count on people to watch out for me. Even my mail's out to get me."

"Yeah, well, Morgan Edge never was very subtle was he?" Lucas replied as he headed for the door. "Goodbye, Lex. Hopefully I'll see you again."

"Subtle like a brick to the head." Lex gave a rough laugh as he got to his feet. "Christmas, right? I'll try to show up. If there's going to be anyone left to actually attend the soiree."

"Yeah. We'll see how it goes," Lucas said and Lex could see the moment when he slipped back into his role as rich kid playboy as clearly as if he had thrown on another jacket. It made it difficult to tell what out of their meeting had been an act and what had been the truth. Perhaps the truth was Lucas's entire life was one act after another.

"Have a good night, Lucas." Lex stopped to open the door for Lucas, watching his brother. Different coping skills. The only way Lex could handle living was to stop that shit and just live, one moment to the next. No masks, no games, nothing for show, whereas Lucas tried to hide within different masks surrounded by enemies. As he watched Lucas leave, he had to wonder which of them was more alone.

He had a home that was his. And he had coworkers who liked him. He had... a place in the world, a place where he was appreciated for what he could do more than who he was. Or wasn't. He'd... moved past looking for his father's love, because it wasn't coming. Love was a funny thing, and looking for it didn't bring it,

His contemplation meant that he didn't hear Clark knocking until he was practically ready to knock the door down to get to him. "Lex? Lex, are you okay? Lex? "

"Shhh!" He got up in a jolt, unsure of how much time had passed but sure that his neighbors didn't appreciate late night noise. Not much more than he appreciated daytime noise, but what could a guy do?

The banging stopped. It was a rather sheepish looking Clark outside his door when he reach it to let him in. "I seem to be making a habit of creating havoc in your hallway," Clark said in a near whisper. "Sorry, I got worried."

"Didn't mean to worry you -- I was just thinking." He reached out to pull Clark in by his coat. It was a night of visitors, it seemed. "My place has been a revolving door. You just missed my brother."

"Lucas?" He nearly tripped at being tugged, but then, he never really tripped. "Thank God I missed that. What did he want?"

"To warn me that the Luthor family is moving into a state of war. Like I didn't already know that." He closed the door quickly, and then tugged at Clark's coat again. Maybe Clark'd take his coat off and stay for a while. "So what brought you here?"

Clark allowed the coat to be taken. "Klaus found the leak. A very dead leak, but the guy responsible for sending the bomb to you by internal mail."

"But I thought the leak was a cop...?" Lex shook Clark's coat out of habit, then put it up on the hook beside his own.

"He was. Phelen, or something his name was. Obviously the fact that he failed meant his pay off was in lead rather than in cash," Clark said as he moved to what was now his habitual spot on the sofa. "But that's not the good part."

No, it wasn't. The good part was that Clark -- "Wait, you said his name was Phalen?" No, Clark had said Phelan, but Lex didn't know an officer Phelan. He knew a Phalen.

"That's it. Yeah, Phalen. Better correct that in my notes," Clark said. "You know -- knew him?"

"Knew him. For a while, Dad had him going back behind me cleaning up my messes." The messes that were now all over the front page of the fucking Star and the goddamned Inquisitor.

"Yeah, well that wasn't all that he was cleaning up," Clark replied. "Phalen obviously thought that he was going to outwit Lionel some day and he kept blackmail evidence. He has his own pictures, Lex, of everything that's been going on over the years. The team is swarming over his apartment right now, but they have pictures with identifying features!" Clark was beaming at him, waiting for the importance of what had happened to sink in.

It didn't sink in the way that Clark had wanted it to. "I..." He sat down beside Clark, and closed his laptop to put it into standby. "I don't really remember him ever being there." It wasn't like he could've paid much attention, when he was usually looking up close and personal at someone's hips, their pubic hair, and taking it from behind at the same time.

"I'm pretty sure he wasn't most of the time. It's not of every single thing, but there are deliberate shots of powerful people in very illegal situations. I think he rigged his own cameras, and I think he usually did clean up, but I checked the records and when the girl was found, he had been in the ER after breaking up a domestic violence call." Clark said. "He knew all the procedures, what you and your team looked for. And his impromptu stand in didn't. Do you understand what this all means, Lex?"

"It means..." Meant that one more person he'd trusted hadn't done a damn fucking thing to help him. That was what it meant. "I don't know." It meant that his head hurt.

Clark twisted and reached to take Lex's uninjured hand spontaneously. "Lex, it means we got them. The whole ring. Undeniable evidence. Phalen did all the work for us, and he knew what was needed to make charges stick! Understand? Dominic and all those others will be going to jail no matter how good a lawyer they can hire."

"Just... like that?" Lex knew that cases sometimes fell into place, but... "It's over?"

"Not completely, but there's a huge amount of warrants being processed right now. There are going to be a lot of people being arrested in the next day or so," Clark said looking at him. "If they hadn't tried to kill you, this might not have happened. If you hadn't had the courage to go ahead with this... then they could have continued."

Courage. Lex shifted, pulling back into himself with a slouch of his back, but let Clark keep holding his hand. His fingers twitched. "Courage. I just... said what had happened to me. That was it."

"Sometimes, words require more courage than any physical heroics," Clark said seriously. "But we have to keep you safe. Winters is preparing, like he's expecting a siege."

"My father's prepared for a full out defense. Defense to a Luthor means attack first." Lex rubbed at one eye, and sat back, pulling away from Clark. "I'm sorry you've gotten caught up in this."

"Don't be sorry," Clark replied, looking at him. "If I wasn't involved I wouldn't have met you." He smiled a little. "And wouldn't be able to annoy you for fanfic sequels."

Lex's laugh was a little tired, but it still came up as he looked back at Clark. "That's some bright side."

"I've got 20/20 in my sight for looking for silver linings," Clark replied "And you're a hell of a silver lining, Lex."

He didn't know what to do with compliments, so faced with coming back with a response... Lex floundered. "I still... wish it hadn't been quite like this. I mean, this way."

"So do I," Clark said seriously. "I wish nothing like this had ever happened to you. But I'm sure that no matter what, we would have met. I can't imagine not knowing you somehow."

It seemed fated. After all, how many people did Lex meet and just... click with? Not many. And it wasn't just a click, it was a sense of right, a sense that he really needed to be there. With Clark, sitting on the sofa and pushing down stress with a mental shovel. "Yeah. Neither can I. You... You're something. And you've been a lot of help through... everything."

"I'm not going anywhere, you know that?" Clark said, meeting his eyes deliberately. "When this is all over, that's not the end of things -- unless you really don't want me around." The words were calm but Clark's own eyes were filled with a tentative hope and worry that was easy to read.

"No. But..." Lex shifted, sitting on one leg as he turned to Clark. He was damnably unsure of how to move on without moving too far. The stroking at the hospital had been the last time that Clark had touched him, other than grabbing his hand sometimes or passing things. It wasn't much for him to go on, and he wasn't sure that he was qualified to *make* a first move. Or even chew over something so simple, so much. He'd pulled a train at a club when he was seventeen. It was being kicked around the papers. Lex Luthor Sex Fiend. Maybe none of it was real, and it was only his body wanting to revert back to doing that. Since it came to him like second nature.

When he was eight, he'd obviously been made for sex and had just asked for it. Wearing his school uniform like that, oh yeah. He'd asked for it.

"I, I don't know what things are."

"In what way, Lex?" Clark asked softly. He seemed to have some sort of willingness to try and understand at least.

"I... really like you, Clark. I'd... I'd like to..." Hell, he'd made it so *obvious* when they'd been in the loft. But that was before Lois started the city's media into ripping holes into him, before all of his memories were being judged and shoved back into his face. "I don't know."

"I would, too," Clark replied. "But I can wait until you feel ready, I told you that, Lex. Really ready, not something you're forced into, or as a reaction to other things. Something you really want. Are you worried that I might push things or something?"

"No. That I'll... fuck things up. I don't... I *really* don't know how to have a normal relationship, Clark. I don't know step one, or what's normal, or..." Well, he knew that angsting over that wasn't normal.

Clark smiled at him. "Lex, I don't think I'd know normal if it bit me on the ass." And broke its 'normal' teeth on his Kryptonian buns, but he didn't venture to say that aloud. But it surprised him to think that he would store up that comment to share with Lex some day. That in itself told him something about the level of trust he'd developed for the other man.

"We don't have to be normal. We can make up our own rules, Lex. We are already."

"So why're we sitting two feet apart?" It was awkward, and a stupid question to ask, but Lex sort of blurted it, voice aching a little.

Clark looked at him and shifted closer. "Ask, and you shall receive," he said softly. "I didn't want to push you where you weren't ready. Can I... can I hold you? Would that be too much?"

Lex laughed a little raggedly, and moved his arms -- a little careful of his still wrapped hand -- around Clark, getting as close as he could. "No. It's not too much."

Clark very carefully put his own arms around Lex, seeming to relax considerably as he did so. "You feel good," he admitted. "As good as I remember from when we were at home and I was holding you then."

"I'm usually pretty tactile, if I start it myself," Lex murmured, shifting against Clark until they fit together nicely. It didn't take much work, either, since they were roughly the same height and only different in musculature. Clark was *built* for a reporter, with muscles that Lex could feel without even having to look for them. "Since this broke, no one's wanted to as much as shake my hand. It's strange."

"In my case, probably because you nearly had a heart attack when I inadvertently touched you that first time I came in," Clark said with a slight smile. "And... since it broke, you've been flinching from contact, just a little. Except Lara, of course."

Which went great with all those accusations that he was a pedophile, right? Right. Lex closed his eyes, comfortable to be leaning into Clark, cheek to cheek. "Hadn't really noticed." He shivered a little even under Clark's touch, but moved closer.

"I understand, I just wanted to let you know that it wasn't because I don't want to touch you, Lex," Clark murmured. "Quite the opposite. But I don't want you to feel anything but good when I touch you."

"That sounds nice," Lex half-whispered. "I... I've had a lot of experience. A lot of it was... like the pictures. You saw those?" He shuddered a little, but maybe he just needed to turn the heat up. Clark felt like a furnace compared to him, and it felt so good to be held.

"Some, yes." Clark cleared his throat. "You've had a lot of experience in being abused and in being... fucked, Lex..." The word sounded strangely wrong coming from Clark's lips. "But you're a complete virgin when it comes to making love, aren't you?"

Clark didn't strike him like the fucking sort. He struck Lex AS the lovemaking sort, the kind of guy that a tumble in the hay would be really good with. And maybe he meant that literally, if it wouldn't bother the cows too much. "You could say that." He scoffed it a little, but it was hard to hide the truth of his words when he was that close to Clark, so close that they couldn't even manage being face to face.

"When... if the time comes, that's what I want it to be, Lex," he said seriously. "Making love. Something real. Something for you, most of all. If I have to wait years, then I'll wait years for it to be the right time. But I can't decide when it is the right time for you. You have to do that and let me know. I can be dense bout these things sometimes according to... well, every woman I've ever known, I think."

"You're sweet," Lex reiterated, turning his head to tentatively brush a kiss against the side of Clark's jaw. Faint stubble touched at his lips, and with it came a flood of thoughts that Lex didn't want to think, so he settled his head down a little and sat still. "Going to be here for long?"

"Until you kick me out?" Clark replied smiling delightedly at that feather touch of lips.

"When do you have to go in to work?" Lex clarified, pulling back a little to look at Clark's eyes. Green again. Funny.

"Afternoon sometime, I GUESS. I'm not exactly following regular times at the moment," Clark replied.

But sometime, he could. When the case was over, Clark would go back to daytime work like a normal person, and Lex...?

Maybe he could transfer to working days. And maybe he was crazy for thinking that. Hell, he still hardly knew Clark, even if it felt... felt right. You didn't change your life around one person, did you? Or because of one person?

Except that you did if you were Lex Luthor.

"Mmm. How about I pop some popcorn and put in a movie?"

"Sounds great," Clark agreed, and he genuinely sounded as if it were the highlight of his day. And maybe it was. Lex couldn't be sure, but that didn't stop him from shifting backwards to get off of the sofa, out of Clark's arms. He'd be back. With popcorn.

"Why don't you pick something out?"

Clark nodded and busied himself looking through Lex's movie collection and grinned as he saw one and picked it out. They never had gotten around to watching it over Thanksgiving. He waited until he heard Lex nearly done in the kitchen. Then he put the film on to roll through the obligatory warnings as he returned to the couch, and shook out Lex's sleeping bag for him. He'd noticed Lex's predilection for making 'nests' for himself and was subtly pointing out that he didn't have to stop just because Clark was there. In fact, quite the opposite; Clark was very sure he would like to become part of that nest if he could.

There was no reason for him to unsettle Lex's habits -- they weren't bad habits, and Clark could work with them. Lex eventually came back with soda and a bowl of popcorn balanced on top of the two glasses he was carrying. "Hey -- good choice!"

"The Holy Grail," Clark replied. "I've got it paused. Come, sit down and we can enjoy a classic. And you can tell me how I was doing my horse impression wrong after all."

It brought a grin to Lex's mouth as he spotted the sleeping bag. He moved to sit down beside Clark, shifting to balance foodstuffs and get himself comfortable. "Believe me, I will."

Clark moved to make it obvious that he wasn't intending to give up his holding rights so easily under the guise of reaching for some, popcorn and smiled back as he pressed play and they found a comfortable arrangement together. Soda ended up on the end table nearest Clark, popcorn shared between them, Lex curled up against his side. It was comfortable, and they both needed a laugh just then.

Clark had to wonder how it was that just sitting and watching a movie with Lex was quite so satisfying to him, so pleasant and appealing to all his senses that he just wanted to be there. He had the internal knowledge that he was doing something very worthwhile. It was nice to watch a film that they both knew well enough to quote and weren't embarrassed to show how funny they thought it was. It was enough to settle them into a warm comfortable closeness that had nothing to do with Lex's sleeping bag, or Clark's body heat, and everything to do with a developing rapport.

It was something that both of them needed more than they knew.

* * *

Somehow walking to his car had brought him to a groggy headache, a splitting pain behind his right eye, and a tight feeling around his chest. Tight and sticky, over his wrists, his...

It took him only a moment to realize that it was duct-tape, stretched over his mouth too when he tried to yawn. Lex hadn't even opened his eyes, didn't need to know that he was in a bad situation. You weren't supposed to get wrapped in duct-tape when you were going to the grocery store to stock up again. All he'd wanted was to get some sugar, eggs, milk, things like that. Not duct tape.

The scene didn't get much better when he finally did open his eyes.

Surrounding him, in various states of restraint was the majority of his department in an unfamiliar room that looked like it was some sort of warehouse or basement. This did not bode well.

The splash of Chloe's blonde hair made her the most easily distinguishable and she appeared to be one of the most mobile, though when he looked at her she was still desperately doing the equivalent of a contortionist act to get her bound hands in front of her. It would be the last time any of them joked about her yoga classes.

Lex groaned, and jerked against the duct tape. Everyone looked like they were wrapped up the same, except -- someone over at the other corner had chains around them?

It had to be Adam by the looks of it. from the spill of dark hair he could see. Some of the others weren't moving as yet and he seemed to be one of the first to wake up. Chloe managed to get her wrists in front of her and ripped at the piece over her mouth and then semi crawled over to Lex and rather awkwardly fumbled with the duct tape over his mouth and yanked it off with a few sharp tugs.

"Oh, Jesus," Lex gasped quietly. He shifted, trying to squirm himself upright. "Thanks..."

"You okay?" Chloe whispered hoarsely. "I... I think it's Edge's people. I was just heading out to work and there was some sort of chloroform or something and I woke up and..." She looked around. "We're not alone."

"No, I doubt we are," Lex mumbled. They were probably being watched, He couldn't see Morgan just dumping them in a room and leaving them all together. There were probably gunmen on standby. Something. "I was getting groceries. Can you get my hands, so I can get yours?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'll try." Chloe shifted behind him. "There are some guys outside. I woke up when they were bringing in Ash. He was freaking, and they hit him. They seemed pretty confident that we couldn't get out. All this... duct tape shit seems to be for moving us around rather than anything else." She tugged at the tape. "Shit, I snapped a nail..."

In the end she had to bend down and rip at it with her teeth so she could pull him free.

"I'll pay for you to have them done up real nice," Lex promised, pulling his wrists apart when he felt it finally tear enough. For the first time in forever, he was glad not to have hair on his arms. "If we get out of here."

"We will. Superman's been keeping an eye on the department after the warrants went out and the shit hit the fan," Chloe told him seriously, chewing at her own bindings.

He pulled at his wrists and brought them forwards, reaching to pull at her tape, too. "I guess I've missed a lot while I was on leave?" Superman watching the department? It was that bad? And he'd been relaxing and resting with Clark. A twinge of guilt plucked at him. He'd just been concentrating hard on pulling himself back together.

"When the arrests started, some of them went into hiding, and all sort of retaliation started," Chloe replied finally snapping free. "Someone tried to gun down Winters on the front steps and... there he was, Superman. Out of nowhere! The bullets were just bouncing off of him. Then there was the attempted hit and run on Ash in the parking area..."

"Is he okay?" Lex got himself into a sitting position, and started to rip at the tape that bound his ankles together.

"Well, he was then. He can move pretty fast. But now? Dunno," Chloe said, her eyes glancing around at them all with a worried look. "I'm worried about Adam. I don't know what's happened, but they've chained him. And we've got... Theresa and Nigel, Ed's other half. Shit, Lex, it's practically the entire team."

"Except Klaus and Winters. And Ed." Lex sucked in a breath, and closed his eyes for a second before he ripped the tape off of his ankles with his good hand. The other was still sore and a little weak, and since Lex was expecting pain to come his way, there was no reason to start it early. He was in Morgan Edge's hands, after all. "I guess I missed the fun. They'll keep dayshift over. And they're good guys. They'll find us."

"Let's get the others free. Maybe between us we can come up with something to get out of here so they don't have to. They're after the case evidence, that much I heard," Chloe looked at him. "You take Ash and I'll get Nigel, then we'll all see if we can work something out about Adam. He's a damn idiot sometimes."

Her flippant assessment did nothing to stop her forehead frowning in concern as she glanced at her partner.

Chained. God only knew what kind of fight he'd put up to end up like that. "Right. We just need to... be ready for anything." Anything at all. Lex grimaced as he crawled over towards Ash. Morgan had always liked to try to slip his cock in under Dominic's, like he was built for taking more than one at a time. Sometimes they'd pull out, aim together, and get into him like they were one huge cock that then moved counterpoint. Morgan liked to be in front, because he'd always liked to watch Lex cry, scream, protest, everything.

He was going to be sick, and he hadn't even seen Morgan in years. Just knowing that that had to be where they were...

There was bruising on Ash's face, and he was making muffled noises as it was undoubtedly difficult to breathe with his mouth taped shut and his nose bleeding. But his eyes, when they snapped open were hard and dark as if he was pushed to his limits.

"Hey, Ash." Lex wiped at the other man's nose with his fingers, then wiped it on his pants before he grabbed the duct-tape and pulled. Ash wouldn't need to shave for a while, that was for sure.

"Ow, fuck!" Ash coughed and heaved for air a little. "Bastards. You okay? Edge is out there. I was slung over some guys shoulder -- built like a fucking shithouse or something -- and I saw him when they were trying to get Adam under control. He kneed the bastard in the groin I think," the trace technician said with some relish.

Lex moved behind Ash, and started to pull at the tape on his wrists. "Yeah. We're mostly okay. Chrissie's here, Theresa, Adam, Nigel, you, me, Chloe... It's like being at the office." Lex let out a quietly shaky breath, and added, "Only not as much fun."

"Yeah, I noticed." Ash said grimly. "Jesus, we've even got Nigel here. We can barely get him to come with Ed to the Christmas parties."

"After that time with the tinsel, can you blame him?" Not that Lex liked to go to them much, either, but he at least put in an appearance. It was better than the LuthorCorp parties, where he spent his time cringed into a corner or looking for safe people to talk with.

There weren't many of those.

"Lex? Ash... can you give us a hand with Adam? He doesn't look too good," Chloe called out.

"Sure." Lex moved across the floor once he had Ash's hands free, leaving Ash to get his ankles un-taped.

That Adam had put up a violent struggle could be seen from the state of his clothes and the evidence of bruising littered all over his body bore witness to the reward for that struggle. When Lex approached he had his eyes shut, but his head rolled a little showing he wasn't completely unconscious.

"Dammit, Adam," Chloe muttered under her breath. "Why do you always have to do this? Am I so irritating that you felt the need to get yourself killed to get away from me? Huh?"

"Look, let's just see if we can get him unchained. You get the tape off his mouth," Lex instructed gently. Something bad was going to happen, and it was better to be untied when it *did* happen. The ironic thing was that his formative years had involved a fair amount of expertise involving chains and ties, and whoever had secured Adam had been fairly amateurish. It looked impressive but it could be removed.

Chloe peeled off the tape carefully and there was a moment of silence before Adam cracked open his eyes.

"You've got to get out of here now. Immediately," he slurred some of the words and he focused on Lex. "..is ransh..ransom. But going to shoot ush...us anyway. But Lexsh..." He coughed and spat blood to one side. "Wants you first."

Lex untwisted a loop of chain, and felt the while thing go slack under his fingers. Then he started to pull at the tape at Adam's wrists. "Yeah. I... I guessed as much."

"Can't let that... happen," Adam closed his eyes a moment while he was being tugged around. "Gotta move quick. Can't wait for rescue. Too late."

"It was too late the moment they got us," Lex murmured, leaning down a little.

"There's a gunport at the far end. In use." Nigel's voice nearby was a gruff, unexpected whisper as he veered away for a moment from untying Chrissie.

"There has to be a way out of this," Chloe said firmly and optimistically. "I used to get out of worse than this all the time in Smallville. Well, maybe not worse, but definitely near death."

Lex pulled at the tape at Adam's ankles. "Congratulations, Chloe. I guess we'll see?" He was trying to be optimistic, but he was flailing as he pulled away from Adam and then moved to -- oh, Ash was already helping Theresa. He sat back on his heels, and started to scan the room.

It wasn't looking hopeful. It was bare of furniture, of anything and they were under apparent observation. There were no windows except slits of toughened glass high up which they wouldn't be able to get through even if they could reach it. They were on a concrete floor with no convenient trapdoors or drains, so pretty much the only way was out was through the door.

The door through which shortly Morgan Edge would be coming -- for him.

If he was lucky he might arrange to get shot before something happened.

If he kicked Morgan in the nuts, maybe...

Lex's mouth tugged down tightly as he trained his eyes on the door, waiting. That was all he could do. He was *supposed* to be in the grocery store, getting coffee, things so he could make breakfast sometime. Real breakfast. Clark was a fan of food, and Lex figured he'd try to do something homemade. Worst case scenario, they'd make a mess of it together. Which wasn't a bad scenario at all.

That was what he could be doing. Something fun and simple, and... Lex wasn't going to get to do any of it. He was going to die. If he were lucky, he could distract them long enough that his coworkers might survive. That was a plan. If he could buy *them* time, then they might still be around when help arrived. It was strange, because for the first time there was a spark of him that really didn't want to die. A small spark, but one that had breathed gently into life and was smoldering thoughtfully.

But, he couldn't change who he was. He'd made a life out of trying to give something back, and fix his broken pieces somehow in the process. One last time then. At least he knew it would be for people worth everything he could give.

They were good people. Great people. Nice people. He'd have a good funeral turnout, right? That was something. Except he kept thinking about Clark, and Jonathan and Martha and Lara, and wondering what could've been. It was a nice thought. Something like a real family, that maybe he would've been part of for real. Jonathan was a lot like the father that Lionel never was, Lara was sweet, Martha reminded him painfully of his own mother, and Clark... Clark was everything he'd ever idly dreamed about having in a friend, a... a lover, maybe. Not ever, but maybe it would've been someday.

The door still hadn't opened, but someone was talking to him, and he hadn't heard a word.

"Lex? Are you listening? Adam thinks if they come to take you, we should rush them," Chloe said in a low voice. "That way, at least some of us might make it."

"They'll have guns." Lex sucked in a low breath, jerked out of his sad daydream a little violently. "None of you are Superman, so... I was thinking of providing a distraction to buy you time."

"No way!" Ash protested. "Are you kidding, Lex? We know what that fucking monster did to you! How can we let him just... take you?"

Apt use of words. Lex's mouth twitched again, maybe a little bitterly. Maybe a little crazily. He wasn't sure himself anymore. He had some really good memories, some really good hopes to hold onto, better than he'd had in years. He had a *future*, sort of, that reached past just taking it one day at a time. Maybe. Or he would've. But everyone else had had that all along, so why should he be selfish and...

It wasn't like he'd miss it. "I'm not joking. If we try to rush out, the gunner over there's going to shoot us all from behind. I can buy time."

"At what cost?" Chrissie asked, wincing a little as they huddled together around Adam and Lex. "What if we ball up all this duct tape and jammed that gun port at the same time? Might be enough."

"Don't know what caliber it is," Nigel muttered. He was still trying to get Adam to something like coherency, trying to get him to sit up. "Could just blow right through it."

"Edge likes high caliber guns." Lex leaned to the right, keeping his eyes on the door. "So. I don't know."

Adam leaned against the stocky man and pushed himself up straight. "We can take them. They're slow. Stupid. It was just the amount of them that got me before. They'll hesitate because they won't be sure whether they can kill us *yet*. They'll wait for an order."

"You're joking." Lex shifted, standing up slowly. "I don't want you guys to die. All right? Just don't do anything stupid."

"There... are things worse than death," Adam replied, even as he forced himself to follow Lex to a standing position to press his point. However, he was distracted by the door opening at that point before there was time to make further plans.

"Good evening, Lex." Morgan Edge hadn't changed that much. He wore his blond hair swept back in the same style as he had all those years ago and his eyes were the same bleached out fakery of a blue they had always been.

Like his soul had washed out. Lex went still like a deer in the headlights of a mac truck, forgetting all of his brave ambitions of going out there and providing a willing distraction. No, no, he couldn't do that. He...

Took a step forwards. "Long time, Morgan." He was dimly aware of Adam taking a step behind him, but the majority of attention was focused on the man who was as close to a gangster as ever to grace Metropolis's underworld.

"But I'm glad to see I left an impression. And I intend to reinforce that impression in the next... oh, say half hour before the deadline is up. I see no reason not to enjoy myself as a small payment for the trouble you put me through." The other man sounded as chilling and bitter as a winter frost. "You have no idea how much trouble you're in... boy."

"I'm not scared of you," Lex lied, taking another step forwards. Half an hour, huh? Not so bad. What was the worst that Morgan could do? Rip him up? Fuck him up bad? A horse? A dog? Kill him? He was already going to take Lex from the one thing that he'd looked forward to for years. Just... quiet, boring happiness. A life of doing good things and being happy on the side. Really... warmly happy. Making little changes in the world, and *happy*, and that was going to be ripped from him. That was the worst thing, and Morgan didn't even know he'd be doing it.

"You have no idea how much I held back then," he said giving a twisted grimace of a smile. "Come with me, Lex. Now." It was that same voice that had demanded the worst of things for him in the past.

Half an hour. If he provoked Morgan, he'd probably kill them all early. So he really was buying time... Dammit. He wasn't even going to get time to pull a 'Tell Clark I think I loved him,' line on Chloe. The really snappy lines never came until it was too late to actually use them. And he did, thought he loved Clark. Might've been sure with time. Now...

"Sure." Whatever. If he just shut down, his last bit of time wouldn't be so bad.

He wasn't expecting the lunge Adam made past him, and or that he'd grab hold of Morgan Edge and twisting him so if the gun port at the back opened fire it would kill their boss before anyone else.

"Run, Lex! Go!"

No one could believe he had actually done it, and if he had been slightly less battered from his previous encounter, Adam might just have pulled it off as he grappled from the crime lord's gun.

Lex gave a stuttered motion, and then did what he'd been told. He bolted, hoping to get past the thugs. No sense in wasting Adam's action, since it was too late to take it back.

The single shot behind him, even as he fled the room, was enough to make him flinch. Especially when he heard Edge bellow, "After him! I want him *alive*, the little fucker!"

If Adam survived, Lex was going to beat the shit out of him. Edge's guards had one clear advantage on him -- they knew where the hell they were going, and he didn't. He pulled at a door, and wasn't surprised to find that it was key dead bolted from the inside. Fuck fuck...

They were close behind him. All he could do was keep running, and keep running, like one of those nightmares that plagued him where he tried to run, to hide and no matter how fast, or desperate, there was nowhere to go, nowhere to hide or escape, just endless panic and...

He skidded to a halt as other men closed in on him from ahead, even as Edge rounded the corner. He expected Edge to order them to get a hold of him but he did a rather remarkable thing as one of the newcomers raised a gun at him.

Edge raised his hands cautiously. "What are you doing here, Darius?" Darius... head of his father's security detail? Lex turned his head a little, taking a back step. There wasn't any way to get out, and he was between two groups of armed, burly men.

"Reclaiming Luthor property," the burly man replied. "Back off, Edge. Mr. Luthor is not happy with you." He gestured and Lex was roughly seized. Once again, the duct tape was out in swift and liberal use. "He's of the opinion that this gambit is doomed to failure, and he knows of your tendency to eliminate evidence. He would prefer his flesh and blood to have other arrangements."

"Other fucking arrangements? This mind game shit? Look where that got us!" Morgan Edge yelled back at him. "The case centers on his testimony! Jesus fucking Christ, what's he going to do? Get him to promise nicely never to give evidence?"

Darius looked at Lex. "Mr. Luthor has made arrangements. Immediate arrangements, Mr. Edge. He suggests you attend to your own concerns and leave him out of it. We have what we want."

Lex struggled against being tied up again, cursing, kicking, and twisting. He wasn't sure what was worse, being in the custody of the man he'd been sold to on many occasions, or the man who'd sold him? He couldn't even shout once the tape was over his mouth.

Fuck. He wasn't even going to be a good distraction. And he could just imagine Edge going back into other room to shoot his coworkers.

Either way, he wasn't even going to get to know as he was carried out of the building at a hasty jog and bundled into the back of a limo, and left to wonder where the hell he was being taken, whether his coworkers would survived and whether he had just been dragged out of the frying pan into the fire.

Given that he was going from Edge to his father, he was going from the fire to the frying pan. Subtler, but still just as hot.

He kept trying to fight against the duct-tape, twisting and pulling with his wrists. It was difficult to judge the distance as the car was gliding along. They were heading out of Metropolis, he could tell that much just from the distance. So he wasn't being dragged direct to the penthouse as he feared. On the other hand, at least he knew what would happen there.

Or sort of hoped that he knew. But maybe not. It wasn't like he'd ever confronted his father about what had happened, so he could hold no illusions about what Lionel would do when threatened by Lex.

As the journey continued, he had more than enough time to wonder what had happened to his friends and coworkers. They had all been so adamant that something would happen to him, and he could just imagine Edge turning around and giving the order just to cut them all down. Adam... god, Adam, why had he done that? Was he dead because of Lex? And what had Darius meant by Lionel having things taken care of? If he wanted him dead then the safe thing to do would have been to leave him with Edge, let him do the dirty work and then exact retribution.

So why the second kidnapping?

Unless Lionel wanted him alive. But he wasn't sure what his father would do with him, alive. He wasn't any use to him. He wasn't going to be rejoining the fold. It was his life as it was, as he wanted it, or nothing. He wouldn't cave.

He just wished that his coworkers hadn't been stupid about it.

It wasn't a long car journey, but it was long enough to put them on the outskirts of the city. When the car finally stopped, Lex was dragged out literally but he managed to twist enough to catch a glimpse of electrified fences, and a blocky mass of a building that looked like it should be a prison.

But no prison he had ever heard of went by the name of Belle Reve. Now that, he *had* heard of. It was a mental ward, and his father had threatened to send him there a time or two when he was younger. And muttered about Lex sending *him* there through his willful outrageous behavior...

Maybe that was how Lionel was going to get rid of Lex.

He was starting to think that perhaps being killed might not have been so bad after all. He was carried in, and could see glimpses of staff looking at him furtively like they knew this wasn't right. Blank empty corridors, a maze of them blurred as he was taken to his destination.

The first he knew of it was being put on a cold metal bed and then, the tape was ripped from his mouth, even as assistants busied themselves taking off the tape from his wrists, and refastening him with straps.

"Good evening, Lex, I haven't seen you for a while." His rather ineffective therapist was there standing over him, looking at a clipboard.

"Yeah, I've been doing okay," he muttered, glaring up at her. "You mind telling me what the hell is going on here?"

"Well, your father has decided that the most effective way of dealing with this whole situation is to... well, start from scratch." Dr. Foster smiled at him. "I'm really sorry about this, Lex, but there's only so long that I could retard your progress therapeutically. Now he wants something rather more permanent and practical done about it. It will be a little hard for you to give evidence against him if you can't remember it. It seems, radical though the procedure is, he is willing to try it in light of recent developments."

*Retard* his progress? Lex jerked against the bindings. "You bitch. I thought you were helping me! You god-damned *BITCH*, I hope he kills you when you're done licking his god-damned boots!"

"I see you still have some anger management issues to process, Lex," Dr. Foster replied calmly. "As you won't remember this after the electroshock therapy, I really must congratulate you on having a very resilient core identity. No matter what, you seemed to be able to patch it together."

He let out a shaky breath, and tried to twist himself free. "How do you sleep at night? You're supposed to be a *therapist*! You know what they did to me, how can you..."

"Not entirely by choice, Lex. Unfortunately, I've had ample proof of everything you said about your father being able to control anything he focuses on." Dr. Foster was looking sincerely regretful as she went on, fidgeting with a pen. "I'm afraid the prospect of what happened to you being held over my head for my own daughter was enough to erode my professional ethics. I am truly sorry."

"You..." He jerked again, closing his eyes tightly. "You bitch. You could've said something, the police are closing in on him and you're *STILL* helping him. God... god dammit."

"But it wouldn't be soon enough," Dr Foster tested the straps. "Even if it were tomorrow, it wouldn't be soon enough."

For a moment she sounded sincere, and then blew away any shreds of decency.

"And of course the money helps as well."

"I hope you choke on your god-damned money!" They were too tight, and all he was doing with his fighting was hurting himself. But it didn't matter, because in a few moments she was going to see that they put electricity through his brain. "I'm not crazy! You can't do this to me!"

"It's the only way to save your life, Lex," she replied as the machinery was brought in. "And then we'll rebuild you a new one. One without the pain, one where you have a loving relationship with your father, where you're his heir and all of this is just fragmented memories of bad dreams... understand? Open your mouth."

He shook his head violently, mouth clamped shut. No. No, he had a good life. A job, friends, something he was doing to try to change the world. They just couldn't take it all from him like *that*. It wasn't *fair*. And if the only protest he could manage was shutting his mouth, then he'd do it.

He didn't get a choice as a rubber ball gag was forced into his mouth, and every part of his body was strapped down tight, including his head.

"We might have to give him a series," Foster was saying. "Let the unit charge and we'll make the first one count. We don't have time... You have men guarding the door?" He could hear Darius' agreement. "Good. We'll be done shortly. Clear the table. Electrodes fixed? Good. Nearly there..."

He muttered 'bitch' a few more times, and then started to scream protest against the back of the gag. No, he wasn't going to become both Lucas's and his own worst nightmare. He'd turned his back on that life, and Lionel had been the one to fail him. They couldn't kill everyone who'd ever known him... could they?

Maybe not, but perhaps they could make it so he didn't know them. It looked like either way he wasn't going to get a choice. Just like everything before. It had never been his choice then, and he'd worked hard to find choices he could deal with and control, and now all of that was going to be taken from him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He could see from the frantic corner of his eye the moment when Dr. Foster reached for the dial and turned it.

He was expecting innumerable volts to pour through his brain and body, so he missed the blur and crash of something immensely fast and large punching its way through the building to that room. Instead of a searing shock, he could feel the warmth of two hands against his temples as electricity arced up and down two muscular blue clad arms.

Dr. Foster snapped the dial back to 'off', staring in shock at the blur of color that had ripped down the door and put his hands between the electrodes and her intended victim. Small arcs of electricity hit Lex, no worse than fiddling with a light socket, jarring him, but other than that, he was safe, and then he was being ripped free.

And it was literally ripped free. Leather restraints snapped like threads, even as the guards ran in and opened fire at them all. Bullets ricocheted, and Lex didn't quite wince when he heard a woman's voice gasp in pain. Then the presence was gone, and he heard the guns one by one by one stop firing.

By the time the man -- Superman -- had turned towards him again, any weapons they had held were pools of molten metal on the floor and there was a fire starting around them.

"It's time to get you to safety," Superman said, in a deep resonant voice. "I'll have to carry you. Are you hurt?"

He shook his head as he tried to sit up. Apparently those couple of tiny jolts had been enough to make him shaky, or the knowledge that his therapist had been hurting him for years now. "My coworkers, Morgan Edge has them..."

"They're safe, they're all at the hospital and Morgan Edge is in custody. I didn't get a fix on their location until the door was opened. There must have been sound proofing in the room," Superman replied with a hint of apology. "And there must have been sound proofing in your transportation, or you were subdued. I couldn't hear you until you started speaking. I apologize for cutting it so fine. The authorities will be here shortly, but you should be at a hospital. I'll fly you there, otherwise it could be some time before you're seen to and after such an ordeal, that would not be wise."

He pushed himself up sitting with his palms, looking at Superman's visage and his costume with more than a little awe in his eyes. "S... sure." There was something... familiar about him.

Superman lost some of his fixed professional manner and smiled as if he couldn't help doing so, before schooling his expression. "I'm going to pick you up. Please feel free to hold on."

He was lifted as if he were as fragile as a porcelain doll that the costumed 'superhero' was afraid of breaking. The definitions of muscles were clear under the costume. Superman paused and looked down at Lex in his arms.

His eyes were astonishingly blue. Blue as a burnished cloudless summer sky with the sun shining brightly, warm rather than hard -- and his embrace was like a furnace.

Lex moved one hand to the back of Superman's neck, speechless from the warmth that was blooming in his chest, mingling with stress and shock. Then an almost smug smile touched his mouth, and he murmured, "Holding."

Superman gave him a curious look and smiled again. "I won't let you fall."

Some self-indulgent part of Superman made him lift and cut the speed back to a point where the world was moving fast but not so fast it couldn't be appreciated, at least to start with. The night they rose up into was glittering with stars as they swooped up, the lights of Metropolis blazing ahead of them and the satellite sparks of Smallville, Granville and clusters of small towns flickering in the darkness.

They paused just a moment, long enough above it all for there to be nothing but silence, and then at speed, Superman shot towards the hospital in Metropolis where he had delivered all of Lex's colleagues and friends.

Lex simply held on. Up and down and up and down and up and down. Lex wasn't meant to swing through those extremes so much in one day; he wasn't built to handle it. Happy to be plotting grocery shopping and a surprise meal, then being kidnapped, then thinking he was going to die, a rescue, a trap, a betrayal and then... then this. Lex's eyes were dried by the wind, aching and raw by the time they landed, but he was warm from Clark's heat, and...

Not Clark. Superman. It still made him want to laugh, and it made him want to never let go.

Clark in his Superman mode was oblivious to Lex's revelation, as he landed gently at the hospital and set to enter. He paused to readjust how he was holding Lex and then in a subconscious movement, touched Lex gently over the side of his face as he had done when he was Clark sitting at his bedside. If there were any doubts, they were dispelled then and Clark seemed oblivious as he straightened up and entered the hospital ER. They found it still packed with members of the Metropolis CSI team and police to protect them all.

"Lex! He's got Lex! Is he okay?" Chloe hurtled out of a waiting area.

"That's for the doctors to decide, miss," 'Superman' replied in that deeper more resonant tone. It was true, he didn't sound as gentle or humorous as Clark.

Goofy. Clark was a lot goofier, but it was still the same person, Lex could see that. It seemed blindingly obvious now he had made the connection. Lex let Superman set him down instead of making an ass of himself trying to do it on his own; after all, he wasn't sure he would've gotten down by himself, because he didn't want to let go. Bright blue eyes, warmth, *warmth*. All the good things that were Clark. He'd been so scared that he'd never see him again, sad at the could-have-beens that he'd never get. And now he was *going* to get them. "I'm okay..."

He couldn't be imagining the fact that Superman was reluctant to let go of him, under the guise of making sure he was steady on his feet.

It was difficult for him to contemplate, because just then Chloe decided to throw their customary formality out of the window and hugged him. "We thought you were dead! We didn't know what had happened to you... and then there was Adam... and they were going to kill all of us!"

Lex looked back over his shoulder, dazed as he hugged Chloe back. "Is everyone okay?" Clark was okay. Clark was there, with him, and he really wanted to say something. Couldn't. It could wait a little while longer.

"Adam's in surgery -- they think he's going to make it. Well, they rate his chances as good. If Superman hadn't brought him straight here, it might be different. The rest of us have bruises and cuts." Chloe looked up at Superman. "Thank you again, Superman. I don't know how you can catch bullets like that but... we're grateful."

Superman inclined his head, crossing his arms across his chest as he saw a doctor come over to Lex. "If you will excuse me, I'll be making my statement. I hope this situation is soon resolved, and you'll all be out of danger shortly."

"Thanks..." Lex's eyes lingered, still a little wide. He knew a real life superhero. Who read comic book superhero fan fiction, and played with his little sister, and was good to his parents, and... And Lex really didn't want to be poked around by a doctor just then, but he'd see Clark later, he guessed. Hoped.

In the mean time, he was being whisked in for examination, and even Chloe's presence was waved off to one side as he was patched up once again. It was more luck than judgment that he didn't have anything too serious to add to his existing collection of injuries

Some bruises. He'd twisted his wrist fighting the straps. Some abrasions. A little contact burn at his temples. Other than that, he was fine to rejoin his colleagues in the waiting room, as long as they kept things quiet. A policeman escorted him back to the waiting room; the cops seemed happier to have their CSI team in one place, with no stray sheep since they were being hunted.

Winters was lurking somewhere around in the background, he could hear him. He could hear Chloe talking to Theresa, and nearly crying when she confessed that she was really scared for Adam, and not just because he was her partner and they worked together. He heard all of that before he entered the room properly, still a little unsteady from his close contact with the electricity.

They stopped and turned as he entered and Ash beckoned him in to sit, even though with the state of the bruising coming out on his face, it was a wonder he could see. "Lex. Come and sit down... you can have Ed's seat. He's off kissing Nigel or something."

The bandaging that came close to Ash's eyes probably didn't help his eyesight. "Can't blame him," Lex said shakily, as he did sit down. "I heard the gunshot."

"Shit, if I'd known he was going to do that, I would have been able to back him up," Ash muttered. "He damn well nearly pulled it off though. Couldn't believe it. All hell broke loose then. They took off after you, and Chloe was bawling her eyes out over Adam. We're talking Chloe here, right? Who abandons her 'I can deal with everything' image. Chrissie did first aid on him, and... well when they came back for us, they were just going to kill us, you know, and then there was this blur and all of a sudden they're there, their guns empty and this Superman guy just... lets the bullets fall from his hands. Incredible. I swear..."

"He stopped the electricity with his hands," Lex agreed with a little awe in his voice, still. It was just... so damn cool. It almost didn't feel real. "I'm glad you're all okay. I thought they would've killed you all after I was... taken by my father's people."

"I think they tried to go after you, I don't know. Theresa suggested that maybe Edge and your father were having a conversation about it or something," Ash poked at his face, prodding the bruised tissue. "Fuck, I'm going to be ugly for a few days. Anyway. We thought, well we didn't know you'd been taken when they came back. We thought they'd caught you. Anyway, then Superman turns up, and Winters too, and we're all whisked here immediately -- and all he's asking is, 'Where's Lex Luthor? Where's Lex Luthor?' To all of us. And we were here and he like, tilted his head to one side frowned and... there was a blur and he was gone. Next thing we know he's back here with you."

Funny. It felt like they'd been flying for forever. Maybe the warmth made him think that. Lex rubbed at his eyes for a moment, pressing his fingers in until they watered a little. That actually made them feel better. "He said he couldn't hear me until I started cussing out my... *ex*-therapist. My father had me taken to Belle Reve, and she was going to fry my brains out. It was like something out of a bad TV show."

"Jesus Christ. I thought my father was a bastard. At least he wasn't such a Machiavellian son of a bitch," Ash agreed. "He's the last one left. They got Edge tonight. Nigel punched him out even though technically the fight was over."

Lex held back the barb about that's why they didn't want Nigel to show up at the Christmas party. "Thank God. They need to get my therapist, too. She's... been feeding me shit for years to mess me up. She admitted to it because she didn't think I'd remember once she was done with me." The relief that Morgan Edge was in custody was a deep, resounding relief. No more threats from that man, no more thoughts that he'd ever have another run-in with him.

"Think it's all taken care of," Ash said tiredly. "They keeping you in tonight? Or you reckon we get to have protective custody somewhere?"

"Probably get protective custody somewhere," Lex sighed, lifting his head to look for Winters. "At least until they catch my father or deem it safer than it was tonight." Which he was just... sarcastically looking forwards to. He wouldn't be getting any sleep if they were put up somewhere.

"I'm hopeless about sleeping somewhere I don't know," Ash admitted mournfully. "Drugs. Drugs will be good... and... Hm. I wondered how long it would be before our reporter friend turned up." He was looking out over the waiting room to where he could see Clark talking vigorously with Winters as if asking permission to do something. And Winters, from the looks of him, was forbidding it.

"Great. You're not the only one with problems sleeping in unfamiliar places. I don't know what we're going to do, but... I'll be back in a minute." Lex grinned a little as he got to his feet, walking towards Winters and Clark. He was still unsteady, tired, shaky, everything. But. He was *alive*, and Clark really looked cute in those glasses.

He'd been more right about Clark's glasses than he'd ever thought. "Clark!"

Clark turned and almost literally beamed at him. "Lex! I... uh... well I wanted to see how you were but..."

"I didn't think you were up to it," Winters confirmed looking at Lex seriously.

"Are you joking?" Lex half-asked as he moved past Winters to hug Clark tight. Not too tight, and not too lingeringly, but it was enough. Even after the doctors had examined him, he could swear that he still felt Clark's heat on him, and another touch confirmed and doubled the feeling. "It's great to see you, Clark."

"I came as soon as I heard," Clark said hugging him back carefully. It was odd. Lex knew that it wasn't strictly a lie, but it was certainly misleading. "Are you okay?"

Winters was still not looking happy. "I see."

Lex flashed him a smile. "Fred, can I talk to you later? I think I need to sit back down again." That *wasn't* a lie, as he took a backwards step towards the chair that was still open beside Ash. Maybe he should just ask where this mysterious niche Ed and Nigel had disappeared into was, and if there was another one nearby.

Never mind that he had a sneaking suspicion that it was the men's bathroom.

Winters nodded, and after a brief hesitation, Clark followed him. Ash tried to leer at them, but ended up with a grimace of pain instead, and Clark took a brief detour to speak to the still upset Chloe before returning to Lex's side.

"Hey," he said, perching near him. "You feel okay?"

"Yes." Better than okay. Lex wanted really badly to run his fingers through Clark's hair. Wanted to lean down to kiss him. Wanted to... Do all sorts of things, a lot of which he was pretty sure he actually wasn't capable of. "I'm glad Lionel didn't think to try to get you, too."

"I don't think he particularly wanted me," Clark replied, his hand slipping to rest on Lex's shoulder. "I'm glad Superman was there to help you, even if he cut it fine from what the others were saying. Lois will flip, she hates missing out on a Superman story."

"I think with things as tightly wound as they are right now, it'd be better if Lois didn't make an appearance." The hand on his shoulder was nice, and Lex shifted faintly, leaning into it. Two speeds, but apparently he had a third one buried in there somewhere. Maybe 'subtle and coasting' wasn't beyond his grasp after all.

Clark leaned close. "I really want to hold you, make sure you're okay," he murmured in a low voice. "But I might give your boss and everyone else a fit if I did. You think they'll let me stay? They keeping you in, or moving you?"

"No idea. I'm medically fine," Lex shrugged, leaning in to slide his arms around Clark's shoulders. Let the rest of them have a heart attack. "I'll make them let you stay."

Ash cleared his throat. "You two going to start a game of tonsil hockey there? I might need a towel or something."

Clark flushed a rather impressive embarrassed red, but he didn't let go of Lex. Lex's mouth twisted and he turned to look at Ash, face brushing Clark's. "Don't worry, Ash. Or get your hopes up. You know, Ed and Nigel are probably in the men's bathroom..."

He turned back to Clark, and adjusted his arms. It was awkward, but nice to have contact. "I'm glad you came."

"When you and the others didn't turn up..." Clark looked at him, and then at Ash as well. "We were frantic."

"We were all pretty frantic, too," Lex joked weakly. He pulled at Clark, resting forehead to forehead with him so he could look at Clark's eyes for a minute. "Adam's apparently in rough shape, but... Superman got there in time. He's probably going to pull through."

"He will," Clark said with certainty. "At least that's what they said. How long are they going to keep you here?"

A glance over at the policemen, and Lex shrugged. "You should ask Winters. We don't know anymore than you do." Winters... did not look like a happy man. He probably thought that Clark was preying on Lex in a time of weakness.

"Do you really want me to stay with you? I will if he'll let me," Clark asked anxiously. "I really don't think you should be alone Lex. I know what your father can be like when he's desperate."

"He wanted to wipe my memory so he could reshape me." Lex's fingers moved, twitched, almost kneading Clark's shoulders. "I want you to stay."

"Then I'll find a way to stay." Clark sounded certain of that fact and looked up as Winters stepped in.

"Listen up. The good news is, Adam's out of surgery and the doctors say his prognosis is good. The bad news is, we're going to be moving all of you, including those who weren't taken, to a safe house until we can get Luthor. I've been informed that none of you are hurt enough to be at risk, so we'll be moving in fifteen minutes." Their head of department looked around. "Those of you with significant others or family who might be in danger, let me know immediately. Nigel's involvement shows me that loved ones are also targets."

Well, that wasn't much of a problem. Most of the department was devoted to their work, and Theresa had gotten dumped by her last steady boyfriend three months ago. Chrissie had kids, so they'd probably be joining them at the safehouse. Lex kept an arm around Clark's shoulders, but leaned to one side a little to elbow Ash gently. "Hey, do you want to retrieve Ed and Nigel from the restroom?"

"I can take a hint," Ash said nevertheless getting up to do just that. "There better be good drugs at this place."

He left the pair of them alone as he disappeared to rally Ed and Nigel to join them. Presumably, the only one not going with them would be Adam, as he'd most likely be in recovery.

And maybe even then he'd join them. Lex didn't mind that they were still essentially in a room full of his coworkers. Klaus was over in the corner voicing some objection about the silliness of having everyone in one place at the same time, Chrissie...

Lex just didn't care anymore. "Clark? Thanks."

Clark smiled. "What for?" he asked conscious of Winters looking at them.

"Coming? Being? I don't know." Lex couldn't help but look at Clark, saying with his eyes 'but you know why' as best as he could. Then he moved his other arm to loop back over Clark's shoulder, just savoring the warmth. "It's been a hell of a day."

There was no sign that Clark had got the message on any level. In fact if it weren't for the fact he was so sure, he would have been doubting his opinion. How could the man that was sitting next to him in a very mediocre suit, glasses on, with the gentle green eyes be the same man as the spandex clad hero that had bullets bouncing off of him, who could fly, and had eyes so blue and vivid that any gem would look insipid in comparison?

But he'd seen Clark's eyes that shade of blue before. And he'd seen Clark without glasses, in jeans and a jacket, he'd seen Clark at ease. It seemed so much more possible when Clark wasn't... seeming like he was going out of his way.

"Mr. Kent, we're going to be leaving soon, so perhaps you should leave."

Clark looked up. "I'd like to stay sir. Specifically with Lex, but with the unit in general. You did give me permission to shadow the team through the case."

"Shadow, not..." Winters paused for a moment, looking down at Clark and Lex. Lex made an effort to look as protective of Clark as he could, keeping in place nice and close to him. It didn't melt Winters' expression.

"Sir, like it or not, I am involved," Clark pressed. "I became part of this case when the lab blew up with me still in it. I'm Lex's witness for the harassment his father has been perpetrating. I was useful earlier, even you have to admit that."

"If my father's still out there," Lex added, "he's going to gun for Clark. He thinks Clark's the one motivating me to 'turn on' him." As if the years of abuse and cold, quiet prodding wasn't enough in and of itself.

"Lionel Luthor and I have history," Clark added.

Winters still didn't look happy about the prospect. "Kent, if I find that you're manipulating Lex, or do anything to him... I'll let the department loose on you and turn a blind eye."

He couldn't quite get angry, even if Clark was being vaguely threatened. Lex just sighed. "Fred, I think I'm a good judge of character."

"I'm just concerned, Lex. You've had a rough week." The older man focused on him. "And I've watched you suddenly in closer with this reporter than I've seen you get with anyone in nine years. It's... worrying."

"Kindred spirit. Neither of us knows what the hell we're doing," Lex explained simply. That probably didn't do much to soothe Winters' concern; Lex still felt a little bad about being flippant on the matter. "I'm... glad that you're concerned, though. I appreciate it, sir. Maybe... later you could give me the name of that therapist you mentioned."

That was enough to surprise Winters, and it adroitly redirected him. "Fine. Kent is in. Just watch your step, both of you." He glanced up as some noise and sighed. "Ed! Ash, couldn't you have stopped him before he came out of there?"

Ash looked up. "Does he look like he's sticking his tongue down my throat, sir?"

Lex smiled slyly as he ducked his head back down, forehead to forehead with Clark again. "Want to switch spots? This must be hell on your back."

"I'm fine," Clark replied smiling back. "I'm not the one who was abducted and then nearly electroshocked."

And he hadn't told Clark that. Not that Winters had to know that, since he and Lex had been over there for a while. But it made Lex smile a little more at what suddenly felt like an in-joke. "Yeah, well. Had worse happen. I *meant* to go grocery shopping, you know."

"Dangerous stuff grocery shopping," Clark agreed. "All those additives. Stick to organic, Lex, much less hazardous to your health."

"Sure, death by cow." Winters had lost interest in them for the moment -- but probably not concern, and was off to one side talking to an officer. "I sometimes like to pretend that my eggs haven't had shit scraped off of them."

"I told you, that's how you know they're fresh," Clark grinned at him. "You were good at collecting eggs. And you liked the eggs when you ate them."

"When they've been cooked, it's a lot easier to forget where they came from," Lex grimaced a little. Lara had been unfazed by the shit-covered eggs, of course, though Lex had suspected that had just been to show him up as the city-slicker that he was.

"All right, we're going to go now. We're doing a head count. Is everyone here?"

"Aside from Adam, yeah," Chloe said, emerging from her discussions with Theresa and Chrissie.

"Adam will join us once he's able. *If* we're still in the same situation. Any additions to the safe location are being picked up by the police now. So... let's get a move on." With a gesture of his hand, Winters turned, expected them all to follow.

The team limped, supported each other out of the waiting room and began the trek to transportation to their communal 'safe house'. Their 'protection' would hopefully last only long enough to get Lionel Luthor arrested. The only problem with that was that it was as yet still reliant on witnesses such as Lex. Unless they could find hard evidence to tie him to the others they had rounded up, then he would manage to get out of it somehow. They all knew that.

It was damned hard to find that sort of evidence when you were locked away for your own protection. It just needed to be confirmed. And maybe they wouldn't even need that sort of hassle. Lex didn't know. Lex was just glad to get someplace with a bed, and safe quiet. Sure, there were police there, but they were police that everyone on the team knew in one way or another.

"I have never seen anyone talk so quickly as you persuading Winters we could share," Clark said, grinning as they started trying to rearrange their rather small room in the safe house. "But with Chrissie's kids here he couldn't really say no."

He looked around. There was one bed and a couch. "Looks like the couch for me then."

Fast thinking. Well, it was share with Ash, Ed and Nigel, or... It was easier if Chrissie was with her kids, and Clark was with Lex. It was what they both wanted, anyway. A tiny little room with a radio, a sofa and a twin bed. Lex stood there for a while, looking at the bed and the couch before he shrugged. "It's not like it matters, Clark. Neither of us have a change of clothes. No one's going to get much sleep."

"You should," Clark insisted as he put down his laptop which he had managed to keep with him. "There's probably something here, somewhere. A robe if nothing else. There's a built in wardrobe and some drawers, there might be something there."

Something that wasn't a bomb. Lex moved to sit on the bed, hands resting on his knees. "I don't like to wear clothing that isn't mine."

Clark looked at him a moment and then nodded. "Okay. You could go naked. Or nearly naked." He blushed suddenly as if he realized what he had said. "Uh yeah. Um. I'll just take a look at the closet then."

The suggestion made Lex nervous where he wouldn't have been under better circumstances. Maybe the close brush with Edge had him twitch at a suggestion that would've made him laugh or take *action* a few days ago. 'He wanted to rape me' danced at the edge of Lex's mind, but what did it matter? It wasn't something new. It hadn't even happened. It was an almost, albeit an almost that he'd thought he'd been safe from. And he'd resigned himself to it, only to have it not happen at all. All it had taken was for Adam to be shot.

Lex got up to turn the radio on.

Some typical Metropolis techno blend came on and for a moment the pair of them ignored each other as the radio filled the silences. Clark seemed to realize he shouldn't have said anything. He was avoiding looking at Lex while he tried to work out what would be safe to do next even as he pilfered the rather nondescript robe from the closet.

Lex settled back on the sofa, watching Clark once he'd turned on the radio. Yeah. Who was he kidding? He'd never be able to talk about it, really talk about it. Not with a good therapist, not with anyone. It was years old and it... just didn't matter.

Clark was looking at the robe doubtfully. "I think I would be better off without this," he said finally and stood looking a little lost over the other side of the room. "Did I... I made you uncomfortable didn't I?"

"I made myself uncomfortable." Lex lifted his head to look over at Clark, and twitched a smile. It *was* his fault. He was messed up, and as messed up as Clark probably was, too, Clark didn't need that sort of shit. A guy who couldn't heal, couldn't talk about a damn thing. And after all, wasn't talking apparently the magical salve?

"No, it was a stupid thing to say after what you went through," Clark replied. "I should know better. Do you want me to stay over here or something?" It wasn't even a guilt trip, just a question of plain fact.

"No." Lex cocked his head a little, still watching Clark. "It's just been a long day. And I'm jumpy after what Edge... wanted to do." There. That was as close as what he'd wanted to say as he was going to get. The words had wanted to leap out, someway. He felt like he should explain, somehow. Make sure that people understood *his* view of things, except there just wasn't a time or a place or a forum for it. Or a point. It just would've sounded like an excuse or a pity party.

That was what therapy was supposed to help with, right? Letting out all of that pent up hurt. And since his therapist had been in his father's pay, it sort of made sense that all the hurt was still inside of him.

"I can imagine," Clark said and winced at his phrasing. "Or rather, I can't imagine what that must have been like for you."

He ventured a little closer and, seeing no obvious flinching, actually sat down with Lex again and felt a great deal better himself. "They told me what you were going to do. Chloe and Ash did. You were going to try and be a distraction for him. I... God, Lex."

"It wasn't like it was something I hadn't done before," Lex pointed out, straining for rationality in his words. "I thought we were all going to die. I figured that they needed more time, that *we* needed more time. I... I'd had a good life, Clark. I've tried. I didn't want anything to happen to them."

Clark had to swallow before replying as he was rendered nearly speechless by the simple quiet courage in those words. "If there's anyone who fits the definition of hero Lex, it's you," he said seriously. "I mean it. Even after everything, you're still willing to give every last thing, to face your fears to help others."

Lex looked down at his hands, his legs, because it was easier than looking at Clark. "Adam got shot for my stupid idea. He's a hero. I'm... just used to being a slut. There's... there's nothing heroic in doing what used to come naturally."

"No Lex. No, that's not true, you are not a slut." Clark put one arm around him carefully. "You were facing horrors, and you were willing to go on even knowing what lay there for you. Taking responsibility for saving others is *not* being a 'slut'. Do you really believe that? Believe that you're that way?"

Lex sat stiffly for a minute, then leaned into Clark a little. "I don't know anymore, Clark. I kept thinking... that it'd be okay if I did that. I've had some pretty good days recently, really good days, and... I don't know. Things like that don't last for me. But it does for other people, so why not try to make sure they get the chance?"

"That's not being a slut Lex, that's more like being a... sacrifice," Clark murmured to him. "Things can change for you, too."

"Yeah." Lex kept his eyes down, looking at his hands. "Thanksgiving was... really nice. Even with what Lois did. I kept thinking about that."

"You deserve to be happy, Lex. More than anyone else, you deserve it. You've taken every shitty thing life has thrown at you and turned it into its most positive outcome," Clark took his hand. "I think I respect you pretty much more than anyone I know for that."

He hadn't really expected the intrusion into his line of sight, or into his tactile senses. But he wasn't going to say no to it. All it took was a little shift of his fingers, hardly the motion required to stroke a note on a piano, and he clutched Clark's fingers loosely in turn. "That counts for a lot, Clark."

"The world has let you down, Lex, and all the time you've been doing your best for it." Clark kept his voice low and sincere. "You have nothing to feel ashamed of about yourself. Any shame you feel has been forced on you by others."

Lex just shifted his fingers again. "I just want all of this to wrap up. To be solved, put to court, and done with. I want to go back to pretending that nothing ever happened. Would you let me?"

Clark hesitated. "No, Lex, I don't think I can," he said. "As your friend and someone who cares about you, I want to help you get past this, rather than back away from it. But I won't force you to do anything."

It was funny how everyone seemed to know what was best for him. "I don't know how to get past it. I thought I was, but my therapist was fucking with my head. I really want to take my pills right now, but I don't even know if that's a good idea anymore." Not that he had them. All he had was an arm over his shoulders and a hand in his.

"Lex, you need someone you can trust. I don't think there's any magic solution to this," Clark said earnestly. "I wish there were, but I think it starts with you feeling that you're worthwhile."

"I used to. Until so... someone decided that my charity was a front, and until I had to identify pictures of myself in evidence. It, it's hard to explain, Clark. When your most agonizing, humiliating moments are being picked apart as evidence... I remember how it felt when those pictures were taken, and I remember every *fucking* time Dominic or Morgan made me look at them again. And... and now it's evidence. It's been analyzed, probably dusted for prints, who knows what else. Put in a bag and locked away like it's neat. Like it's over, when it isn't. I didn't want anyone to see me like that. I..."

"It's easier to cope with it as a secret, and try to be normal," Clark agreed. "All this -- it doesn't diminish what's happened to you, but people cope that way when they have to deal with it. Stand at a distance and try and make it make sense. You can't do that. You were living what they're only observing third hand. You don't have to pretend it didn't happen, Lex. I know you didn't want to be seen like that but... It wasn't your fault. Not any of it."

"I don't care that it wasn't my fault." He jerked in Clark's loose grasp, but it was hardly a motion to get away. It was an aborted something, a gesture that never made it past a twitch. "I didn't need people seeing me with... with a coke bottle stuck up my ass. Or getting fucked by t-three men." His voice broke, cracked. There. He'd said it, cold, stark words. It made it feel a little less like a pity trip. "I was just a kid. I'm still that kid, but I'm not anymore, and... I don't know what to do now."

"You let people help you, Lex." Clark pulled him a little closer. "It never should have happened to you. It never should have happened to anyone, but you didn't get a choice in deciding, either. It was cruel, it was monstrous... it was... I don't have the words to express how terrible what they did was. You were just a kid, and they robbed you of that. They betrayed a profound trust, and left you to cope with it alone. You don't have to be alone any more, though."

"I don't know how to let people help me," Lex cut back, a little defensively.

Clark smiled a little. "I noticed. I guess... I guess it boils down to whether you trust someone enough to be honest with them. To feel you can share those secrets locked away." He shrugged a little. "Easier said than done, I'm not particularly good at that myself."

"Yeah." Lex leaned in a little, then murmured, "Thanks for saving me earlier. I didn't want my brains fried out."

Clark went still. "What?"

'What'? Maybe he'd guessed wrong. Lex lifted his head a little, looking at Clark 's face in close profile. No. No, he wasn't wrong. "I said thanks."

"For what?" Clark asked very carefully as if he were tiptoeing around a sensitive issue.

For what? Lex looked at Clark for a minute more, then went back to looking at their hands. "Okay. Never mind. I can take a hint."

"No, seriously, I want to know," Clark asked, his voice having an unsettled quaver in it, which he tried to clear from his throat. If Lex didn't know any better he would have said that Clark sounded afraid.

And it didn't make any sense. If *anyone* should be afraid, it was him. And he wasn't, he trusted Clark. "Your eyes keep changing colors. One minute they're gemstone blue, then they're green again. I recognized you."

"...As?" Clark asked. It was as if he needed to hear the words said, in case he was thinking something totally different than what Lex was about the say. The warm hands touching him had gone a sudden shocked cold,  
and Clark was tensed as if he was going to run.

"Superman." The cold and the way that Clark was trying to draw the answer out of Lex made him go tense, wary. Maybe he'd imagined it. It had been a long day, and he'd been overly hopeful. But he'd thought that Clark had acknowledged it when he'd first gotten to the hospital, with that touch, and then mentioning things Clark hadn't been told.

For a moment, it looked like Clark was going to deny it. To lie. He looked at Lex and fought an internal battle with years worth of conditioning. To be found out was tantamount to death, only... other people knew. And he'd survived that. And he really, really didn't want to lie to Lex. He couldn't explain why, no more than he could explain why he was following the man around like an eager puppy inside of a week, just desperate to be close to him.

He knew. He knew without being told, and that was the culmination of all Clark's hopes and fears tied up in one neat package. He feared it because of the danger and rejection, or that things would change, and he secretly hoped for it because he was a romantic idealist. The person who really knew him, loved him, would know *him* no matter who he was -- Clark Kent or Superman.

"Oh." Words momentarily failed him and he nearly stammered. "You... recognized me?"

Lex didn't know about Clark's internal struggle, so he just looked over at Clark again and then leaned into him more, squeezing his hand gently. "Yeah. Your eyes. And your heat."

"Jesus." Clark exhaled feeling shaky. "You're the first person who's ever guessed. Ever. Jesus Christ."

"You don't sound excited."

"I'm... scared, actually. Really scared."

Lex lowered his head again, still looking down but leaning into Clark like he was the only warm thing in the world. "Why? I won't tell."

Because...

Because -- uh...

"I don't even really know. I just don't know what to say. I guess I'm scared of being rejected or put out on a dissection table. Or that knowing might put you in danger, more danger, and might cause you stress, and..."

He was babbling and he knew it.

"Shhh." Lex twisted, moved to sit up straight and kiss Clark. It was something he wanted to do, something he could control. Up down up down -- the emotional roller coaster was something he wanted to get the hell off of, but he might as well make the best of it.

The night was full of surprises, and Clark had been about to launch forth with more reasons why knowing was a Bad Thing when Lex's lips touched him. Instantly, anything remotely resembling a concern vanished out of his head. Lex was kissing him! His response could have been hot and passionate but instead he guided his instincts to tender and gentle. There was a taste there, warm and sweet between them.

It didn't last too long. Lex pulled back with a sigh, and settled cheek to cheek with Clark, holding onto him as much as he was being held himself. "I like you. I think I might... love you. I don't know. I need more time."

"I'll wait forever for you," Clark breathed. "I... love you."

"I really don't wonder why Winters keeps looking at us like we're crazy," Lex laughed faintly, resting against Clark.

"Our dialogue needs improving," Clark said starting to smile, the impulse growing now that it had been acknowledged. "I can't believe it. You know, and I'm in love. I don't think I've been in love before."

"I, I know I haven't been. Or felt quite this... safe. It's hard to explain." But he felt like he could trust Clark, a deep in his gut, warm trust. It made it easy for him to stay where he was, leaning against Clark and contemplating what they should do next.

"Lex? Clark? Are you two all right in here?"

Chloe with her knack for timing. "Yeah, we're fine Chlo!" Clark called back, almost dizzy with the shock and relief of the pressure of keeping his secret around Lex.

"Yeah." Lex shifted, pulling back from Clark to get the door. Customarily, when someone knocked to see if you were okay, they wanted you to open the damn door, more than they wanted an 'uh-huh'. Yeah and uh-huh weren't very reassuring, so Lex opened the door and smiled at her. "The radio works."

"Better than my room. Theresa is trying to fix it." She looks around, giving Clark a speculative look at the comfortable way he was sprawled on the couch. "You guys got a bathroom ensuite? Nigel, Ed and Ash do -- I'm just hoping they don't all kill each other in there. Or at least someone should get Ash some ear plugs."

"What's wrong with your room that Theresa's trying to fix? Anything we can do to help?" He had to offer, and he wouldn't even mind if she took him up on it.

"Oh, just our radio," Chloe said smiling brightly and taking in the details. "No big deal. Just thought I would come see how you were all doing. Well, Winters thought it would be a good idea."

"Figures," Clark said glancing at Lex.

Lex's eyebrows went up a little. "Yeah. About Winters -- does he seem pissed off right now, or is it just me?"

Chloe perched on the end of the bed. "Stressed as Lana confronted with a dress code that doesn't allow pink to some important function." She smirked at Clark who nearly choked.

"Chloe!" He was half laughing though.

"Well, about time, Clark," Chloe said tilting her head at him. "I was beginning to wonder if the mush in your head had finally taken over so you couldn't appreciate humor. Lana was a girl he crushed on hopelessly for years, Lex. Before he doubled his chances as it were."

That was one way to describe bisexuality, and it made Lex grin a little. "Nothing wrong with taking opportunity where it knocks. Why don't you two play catchup while I find our supervisor?"

Clark looked at him. "You sure, Lex?"

And then he had to lean over and mock punch Chloe who was making exaggerated lovelorn eyes at Lex to wind him up. "Chloe, stop that."

"You are so gone, Kent." Chloe smirked at him.

"You'll be fine," Lex laughed a little, looking at them both for a moment before he turned to head down the narrow hallway. He'd been expecting some sort of gentle teasing after all the touching he'd done in the hospital, and it didn't actually bother him as much as he'd expected that it would.

Being normal was sort of okay.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

There was a kitchen area which would be pushed to fit them all in at one time, but if most of the others had gone to their rooms it wouldn't be too crowded. If he knew his boss, then the odds were the man was there pining for his usual cup of Earl Grey tea. Most of them were creatures of habit in some way or another, and sure enough, Winters was there, alone in the kitchen.

He was staring into his cup with a very haggard expression on his face, caught unguarded and alone.

"Fred?" Lex knew he'd been petulant and standoffish in the hospital, which was just the kind of grief that Winters didn't need. So he pulled a chair up for himself across from Fred, and sat down.

The older man looked at him, a little startled. "Sorry, Lex, I didn't hear you come in. Something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine." Lex gave Fred a cautious smile, leaning his arms loosely on the table. "How're you?"

Fred looked morosely at his cup. "They're definitely bringing in some Earl Grey tomorrow. This is like stewed dead leaves. It's not particularly refreshing, unless you like the taste of mud."

"I don't think anyone's even tried the coffee, so I'm not sure that's a safe alternative. If you want me to make a cup..." Lex offered that, watching Fred's face and waiting for some sort of hint at what was going on.

"No, it's okay. Coffee gives me heartburn," Fred sighed a little and then pulled himself up. "So. How's it going, Lex? With Kent, and after everything?"

"It's... been an up and down couple of weeks. I want to see how things are when life settles back to normal, but..." Lex tilted his head a little, taking in the motion Fred had when he drew himself physically and apparently mentally upright again. Maybe Fred's therapist had taught him how to do that. It looked pretty damn handy. "He's a great guy."

"But I think 'up and down couple of weeks' is an understatement," Fred replied. "I'm sorry if I've been coming on a little heavy handed, but I just haven't been able to do anything effectively recently it seems."

"I understand. And... given what's been going on, this probably isn't the best time for me to be making decisions about my personal life." Particularly since he'd *meant* it when he'd said that he was incapable of managing a normal adult relationship of that type.

"I just worry about you, Lex," Fred said looking at him, his concern clear and evident. "Just that every time I think that nothing worse could happen to you, something does happen. And I've never seen you react to someone the way you're reacting to Kent. I just don't want you to be in a position to be hurt any more. And the irony of it is... I don't actually have any right for any of my disapproval. I'm your boss, not your keeper."

"You've known me for how long now, Fred? I like to think of you as a friend as well as my boss." Concern. It was funny how strange it was to actively process the ideas of friendship. To *have* to take note of those things, because everything else in the world still seemed to be falling apart. "So, question my judgment."

Fred leant back in his chair. "Truth is, Lex, I've rarely known you to be wrong when you've decided what's the case. It's just the fact that he's a reporter that makes me nervous." He frowned again. "I think of myself as a good judge of people, and I like him. But then the Planet did that damn article on you, and I began to doubt. So guess it comes down to the fact of, how sure are you that it isn't about a story?"

"He's done a lot of work for next to no story, if that's the case." The idea still made him shiver to think about, but he wasn't going to, because Clark wasn't going to *do* that to him. "We've talked. About... trying a relationship. A lot of talk about that, and that's probably the most reassuring thing."

"I have to admit, he did seem frantic about you and the others earlier, but then he just disappeared somewhere," Fred chewed on his lip. "I don't know what to make of him. I don't understand how he made it through that explosion so unscathed unless he knew in advance about the bomb. And yet, he managed to pull Superman out of his hat somehow, and God only knows we needed his help."

"The evidence doesn't make sense for you," Lex ventured. "Sometimes, the evidence doesn't work. I should be dead a few times over. But I'm not, despite the evidence."

"Thank God," Fred said fervently. He threaded his fingers together. "I nearly lost all of you to this case. If not for the intervention of a superhero who seems to be an escapee from a comic book or something, I would have. I'll be truthful Lex, I'm sitting here quietly having the shakes. Not just about you, but about Adam, Chloe, Chrissie, Ash and Theresa. And Nigel and Ed as well. I came close to giving in to their demands, even if it would have meant I would have been fired."

"We would've chipped in for your rent until you found another job." He deadpanned that, then went on, while he stood up to start a pot of coffee, "Everyone's scared, Fred. Chloe's cracking a lot of jokes because she's worried about Adam. I last saw Klaus chain-smoking outside. Chrissie's scared for her kids, Ash and Theresa... Nigel and Ed. It... It's not good on anyone, but we're managing, sir."

Fred nodded but he still looked like he knew something that was weighing him down with worry that he wasn't sharing. "Good. Everyone constantly amazes me with what they can cope with."

"It's cope or... well, there's no alternative." Lex looked at Winters from behind as he put scoops of coffee into he dilapidated Bunn brewer. "You look like you need to talk."

"It's nothing we can do anything about. I just wish we'd had chance to sew things up tight before we got put here," Winters replied. "I don't like the rumors."

"Rumors?" Just one word proddings, but Lex knew the technique would work.

Hopefully the water wouldn't taste too bad from the tap.

"Some of the whispers I picked up that make me worry we've conveniently put all the key people in one place like proverbial sitting ducks. Klaus may be right on that score." Winters pinched at the bridge of his nose. "I don't know how to guarantee anyone's safety. That's my job, if nothing else, and I can't do it."

"'Protect everyone' isn't on your job description, Fred, and we both know it. You do what you're supposed to. You provide leadership." Maybe he could brew sugar in *with* the coffee and make it drinkable. "Hey, do you think I can add sugar to the grounds before I turn it on?"

"You can try," Fred replied. He smiled a little. "I just don't want to have led everyone into another trap. I don't want the rumors of another attack to be more than paranoia. I don't want the rumors that your father would even have a way to take down our impromptu helper to be true. But I... just can't ignore it, Lex. But neither can I do anything about it so..."

"All you can do is wait," Lex reminded him as he added just a *little* sugar. Just to test. "And wait for the police to arrest my father."

"I know, Lex. I just don't wait particularly well, as you already know." The older man gave a smile. "As regards the other matter with you and Kent, I'm backing off. I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks. I meant it about the therapist, too. Since my last one just tried to kill me." And that disturbed him a little more than the run in with Morgan. He'd *never* trusted Edge, but he had trusted her for years. That was why it hurt more, scared him more.

"I can imagine that was a devastating thing to hear, Lex," Fred replied sipping his drink. "Mine at least I can vouch for. No wonder you didn't seem to be making any breakthroughs."

"Yeah, surprise, surprise. She said she was being paid to try to make me worse." He rubbed at one temple, watching the water start to drip as coffee. "Have I gotten worse? You've known me for a long time, so be honest..."

"Yes and no, Lex," Fred replied honestly. "You cope incredibly well with things, but you keep people at arms' length. Except Kent. Do you see why that surprised me so much?"

Yes and no. At least it was honest. Yes he'd gotten worse, but no, he hadn't. "Yeah. I do. But he... sort of made me deal with him on his terms. It's your fault -- you made him drive me home. He got a wedge in. And I'm good with it." Lex's mouth twitched. "Maybe I need to make people start driving you home, Fred."

"I learned my lesson with Carolyn and an acrimonious divorce," Fred replied. "I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be ready for that. Anyway, make him deal with you on your terms, Lex, that's my advice."

"My terms involve letting me burn popcorn and watching bad movies. I don't really *have* terms." People usually made those when they were younger. He didn't have terms; he had a mile-long list of 'no's'.

"They'll come," Fred yawned a little. "It's been a long day. If I'm lucky I might get some sleep."

"Good luck, with the caffeine content in that tea. Are you sharing a room with Klaus?"

Fred twitched a smile. "It is a far, far better thing I do now...."

That was obviously a yes.

"Than you have ever done before. Good luck?" Lex laughed faintly. "Tell me if he growls in his sleep. Theresa swears he does when he nods off."

"There are things about my team that I never really want to find out," Fred said as he got up. "You get some rest, too, tonight. You'll be a stiff and sore as anything after the main painkillers wear off, so take it easy."

"Will do. I think I'll steal Clark's laptop, play a few games, and nod off. Will we be alerted when he's caught?"

"As soon as, yes." Fred nodded. "They'll get him, Lex. And soon."

"Great. Wake us all up with the good news." He looked over his shoulder to grin at Fred, and then went back to watching the coffee pot drip. It seemed kind of slow. Maybe adding sugar wasn't a good idea after all.

"I will." Winters nodded and smiled as he set off down the corridor, leaving Lex to his own devices.

Lex's own devices were quiet, waiting and ruminating as he watched the coffee drip. He wasn't sure what he'd do once he got back to the room. Maybe he could steal Clark's laptop to distract himself. He wasn't sure he could take much more talking.

Heading back to the room and reentering, he saw Chloe and Clark talking together, leaning forward as if exchanging secrets of a sort. "...I know, Chloe. But I really think you should," Clark was saying as he came in. "I don't think he's the type of person to make first moves. Especially now."

Lex hung back in the doorway for a moment, two coffee cups in hand. "Chloe, do you want any?" He hated to interrupt, but he couldn't just stand there and stare blatantly as they talked about Adam. At least, he guessed it was Adam.

Chloe looked around. "Oh, hey yeah. Thanks Lex."

He offered her a mug, and then offered Clark the other mug. "I'll be back." And he was going to take his time getting around to it, because he wasn't sure what he was going to do. After all, he wasn't much for giving advice.

"No, no, that's okay," Clark replied. "I don't need any." He looked at Chloe expectantly.

"Oh. Right, yeah. " Chloe looked at him and got up. "I'll just be moving along. Subtlety. Leaving you alone, if you know what I mean."

Lex hung in the door, and just moved back a little. "Real subtle, Chloe. I've been hit with bricks that are more subtle. You're not interrupting anything..."

"...Exactly my point," Chloe grinned at them both as she moved past Lex. "Sleep well guys. Lex, if Clark starts snoring, throw a cushion at him. "

"Sure." Lex moved into the room, eyeing Chloe for a moment before she glanced sideways at Clark, as if to ask 'What the hell?'

Clark just smiled. "Night, Chloe," he said firmly and waited until the door was firmly closed and then seemed to relax. "Sorry about that, Lex."

"Don't apologize. I was busy talking to Winters." And soothing his nerves or at least Lex hoped that he had. "So, what was that about?" He moved towards the sofa again, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Just Chloe being Chloe," Clark said leaning back. "She thinks she's fallen for Adam, and I pretty much told her, yes, I've fallen for you, and she wants to know why I'm not making moves. She thinks I'm reverting to my high school behavior of just never getting my act together to make a move. I tried explaining why things are going at their natural pace, but she thinks it's me making excuses and dangling you on a string." He looked a little embarrassed. "I was pretty bad about that when I was younger. Indecisive, though things were more complicated than that."

Lex settled in beside Clark, holding onto his mug with both hands as he nursed it for a moment. "I understand complicated," Lex agreed. He turned just a little so he could turn into Clark, facing him better. "It's funny. Winters was chiding me for things moving at all, let alone fast. He's worried, about me, about all of us."

"He's a good man," Clark agreed. "I'm glad you've got someone looking out for your interests, even if it is against me. It's just good to know someone is, you know? I can't be everywhere, much as I sometimes want to."

"You show up when it's important," Lex reminded him quietly. "Look. He just needed to be reassured. This whole thing is rough on him. He's the department's big father figure... Which is why I'm sort of confused with Chloe's stance."

"Chloe's got history... well a lack of history with me," Clark replied. "I guess she knows even for all the messing around, I never committed to something I didn't mean, and I would never knowingly harm anyone. Her words, not mine. She knows that my danger to you is more by being indecisive and protective of my secrets. Which is kinda irrelevant, since you know what those secrets are, and she doesn't."

"Yeah. I... prefer things go slowly anyway, so." It was easier to contemplate what Clark's past might've looked like than his own. "I need to sort some stuff out in my head."

"I can imagine that," Clark replied. "So, I can just shut up and let you contemplate, or be a sounding board, or you can... ask me stuff, I guess."

"I like the last two as options." Lex smiled a little, still looking at Clark's face. "But it's been a long day. I... What do you want to do?"

"I don't mind talking," Clark replied and then smiled. "If I can hold you at the same time. But I understand if that's a little too much right now."

Too much talking in one day. Lex shifted, offering Clark his coffee. "Holding sounds fine. I've... had enough talk."

"Then I can talk if you ask me questions," Clark said as he took the coffee and settled into a position where he could pretty much have Lex sitting on him if he wanted, or just leaning into him. "Of course, I might bore you to sleep or something, but that's a risk you'll have to take."

"I could use some sleep right now." Lex laid his head on Clark's shoulder, eyes closing loosely. "You probably do, too. I don't know if you need to sleep, but..."

"I can do without it. But it's nice to have," Clark replied smiling at him. "Don't worry if you fall asleep, Lex. So what would you like as your bed time story?"

"Are you teasing me, humoring me, or honestly offering?" Lex asked wryly.

"A light hint of teasing garnishing an honest offer," Clark replied.

Sweet. Lex kept his eyes closed, settled against Clark as he blindly took back his coffee cup. "Why don't you tell me a story from Smallville? Something that ended well."

"A story with a happy ending. Hmm..." Clark had to think long and hard about that. "Well..." He frowned, actually having problems thinking of a really happy ending. He decided that most people being happy was good enough. "I went through a huge obsession phase with Lana -- the girl Chloe mentioned. It was a classic teenage infatuation. And then there was Chloe, who was like my best female friend who had a massive crush on me. Anyway. In this particular story, things weren't going well on either front. There was this guy Ian... dark, handsome, and very intelligent and going for the Luthor scholarship in a big way... you know the one?"

"Mmmhm." Sure he did. He was pretty sure his dad used it to lure bright young stupid things into LuthorCorp.

"Well, here's the thing. He was failing shop class. His letter racks just weren't up to it, and no matter what he said the teacher wouldn't change it apparently. Now, Pete -- best friend, had asked me to sneak a peek at our scores. He had found out about me being different not too long before that, which wasn't a pleasant experience, but I'll tell you more about that another time." Clark sounded a little uncomfortable with that even as he moved on. "So I did, and in the process saw Ian's grade was a C, I think it was. Enough to lose him the scholarship. Imagine my surprise when our teacher went missing and his grade was posted as an A. Something was going on. Now usually when I started to go looking, I had a partner in crime -- Chloe. Only this time I find that she was ignoring me because she was going out with... you guessed it. Ian. And then, much to my amazement, I discover that Lana is going out with him, too. You can imagine what I was thinking."

"Sure. Cheating around." It sounded like what Lex guessed high school was supposed to be.

"Yeah, only there was a whole load of other stuff going on at the time and I got a bit distracted. A tractor fell on dad's leg and... things were kind of weird with him and Mom because she was working for Lionel at that point," Clark explained. "Anyway, I find Chloe working on a glowing article about Ian the academic superstar, and I try and tell her something is a bit screwy and... well it could have gone better? I made the mistake of telling her that Ian said that there was a Lana connection going on. "

"Which immediately put you in crazy jealous ex-land?" It was hard for Lex not to grin a little -- he'd inspired that sort of reaction in a couple of guys.

"Oh, yeah. I'd had a bad moment with both of them a few weeks before. I kinda screwed up the Spring Formal. Anyway, that's another story." Clark cleared his throat. "I had words with Ian, and he totally ripped me apart me verbally when I confronted him about his grades and cheating. Anyway, Pete and I went to go and get some evidence, to speak to the teacher, Mr. Frankel and we get to his workshop and... his body fell out of a closet on Pete. And then the place set on fire, and I saw this guy Ian running off. So, filled with righteous rage we both headed off to tell Chloe and Lana they were in danger, and stood there aghast to find that Ian had apparently been with Chloe during the near death experience. So of course... I had slipped into the realm of deranged jealous ex-boyfriend."

"Deranged being a small step from jealous ex-boyfriend." It didn't seem like a *happy* story, but it was certainly a little amusing.

"Uh-huh. I went to try and warn Lana, and got the same reaction there. Ian was playing them both," Clark said. "Anyway, Pete and I basically realized that we weren't just dealing with one Ian. We set him up to prove it to both Chloe and Lana -- they were in the process of working out that they had been played for fools at the point where we finally worked out Ian's rather unusual Smallville related mutation. He could split himself into two identical versions of himself." Clark grinned. "This is the point where I expect you to choke on your suspension of disbelief."

"Can't." Lex's answer was drifting, sleepy, but honest enough. "I'm curled up on a guy who flies."

"Well, I couldn't then," Clark smiled. "Anyway, my brilliant plan backfired -- a lot of my brilliant plans did that. Ian turned up and went after the pair of them, deciding to dispose of them to protect his secret. He abducted them and left a supposed suicide note that they were going to throw themselves from the dam. So I run like hell to get there, just as the first Ian threw Chloe over the edge. I couldn't fly then but I just dived over the edge, managing to increase my rate of fall so I hit the bottom first. And then I could catch her and absorb her momentum. Then I superspeeded up to the two and stopped both Ians, even though he hit me over the head with a metal pipe. Lana and the other Ian were dangling over the edge and I caught Lana just as they were falling but the second Ian was already falling and gone. And... Chloe and Lana were both safe."

And both Ians probably died. It seemed like a Smallville sort of happy ending. Good triumphed over bad, the end. "And?"

"And Ian went to Belle Reve as opposed to jail and I... got thoroughly told off by Chloe and Lana," Clark replied. "That used to happen a lot. Still does."

"That's not exactly a happy ending." Happy endings were supposed to be clear cut, or at least strongly allude to some state of happiness. Like... the girls lived happily ever after with someone. Or something.

Lex was only sure that maybe the story would make more sense if he wasn't so tired.

"It was for them. That's what matters, isn't it?" Clark said suddenly realizing that he and Lex were very similar in that respect. "And the experience didn't involve kryptonite, and that's always a good thing."

"Then it's mediocre-ly happy." Belle Reve. He'd almost ended up there. What was to say that Ian really belonged there? Or that since his father had such pull over the place, he didn't... do something. Hurt Ian. Hurt everyone there.

Lex wasn't sure anymore. "Why don't we go to bed?"

"Well, technically, I am in my bed," Clark replied. "But if you don't feel like getting up, I can carry you to your own?"

"Not really. I jut wanted to put my mug down and grab some blankets. If... you don't mind me invading your 'bed'?"

"Of course not," Clark replied sounding more than happy with the suggestion. "Tug the covers off of the bed or something."

"That was basically my plan." Lex shifted, pulling away from Clark to get up and get the covers off of the bed. It was an interesting thing to test -- if he could maintain long term, overnight, contact with another person without... doing something. Maybe it wasn't something that had been ingrained in him or exploited. Maybe it had just been a phase.

Whether it was or not, Clark was more than willing to test the theory as well, even if they were going to be sleeping in their clothes. They would have fresh clothes tomorrow, maybe, and this would see them both through the night barring any unforeseen interruptions.

Or distractions.

It only took Lex a second to get his coffee cup down -- one of the worst cups he'd ever made, in fact -- and grab a knit cotton blanket and the duvet from the bed. Then he turned the radio off, and unceremoniously dragged them over to the sofa. "Lay down?"

Clark obliged, lying out along the couch, making himself comfortable. Truthfully comfortable was a relative term for him, since physical discomfort wasn't really an issue. "Your mattress awaits."

Lex liked the idea of laying down with someone, touching them, experiencing that often hoped and thought about warmth. That feeling of things being right instead of the hollow sick feeling he'd always been left with after sex, which was the usual time that touches lingered and slowed to holding or something like it.

Usually.

It was with a little hesitance that he moved to lay partially atop Clark, dragging the sheets with him. Clark didn't make a noise even as Lex leaned on him, and he helped to twitch the covers across them both. "You comfortable there?" he asked after a bit of shifting around.

Warm. Lex closed his eyes, and shifted so he was sprawled loosely over top of Clark. "Yeah." As long as Clark didn't move too much, he'd be fine. No zero and no pedal to the metal, just a nice easy coasting.

Sure. Right.

"Good. Go to sleep Lex, it's been a long day," Clark murmured softly, even as he settled back and closed his eyes as well. It was a gentle happiness to be in this position, just holding Lex, being with him. Something satisfying, like coming home after being forced to stay away; like feeling the warm arms of family and loved ones and everything that he realized he wanted to preserve.

For Lex, it was everything he wanted. To feel like he belonged, and that there was someone out there who wasn't going to hurt him when he got close, someone who was... really a good guy. A great guy. Who wanted to protect him instead of throwing him to the wolves.

It made Lex hard, and there was something really wrong about that.

It made a certain warped sense. All his fantasies, private or turned into stories where ideals merged with blistering desire, were centered on someone who cared. Someone who protected selflessly. Someone like the Warrior Angel hero. Complex, but idealistic and genuine.

Clark had to notice, but he didn't say anything or move.

Lex shifted, trying to move his leg so it wasn't pounding into Clark's thigh. He still felt ashamed, stupid and a little sick. It was just supposed to be sleeping, and he... he damn well knew that real life and the stories he wrote had very little in common. Sure, he hoped. But that was all.

There was silence for a while and then Clark spoke. "It's okay, Lex," he said, his hand resting lightly on Lex's back.

Lex exhaled a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, and tipped his head down until the fabric of Clark's shirt scraped his skin. "Sorry. I... I can't fucking help it."

"It's okay. It's kinda flattering," Clark replied softly. "But it doesn't mean we have to do anything okay? It's a normal bodily reaction."

"Normal for *what*?" Clark wasn't hard, he didn't feel *Clark* prodding up against him. He couldn't even sleep like someone normal.

"Normal for being human," Clark replied. "I'm guessing I do things a little differently, but my dad gave me the talk once. It was a little difficult to say things like... really? That happens *all* the time?" The smile was audible in his voice.

"Sounds like your dad." Lex sighed tightly, still uncomfortable. "I got a different speech."

"Mmm?" Clark prompted, trying to relax Lex by gently patting and stroking his back in an unconscious imitation of how his mother comforted her family.

"Yeah. The 'I should disown you, you slut,' speech." Lex's mouth tried to twitch into a smile, but he just couldn't manage faking it that much. "Hah. Apparently it wasn't okay if he wasn't making money. I don't know."

"You're not a slut, Lex," Clark said firmly. "Your father should be glad that I don't kill. No matter what. But believe me, I'm tempted, for what he's done to you."

"It's not his fault that I, I can't even enjoy just lying down with someone," Lex muttered, shifting again before he rolled off of Clark entirely, jerking away from those hands. Or trying to.

"Easy, easy... where are you going?" Clark asked blinking a little at the movement.

Trying to was the key word, since Clark wasn't letting him move too far. "I don't know. Out. For a walk. I, I can't... just lay here like this..."

"Why? Tell me why, Lex. "Clark asked still loosely holding him. "What's wrong with what you were doing?"

God, it was like being tied down, and Lex knew better than to fight it too much. "God-dammit. I'm hard and it bothers me to be lying here like that."

"Lex, I'm not going to stop you, but... please, just tell me why it bothers you?" Clark asked looking at him. He released his hold and hoped for a response that wasn't born of desperation.

"I..." Lex shifted to the side of the sofa, putting his back to Clark a little and then pressing back. Maybe that was a better idea. "I, I just... If I ever got hard, it... it was put to use. I... It's been *years*. I..." Just wanted to panic, wished he had his pills.

"Lex, if I promise, swear on my life not to touch you if you do get hard unless I have your express permission, would you believe me?" Clark replied. "Would you be more comfortable? Or, do you genuinely not want to rest with me?"

He had to get around his problems. Had to, even if he rebroke himself in the process of trying to shove past them. So Lex shifted again, and nodded finally. "I believe you."

"Then loop some of the blanket between us and let's take this slowly okay?" Clark said. "There's no rush."

"Tell that to my subconscious," Lex muttered. "Could you... lie facing me? On your side?" That would be pretty comfortable, and since he was on the outside, if they fell off, he'd be the one to fall.

"Sure." Clark moved again. "Sure you don't want to be on the bed?"

"If you think I'm bad on the sofa," Lex joked, "I'm worse in a bed."

"Ah, fair enough." Clark moved onto his side. "Like this?"

Lex turned into him so he was facing Clark, and did just what Clark said about the blanket, fitting some between their hips. "Yeah."

"Okay, that's not too bad is it?" Clark said, curling a little. "Better?"

Curling, yes. That was good, and they had a 'pillow' of bedding between them. Lex slipped his arms around Clark, sighed, and kissed his cheek. "Thanks."

"It's okay. No trouble at all Lex," Clark smiled, only resting his arms gently around Lex with no resistance. "Now let's try that again shall we?"

"Yeah." Lex's heart was still fluttering at a mile a minute, but that was slowing up, and he could feel himself calming as he was just... held. He needed to concentrate on that more than anything else, the feeling of nearby warmth and gentle arms.

True to his word, Clark didn't try anything, or push anything. Not even an accidental rub where there shouldn't have been. Whatever else this grand experiment was, it was about comfort. Clark was better about helping Lex achieve that than maybe either of them had thought, because Lex fell asleep within half an hour.

Clark privately put that down as one of his more notable achievements after the day's excitement. He just hoped over time, Lex's confidence about things would grow as he succeeded little by little.

Once Lex was asleep, getting and staying comfortable with Clark was easy. Without his day to day fears to animate his positioning, Lex settled loosely around, against Clark, burrowing into the other man. That there was a bit of sheet balled up between their bodies seemed less and less important in unconsciousness.

He still had nightmares. But they were thick, foggy things filled with flashes of memory. And every time he surfaced hazily towards being awake, he was surrounded in warmth and a familiar smell. So it was easy to relax in, and repeat the cycle.

Ironically, for all the fact that they were crammed together on a beat up sofa, it was one of the best night's sleep he had had in a long time. He had relaxed to the point that he felt boneless and unwilling to move, even a little. It was hard to describe the feeling that sleeping with someone else who wasn't threatening in anyway did to him.

Clark also seemed more than content to curl with him, relaxing in a way that was rare for him. It seemed that the pair of them would happily lie there forever, drowsy and comfortable, if it weren't for the fact that their work colleagues started to wonder where they were.

Chloe, being Chloe, knocked and waited only a few moments before coming right in. "Rise and shine you two!"

She found the two of them curled up on the sofa, bundled up in blankets. Lex had a hand that had drifted towards the back of Clark's head, and it was only by virtue of his shirtsleeve showing that Chloe even remotely guessed that they were dressed.

Lex gave a sleepy mumble, and twisted in deeper.

"G'way!" Clark mumbled with his eyes resolutely closed. "Sleeping now."

"Uh-huh." Lex blindly reached back with his other arm, and then pulled the blankets up over their heads. Somewhere along the night it had turned from less 'laying facing each other' and more towards 'laying on top of each other'.

"Yeah, well, you slept through breakfast, and we're fast on our way to dinner," Chloe replied. "Winters is beginning to suspect foul play, so he sent in one of his investigators to track down the problem. And I think I can see the problem. It looks like a near terminal overdose of snuggling." She twitched the blanket back. "I swear I'll go out there and call in everyone as witnesses if you don't get up. We nominated Clark to cook."

Lex groaned little, and started to get up sleepily. "Uhn huh. Getting up..." Clark managed to hamper the progress. They were impossibly wound together by the covers and Lex's movement tipped Clark off the edge of the couch.

"Ow!"

Chloe just started laughing at the pair of them.

"Uhn, go on, laugh." After all, since Clark fell off the sofa, Lex fell off, too, although now he had the leverage to stand up, even if he didn't really have the balance or the range of movement.

"I will." Chloe seemed much brighter this morning especially as she was peering down at Clark. "C'mon, farm boy, it's way past the crack of dawn. And you know I'm going to use this to tease you for years."

"Chloe, have I told you recently that you've elevated sadism to an art form?" Clark said, stretching a little, and finally getting up to steady himself against Lex. "And you look awake for you in the morning. We miss anything?"

"They let Adam out this morning." Chloe's smile was brilliant as Lex sort of staggered to his feet and rubbed at his eyes.

"That's great news. He's taking it easy?"

"They're bringing him here. The danger was apparently more from loss of blood than anything else, and we can at least keep an eye on him here," Chloe informed them both.

"No prizes, but guess who's volunteering for that duty," Clark quipped wryly, and ducked a thrown cushion.

Lex stretched slowly. "Why don't you go tell Winters that it was a death by snuggling case, and get it over with. We'll be out in a few minutes." With that, he wandered over to the bathroom.

"We had a clothes delivery this morning, so... I brought some over. Jeans and stuff," Chloe replied gesturing to a pile she had put on the table. "I reckon I picked out ones that would fit so... I'll be going. Clark, you get food duty for later, remember."

"No problem. At least it won't be your cooking -- we've had enough mortal danger for one week."

"Kent, you are so going to regret that," Chloe huffed and flashed them a brilliant smile as she turned and left.

"But my stomach isn't." Clark managed to get the last word even as Chloe disappeared off down the corridor, and he could hear her laughing.

That left Clark standing in the room while Lex closed the bathroom door behind him. It had been a strange night, and Lex had been full of mood swings and then relative calm.

He could hear Clark whistling as he wandered around the room and then Clark said aloud. "Lex? I'm going to steal one of the bathrooms next door since everybody's up already. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

"Sure. I'm just going to take a quick shower." He'd been in there brushing his teeth and mulling over the amusement factor of 'guest' toothbrushes all around. It was like being in a run-down but thoughtful hotel. Tiny tubes of toothpaste, one-use shampoo -- he could pass on that -- and soap.

It only took Lex a minute to shrug out of his clothes, padding across the floor to the shower. He let it run for a minute until it got hot before he stepped under.

It felt good to be in the shower. He liked to be clean. He'd gone through a rather obsessive phase of personal hygiene which had a direct and predictable root in his experiences. He wasn't that bad now, but he did usually like to have a thorough bath or shower and imagine everyone's thoughts about him being washed away.

At least the shower was hot, and he felt clearer headed than he expected. He had actually slept. He was finding that hard to believe. He had slept, and woke up wrapped in someone's arms. Safe. And except for that one hitch... Everything had been perfect. Excepting that one hitch.

He bent to grab the soap; picking the paper wrapper off of it was hard to do while he was wet, and his fingernails slipped the first two times before he got it.

That one hitch was still amazingly present. Lex had rather conflicting feelings about sex in general and recently he tended to go for more the masturbation of the mind that was writing fanfic rather than the real thing.

Lex looked at his body critically, wanting to question why it was inconveniently putting him in the position of having a pressing erection. It was less of a threat now that he was alone, at least. It wasn't as if someone was going to come crawling out of the drain and hurt him. There was just him, hot water, soap and memories. And he had some... okay experience with sex. Bruce hadn't been all bad, even if they had hurt each other. Sometimes.

No, sometimes it had felt good but it never helped, never was what either of them wanted. Needed.

Experimentally, he reached down and sensed for a new set of thoughts in his mind. Of eyes that were warm green or blazing blue and that sweet musk of a scent that was uniquely Clark's. It was just an experiment to see if his body and mind could negotiate towards the peace accord of a decent orgasm.

There had to be a way *not* to think about all of his other memories. There had to be a way to do that, just... enjoy himself, masturbate, and not let it get twisted up with pain and guilt. It was sort of weird, true, that his happy thoughts about Clark's eyes and Clark's warmth and smell were intermingled with memories of the farm, but it wasn't the farm that was making him as hard as a rock in his own hand.

That was something as complex and as simple as the feel of Clark's body and the web of emotional responses he was building to the man. He could remember the feel of him where he touched him. He could remember the smooth hard lines of muscles under the Superman outfit. He could imagine what it might be like to be touched skin to skin, to speculate on what Clark Kent kept hidden under his clothes and how it might feel if he had succumbed to his desires and rubbed slowly against that defined body.

Maybe next time. Thinking about it made him nervous and eager all at once, made him want to wind back time and just... try again. Couldn't he get a redo?

If they survived, maybe he would. They'd have to catch his father soon, and... NO.

No thinking about that.

Lex leaned back against the wall of the shower, letting out a huff of air as he stroked himself more firmly. No, he was going to relax and enjoy himself and think about Clark.

And he was enjoying himself, which came as a surprise to him. Usually if he did this, it was obviously a physical reaction and about as satisfying as sneezing violently. It felt temporarily good, but he soon moved on. Now with thoughts of Clark and how his hand might feel just *there* and would his lips suck on his neck there? His touch would be so light and gentle...

There was a heat building inside of him, he wasn't prepared for. Images were taking over in his mind directing his hands.

Bits from something like one of his stories, every little hoped on, half-thought whim that Lex decided he'd like. It wasn't a very complicated fantasy, but it was nice for Lex. Maybe standing there in the shower, pinned back against the wall, being kissed, with Clark's hand on his dick, soft sweet kisses being shared between them. That would be great, to just have someone that was all pleasure and no pain, something that felt better than his own hand, his own thumb, rubbing over the head of his erection.

Clark had large hands. They would engulf him. He leaned back against the shower wall conjuring the kissing to imagined sensation mingling with the flow of water, hungering for it, imagining the way Clark's hand would move -- firm but gentle. Gentle despite the inconceivable strength that Lex knew resided there. He shivered unconsciously at that thought, his hand moving quicker and more decisively.

Clark's lips would feel better than the drops of water that were hitting his lips just then, better than a teasing tingle. He'd kissed him briefly the night before, and it had felt so good, so warming. Clark made him want to forget how to breath, and he'd caught the other man off guard. If Clark started something...

"Uhn... oh, oh fuck, fuck..." Heat had pooled in his stomach while he fantasized about Clark, and it turned from a pooling to a rush down through his tight balls and out, jerking spurts over his hand as he milked himself.

That had to be his best sexual experience to date. Even if his partner was just thoughts of a man he had known little over a week. Lex gasped a little, breathing in, and let the water carry away the residue as he experienced an uncharacteristic warm glow.

One small problem. It felt like it was an appetizer for the main course rather than the whole thing.

Still. He'd taken care of the problem, he'd gotten a good night's sleep without having to drug himself up, and... Despite that he'd been kidnapped just twenty-four hours before, then re-kidnapped, then rescued, he felt pretty damn good. Tired, but good.

"Lex, you done in there?" Clark called out from the other room. Evidently his superspeed applied to showers as well. "Got some jeans here that look like they'll fit you."

Lex pushed himself away from the wall, quiet for a moment. "Yeah, I'm coming out in a second."

Reality never lived up to fantasy. Ever. Sex wasn't really like that, not in real life. He knew that all too well. Not even when it had been him throwing himself at other people. Not even with Bruce, and Bruce cared for him in his own way. Even then, sex had been a dark and double edged thing.

He was setting himself up for a devastating shattering of illusions but he had made a life from believing in illusions. Illusions like he could make it through the day without falling apart. That his life was worth living. That somewhere out there, love existed, even if he was pretty sure it didn't really exist for him.

He could take love-by-proxy. He could... keep going.

It was easy to shut off the water, and start to towel himself dry as he dripped onto the fuzzy bath mat. There was still the stark reality that when it was all over, Clark would go back to working when Lex was home asleep, and vice versa.

There was no logical way for it to work.

He wasn't going to think about that too hard, not right now. He knew it was selfish, but he wanted everything he could get from Clark. He needed these meager memories to keep him going.

Lex could hear Clark chuckling to himself outside. "If Chloe chose this size for me, I suspect she is doing it to make a point. Either that or she really doesn't have a clue."

"Bad fit?" Lex guessed as he dried his legs off. He really needed to stop over thinking things. Yesterday. Yeah. He needed to go back to just taking things minute by minute.

"A little too good a fit I'd say. I usually wear them a little looser than this," Clark replied. He could hear Lex approach the bathroom door and there was a polite tap then a hand reaching in holding the clean clothes. "Here, take them."

"Thanks." He almost closed the door on Clark's arm, but he could see the reflection of Clark's face in the bathroom mirror, and ...

What did it really *matter*? He'd seen Lex worse than naked, in pictures. Jesus. He really just needed to get over himself. "Where'd these come from?"

"Not sure. Chloe brought them up and I think we've had a load of groceries delivered somehow," Clark replied. "Of course, you and I were sleeping pretty comfortably."

"Yeah." And they had been. Lex dried between his toes, and then picked up the pair of socks. "I'm sorry I freaked out last night, Clark."

"It was fine Lex, you don't have to apologize for it. We worked it out between us, didn't we?" Clark replied. "And I'm glad we did."

So was Lex. Since Clark seemed willing, they could deal with issues as they cropped up, when and if they did. It seemed the best way, since Lex wasn't sure he could sit down and rattle off anything but the most basic and prominent of them all.

It took him a couple more minutes to get dressed and entirely dry, but Lex eventually strode out in clothing that didn't fit him *too* badly. Clark was bending over, tidying up their blankets and folding them up and it became immediately obvious what he'd been talking about. His pair of jeans sculpted around everything with loving attention.

Lex started to laugh because he couldn't help it. It suddenly struck him where the clothing had come from. He *knew* those pants that Clark was crammed into. "They raided our unit's change of clothes lockers," he said with a chuckle. "Adam's never looked so good in those pants, Clark."

"No kidding, he's a much smaller build than I am," Clark replied turning and looking at him. "Mom would be scandalized. I mean, look at this t-shirt. If I inhale too deep, I'll bust it." It wasn't quite that bad, but the clothing didn't leave a lot to the imagination.

Lex looked down at his own borrowed clothes, and tried to figure out whose change of clothes *he* was wearing. Some of them had more than one change of clothes -- he did, because there was always a chemical that had a chance of spilling or something -- and he had to wonder who was wearing his clothes.

"Well, let's get to breakfast. Or whatever it is now."

Clark nodded. "Want to help me cook for later?"

"Sure. I'm not *too* bad at cooking." He still grinned a little, lopsided as he opened the room's door and looked out into the hallway.

"No one in the Kent household is allowed to be bad at cooking. Ever," Clark replied. "We'll surprise them."

"If you tasted the coffee I made last night, Clark, I think you'd decide you wouldn't want me associated with the Kent household's cooking. I burn popcorn."

"Then I will teach you the Way of Martha Kent's Kitchen," Clark grinned. "A secret of the most profound importance. Someday, you too will know the beauty of Pie."

They approached the kitchen that opened out to a living room and as Chloe had described, pretty much everyone was there investigating the boxes of random things that had been brought in to tide them over.

Ash was looking rather horrified as the first item out of his box yielded a bra. "What the hell is this?"

"Chloe's?" Lex offered immediately as he decided to dive right into the chaos. "Whose shirt am I wearing?"

"Mine," Ed raised a hand.

"What the bra?" Ash asked dryly. "All yours Ed." The offending article was flung across the room. Considering his face was a mass of bruises and he had spent the night with a couple, he was remarkably happy.

"I guess that's okay since Ash has my pants." Lex muffled a yawn and pulled up a chair, scanning the faces of his co-workers. Yeah, they were an astonishing group of people when he thought about it. Everyone seemed okay, compared to just over half a day earlier. Even Winters looked better after a night's rest.

"We can sort it out later, though Clark doesn't have any spare," Chloe said with a smirk. The way most of the room was looking at Clark gave a hint they weren't in any hurry to see a change.

"Yeah, thanks for these, Chloe," Clark replied raising an eyebrow.

"Trust me Clark, it was absolutely all my pleasure," Chloe responded with a slight smirk. "Now that you two have finally joined us, we can have a discussion."

Lex leaned against the back of the chair he'd grabbed, and glanced from person to person. "Discussing what?"

Winters cleared his throat. "They have a difficulty in making the last charge stick Lex. There is a lot of implication and your own testimony, but right now Lionel Luthor could potentially slip the net."

Lex drew in a quiet breath. "*How*? Get him in for twenty-four hours and just put him through the ringer. The head of his security kidnapped me from Morgan Edge! That's *another* thing that's more than just implication. It ..."

It was inconceivable that Lionel was going to get away, and possibly kill them all in revenge.

"Lex, you know what he will do with that. We've seen it happen more than once. He'll either hush up the source or make it appear they were working on their own," Winters said. "We need to work out what the brokering point is. None of the others had ties to it. In that lay the secret. There were no apparent connections between any of them ... except you, so any suspicion dead-ended pretty quickly. But there has to be a large source somewhere."

"Someone with the resources to re-sell," Lex agreed. "And that would *be* my father. Can't you get a warrant on the suspicions and...?"

"Ordinarily yes, but if we move on Lionel Luthor and hit the wrong spot, then we'll have lost our chance. If he thinks we are at that stage he'll sever all ties -- most likely in a terminal fashion. At the moment he thinks he's clear, and is focused on concealment rather than cutting his losses. The moment we move, that will change."

"Something like what he accused you of Lex is actually a logical brokering point," Chloe said apologetically. "I know it's not true, but a charity like that would be able to do that relatively easily."

Even though Chloe was speaking in apologies, Lex's jaw still went tight. "Great. I'll keep that in mind in case I ever lose my marbles and decide to do something unbelievably evil." Maybe it was easy for all of them to toss that idea around, but they didn't *understand*. He'd been in that situation. He... couldn't stand to think of doing it to anyone. It made him feel physically sick. He wasn't going to snap at her, he wasn't. None of them needed that just then, and there wasn't any point in sharing the misery. "The only charity he runs is a scholarship."

"There's not something still in your mother's name that he might have infiltrated is there?" Theresa asked.

"Huh. That would be just like him," Ash said. "Hiding behind some other cover."

"She cut him out of her will." Lex shook his head, rubbing at his temples. That had been what had *let* him walk away, in the end -- she'd given Lex everything that had been hers, tucked away into a trust fund. Shares, stocks, property, money. "There's nothing."

Clark rested a hand on Lex's shoulder, recognizing this was a difficult subject for him. "Do we have to do this now?" he asked quietly. "What are the odds of Lex knowing any more than the rest of us?"

"He knows how his family thinks," Winters said gravely. "What they are capable of doing. More than we are -- that is invaluable."

"Are you familiar with 'The Prince'?" Lex glanced up at Fred for a moment. "That's how my family thinks. You could call it the family guidebook, even for my brother. Even... my mother took a few pages from that book." Killed Julian to give him the mercy of a life free of the abuse that had been inflicted on her eldest son. He didn't like to think about that anymore than he liked to think about anything else. He'd been about to cover for her, too, but then Lionel had come in and...

Lex closed his eyes for a moment, mentally shaking it off. "My father is capable of anything."

"How about Lucas? Could he be in on it?" Ash asked. "Otherwise we're up shit creek without a paddle."

Lex shook his head. "He resents my father too much. I had a talk with him just a few days ago about him worrying that dad wanted to bring me back into the family."

"In which case are you sure it wasn't him who tried that with your charity Lex?" Theresa asked, frowning. "Because that would have pretty much taken care of that side of things for him, if it had worked out."

"No, it..." Lex rubbed at his face. "You're seeing it too simplistically. Take away the life I've made for myself, destroy what I've done, and the only option I have left is to go back to my family."

"Ah." Theresa nodded at that clarification. "Okay."

"Manipulation as an art form," Ash commented. "He must be ghosting. So what type of organization could he be pulling the strings for that might supply something of this magnitude?"

He didn't know, and he felt like he was committing some massive failure because he didn't know. Lex's eyes drifted, looking down at the carpet as he thought. "I don't know. I try to not keep up on him."

"Well, what sort of institutions deal with children?" Chloe said. "Schools, Charities like Lex's, um..."

"Places like summer camps, that sort of thing," Theresa suggested

"Runaway hostels would be ideal for it," Ash said morosely. "Volunteer Church organization maybe?"

"They would have to answer to checks, so would adoption agencies," Winters said. "So they're probably out."

Clark noticed Chloe's frown at those words, and his eyes widened a moment. "Excuse me? Can I just have a private word with Lex a moment?"

"Of course." Winters was eyeing Clark again, almost suspicious, while Lex turned around to look at Clark.

"Sure. We'll be back in a second. You guys... keep thinking."

Clark half steered Lex out of the room, out to the corridor where no one could hear them, trying to work out how to explain things. He could have blurted things out there in the room, but it felt like he should talk to Lex first, if only to make sure he didn't make any mistakes and expose Lex to more trouble, or his parents. Chloe knew some of it, but not all of it, he was sure about that.

Lex eyed Clark as he was steered, and finally asked, once they were off in the distance, "What's this about?"

"Your father has ghosted an adoption agency. Remember what I told you about them thinking I was Lucas?" Clark said, looking at him, holding Lex's arm. "God, how to explain this? On the day of the meteors Lex, I came with the bombardment, in a pod-like ship. It's still in the barn at home, I'll show you but … you know what Dad said about rescuing you? The reason he hates your Dad is because your dad arranged for me to be "adopted" legally through that agency, and then promptly turned around and blackmailed him into getting his friends to sell up. Lucas was also pushed through the adoption agency. Chloe managed to get into the records to see that much, but then heavy duty encryption blocked her out."

"What was the agency's name?" That was it. It was *so* easy. That was going to be it, and all they'd have to do is get the records and bam. His father would go down for what he did. Lex was pretty sure that his eyes lit up like a pinball machine.

"Metropolis United Charities Adoption Agency," Clark replied. He looked a bit pale. "If your father had happened down the road before Mom and Dad..."

Then maybe Clark would've become the next one. Lex's mouth thinned and then he leaned in to hug Clark loosely. What was he supposed to say? 'Well, he didn't'?

"Jesus. Okay, so maybe they do some legitimate adoption in amongst the others but you think its just coincidence?" Clark asked.

"Adopted out my brother, adopted out you..." Lex shrugged loosely against Clark. "I wouldn't call either of those legitimate."

"True, but I don't want Mom and Dad in trouble over this. You reckon it will be enough that they took the adoption in 'good faith' and that I could have come from anywhere? Which is true."

"Since you're an adult, you can vouch that your parents didn't do anything wrong." Lex didn't pull back just yet, still holding onto Clark. "Let's go back."

"This will end, Lex, this is the last piece isn't it?" Clark said, leaning close. "After all this time."

"I hope so." And Clark apparently wanted to sit on it to keep his parents safe. Or at least, that was Clark's first reaction. God. Lionel was willing to kill them all and fry Lex's brains out, but...

"I just wanted to check you were really okay with this, with taking your father down," Clark asked, oblivious to his thoughts. "Because you know he'll probably go down fighting and a lot of that is going to be directed at you personally."

"I don't care anymore." Lex pulled back, looking at Clark. "Let's go tell them. Please."

"I care. But you're right, it's yours to tell Lex," Clark agreed, even as he turned to walk back with him. "Chloe will remember."

"Good. I know Lucas might even step up." Lex could feel all eyes on them both as they finally re-entered the main room, but he kept his expression stern.

"We figured it out."

"Go on..." Winters encouraged, sitting up a little straighter in anticipation.

"My brother was 'adopted' out -- basically slipped into the foster care system in Edge City -- by Metropolis United Charities Adoption Agency. Clark was adopted by his parents through ... Metropolis United Charities Adoption Agency. His parents found him abandoned the day of the meteor strike, came across my father and me... and helped us. As a favor to them, my father made their custody of Clark legal."

"Lionel Luthor is involved with this Adoption Agency?" Winters sat up.

"Oh, hey yeah, I remembered this," Chloe added, her eyes brightening with excitement. "Clark and I... Well, I did some research and I managed to hack into it a long time ago and get out his and Lucas' name, but then it was encrypted. There was a woman claiming that Clark was in fact Lucas, but the DNA test showed he wasn't. I didn't know it was Lionel Luthor's agency."

"The point is," Clark interrupted, "Is that my case could have been typical. I had no apparent parents -- I can only assume that they were killed at some point during the meteor shower for me to be wandering around like that, and thank god that it was Mom and Dad, uh, the Kents, who found me. I could have easily been registered into the adoption agency and then been placed exactly where needed. I would be legitimately within the system and yet could have been placed anywhere at the discretion of the agency, like Lucas. From what I know of his history, his adoption situation was less than ah... ideal. He was lucky in that one of his caretakers actually cared for him enough to get him out of the place he was assigned. Then he ended up as a semi street kid."

"We have two cases of Lionel laundering kids through the place, one of them his own son. That's... clearly the link." So what if he sounded desperate? He needed his father to be caught, locked away. So he couldn't hurt them again, or not without a lot of work.

Winters exhaled, smiling. "Good work. That seems to be the best chance we have. Looks like we won't be staying here that long after all, people. Make the most of the time off, I'll pass the message on and get the day shift to kick in the warrants as soon as they've done their groundwork. We are going to get a case closed on this one."

Thank god.

Lex hung back, watching the grins spread from person to person. And then, life would go back to normal? He could be the lab tech that got things glued to his hand, again?

"But until then, we're going to be alert until we have confirmation of an arrest," Winters said, and then twitched a smile. "And Mr. Kent is going to cook us a celebratory dinner for tonight."

"Can he even cook?" Ash asked dubiously.

"Sure he can," Chloe promised. "He's a Kent. Kent's can cook -- I think it's a rule."

Nigel looked dubious from where he sat beside Ed, but Chrissie's oldest boy piped up, "Do we get dessert?"

"Sure," Clark replied not looking at all nonplussed at the thought of preparing food for so many people. "What do you want?"

Lex pulled up his chair again, and sat down tiredly. "Maybe you should check to see what you have to work with before you ask that."

"A good point," Clark replied. "I'll make something, don't worry."

"Then this impromptu meeting is at an end." Winters looked around. "Try not to wreck the property, and no going outside. Better safe than sorry."

Klaus sighed as he stood up. "If someone needs me, I'll be smoking in the bathroom."

"I'll make a mental note," Ash said dryly and looked quickly at Ed and Nigel. "Think I might go back to the room and watch some TV or something."

"Your TV set works?" Chrissie stood up, too. "Can I -- can the kids watch something with you?"

"Yeah. Sure. Um… Actually, Ed, Nigel would it be better if we moved the TV set into the kids room?" Ash suggested, getting up. "And then you two can, you know... have some privacy."

Chloe stretched. "I'm going to get the spare room ready for Adam. He'll probably be here in a couple of hours."

Theresa nodded. "I'll give you a hand."

Clark looked at Lex, puppy-dog hopeful. "Want to help cook?"

"Sure." Since everyone else was going their own ways, essentially leaving Clark, him and ... Fred, to sort of flail and kill time. And Fred was going to start getting work things rolling.

"C'mon then, let's raid the cupboards and see what we've got," Clark said and steered him away from the departing throng. When they were in the kitchen, he guided Lex to a chair and encouraged him to sit. "Lex, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just... I don't know. I'm glad it's going to be over." It was hard to look up at Clark when he felt so unreasonably morose.

Clark coasted a gentle hand over Lex's neck. "I am too, for your sake. I love you."

The words came easily to Clark after that first time. They made Lex smile a little, looking up at Clark. "Yeah. Can you make me stop moping? I feel like a shit right now. Let's burn something for the unit."

"May I kiss you?" Clark asked with a smile, sounding like he was in period drama, but his amusement cut through the strange formality of the question. "It may help with the moping. That's just a theory, but it's one I think is worth testing." He was also making an implicit statement that nothing about them was going to be hidden away like a dirty secret.

Which was novel, since Lex was the master of dirty secrets. He didn't answer with words, but leaned up to kiss the man who was bending down to him. He had to halfway get out of his chair, but that was fine. Clark moved, stood up for him so that lips pressed together more naturally, hot and gentle.

It was like the kisses he imagined in the shower and as that taste and heat seeped in through him, the scent of curious sweet musk in his nose and mouth, some of his black mood began to fade as Clark's soft lips opened to him if he wanted to push things further.

He'd kissed like that before. Kissed deeper than that, but never sweeter than that. Lex couldn't remember kisses like that that didn't start or end with some sort of heartbreak or pain. But that didn't happen with Clark, even as he pressed, tongue slipping against the edge of Clark's lips while he pressed him backwards against the counter.

Clark gave way to him, allowing himself to be pushed back, and inviting Lex's tongue in for further exploration. He made a noise as if he was appreciating something, and his arm slipped around to cup the back of Lex's neck.

Hot, hot and so good. Lex moaned a little, leaning in more so he could really *feel* Clark as he wrapped his arms around the other man. That was what he wanted when he kissed and was kissed. Just like Clark had been, every single time.

It could have gone further, very easily, but instead Clark broke up the deep intensity of the single kiss and turned into fragments of that rush and sweetness by kissing again and again, never going to the point where either lost control. They did lose a lot of time to standing together, engrossed in the art form they made of kissing. Lips tingled with the rush of blood, the pounding of their heartbeats dizzying as they tasted each other, their exhaled breath drying the tender surface of their mouths before they kissed again -- up until the point that Clark drew back and smiled at him with a look in his eyes that Lex had never seen directed at him before.

It was more than fondness, more than protection. Maybe it *was* love. Lex smiled back, took one last kiss, and then pulled away, feeling light-headed and a little breathless. "Thanks."

"You're incredible," Clark said, looking a little flushed from reaction. "And you're saying thanks? I may never recover." He grinned at him almost giddily, as if he had been drinking.

"That doesn't seem so bad." He had to make himself step back just a little. "Let's see what we have for ingredients."

It turned out to be a random collection of food ranging from ground beef to some chicken and vegetables of all types. Clark stared at it all for a while.

"Stew?" Lex suggested as he rolled a tomato over the countertop.

"I'm not sure. What do you have in the cupboards there?" Clark asked and Lex reached up to take a look.

"Tomato paste, salt, pepper, a dead cockroach..." Lex sucked in a breath, and shifted the cans away from it.

"Aha." Clark turned around. "How do you feel about Mexican food? Bring out the tomato paste if you like it."

Lex grabbed the can of tomato paste that was farthest away from the dead cockroach, and closed the cupboard. "Do we have tacos?"

"A sack full, by the looks of it. And I have the beef and chicken to do something with, and onions and peppers. I need some garlic and chili, and ... see what other seasoning we have, Lex?"

Lex opened another cupboard, waiting for a dead rat. No dead rat, but nothing that Lex guessed was too appropriate. "Cayenne pepper and Italian seasoning."

"Cayenne will do." He rummaged in a drawer and pulled out random pots. "Garlic powder, not as good as fresh but, I should be lucky we have it at all. No chili but Cayenne is near enough. Ginger...nah, but I'll keep it out. Paprika ... hmm, yeah I can use that."

He ended up going through the cupboard, pulling out everything and making exclamations when he found something of use and putting it to one side. Clark looked genuinely enthusiastic about cooking and Lex couldn't help but remember his healthy appetite when he had been at the Kent farm. Though the excitement Clark showed at finding a small packet of wizened looking extra-strong chili peppers was a little over the top. There was a mountain of ingredients on the side and it looked like it was going to take forever to prepare, let alone cook.

Clark looked at the pile and then at Lex thoughtfully. "Could you, um, keep an eye out for any of the others a moment?"

 

"Guard the door?" Lex suggested as he moved to both block the entryway and peek out. "Sure. I'm not much of a cook..." And since everyone seemed pretty well occupied, they just had to be on the lookout for Adam arriving back, Chloe waiting nervously, or Fred.

"Oh you'll be cooking but..." There was a blur and a sensation of rapid movement before Clark stopped in front of a neat pile of prepared and chopped food.

Lex stared for just a second, and then started to laugh. It suddenly made it seem so much more *real* that Clark was Superman and Superman was Clark, because SuperClark had just speed chopped everything. Including that tomato he'd been rolling around on the counter.

Clark grinned at him. "I'm going to have so much fun with this and you knowing," he said. "But, it's still best to cook longhand so… come and help me cook some of this stuff? Gives it a better flavor."

"Just stop me before I burn anything. It usually takes me a few tries, and I don't think we have the ingredients or the time to let me blow things up a couple of times." He still looked down the hallway again, one last time, before he ducked back into the kitchen to help Clark.

"I'll keep a close eye on you," Clark promised, beckoning him over to share the top of the stove with him where he had some oil in a frying pan already heating. "In all ways possible."

"I like the implication of that," Lex decided as he grasped the handle of the pan and looked for what Clark wanted to throw in.

Clark nodded and began to cook in a way that showed that even if he wasn't Martha Kent's son by blood, he was in spirit. Perhaps it was the fact that years worth of helping in the kitchen lurked in his mind with perfect recall, or just that he had special advantages when it came to knowing things were cooked or needed just a little longer, but the filling for the tacos -- three different types, no less -- were bubbling away merrily, even as he cooked the potatoes and then made them into wedges, which he put in to roast in large baking trays with a hint of paprika on them.

Somehow he made up salsa dips, cheese concoctions that would go with it and all the time he was laughing and joking with Lex, getting him to try little bits of what they were eating and hovering close to him as if being more than a few steps away from him was just not something worth considering.

It was ... fun, and Lex felt normal for just a little while. It was like watching a movie with Clark -- mindless, carefree fun, and Lex didn't think about anything bad happening or any fears while they bantered and teased and tasted foods.

Clark even managed to make pie for dessert, though he claimed to be not convinced that it was entirely up to his mothers standards as he had to use canned fruit - apparently that was a crime of incredible magnitude. By the time it was coming up to dinner, there was a veritable feast ready to serve, a fact that was oddly satisfying.

"You think we'll surprise them?" Clark said, having speed cleaned all the cooking utensils and the kitchen so things were ready to serve.

Lex was busy counting them out, half aloud, and nodded. "Entirely. I bet they're waiting to find out that we ordered a pizza. In fact, knowing them as well as I do, I bet they're starting a betting pool on it."

"Want to bet they're making a bet?" Clark asked smiling as he set the table. "Would that be Ash that does that?"

"And he sets the odds. He's good at it, too." Lex lifted his eyebrows a little as he set out the dishes of sauce. "Hey, will you be all right here? I want to run and check in on Adam."

"No problem, you go ahead," Clark turned his attention to the pots and pans. "Fifteen minutes and it'll be ready to serve okay?"

"Okay. Keep the pie in the oven." Lex parted not with a kiss, but a lingering touch to Clark's hip. If he started to kiss him, he damn well knew he wouldn't be leaving anytime soon.

He caught sight of Clark's smile as he left and had to admit, his barriers did seem to be coming down little by little. But first, he wanted to see Adam, now that he was sure Chloe had stopped her initial fussing over him.

The only problem was that he wasn't entirely sure what he should be saying to him.

'I'm sorry'? 'Thanks'?

Maybe both. He was grateful for the distraction Adam had given, even if he had been re-kidnapped. Just ... maybe he should mention his appreciation? Lex mulled it over as he walked towards the room and paused to knock.

He shouldn't have been surprised that it was Chloe who answered the door. "Oh Lex, hey. Adam was just asking about you, come on in."

"Thanks. Dinner's going to be ready to serve in about fifteen, so I thought I'd warn you and ... see how you're both doing." Adam still looked like he was laid out, and he probably needed to stay in bed. No doubt Chloe would honorably volunteer to eat dinner with him. Because clearly, from the way she was smiling over at Adam when Lex entered the room, it was *such* a hassle for her.

This thought amused him as he turned to study the object of her affection carefully.

Adam, on the other hand, seemed to recognize that Lex wanted to talk alone. "Chloe, would you mind getting me something to drink?" he asked. "Some ... milk perhaps?"

It was such an atypical thing for him to ask for that Chloe was midway through frowning and about to ask why he wanted milk when she connected that it was the one thing that she would have to leave the room to get. "Right. Right, got it," she said. "Might take me a while to hunt some up. Back soon." She gave Lex a smile and left, closing the door behind her.

"Have a seat, Lex."

He didn't have to pull up a chair since one was already notably pulled up to the bed already. If anything, Lex had to move it backwards just so he wouldn't be on top of Adam. "That was a stupid thing you did, Adam. And ... I'm glad you're okay."

"I have a history of doing stupid things, Lex. I'm sure Winters might have mentioned it once or twice," Adam said, shifting himself up. "I'm glad that someone succeeded where I failed."

"Succeeded in what?" Lex almost wanted to stop Adam from sitting up, but he didn't. Adam was a grown man.

"In protecting you from Morgan Edge and your father," Adam replied. "My efforts were, as you say, stupid and ultimately useless. But that doesn't mean I would have done anything differently."

"You shouldn't have done it," Lex countered. "But... I know it's the kind of thing you do."

"Why shouldn't I have done it Lex?" Adam asked wincing just a little as he moved to another position.

"Right there. You got yourself shot in the side. You *could* have been killed." And he wasn't worth getting killed over. Particularly when he'd already decided what he'd been planning to do. "Do you know how much you would've been missed?"

"Do you know how much you would have been missed if that had been your only chance?" Adam countered.

"Look, you guys would have gotten over it." Probably pretty quickly, too, he thought to himself. Like he'd guessed at the time, he at least would've had a nice funeral turnout. "I... I don't know what to say to get you to understand, Adam. I wasn't worth taking that risk for, and although I appreciate it, I'd also like to hit you for taking that risk."

"Listen to me Lex. The only person who can choose whether or not someone is worth giving a life for is the person giving the life," Adam replied. "If you want to hit me, feel free. I'm hardly going to be able to stop you. But you are my friend."

Lex wasn't entirely sure if he had ever heard Adam explicitly refer to anyone as a friend before. Adam paused a moment. "And anyone I call friend deserves everything I can give them."

It left Lex sitting there, feeling quietly stunned as he looked at the other man. It was... wasn't what he'd been expecting from Adam. He wasn't sure what he *had* been expecting, but it hadn't been that exact reaction. "But, you... your *life*, Adam. You have a lot to live for. And Chloe's..."

"And things I can't live with in myself. One of them being standing by and watching someone go to the proverbial 'fate worse than death'. If Chloe does indeed love me, then that's who I am and she will have to deal with that," Adam explained.

"But it isn't as if I haven't *been* there before," Lex pointed out. "You saw. It wasn't anything new to me. It wasn't anything to get yourself killed over."

"It was precisely because you had been there before that I had to act," Adam said firmly. "Ignorance of a crime is one thing, but knowledge of it and a failure to act is..." He shook his head. "Accept that people care about you Lex. Sometimes you don't get a choice in that. Of course, you don't have to care back if you don't want to."

"I care. That's why I'm still irked that you did that. I didn't want to have any of you hurt, and I was trying to figure out what would cause the least damage." Lex sat back, eyes intent and serious as he looked at Adam. "I guess I understand."

"It's not always you that has to make the sacrifice Lex. And it won't be. I heard about the break in the case." Adam was gazing back at him, his eyes dark, and a little dilated from what Lex could only assume to be painkillers.

"Yeah. Maybe things can go back to normal soon." Lex smiled faintly. "I miss just showing up for my shift, working my brain and then going home."

"You have someone else to fit into that schedule now, I hear?" Adam replied trying to find a comfortable angle to rest and only partially succeeding.

"Possibly," Lex agreed easily. "Not sure how it'll work but... Clark 's a nicer guy than people give him credit for."

Adam acknowledged that point with a nod of his head. "I'll apologize to him. I was... hasty in my reaction."

"Hey, it's sort of nice to know that someone's looking out for me. It's been a hard couple of weeks. I know any decisions I was making were probably less than rational."

"I didn't notice any significant difference," Adam said wryly.

Lex grinned at him, and started to get to his feet. "Well, *that's* good to know. I think Chloe will probably be coming back with some dinner for you, along with that milk. We're all glad that you're in one piece, Adam."

"God help you when I can move around," Adam said. "I'm a terrible patient."

"Most of us are. On the bright side, I'm not sure you'll be much of a match for Chloe." With that, Lex moved to pull the door open to slip back into the hallway. It felt like part of a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because it was normal, what he'd tried to do back there. And maybe knowing, from yet another source, that he was out of line to think that he wasn't worth the effort.

Either way, it was time for him to knock on doors and get people to dinner.

From the smell of it, Clark had started serving and there would be a lot of very hungry people ready to eat the product of their labor. Even he was slightly amazed to discover that he had something of an appetite.

*****

 

The radio was still working, still playing dance and trance mixes that Lex had long ago grown familiar with, or at least, the various parts of the mixes. When there were only sounds as a distracter, the eyes needed food, too, so Clark and Lex had fiddled with Clark's laptop for a while. It took some doing, but Lex was going to convince Clark that he too could write shitty stories and post them online when he was done amusing himself with them. It was a distraction, and he and Clark tossed banter back and forth until the laptop had to be recharged and set aside. Leaving them with the radio and the sofa again.

It was easy to settle back into the comfortable positions they'd discovered the night before, even as Clark continued protesting. "I don't even know what I would write?"

"Just promise me that you'll think about it," Lex urged as he shifted to lay a leg against Clark's. His mind was moving from writing and over to reality with each passing moment, and it was all Clark's fault. Just like when they'd been in the loft, and things had just shifted in his brain, from the topic to sex.

"Sure, I'll think about it. I just... well, it's hard you know?" Clark replied. "It's real to me. What it feels like to be that person. It doesn't feel like fiction or a story."

"Because you do those kinds of things." Lex's mouth twitched as he shifted minutely, kissing at the edge of Clark 's mouth. "You'd end up over identifying. Maybe it's better if you don't then."

"Mmm. But on the other hand I see these stories and find myself thinking, no, that's not the way it works at all. Nobody is invulnerable. There is always something out there that is more powerful, you can't assume otherwise." Clark stretched a little.

"That's what makes it a comic book." Lex stretched, too, pressing against Clark. It didn't take much; he got hard around Clark at the drop of a hat, if he was touching him too much.

"Yeah, but they tend to gloss over the details. Every hero has some vulnerability right?" Clark continued. "Well I have that. Kryptonite. I can't even begin to explain how agonizing that is. But that isn't the worst of it. The big threats are less tangible. There's a reason I have a costume like a comic book hero Lex, it's because people have preconceptions about them. Good preconceptions. Dress in primary colors like a moving target and lo and behold you are one of the Good Guys."

He seemed to be tolerating the movement against him.

"It's funny how it works like that. Get in a lab coat, and people think you're a humorless nerd." Lex leaned a little to watch Clark's face, and gave a less than subtle shift of his hips. "It's all about conditioning."

"Uh-huh." Clark reached for his face again, a gesture he was particularly fond of, unable to ignore that movement. "What are you doing Lex?"

"Running an experiment?" Lex suggested a little lamely as he leaned into that touch to his face. "You feel really *good*."

"Yeah? So do you. Just be glad I have this weird ability to will away prominent reactions," Clark replied. "Feeling I'm fine with it but… it's a little soon to be doing that, I thought?"

"I don't know what to think, Clark. What I know is that you feel good, and I feel like I can trust you. Why don't we just... see what happens?" What was happening was that he was as hard as a rock against Clark, and could already feel his body shifting to amp it up.

Clark looked a little discomfited. "Lex, it's too soon, from what you were saying. You wanted me to stop you doing this sort of thing."

"Yeah, but..." It wasn't like he was going to get *better* without trying, right? Or something like that. He was an adult. He had urges, he'd *always* had urges, they'd just scared him for so long. And now he wasn't so scared and that didn't seem to make any difference to Clark. That was probably because Lex's own perceptions of things were skewed.

"I just want this to be right for you Lex," Clark murmured. "If you want to see how far you want to go with touching? Test the waters sort of thing?"

Lex made himself stiffen, holding still long enough to stop himself. Idiot. Nothing could make you feel like an idiot faster than jumping the gun. If he thought about it, he'd done the same with Bruce. Jumped the gun, so to speak. Jumped the Penis? "Sure."

"Easy there," Clark smoothed him again with his hand. "You can keep doing what you were doing if it makes you feel good. There's no pressure Lex, just you and what you feel ready for."

"I don't know. I..." Lex shifted, trying to let arousal seep to its close cousin -- at least for him -- seeking comfort. "I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not cut out for this."

"What do you mean Lex?" Clark asked softly leaning a little to brush his lips against his skin. "Not cut out for what?"

Lex exhaled a little, concentrating simply on that sensation. "This. Relationships. It..."

"I told you, we make our own rules."

It seemed a little asinine, but... Lex wanted to believe that Clark really believed that. And time would tell him whether Clark meant it or not. "Right." Lex breathed that, then shifted into Clark again, faintly. Not rubbing, just seeking simple body-to-body warmth. Steps, maybe... he should take it in steps. "I really wish I had my pills right now."

"You don't need the pills Lex," Clark replied. "You've managed not to have them and the last few days have been really stressful."

"And I've been a wreck." Lex shifted his arms, loosely hugging onto Clark more than caressing him. He liked that, just doing that, even if it was probably strange and juvenile of him.

"I think you've been coping really well, compared to how most people would be," Clark offered him the soft praise. "Seriously." He was of the opinion that Lex needed comfort more than anything right now, but his background of abuse had made him confuse love and comfort with sex. So Clark would be willing to bet that 'Love' had been made conditional on how well he performed in sex. Which would explain why Lex went off the rails seeking something he was never going to find in pure physicality. It was going to take a while to break that habit.

"I guess." Lex moved faintly closer, until their faces were almost touching, until his loose hug was much tighter. "I wish I could hide."

"Why, babe?" Clark murmured the endearment without even thinking. "Why do you want to hide?"

"I need a break?" Lex laughed faintly. The endearment caught up with him after the fact.

"I'm sure if you needed the time off, Winters would give it to you," Clark replied. "But you said you wanted to go back to work, get things back to normal." Clark reached for the covers again twitching them up onto them both. He didn't need the warmth but Lex seemed to appreciate it.

Lex hunched his shoulders in, nodding. "I guess, then, I mean, I want a break. For life to give me a break."

"You deserve one," Clark agreed. "If anyone does, you do. We'll make one happen yeah?"

"Yeah." Even if he wasn't sure about that, why not agree to it? No harm done by trying to be hopeful and happy, warm and comfortable. Lex knew he needed to concentrate on that, on the little things again, living a decent life, doing his work, his charity, and letting things just fall into place. And he'd be able to do it again, soon.

Just as soon as they arrested his father.

"Tomorrow things will change Lex, really change for you," Clark said softly.

"Things will go back to normal. You'll go back to working your job. I'll probably never see you again." Logical, quiet fears that bubbled to the surface as he lay settled comfortably against Clark. He hadn't meant to say them, but he had -- after all, Clark had *two* jobs. Clark and Superman. Important things, and he didn't fit into that picture well.

"You've been worrying about that?" Clark asked, kissing him gently again. "I think we can find a way. I don't intend to let things slide." Giving soft kisses that excited Lex just a little.

Given Clark's reaction to him being excited, it was probably a bad thing, but Lex pressed the kiss back, lips parting a little. He'd believe it when it happened. Kissing was definitely something Clark responded to and for an extended period of time, their conversation disappeared under the heat of kisses that warmed them both through and let time drift past unnoticed.

It was nice, even when Lex found that his hands had wandered to pull up Clark's shirt, baring skin to his palms. He broke the kisses, flushing a little as he looked at Clark's face. "Can I...?"

"You can do what you want Lex, I'll just hold myself from doing anything to you except kissing. Then you can just... stop if you feel uncomfortable." Clark said, his eyes darkening with a hint of arousal that he couldn't completely quell. "I... would like it a lot, but you don't have to."

"I want to. It's... frustrating if you don't react. I..." He pulled back a little, but it was mostly to unbutton Clark's shirt from the front.

"I think I'll be reacting somehow Lex, just hopefully not by being overwhelmed with desire. Which is how I generally feel when you touch me," Clark grinned. "I'm trying to be good."

That made Lex smile a little as he pressed his palms to Clark 's chest finally, wanting to stroke and feel the muscle that he'd already seen lurking beneath the spandex that left nothing to the imagination. "Just don't be as stiff as a board. It freaks me out."

"With you moving your hands like that, I think I'm going to melt," Clark replied sincerely. He half lidded his eyes, relaxing and smiling to himself.

"I've had some experience in ser-- making people feel good." Lex still managed to smile a little as he coaxed Clark to lie on his back, and moved with him, looming over him with the blanket covering his shoulders.

"I want you to feel good," Clark replied, looking up at him. "That's what I want if you decide you are ready. I want to make love to every part of you. I want us to do what you want to do so I know you'll feel good. I don't want bad memories there, so you will have to tell me what freaks you out."

"Might be easier to tell you what doesn't," Lex joked weakly before he leaned down to kiss Clark, palms pressing over Clark's nipples before his fingers slid up to his shoulders, caressing.

"Mmm, tell me?" Clark asked dreamily. "Please?"

"Kissing you." And that was it. He knew he could *do* things, all sorts of things, but there were bad memories stuck to everything. Avoidance wouldn't get either of them very far. And he wasn't sure how to say something as strange as 'I masturbated thinking about you, and didn't want to throw up'.

"That's a start," Clark said and opened his eyes. "I could kiss you all over. Do you think you'd like that?" He smiled up at Lex.

Clark had such attractive eyes, no matter what color they were at the time, mild mannered green or Superman blue. He had pretty thick lashes around them, and Lex had a strange urge to kiss his eyelids. He was just too beautiful to have been human and he couldn't understand why no one else saw it or felt it when he walked in the room. "I think I'd like that."

"Good, I would too. You taste wonderful when we kiss. I expect every part of you tastes wonderful. Lex, have you ever had anyone... I don't know, has it always been you having to do things? Or take it?"

"Both. Everything." Lex took another kiss. It was certainly a comforting action, particularly when he could knead warm muscle under his hands. "What were you going to ask?"

"I was going to ask if anyone had ever tried to please you, before?" Clark asked getting distracted enough that his control on subduing his erection faded a little. "I mean... I'm not sure what I mean."

"Not... really. Bruce and I were rough, and that's as close to … to something real as I've gotten. It doesn't count when someone's trying to 'please' you and you're ten." Lex licked his bottom lip, faintly nervous as he leaned back a little, sitting over Clark's hips while he started to take his own shirt off.

There was a flash of blue in Clark's eyes, iridescent and fleeting in his reaction to that. "When you decide we are really ready I would really like it if you… uh...topped. At least to start with." There was a hint of embarrassment in Clark's tone as he spoke, watching him.

"I..." Lex's mouth twitched a little. "I'd like that. I'd... like to try both ways, but, you..." Lex finished unbuttoning the shirt, slowing down for just a moment as he dropped it beside the sofa. "You're so beautiful."

"So are you," Clark said, reaching out for the pale skin ahead of him. "Lean and ... God, yes look at you!"

Lex leaned forward, not letting Clark look for long as he pulled the blanket over his shoulders again, and leaned down to kiss Clark again. "I'd rather look at you."

"Flatterer," Clark kissed him again, his reaction becoming more obvious as he was distracted. He'd never known anyone so enamored of kissing as Lex and he decided he liked it. "It's the middle of the night and you should be getting rest and instead you have the energy for this? Too much spice in those tacos."

"I was going to blame the sugar in the pie." Lex leaned his hands against Clark's shoulders, rubbing, caressing and smiling at him. "It's hard to not be awake in the middle of the night for me."

Clark's skin had that strange tint of sunshine to it even in the middle of the night, a hint of golden tan that flowed over muscles that were hard and smooth. His body was a tactile feast and it seemed that Clark's resolve not to respond too much was eroding, as his own hands started to stroke and play over Lex's skin almost unconsciously.

"The night is beautiful. One day Lex, I'll take you above the clouds and you can see the moonlight sculpting worlds of dreams in the sky," Clark murmured. "There are so many things I want to share, to show you."

"I'd love that." Another kiss, and Lex shifted down just a fraction to nip at the edge of Clark's jaw. His skin even tasted faintly different than what Lex expected, really very human.

"Anywhere you want to go - Sunrise on Everest, the secret Lakes in the Mountains of the Moon, where the Nile has its birth or perhaps Rome, Japan or anywhere? There and back again in a few moments," Clark grinned. "Day trips to AngelCon in Tokyo?"

It was distracting, and sweet, enough to keep Lex from getting too deeply caught up in the feeling of a warm muscled chest against his own. And it made him laugh against Clark's chiseled jaw. "You know how to get a guy hot, I can tell. 'Yeah, baby, let me take you to comic book conventions..." Once he started to chuckle, it was hard to stop. "I'd love to."

Clark couldn't restrain his own chuckle. "Irresistible huh?" The pair of them were lying there half naked, skin-to-skin and laughing. It was somehow incredibly intimate for all that there was no overt expression of desire. "Stick with me Lex, I'll give you... comic book signings!"

Lex ducked his head down, lips pressing to Clark's shoulders. "Heh, what if I hold out for resin statuettes, huh?"

Clark pretended to frown. "Do I get a moment to think about that?"

Yeah, he'd have all the time he wanted to think about it. At least if Lex had anything to say about it, since he wanted to have Clark around for a while. Just to see what happened, just to see how well it worked. "Yeah. You get--"

A thunderous crack of some sort of explosion tore the rest of Lex's words away, and the ground and room shook with the violence of some nearby impact. There was a moment of complete shock even as car alarms in the street started to wail jarred by the concussive force.

"What the…" Clark concentrated a moment, still holding Lex as he listened for a reason behind what had just happened. "It's an attack Lex! They're setting to explode the entire place. They've hit... the downstairs." He listened some more, trying to assess what to do before leaping in blindly.

Lex leapt off of Clark, tripping up in the blanket for a moment. "Oh, fuck -- what'll we do?"

"Give me a moment." Clark blurred and seemingly instantly Superman replaced him. "I'll go out and try to stop them. Can you get the others somewhere together and I'll get you to safety? Might have to do it one or two at a time. The Department maybe?"

"Yeah, sure..." Lex grabbed his shirt, jerking it on hastily and buttoning it incorrectly. "We'll try to get out of here, and ... be safe, okay?"

"I'll be back for you shortly Lex," Clark said moving to their window, his eyes now that 'Superman' blazing blue with anxiety and anger at the danger they were in. "Tell them Clark ran off to try and contact Superman or something."

There was a burst of gunfire and he turned. "Later."

And in a blast of air sucked into a sudden vacuum, he was gone, out of the window to try and draw the attention of their attackers. Leaving Lex to turn towards the door, jerking it open to see if he could gather the group together to run, or if they were already on the move.

There was smoke in the hallways, and already he could see his work colleagues staggering out of various rooms even as another thump shook the building. It sounded a little like a muffled explosion of sorts, and then more gunfire.

Ash emerged from his shared room, looking mussed. "What the fuck is happening? Ed, Nigel for Christ's sake, hurry up!"

"Clark jumped out the window to see if he could get Superman. Let's get *out* of here," Lex stressed. "Someone get Chrissie and her kids, we're going to try to head for the department building!"

"Fire downstairs!" Theresa called up coughing, "I think they are shooting at the window. Klaus is returning fire I think."

"Oh, Jesus." Lex grabbed Ash by the arm just as Nigel and Ed came out; Nigel was armed and ready, it seemed. Even off duty he was on duty and ran to back Klaus up. "C 'mon, c'mon -- we should at least split up!"

"I'll get Chrissie!" Theresa yelled as the waft of smoke became stronger. There was a nasty suspicion in Lex's mind that if they tried to get out of the house they would be picked off one by one.

The house shook to another brilliant flash of light that seemed to shatter most of the windows with an ear splitting noise.

And maybe they'd all be picked off one by one while they hid there. There had to be a basement or a cellar or someplace secure in the building, or else it was a shitty hellhole of a safe house, Lex decided as he ran to the room that Adam and Chloe had been sharing.

All he hoped was that they weren't naked when he knocked their door in.

Chloe flung open the door, evidently not naked. "You have a gift for timing, Lex. I can't move Adam alone and macho man here insists he can walk, but I wouldn't even call it a stagger. What the hell is going on?"

"We're all going to die. If we don't get out of here, but I think we'll be picked off if we go out. So let's just get moving. Adam, hold still, damnit -- I'll help. Chloe go help Chrissie, Theresa and Ash. Klaus and Nigel are returning fire, and Ed, too, probably."

"Should have known that they'd have had someone bring their guns," Chloe said, half running up the smoky corridor. She turned her head and yelled back. "Where the hell is Winters and Clark?" before she disappeared into the smoke.

"She's right, you... should find Winters," Adam said, struggling to stand.

Lex moved to grab his arm, dragging Adam upright. "He was sharing a room with Klaus, so if Klaus is returning fire, he's definitely awake. C'mon."

"I'll slow... you down," Adam replied showing for the first time that he definitely needed recovery time. "Place is on fire and…"

Another explosion rained debris at them as the ceiling cracked. They had to be using some sort of mortar shells. God only knew why the house hadn't caved in already. Maybe Cla - Superman was stopping the worst of the impacts. He hoped.

"That's not good."

"No shit." Lex started forwards faster, dragging Adam a little. "I'm not going to let you die." Adam was allowed to be stupid; Lex was allowed to be stupid too. And he had faith that they *wouldn't* end up dead. There were police around the perimeter, and Clark, and their own three guys, maybe four if Winters was shooting back, too.

They made it slowly, too slowly to the hallway, navigating rubble and feeling fire below. "Lex, in here!" Winter bellowed to them both "We're in here and Superman's out there. Chloe you're next when he comes back..."

"The hell I-" Chloe began and was interrupted by Ash.

"Incoming!"

There was another explosion and the house seemed to twist and throw them with the impact.

Lex barely stayed afoot when Adam stumbled, and dragged him up quickly, breathing hard as he hauled Adam, whether he was willing to go or not, into the room that Winters had called from. "What's going on? Fred?!"

"Looks like Kent got hold of Superman again, though how he survived getting out there into that firefight I don't know," Winters replied wiping at his forehead and flinching as Klaus returned fire out of the window. "He's taken Chrissie and her children and Theresa and ..."

There was a blue and red blur then Chloe -- who had been standing there about to protest that she wasn't going anywhere -- was gone.

"...Chloe to the Department. Only problem is while he's doing this, we're getting the shit kicked out of us. Even if it is only taking a minute or so each time."

"If everyone gets out of here," Lex said as he started to get down low and lowered Adam with him, "We can regroup from the department, getting our asses kicked or not, Fred. We can't stop the attack."

"I was going to tell you Lex, they're serving the warrants right about now," Winters ducked a little and crouched to see how Adam was. "You were right, the Metropolis United Charities Adoption Agency was a front and your father's fingerprints are all over it. This has to be his last ditch effort to stop the case."

Adam leaned against Lex, breathing unevenly and pain related perspiration beading on his forehead. "He... Superman... he knows his weakness."

"Who knows whose weakness? What weakness?" Lex kept Adam up, ready to drag him off at a moment's notice. "I should, shit, does someone have a phone on them? I could call Lucas, maybe..."

"Your father," Adam replied his voice barely audible over the noise. "Friends in other department said... it's why Superman hasn't caught him yet. Warn him Lex. He'll be prepared for Superman somehow." He looked like he was going to say more when there was another blur and Adam was gone too.

How *could* he when Clark kept zipping off like that? Fuck. Lex twisted towards Winters, Klaus, Ash, Ed and Nigel. "Any of you have a phone?"

"Here," Winters tossed him his. "Ash, for Christ's sake stay down!"

The gunfire ripped through the room and smoke rippled in under the door even as Ash threw himself down. "I was just looking! A whole group of them have just peeled off, they're heading away somewhere," he reported

"Great," Lex muttered as he caught Winters' phone, kneeling on the floor as he quickly punched the numbers in to call Lucas. All Lex wanted was his brother to be awake and not drunk out of his mind just then. Even woken out of a sleep would've been fine.

The phone rang, and rang, and eventually picked up. "This is...a fucking bad time," Lucas answered in a hushed voice. "Only reason I'm answering is because I was looking for this fucking thing."

"Yeah, Lucas? It's Lex." His own voice was muted and he kept a hand cupped over the receiver. "Call the head of dad's security detail, and get the attacks called off. Dad's going into jail and he's trying to kill my department and me. We're being attacked!"

"Yeah well, as soon as he stops trying to shoot my ass, I'll make a point to do that Lex," Lucas replied and for a moment it sounded like gunfire wasn't just outside, but on the phone as well. "Fucking hell. Just as well they can't shoot for shit."

Oh, God. Lex shot Fred a panicked look, and then muttered into the phone, "Tell him that Lionel's going to jail, and you'll buy out the contract!"

"I don't ... think they're going to listen. Lionel knows it was me who resurrected the hidden tracks to the Adoption Agency. He tried to deep six it a couple of days... Whoa!"

There was a crackle of noise and sounds of some sort of a struggle.

"Lucas! Shit..." Lex kept on the phone, but moved closer to Winters. "He's trying to kill Lucas now, too."

"Our protector there is being kept busy," Winters nodded out of the window, to where they could see Superman braving the hail of bullets and explosions to try and stop the fire. He had evidently realized that leaving even for the very short turn around it took him to pick up and drop off would be all the gap their attackers needed to get at the people in the house, especially if he started to remove their defenders. He was turning the tide against them, however, slowly but surely for all their hi-tech weaponry.

"We just have to hang on. I..." Lex peeked up long enough to see out, and then crouched down. "I hear sirens, and now you can see the lights. The Swat team's showed up." God help those men if they'd killed any of the men who'd been guarding them. Cop-killers didn't usually get to a trial in Metropolis.

There was a crackle from the phone. "I'm... going to fire the whole damn lot of them." Lucas's voice said suddenly, a little breathlessly. "You still there?"

"Still here. The swat team's showing up here."

"Good. I think I'm going to be able to get things under control here, but you've got to know, that somewhere, they've got what dear old dad called the Overkill missile. I think they were meant to pick you off one by one and make sure you were dead, but if in doubt they were meant to launch this thing. And raze the area."

"Oh, fuck. Thanks for the warning." Lex hung up, and reached for Fred's shoulder. "They have a missile to raze the area if things go south."

"Tell me you're kidding?" Winters looked reasonably alarmed. It wasn't every day that you faced a *missile*. "I don't see anything down there that looks like it could be big enough to take out a house?"

Ash looked at them. "Yeah, but the bigger vehicle headed out didn't it? Which would mean they are going after the CSI building."

"Like a mail bomb isn't enough." Lex looked at Winters' phone, then shoved it towards Fred. "Call ahead, get them out."

Fred nodded and took the phone even as there was a final massive thump that hurled all of them across the room, flames billowing around them. Debris rained down adding to their various cuts and bruises but when it stopped, there was a sudden and noticeable silence. No gunfire, no other sounds.

Lex was flattened to the floor, and there was something over him, but he wasn't sure what it was -- it could've been another person. But it was one too many blasts on a couple of weeks, and Lex lay still for a long moment. Maybe it was silent because they were all dead. Maybe he was dead, or deafened by the blast that seemed like it had already hit all of them

He felt the pressure on top of him lift.

"I seem to be making a habit of this Mr. Luthor." Clark's Superman voice said that, and then Superman was reaching down to pull him up. "You and your companions seem to have minor injuries only."

He felt his heart stutter for a moment, and staggered to his feet. "Great. Thanks... sir." He had trouble not looking at Superman with awe, even if his awe wasn't for the same reason that most people had it. Clark was okay. That was all the more awe inspiring for the fact he had been lying with him cracking jokes and thinking about sex only a short time before. "Half of them left..."

"I know. I am going there now. They have not yet reached their destination." There were scorch marks on him but otherwise there was no sign of any impact. "I needed to make sure you... all of you were not hurt before I left. The SWAT team is currently working to secure the site."

The grip on his hand lingered just a moment and then Superman turned and strode towards the window.

Lex just stared, lingered a moment. Clark was okay. Clark would come back after everything settled, and ... He really wanted everything to settle down, just for a little while. "Thanks..."

It didn't matter if Clark was already gone. Lex stood there for several moments, then turned to look away from the window for Nigel, Fred, Ed, Ash and Klaus.

Ash was leaning against Ed and groaned. "Don't take this the wrong way sir, but I'm thinking of getting a hazard pay clause put into my contract."

Winters was looking a little bit dazed as he half sat on a rubble-covered bed. "That's not such a bad idea Ash."

 

"Should we wait until SWAT shows up?" Lex asked, stumbling backwards a little. Klaus peeked up slightly, and nodded.

"They'll be up in five. They just have to secure the area."

They sat in stunned silence a moment, numb with the shock of it all. Under an hour ago, Lex had been lying on Clark, testing his comfort levels and edging towards what might be a rather profound change in his life. And now here he was surrounded in chaos and destruction.

"You reckon that last one was the big missile?" Ash said suddenly. "It could have been right?"

"Could have been. The way Lucas described it, it should've killed us all." Lex leaned back against the wall, looking down at them all. "It could've gone in the second ... the group that split off."

"Well, I hope he was wrong on that," Ash said, shivering as the cold air swirled in from the smashed window. Every now and then there was a distant crack that sounded like a thunderclap and a flash of bright light that stood out even over the normal light pollution of the city. "Somehow I don't think that's fireworks."

"No. No, it isn't." Lex closed his eyes -- his father had tried to go out with a bang, and in the process, really had sealed the case shut. He must have realized the evidence was exceptionally strong against him. It would have been hard to run a convincing case with all the evidence razed to the ground and all the witnesses dead. But no innocent man went to those lengths to defend himself. Lionel was going to be hung in the court of public opinion, and then quite possibly hung for real. Well, if they lived in Utah maybe.

They could hear the sounds of people moving their way up the building carefully and eventually what was left of the door was pushed open by a heavily outfitted officer, who immediately turned and called out. "Up here sir! They're here!"

The man stepped inside the wrecked room carefully. "Sorry to keep you waiting -- are any of you hurt?"

Nigel glanced to Ash and Ed, then over to Lex and Klaus, then Fred. "No-one badly. We're all beat up, but Superman got the most vulnerable of us out before the attack got too bad."

"Good. He's giving them a hell of a fight out there. It's not far from your department by all accounts," the man said and headed in. "Can you all walk, or do we need stretchers?"

"I think we're fine," Winters said. "You haven't seen a reporter anywhere out there? He got out of the house to get hold of Superman to hold them back. He would've been in the middle of that firefight."

The other man looked alarmed. "I'm sorry sir, I don't believe we've found anyone. Are you sure he was out there?" The implication seemed to be that anything out there hadn't stood a chance.

Except he had stood a chance, and Lex, knowing that they thought he was probably obnoxiously optimistic, spoke up. "He left to contact Superman, so I'd guess that Superman got him to safety, too."

"Yeah... yeah Superman would do that wouldn't he?" Ash agreed sounding relieved.

"As long as his Reporter's instincts didn't bring him right back," Winters said. "Okay, lets get out of here, I want to see how the rest of the team is back at the department."

"That sounds great." Lex was willing to follow along, follow the lead of Winters and the SWAT Team as they started to thump down the smoldering stairs. He'd find Clark there and then he could just relax and maybe go to pieces. No man was supposed to expect his father to do *that*.

Lionel must have been desperate, which meant he was as convinced of his guilt as anyone else. There were some scandals you just didn't come back from and a child porn ring was one of them. Ordinary sex scandals were practically good publicity in comparison.

But to go after Lucas as well -- perhaps he thought that the pair of them had conspired against him, with Lucas digging up that information. It looked like his half brother had chosen a side after all. Even if it was his own side, he had allied himself with Lex. Perhaps the reason was because Lex never actually did anything to him. Possibly he was the only person in the world to treat him that way.

They stepped outside into the drifting haze of smoke and devastation. It was easy to see why the SWAT team was not hopeful for the survival of a man in this area since it looked for the world like a war zone. Out here, the distant booms of the continuing battle were louder and seemed to be reaching a sort of frenzy.

Frenzy against Clark. There was no reason for Metropolis, his city, hell, Lionel's city, to become a war zone like that. No reason at all, but there they were, standing on the collapsed stoop and walking forwards in a tight cluster, looking up at the sky for signs of what was going on.

It was the light that reached them first. Unlike the other explosive bursts that looked like enormous fireworks at this distance, the light burst and blazed high in the sky magnesium flare bright tinged with a pulse effect of a ring of green. It bleached away the night and then the sound roared across the city, the explosion powerful enough to buffet them all with a fast moving concussive wave of air.

That was it. *That* was what Lucas had mentioned, and Clark...

Lex went stiffer than the rest, though everyone was looking up at the sky, at the light, even though that was probably madness. You didn't look up at explosions, right? Not if you were sane. It could've been toxic or... but it was so high above the city. There was no reason for it to be that high.

Unless it had been aimed at something, or someone in the sky.

"Fucking hell!" Ash blinked. "Was that over at the Department? That could have leveled the city block!"

"It looks like it's over by Sherwood Street," one of the SWAT guys rattled off. Lex felt his heart seize again.

"I live over by there..." Why would it have gone off over by there? Clark, or...? He didn't know, he *hated* not knowing what was going on. Fuck, he needed his pills, because his heart rate wasn't going down.

"If it's still standing," Ash said bluntly. "Christ. You think that was Superman? What else could it be hitting up there?"

"Had to be Superman," Lex muttered a little hollowly, still looking up while the sky slowly faded back to darkness in the afterburn. "Jesus."

"We still better get back to the Department and check on everyone," Winters said after a long pause. "Can we persuade you to give us a lift back to CSI?" he asked the leader of the SWAT team.

"I think we can swing that." The man replied. "You guys are probably out of the safe house now, what's left of it. Luthor is in jail." It made Lex wonder for a moment when he stopped twitching whenever someone said 'Luthor this, Luthor that'. He didn't even think of himself like one of them, that visceral reaction to the name, thinking it might've been him, was gone.

The only visceral reaction he was having was wondering if Clark was okay. A green glowing missile... "Great."

"The squad cars are over there," the officer gesture. "If you'd like to make your way over, we'll get you where you need to be."

They were all meandering over towards the squad cars, and Lex just kept looking up. His sixth sense was telling him to not go there, that if he was looking for Clark he wouldn't be at the department. He'd be back over where Lex lived, near the light flare. He...

Maybe he was dead. Up, down, up, down, things just never stopped on the non-stop roller coaster of his life. Lex glanced over to Fred's retreating back and then walked over towards the road. He'd walk to a main road, hail a taxi down. Bear with it. He could do it, because he had to find out how Clark was.

It never occurred to any of his work colleagues that he would walk off. Just as it had not occurred to Winters that Clark would walk off when Lex had been hurt and he had nigh on accused him of being obsessive.

Clark wasn't the only one who could become obsessive it seemed. Lex had more years of practice after all and a lot of practice at finding his own way. Was Clark alive? Was it even possible? He was strong but how strong? What had been that pulse of green? There were too many questions in his head. How could this happen just when things were getting *better* for him, despite everything?

Holes had been ripped in his reputation, his humiliations had been laid out for people to see, he'd been kidnapped, exploded, shot at, kidnapped again, almost electrocuted, it... It left him fried and clutching at what he still had. And what he had was Clark and all of the hopeful feelings that Clark stirred up in him. He couldn't just give up and walk off. Not away from Clark. Clark was hope, Clark...

Clark was worth standing on a dark night trying to hail down a taxi, but not any possibly threatening motorists.

He finally managed to get a lift back to his apartment, not really registering the driver's idle chatter. It wasn't a long trip in terms of distance, which was just as well as he had little in the way of cash on him, but it was delayed by a lot of area's near where he lived being closed off due to shattered glass in a lot of buildings and over roads from the concussive force of the explosion.

In the end the driver had to admit defeat and let him out a couple of blocks away.

So Lex walked. No coat, just his borrowed shirt and borrowed jeans, and his own shoes, thankfully, huddled in on himself and walking fast to try to get home and see what had happened. Had to see what had happened, had to find Clark. He really wished he knew what had happened to his cell phone.

There was still glass everywhere and a smell of explosives in the air. He hadn't worked in CSI for 9 years without being familiar with those scents. He was pleased and rather amazed that despite the fact the explosion must have happened near to his building, it was still standing, although it looked like a lot of people had broken windows.

He looked up finding the glint of sharp edges where his window should be. Including him more to the point. Maybe if he went in and changed into something a bit sturdier he could go out looking and see if he could find Superman … Clark.

The elevator would be down, but that was okay. Why not walk up the stairs? It might warm him up. People were outside, milling about the way they always did when something happened, trying to figure out what was going on and how the windows had gotten blown out, and what that lightening sharp flash was, and ... and, and, Lex kept walking. Get dressed then get searching, kept running through his mind.

At least he had a key.

He opened the door, feeling the draft of the smashed window even before he turned on the light, and pushed and locked the door automatically behind him. He became abruptly aware of a metallic smell in the air and turned to see the absurdly vivid red splash of tattered red fabric half covering a prone heap on his floor.

Immediately, he knew who it was.

"Clark?!" That was why his window was smashed, that... He moved, not caring that he was cold, to the heap. "Clark?"

It was with a growing horror and panic that he realized that some of what he took to be the red of the cloak over the carpet was in fact blood. There was no actual movement from the body, but now he was closer he could see a mass of jagged-looking shrapnel that was gleaming with a peculiar green glimmer that the wound around it mimicked in distorted flesh. It didn't look good. Superman was evidently not invulnerable. But Clark had said that, it had just not been something that he wanted to believe.

"Clark... You're not going to die on me, you bastard." Lex shifted to his knees, dropped, so he could reach for that first jagged piece of shrapnel and take it out. What was he supposed to do, call 911?

It came out with difficulty, but Lex could see the spot where he had just pulled it out, very, very slowly lose that twisted contortion of green and start to heal before his eyes, albeit with barely visible speed. Unfortunately it was by no means the only piece of the substance in there. Ed would no doubt call it some sort of grenade explosion, if he were doing an explosion-tracking test on it from the peppered effect of the fragments. Whoever had designed that missile had known exactly what they were doing to have the worst effect.

There was... scatter, almost. Lex clutched the piece for a moment then chucked it towards the window that Clark had knocked out. He'd have to get a new window, anyway. It looked like a task of pulling the pieces out of Clark and then he would get better? It was as good a hypothesis as any.

He could do that. The small bits would need tweezers or something but... he could pull the larger pieces out by hand. And quickly, before Clark lost any more blood. Superhero or not, losing a lot of blood wasn't good for anyone.

He knelt, picking the obvious bits out and flinching as he rolled Clark over. He was shredded. No one should even be alive with that but he could see Clark breathing slowly, and as he removed more of the fragments, there was more evidence that Clark was alive despite appearances to the contrary.

A groan mixed with a gasp emerged from Clark, as Lex tugged at another piece.

He could keep doing it. Would keep doing it. He flung that piece away then reached for another to pull out and fling away. Then he'd run to the bathroom to get tweezers, and probably a flashlight to go hunting for those deeper fragments.

He was so absorbed that it came as a profound shock to have a blood covered hand reach for his arm.  
"Lex..."

"Don't move. Just don't move, okay?" he pulled a piece out of Clark 's shoulder then flung it away. "Just lay still, I don't want you to die on me. You, you can't die."

Clark coughed a little, looking too weak to even make the appearance of pain or agony. "Hurts..."

"Shh ... I, I guessed..." Lex's fingers were starting to shake, with exhaustion and cold and fear, but he pulled out another piece and then decided it might be easier to get Clark out of his suit and maybe dislodge some pieces that way. "Hey, does this thing have a zipper? I think it's got this green shit imbedded in it..."

"Pull... rip off," Clark managed, his eyes closing a moment and drifting away.

Rip? Lex shifted his fingers to Clark's neck, and pulled at the material like he was going to be fighting a really tough bag of cereal. "Stay with me, Clark. You're going to be okay."

Without Superman's influence the material did rather surprisingly rip and come clear. Its removal drew Clark to consciousness, and a painful consciousness at that. "Oh… god... fuck, Lex... Lex… please!" Clark groaned, his body shook in kryptonite-induced pain as veins writhed visibly under affected skin. "Hurts..." That was barely a whisper as if he was trying to be quiet.

He pulled it off of Clark's chest, then pulled his arms out of the suit, peeling it off of him as best as he could. "Hang in, I'm trying..."

He didn't stop until Clark was stripped naked, his Superman outfit bundled and then hidden in the bathroom where he found the tweezers and some cloths, towels and water so he could see where he was probing under all the blood.

It was very strange to see the skin and muscle practically reforming under his fingers as he pulled the bits out, having to ignore Clark's increasingly vocal reactions as his strength grew with each removal and his pain impinged more on his consciousness

"Ahhh! AH! Lex...Lex! Shit!" Clark followed his exclamation with a whimper that was oddly out of place. He couldn't stop himself. It hurt. It hurt like every cell was trying to explode and dissolve his nerves in acid and fire.

"Shhh ... Everyone's up and trying to figure out what's going on. They'll hear." It was taking work, but slowly he was turning Clark's immobile, battered body to something that was pained but closer to functioning. Soon there were just a few slivers left, then none at all.

Clark was panting by the end of it; perspiration beading his brow as he lay sprawled naked on the floor of Lex's apartment. Somewhere his physique had remerged in an impossible reversal of the shredded mess he had been some time before. At last, though, Lex could stop the painstaking work.

He couldn't quite... pass out on the floor. Except that he *could* and it was easy. Laying down, cold, stressed and exhausted, loosely hugging Clark and hoping he'd be all right.

Clark opened an eye to the warm weight that was on top of him even as he heard the phone ring and the answer phone kick in.

~"Lex, it's Winters. If you're there, pick up the damn phone. We've been looking all over... Lex? Look. Phone in will you? Speak to you soon."~

Lex was oblivious to all of it, having worked himself into exhaustion. Clark contemplated the possibility of actually moving and found it very remote, but Lex deserved more than to sleep sprawled on the floor like this so he made a supreme effort. He managed to lift Lex unsteadily, to navigate a slow unsteady way to the bedroom, undress him, re-dress him into something more comfortable and put him into bed. He even made an effort to clean up, but then his body just gave up and he barely made it to join Lex in his bed.

It wasn't how he imagined he'd first make it into Lex's bed, but he was dizzy, aching and exhausted and not thinking clearly. The bed was there, Lex was there and he just put the two together. Once they were on the bed, Lex moved a little, sleepily curling into him and that was probably the best answer that Clark would get for his efforts for hours.

Things would look different in the morning.

 

*****

 

There was a knock on the door. Not a friendly knock, but a sharp rapping knock, that was accompanied by a sharp female voice declaring, "If anyone's IN there, open the fucking door!'

Clark startled awake at the sound of that rather familiarly piercing voice. "Oh god, Lois."

He shifted stiffly, aching all over and then panicked. He had no clothes here! Shit! He looked at Lex, curled up in the warmth of the bed and decided he needed sleep more than he needed to deal with Lois.

"Just... a moment," he called out and blurred around the flat removing all evidence he had missed the night before. He found himself a robe, a towel and a large dressing to put ostentatiously on his head. The one good thing was he really wasn't up to using his speed and the effort left him convincingly pale and shaky as he answered the door. Even if he was answering it in a rich purple robe that had LL stitched onto it.

It wasn't just Lois, though. Chloe was standing just beside her, looking sort of stunned. "Way to move fast, Kent -- is Lex in here? God, it's *COLD*!"

"Window shattered last night," Clark replied not having to fake the pained expression. "Come in. Lex is asleep."

"Is he naked, too?" Lois sniped as she let Chloe in then closed the door. "Jesus, Kent, I thought you were *DEAD*. And then Luthor apparently just walked off -- what the hell were you thinking?! *Either* of you?"

"What she said," Chloe said, with a faintly sheepish expression.

"It's my fault," Clark said immediately. It was easier that way. It was always his fault in the end so he might as well live up to that reputation. "I think I must have hit my head or something after I got out of the safe house to try and contact Superman. I don't remember exactly. I think I thought I had to head home or something and got a bit confused. Lex eventually tracked me down and by the time he did and got me back here, he was fit to collapse."

"Okay. So you guys didn't get Winters' call? He was frantic. I mean, Lex just up and walked off when they were all getting into patrol cars. He could've been killed. I don't know how he got from the safe house to here without having hitched a ride or something..."

"No… I don't know," Clark frowned, dissembling a little. "We pretty much crashed out. Sorry. "

"Okay, well -- mind if I use the phone? Maybe you should put a trash bag or something over the open window. I'm amazed you haven't had birds fly in or something," Chloe muttered.

"Shit, yeah. Didn't even notice it last night," Clark said, looking around as he gave another blatant lie. He noticed it all right as he flew -- well more like fell in a semi-controlled manner -- through it. It had just paled into insignificance against his certainty that he was going to die. There had been no reason to suspect Lex would come back to his apartment, but somehow it was the only place he could reach that was remotely safe. "Go ahead, I'm sure Lex wouldn't mind."

"Is he really still asleep?" Lois asked peering at Clark in the half-lit room while Chloe moved over towards the phone on the wall.

"What else would he be doing?" Clark asked, bemused at the question as he headed over to the kitchen area to look for something to patch over the window. Squinting x-rays through cupboards located the trash bags, but gave him a splitting headache and made him feel sick. It looked like he didn't just bounce back from the night's experience that easily.

"Oh... I don't know. Given what you're not wearing, Clark..." Lois leered a little, just because she could and she knew it'd embarrass him.

It worked and he blushed a little and looked away. "My clothes were a wreck," he replied truthfully fetching out the bags and tape then trying to ignore the pair of them as he made his way to the window hole, oblivious to the chill wind.

And a little less oblivious to his undressed state

It proved hard not to lose his towel and the robe in the process of patching things up and he started to feel dizzy again even as he turned. "Why are you here Lois?" he asked, feeling his way over to the couch

"I was worried when you just disappeared from a safe house in the middle of gunfire. You're usually the sort to run *away* from a fight, Kent, not into it." Lois was looking around the interior of Lex's apartment, and it was hard to tell whether she approved or disapproved.

"Okay, you want me to get Lex on the phone?"

"He's still asleep," Clark said again, wishing he were still there in that bed, curled up with Lex. He closed his eyes a moment. "I guess things change, Lois."

Chloe pulled at Clark's arm. "Clark, just let me get in there and have Lex mumble into the phone. Winters just wants to be *sure* he's okay."

"Okay, Okay... I'm coming," Clark got up again, resenting it a great deal. He always felt lousy after kryptonite exposure and this had been possibly his worst. If he had been ten years younger he would definitely not have survived and it was with a niggling suspicion in his own thoughts that he decided that most likely he wouldn't have survived much longer last night either. He made his way over to the bedroom and pushed open the door. "Lex? Lex, are you awake? Chloe's here."

Lex had curled up beneath the comforter, just like Clark had left him, head stuck half under the pillow to keep warm. He mumbled something intelligible, something that sounded like, "Nnh."

Chloe cleared her throat, and gave Clark a sympathetic look; it was pretty obvious to her that they hadn't interrupted any monkey business. "Okay, sir? He really is still asleep... Uh-huh." Chloe handed the phone off to Clark and then murmured, "Get him to mumble again, but into the phone."

Clark took the handset to the bed and leaned across. "Lex, it's Winters on the phone. Tell him you're okay? Just a few words, please Lex?" He held the handset to Lex's mouth, crouching there.

"Huh? 'M tryin' to sleep, Clark, 'n..." Lex sat up a little, looking blearily at Chloe. "Girl?"

He heard a faint chuckle from the earpiece, and then, faint, "Okay, Alexander. Go back to sleep."

Clark passed the handset back to Chloe, "You got your mumble."

Chloe smiled her thanks at him, and turned away. "See, Winters? He's okay. Uh-huh. He pulled a Kent. Yeah. Okay." She hung up, and watched Clark and Lex both for a moment, as Lex settled back down beneath the blankets, reaching a hand out for Clark. "Hey, I'm going to drag Lois past your place. You look like you need a change of clothes. We'll be back in an hour or less."

"You still got a key?" Clark asked sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching for Lex even as he spoke.

"Yeah. You never took it back, so..." Chloe grinned, eyes darting towards the reaching fingers. "You two relax. Winters doesn't want Lex to come in tonight. He says he needs some time to rest."

Clark noted with a sort of weary amusement that he wasn't given that sort of option from his boss. "Thank him for me. Try not to let Lois go through all my things will you?"

"I'll try. We'd better get going. I bet she's ransacking the living room as we speak. Bye, Clark."

"See you later Chloe," Clark replied already moving to get into the bed with Lex. It was calling to him with siren-like songs of seductive comfort. He was strong, but not strong enough to deny the lure of a warm bed on a cold morning with someone he loved. Someone who, while not superhuman or even slightly invulnerable, still wandered away from safety to find him, and tended his wounds. Lex shifted towards Clark as soon as he was close, clutching at him. "Don't go."

"Not going anywhere," Clark eased into bed beside him, listening to Chloe taking great delight in telling Lois the gossip in the other room. "Oh god, that's good..." The bliss of lying down when he ached so much and was tired and wanted to have his arms wrapped around Lex swept over him.

A muted noise came from Lex as he wrapped his arms around Clark that sounded almost like a sighed 'yeah'. Maybe. Then Lex slipped a leg between Clark's knees, and huddled in to go back to sleep.

It was easy to settle back, even if he was filled with the feverish reactions he often got after kryptonite exposure. It was no wonder that Lex hadn't felt the cold as his temperature elevated enough to heat the entire room, and then dropped again and his dreams were vivid and hovering on the edge of delirium.

Every time he stirred, he told himself it was normal, and he was comfortable where he was.

Eventually, Lex woke up and simply laid there, still basking in the comfort of holding someone and being held, being so warm that he was almost over-heated, but... He didn't want to move. Still, he had to say something, eventually. "Clark?"

"Mm hmm?" Clark responded, curled there, his hair fine and tickling against Lex's skin.

So sweet ... Lex sighed, leaning in to press his face against Clark's hair. He was so very sweet and maybe, just maybe, his. "You okay?"

"A little groggy," Clark admitted. "Chloe and Lois turning up didn't help. They are enough to give anyone a headache."

"Chloe and Lois were here?" Lex exhaled and inhaled, relaxing against Clark all over again.

"Yeah. I think they thought we were ignoring the world to indulge ourselves," Clark replied, radiating heat. "Had to get up. You mumbled down the phone at your boss. They're coming back with some clothes for me."

"Okay. You're naked?" Lex lifted his head to look at Clark. Which would've worked if he actually had a window in the room, or a light on.

"Yeah, sorry. Was wearing a towel for our guests," Clark felt his muscles shiver. Great. Probably meant he'd throw up or something. Nothing he could do about it and it would be over in a short period of time. Normal people got sick all the time, although he suspected most of them didn't have glowing green vomit. Except in really bizarre cases. Like people who ate glow-sticks.

"Huh." Lex had to accustom himself to that idea for a moment. *He* wasn't naked, but... "Oh, yeah. I pulled your suit off."

"What was left of it," Clark replied as he tried to quell the shivers. "I haven't had a chance to thank you yet for saving my life."

"I'm still down one," Lex decided as he stretched, placing a hand firmly down on Clark's chest. Bare. He... He really was naked, and it just seemed to strike him suddenly. But it was also okay. He was fine with it as long as he kept telling himself that. "You okay?"

"Yeah. After effects," Clark dismissed them. "I'll be fine. I understand it's like the 'flu or something,' I don't know."

"I wondered why you were... warmer than usual. I think... maybe I should stay off shift tonight? You want to stay here? I..." He stretched faintly, still looking at Clark. "I was so worried that you were dead."

"Chloe said that Winters isn't expecting you in." Clark looked at him, the glitter of his eyes visible in the dim light. "And I'd love to stay." He paused a moment and then said conversationally. "I was pretty sure I was dying too."

"Something told me to come home. And I saw the explosion; the SWAT officer said that it was this way..." So he'd moved like a zombie, like a person caught in a dream, and he'd found Clark, still solid and still alive. "You need to recover. You want me to call your office to say you're sick?"

Even if he did need to start on that story for the next day's presses, he thought staying with Lex was a grand idea. "I'll write the story for Perry in a couple of minutes and then say I'm not coming in." Clark smiled again. "I played the concussion card again. Wasn't hard, the way I was feeling."

"Good." Lex let his eyes travel over Clark's chest, then back to his face. "Do you want me to get you something to eat? I need to get up... and Chloe will probably be back in a few minutes. Then we can settle in again. You..." Lex looked thoughtful. "Your laptop was at the safe house. You can use mine, and I'll find out if it was recovered."

"I'm okay, really Lex," Clark said noticing the look. "You should be the one resting. I can get us something to eat if you want? While you have a shower."

"I wasn't bleeding on the carpet," Lex pointed out, voice a little blunt.

"No, I guess not, but it's all gone." Clark gestured across his chest. "I heal. I mean, you heal fast Lex, but I heal faster. Maybe in a few more years I won't even get this reaction after an event."

"Maybe." Lex shifted, crawling out of the warmth of the bedding slowly. He didn't want to leave, but he'd have to. "Maybe we can do what we need to and reconvene back here quickly?"

"Sounds like a plan," Clark agreed. "I'd fly and get some clothes, but I think a naked flying man might be a little distracting. Besides it'll probably make me throw up for a few hours."

Lex shot Clark a *look* as he dragged himself up to his feet. "Don't do anything that'll make you sick."

Clark actually laughed. "It is so weird to hear someone aside from Mom and Dad say that. I'll have to tell them you know soon, they're bound to have heard about the explosion by now."

It made Lex smile faintly as he moved over to his closet to get a change of clothes. He forgot that he was in on a secret, and that it was a huge secret. It spoke volumes about how much Clark trusted him, for him to have admitted to what Lex had just guessed at. "You should call them. I'm going to take a shower, I'll be out in a minute."

"I'll do that. And make some late breakfast. I'm up to that at least," Clark said leaning out of the bed to grope for the all-important towel. "I might have one after."

"I'll make sure to not use up all the hot water." Lex held the clothes in his arms, watching Clark crawl out of bed and hide himself away. Lex's reaction was mixed; intrigued with a need to wince away, so he turned around and slipped into the shower. Eating sounded really good.

He wasn't entirely sure what he was feeling about the whole thing. Clark had been in his bed naked, and somehow that was more astonishing than the fact that Clark had been lying mortally injured on his floor, shredded to pieces. How was he meant to deal with it? Or was he confused by the fact Clark had been in his bed naked and *hadn't* made a move of any kind on him?

He had expectations, after all. Bad ones, sure, but at least it was a guideline of what to expect with Clark. Except that there was no guideline on what to expect with Clark. He had no honest idea of what was going to come next, and it made his head hurt. Made him glad to be home. At least he could take a shower in comfortable privacy.

It was nice to relax. It hadn't sunk in. There was Lucas as well, and if his father was really in jail, things were going to change there. Would Lucas be any better in charge of LuthorCorp with his peculiar slanted way of looking at the world? Maybe, maybe not. Lex cranked up the hot water, and closed his eyes. He just didn't want to think any more.

*****

It was a rare thing to have a comfortable silence with someone, even more than being able to have a good conversation. Clark and Lex had at least mastered the art of the comfortable silence. Clark had managed to get dressed after Chloe and Lois' return visit and had cleared up the flat in a literal flash, dealt with the broken window (watching pieces of glass get re-melted was *neat*), made a coffee and then collapsed on the couch, looking a little feverish but happy as he invited Lex to share.

Lex was willing to go with the idea. It was easier for him than lying in bed with Clark; it made him nervous, made him hum on edge. Clark was a trustworthy guy, a good man, but ...

But Lex was still nervous, even if he'd been too tired to register it before it had happened. "Thanks," he murmured as he took the cup and sat down.

"I may fall asleep," Clark said apologetically. "That happens sometimes. Well, every time after I've been exposed. When I was younger I pretty much would just pass out and sleep through it all."

"That's okay," Lex smiled faintly, curling up against Clark's side just slightly. When he'd gotten dressed, he'd put on somewhat shapeless, thick, warmer clothes. They'd help at least until his thermostat brought the temperature up. "I won't mind."

"You might if I snore," Clark grinned at him. "I'm not good at being sick. Not in practice." His arm draped over him gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. I..." He was still jittery, so that was mostly why he was sitting beside Clark with his arms crossed and his body faintly tense. "It's strange. I think it's over."

"It is," Clark replied, trying to soothe down that shaking. "The main part of it, yes."

"I know. The trial doesn't bother me." The actual investigators testified all the time. He could maybe get some pointers from Chloe. Not Adam. It was still easier to deal with women than men for Lex. "It's over. He's not getting out after the fight he put up."

"No, he's not. Neither are any of the others who did anything to you," Clark replied. "Trials are stressful though."

"I'll give taped testimony, if I can. If I can't... I'll cope. I'm good at coping." The TV was on low, but Lex was looking at Clark's knee more than at the screen.

"I know. Better than I am, that's for sure," Clark said leaning back a little. "My article about this is going to be something else."

"I bet. It's got everything. Guns, gangsters, seedy business..." And Lex still preferred the way that old movies ended, with everything wrapping up tidy ... and happy.

He wanted happy.

"A stoic hero," Clark added, stroking him gently and smiling. "Who is devilishly good looking."

"Adam does fit the part." Lex's mouth twitched faintly and he added, "I know. You meant me. But I didn't do anything. It just happened to me. And that girl that died. She probably didn't even have parents that wanted her. I... can't imagine."

"That is a situation where nothing anyone can say or do will make things better," Clark said seriously. "The only answer there can be to that is justice. It won't make things right but it should be in the echo of any outcry." He paused a moment and smiled. "I've turned into my dad haven't I?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing. I like your dad a lot," Lex teased softly. "I don't know. I'll call the coroner's office tomorrow and see if the Foundation can donate money for a burial." Hell. He wouldn't even get them involved, he'd do it himself. He just wanted to make sure first that the money would go to what it was supposed to.

"I'd like to find out who she was," Clark added. "See if I can find out something, tell her story. Make people realize the full horror of what went on."

He gave a faint, shaky nod. "Yeah. It ... They're still trying to find out who the others were. They think they found one of the girls. She works in a law office now, downtown. It's... funny. Lots of people manage."

"When I go back to work, I'm going to do a feature," Clark agreed. "And some people don't just manage, they succeed."

"Anyone who's alive, Clark.... If you're still alive, I think you succeeded. If you didn't kill yourself someway..." He was talking circles, sure, but it was easy. There was white noise in the background, he was warm, and Clark was touching him carefully. Comforting. It was nice.

"Then you are one of the elite," Clark replied softly. His hand experienced another surge of heat and he yawned a little. "Mom and Dad want to see you again, soon. Now that you know, we can be there in seconds whenever you feel like going. I haven't told them yet, though."

"When you're not sick," Lex murmured. "You're nice people ... all of you. And I'm glad you actually got to a good home, instead of..."

"Instead of what happened to you," Clark finished for him. "I don't know what would have happened to me."

"You probably would've been... I don't know. He had no limits. Anyone who'd sell his or her own son..." He always said that like he was miles removed from the event and that it wasn't him.

"It was bad enough in my teens. He came close on numerous occasions to getting me on the dissecting table," Clark said in a matter of fact tone. "But what he did to you, even to Lucas was wrong. Speaking of Lucas..." Clark tilted his head a little as if listening.

"What's with the head tilt? Super hearing?"

"Uh-huh. Lucas is in the garage," Clark replied. "I've been half-listening in case Chloe and Lois try to sneak in again."

"When was the last time you saw Lucas...?" Lex asked carefully. The moment would be tense, but... maybe not. After all, Lucas would be riding high.

"Well, it was a sort of bizarre moment, if you mean personally," Clark shrugged. "He probably doesn't remember it. He got in over his head in some power play he and your father was doing and it turned sour. A group of us were held hostage at the Talon, he and I were dragged off and as we were going over the bridge he started fighting and got knocked out. Then we went through the rail and hung there. We didn't quite do what you did. And the problem was, we were only hanging there because I was holding us on. Everyone got out of the car, clambered up and out the back window with me apparently trapped in it, and then as Lucas got out... it fell. Of course I got out, but... that was the last time I saw him." His dad had been furious that Lucas hadn't even tried to find out if Clark was okay, and it had been enough of a blow that Clark had reluctantly let the subject drop and distanced himself from the Luthor heir.

Lex stayed where he was, leaning into Clark. "I don't know why he didn't look."

"It wasn't that unusual a thing," Clark shrugged. "From his point of view I guess I was too stupid, not fast enough to get to safety."

"That's how he is. That's how my father was. Lion rules." The doorbell rang and Lex shifted away from Clark a little. "I'll get it."

As predicted, it was Lucas at the door and he was bearing a magnum of some very fine champagne and having a problem keeping a smirk from his face, even if he did have a rather noticeable bruise on his left cheekbone. That seemed not to worry him. "Lex! Thought you might like to celebrate our mutual liberation."

"So you managed to survive. Good to see." Lex hung in the door for a moment, blocking Clark from view until he stepped backwards. "Why don't you come in? I have company, but..."

"I always survive," Lucas replied and stepped in and then stopped when he saw Clark on the couch. "Well, well...Clark."

"Lucas," Clark responded cordially enough.

Lucas smirked again. "I see that the Luthor taste is hereditary Lex."

"It could very well be," Lex shrugged as he closed and locked the door. "I know you two know each other. Just no arguing, all right? I'm not in the mood for it."

"Nothing to argue about," Lucas replied as if he really believed that to be true. "Been down with the police, giving my statements. Dear old dad is well and truly stitched up."

The smile transformed him from his nearly permanent sullen look and he looked ready to bounce around the apartment, even though he opted to sprawl over a chair and make himself at home. "I see you managed to make it through the night, too, Lex. There was some doubt for a while when you dropped off the radar."

Lex moved to sit back down beside Clark, settling close again. "I just came back home. It was a hunch -- Clark had beaten me back, actually. Concussed, but here."

"He does have a habit of turning up in strange places," Lucas agreed, looking over at Clark. "See you haven't lost that habit, Kent."

"It's a useful one for a reporter to have, Lucas," Clark replied carefully keeping his responses under control.

"Oh back to Lucas are we? You used to call me Luke," Lucas leaned forward a little. "When we were friends."

Clark shrugged as if that answered the implicit question. Lex was filing it all away in his mind, but for the moment gave a loose shrug of his shoulders, too, and leaned against Clark. "Back in the day, Lucas, back in the day. What're your plans now that father's assets will soon be falling into your lap?"

"I plan to run LuthorCorp," Lucas said easily. "Want to join me?"

He shook his head without even having to hesitate to think about it. "No. I'm not cut out for that world, Lucas. I would like to clean up any of dads 'charities' and see that they're run properly. But that's it."

Lucas shrugged again. "Fine. Consider yourself appointed to clean up, and as dispenser of the rather extensive LuthorCorp charity budget." He tossed that out as if it weren't a big deal but his dark eyes were watching Lex carefully.

Lex nodded faintly as he sat mostly still. "I can handle that. Gladly. Have fun with the penthouse, Lucas."

"You don't want anything else?" Lucas asked, raising a laconic eyebrow looking at his half brother and then at Clark.

"No." Lex smiled, watching his brother as much as he was being watched. "No, not a thing. Maybe some of my mother's things that dad kept in storage. No claim to your soon to be company. It's a responsibility, Lucas, and I hope you're ready for it."

"Like it or not, father finally got his wish. He has offspring who managed to survive his peculiar form of parenting. That, I think, qualifies both of us as being very ready for the world." He smiled with a hint of natural arrogance. "I guess the question is whether the world is ready for us?"

"Most likely not," Clark said nearly under his breath.

Lex gave a faint chuckle, and elbowed Clark gently. "Things... wrapped up well, Lucas. No worries about me wanting back into the fold. Dad has himself buried under thirty charges, and after the hit squads, he won't be making bail."

"Not with me carefully uncovering his covered tracks. And there he was, expecting me to frame him or something." His brother gave a low laugh. No one *needed* to frame Lionel. "And if you wanted to come back Lex, I wouldn't mind. There's no one playing us off against one another. Don't necessarily believe certain biased opinions about me." He raised an eyebrow at Clark. "I'm afraid Clark has a bad opinion of me."

"I can't think why," Clark replied blandly.

"It's not that, Lucas. It's that I... do not belong in the business world. I'm happy doing DNA, just like I've been telling both you and dad for nearly the past ten years. I won't come back, I'd rather be mundane." And even Lex's idea of mundane was skewed, twisted.

"Everything will be mundane compared to this, Lex," Lucas said. "I feel like a death sentence has just been lifted. Like there's a life out there to live. LuthorCorp won't suffer too much when it gets out that we were both victims of a sort. I'm sure Clark here is making mental notes on both of us as we speak, aren't you Clark?"

"It's hard not to," Clark replied. He was stiff at Lex's side, which was novel for Lex to be feeling and noticing. "I'm sure you know that, though."

Lex could all but feel the tension in the air, too, the faint distaste and un-surety in Clark's voice. And that was okay. No one was going to ask Clark to like his brother. Especially not Lex, since family meant someone to avoid. "He's a writer, that's what they do."

"With a very strong moralizing byline," Lucas replied. "He doesn't approve of loose morals, do you Clark?"

Clark looks a little irritated by the needling. "Not when you wouldn't take no for an answer."

Lucas looked almost triumphant at having forced Clark to reveal their history, as if convinced Lex would know nothing about it. But Lex just smirked a little. "Lucas. Trying to get a rise out of people counts as fighting to me. I'm pretty pleased to have found someone with... Clark's moral reliability."

"The novelty wears off," Lucas replied as he moved to get up. "Trust me on this. You reckon you might be around for Christmas?"

"I always am." He leaned against Clark a moment more, trying to guess if his brother's restlessness was just wandering or wandering him out to the door. "Congratulations, Lucas. We're pretty much in the clear now."

"Still the trial to get through, and though I will be tracking down any sleeper contracts Lionel might have set up, you can never be sure," Lucas said. "Enjoy the champagne. And your guest."

He started to stand up to get the door for Lucas. "Thanks, Lucas. Have a good night. Day. Whatever."

"I'm sure I will," Lucas replied. "I'm off to interview some bodyguards. Watch out for yourself Lex."  
Which was as close to an expression of love as Lucas seemed to be able to get. It encapsulated his philosophy of survival and a warped form of love in one neat phrase.

Lex bit back the urge to say that he always had. He'd just keep doing it. Status quo. The only difference was that he wouldn't be looking out for himself... alone. "You, too. Good luck with those bodyguards. Try not to have sex with them, huh?"

"And deny them the perks?" Lucas flashed another Luthor smile and stepped out of the door. "See you around Lex."

"See ya." Lex waited in the doorway, watching Lucas leave. His brother's visits were always short, but they seemed to suck his patience and his nerves.

"Sorry," Clark said behind him. "He has this ability to get to me. I was trying to behave."

Lex stood there for a moment, and then turned around, closing the door behind him. He hadn't expected Clark to be that close, but there he was. Right up front of him while Lex stood with his back to the door. "It's okay. He gets to me, too."

"I could tell," Clark replied reaching his arm around Lex's waist slowly, so Lex could pull away if he felt uncomfortable. "Although I really wanted to chip in and suggest you coming to spend Christmas with us. Guess I should have asked first huh?"

He moved in towards Clark. Close was easier when he wasn't backed up to a wall or a door. He'd never leaned into those people, never gotten comfortable, and Clark was all about comfort. "I think he wanted me to show up at the holiday party."

"When is that?" Clark asked, the heat radiating off of his body once again even though he showed no signs of discomfort.

"Probably the twentieth. That... will be a Friday." Lex held onto him then started to back him towards the sofa again. "You should be resting. Possibly covered in ice."

"Oh, that's great, you can still come and stay," Clark sounded relieved. "You'll love it! Mom and Dad will love having you there and Lara too."

"I'd love to spend Christmas with you guys. I usually do charity things, and then hide. Movies are great at Christmas," Lex smiled faintly. "Everything is holiday sweet."

"You are a secret romantic aren't you?" Clark murmured leaning close to kiss his cheek even as they sat again.

"It's not much of a secret," Lex laughed. "I like it when things end well. Pretty much everyone in the lab knows it." He leaned into Clark, sliding an arm around Clark's waist.

"Well, I think it's doing reasonably well for a happy ending right now. The bad guys are on their way to being put away, the good guys survived. Chloe has Adam, you have me..."

"I have you. That... means a lot to me. It's hard for me to, to get close to people, and you were easy. I don't know why." Lex turned his head a little, looking at Clark's jaw. "Maybe I sensed your goodness."

"I'm not the easiest person to get close to," Clark replied. "I'd like to think it is something about you. Nobody has ever connected me with Superman. No one..."

He frowned a little. "I guess what I am trying to say is that I've always felt that the person who really knew me, cared for me would really *know* me. Would see through to me, not these people I try and pretend to be. You don't know how special you finding out on your own, just looking and realizing, is to me. It means you see me, who I am, not... a mask. A pair of glasses or spandex and a cape."

That was infinitely sweet to Lex's ears, and he just smiled as Clark said it. "I saw you. Never thought twice that it wasn't you. It ... You still seemed like you. Maybe the literal sparks helped."

"Then perhaps I shouldn't be privately regretting not getting to you a fraction sooner," Clark replied. "I guess what I've been trying to say Lex, is this is special to me. I've spent my life wondering if an alien can even be loved, you know? On a very basic level ... I mean in that 'soul' way that I see in my Mom and Dad, which I see sparking around me time and time again. And then... you."

"And then you," Lex agreed. "Except, I don't have that Alien thing for a reason. I just... gave up looking, because I always ended up hurt." He leaned over faintly, placed a kiss against Clark's mouth. "My head's starting to hurt, Clark, with way too many deep thoughts in one day. Let's just relax."

"Yeah. I could use sleep. And maybe later we can have the champagne," Clark replied after tasting and savoring the kiss. "And get take out or something."

"Cham-pag-ne and pizza sounds great today." Lex agreed that easily, and twisted around to grab the throw on the back of the sofa to wrap them up in. Just for when Clark's temperature inevitably dropped again.

Clark smiled. They seemed to spend a lot of their time on sofas wrapped around each other -- hardly an exciting courtship, but one that seemed to be working. They settled together even as he let himself drowse into a kryptonite-reaction flu like sleep. Later he would think about some of the bigger issues, about how this was going to work, but he was sure he could make it happen if Lex were willing.

*****

He was a good, but eccentric guy. A little crazy, a little fun... He'd always been there at the lab, been that. Been that guy.

And nothing more.

Now, things clung to him. He couldn't shake the feeling of evidence hanging over his shoulder, of pictures following him around the lab. Thoughts and drifts of ideas, and ... He just couldn't shake it. It went away sometimes, but never for too long, never for long enough. One moment he'd be helping someone with results, the next...

The next he really wished he was still taking those goddamned pills. Then he could just roll through the day. Except that he hadn't gotten up the nerve to make an appointment with Winters' therapist, and he wasn't willing to trust much of the old advice he'd been given. It left him in an odd limbo.

And here he was working as if that would stave off some of the anxiety building at planning to attend the LuthorCorp Christmas Party. He felt weird about it. He didn't know whether to embrace the differences or try and ignore them. Before, he had known that hiding everything was the only thing he could do. But now he had Clark gently pulling at those doubts and memories in an effort to 'help',

Help. It helped like sticking a knife into the edges of a half-healed but rotting wound, and cutting around it. Maybe it was the best thing to do, but it hurt like hell and it was such a slow process that Lex wasn't sure that the new cut wasn't rotting too. Maybe all of him was rotting.

It was probably best to have left everything alone. He didn't know what he was going to do at that party, other than jitter himself to death.

"Wanna break, Lex?" Ash called out from the door. "I'm heading to the break room."

"Yeah..." Lex looked over his machinery. He was actually caught up for the moment, and walked towards Ash. "Yeah, I think I need a break."

"You look like you need it," Ash said bluntly. "C'mon."

He snorted faintly as he stepped into the hall with Ash. "Why do I look like I need it? It's been a damn good night."

"Maybe that's the problem," Ash said. He never minced his words. "You've had time to think about stuff."

"Believe me, I haven't been thinking," Lex laughed as he slipped into the break room first.

"Sure," Ash said. "So you going to that party this year?" They all knew about the party; they'd even reached the point over the years that they recognized the signs of its impending impact on Lex's life.

Tenth time was the charm. "Yeah. I am. Why do you ask?" And why couldn't he find his coffee cup?

"Well, I always thought it was your father that made you go," Ash replied sitting down. "Taking Clark with you?"

"If he'll come," Lex said as he bent to open the cabinet, grabbing his large mug. "This is the first year that my brother is hosting it."

"Clark would follow you anywhere," Ash said grabbing his own coffee. "He's like a damn puppy sometimes." He grinned a little at that. "It's the eyes you know, like he's begging for a treat."

"I like that," Lex murmured faintly. "He's sweet." Gentle, warm, but he wasn't going to wax poetic about the guy at Ash.

"Yeah." Ash cleared his throat. "Kieran's making his presentation with the coroner's data to the pre-trial today. They'll be calling for testimonies after the holidays."

"At least it's after the holidays. I'm going to head out in a couple of days to spend the holidays with Clark's family." Lex straightened up, gave a tight-lipped smile as he started to pour his coffee.

"That'll be good." Ash looked down a moment. "Ed and Nigel have asked me 'round to theirs but... I'm not sure whether to go or not."

"Ed and Nigel?" He dropped sugar into his cup while the coffee was still hot and steaming, and started to stir. "Really? Why?"

"Why have they asked me? I don't know." Ash shrugged. "I usually spend Christmas alone. Drink myself to oblivion, that sort of thing."

"I try to recreate my idea of a Norman Rockwell Christmas. With just myself, holiday movies, and a lot of hot chocolate mix," Lex smiled faintly. "Go spend Christmas with them. No harm, they're good people."

"But why would they ask me?" Ash asked genuinely puzzled. "I mean...why? Why would they want me there on their time?" He was unconsciously echoing some of Lex's own doubts and fears.

"Because... Ash, they like you?" Lex picked up the container of milk, and dumped some into his cup. "They had fun being stuck in a safe house with you?"

"We got blown up!" Ash said incredulously.

"Before we got blown up," Lex shot back. "I had fun being stuck in the safe house with Clark, despite the part where we all almost died."

Ash snorted a little to himself. "That is so fucked up, you know? Yeah, I guess I did have fun with them despite the nearly dying part. Mind you, with Nigel, it might be the nearly dying part that he enjoyed."

Lex kept stirring his coffee as he moved to sit down across from Ash. He'd been standing so long that his legs protested this whole 'sitting' idea, and one knee cracked. Damn, and he hadn't even noticed that he'd been getting sore. Of course, it could've had something to do with him trying to not look at the lab that used to be his, that was still a hollowed out shell that was going to be rebuilt probably by mid January. "I wouldn't know. You think he'll come to the department Christmas party?"

"Oh yeah, he reckons we've turned out not to be such a bunch of white-coats after all." Ash sat down. "He's got a lot of respect for you as well. And Adam, of course."

Lex concentrated for a moment on really stretching before he slumped a little in the seat. "Oh, we're still a bunch of white coats. Bluecoats. Whatever it is for the day of the week. But we're not complete wusses. The field guys in particular. I'd like to think that Klaus scared the shit out of Nigel."

"Klaus scares the shit out of everyone," Ash replied. "So how many days are you going to be with Kent?"

"How long's my vacation?" Lex winked at Ash, unable to keep from smiling.

"Things are going good right?" Ash asked without a trace of his usual cynicism. "Like, really good?"

"Really good. He... Clark and I just work. It fits. It feels right. It's never felt right before, and he definitely is a safe guy." After all, he's Superman, raised by a father that was the sort to jump into the river after kids who crashed their cars. With a fantastically warm and hawk like mom, and a little sister who didn't have any powers but definitely was going to make something of herself.

"Couldn't happen to a better guy," Ash said, looking down at his coffee a moment. "Maybe there is hope for me after all, huh?"

"Yeah. There is." Lex took a sip of his coffee, lingering over it. "I never really got a chance to thank you for your letter to me, Ash. So, thanks. It helped a lot to know the whole shift was behind me."

Ash shrugged a little awkwardly. "I know it probably isn't anything the same, but I know what it's like to feel some of those things, you know? I don't think it's something anyone can really understand unless it's happened to them. I had a lot of people telling me I'd get over it, wounds healed and all that. Physical stuff did, eventually. But I had to work at that and no one could do it for me. You can be helped, but in the end learning to walk again is something that's in you or it's not. I guess the other stuff … the emotional stuff, is the same. I don't know. I seriously don't know what I would do if I was back in that situation again. I get freaked out enough if anyone uses the tone of voice he did."

"Triggers." Lex sighed, and took another deep sip of his coffee. It was weak, but it smelled nice. "Yeah. All sorts of weird shit sets me on edge. Like... candy dots. You know the kind that's stuck to paper. The smell of it makes me sick. It's weird."

"Association. My dad had... a belt. It was one of those western ones, with a really heavy buckle with horses on it," Ash said. "He used to beat the crap out of me with it, when he didn't just use what came to hand. I see one like that and ... once I just passed out. Which is weird, because I never managed to do that at the time unless he went over the top with it."

"I think our own minds make things worse for us," Lex guessed. "Fear can be worse than the event, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm with you on that," Ash replied and smiled a little. "Did you hear about what's come out of that article Kent did about us all?"

"No?"

"They are talking about doing a TV show based around a CSI unit because the public loved the stories so much." Ash grinned again. "I wonder who they'll get to play me."

"Someone," Lex decided, "Who'll help make the TV executive a lot of money?" It was probably just a rumor, and they all knew well how fast rumors spread in the department. Still. It was sort of a fun rumor, and he needed something fun to distract himself, something other than coffee.

"I reckon it could make a good show, with the right sort of treatment. I mean, we've got our vigilante type, our strong female leads and devastatingly intelligent members of staff," Ash mused. "I mean no one would believe the sorts of things we do here. Do you remember that time where Winters had half of us chewing huge wads of gum for one of his experiments? Drama, humor and sympathetic characters ... That's a moneymaker waiting to happen."

"I'm still holding out on the epoxy coffee cup," Lex snorted. "I live in fear of picking up a coffee cup and finding it stuck to my epithelial. On the bright side, we also found out that un-dissolved, it's a great medium for catching DNA. Ripping it ri~ight off."

"We should remember that," Ash nodded. "What time is this Party?"

"Seven tonight." Lex leaned back in the chair, a foot planted firmly on the floor pushing him back a little. "Why?"

"Hadn't you better ask Kent now if you want him to go with you?" Ash suggested. "Because he's on days and he might not be finished before then."

 

Lex glanced at his watch. "He'll be up around seven. I'll call him soon and catch him before he goes to work."

"Great." Ash stretched. "I better get back to my unidentifiable white powder - which I am damn sure is washing detergent, but I have to prove it." He got up and put down his cup even as Adam headed in to the break room. "Hey."

"Hey yourself, Ash," Adam said in his usual tone. "Do not come between me and a coffee or suffer the consequences."

"I wouldn't dare," Ash replied, holding up his hands as if threatened and grinning at Lex as he slipped out.

Lex grinned back a little. "Coffee's weak but tastes good. Hazelnut." And he still needed a couple of minutes to gather his thoughts then he could call Clark. Ash had a good point. It was sort of stupid for him to just *assume* that Clark was going to go. Clark probably didn't even have a tuxedo to wear, and it was a bit late to rent one. And Lex's spare wouldn't fit Clark.

"Hazelnut. Christ." Adam grimaced and took some anyway before sinking down looking tired, which wasn't like him. He was still confined to desk duty and much to his own disgust he kept getting tired towards the end of a shift.

Disgust that Lex guessed mostly came from the fact that he *did* get tired. "Cope. Theresa made it before she left. They're covering a brother sister team that's killed three so far. The DNA on them is fantastic."

"It's just a matter of tracking them then," Adam replied. "Winters has me clearing all the outstanding paperwork for the department. I feel like a goddamn temp."

"It's just until you heal up. It's... incentive to get better fast," he suggested, faintly joking. "Rest up hard, Adam."

"That's all I seem to do," Adam grumbled, glowering at his coffee cup. "The moment I show any effects Chloe's all over me. I'm afraid to breathe differently."

"She's worried about you." Lex cleared his throat. "And when Chloe worries, Chloe smothers."

"I noticed. If I was a fire I'd be well and truly extinguished by now," Adam replied dryly. "To be honest, I have no idea how to handle it. I don't deal with... emotion well."

"I should do a survey some time. Just to see if any of us are actually functioning human beings. Join the club. Ash was just saying the same thing." Lex lifted an eyebrow as he leaned forwards.

"Yeah, well Chloe has her own issues as well," Adam chewed on his lip. "I reckon Winters should put it in the job spec. Kieran's pretty settled. I always thought he was the token weird one."

"If weird means normal. I think we've all fallen through the looking glass again." And come out who knew where. After all, what sort of world was a world where he actually tried to cope with having a relationship with another person?

"I volunteer Ash to dress up in a white rabbit suit," Adam said with a rare hint of humor. "By the way, you know what the Police Departments nominated Charity is this year?"

Lex fell quiet for a moment, and then suggested, "Three guesses, first two don't count, but... one of mine?"

"Yeah. The one that was pretty much libeled. Winters pulled strings, I heard. Felt that the backing of the Police Department would go a long way to restoring the damage the press did to its credibility," Adam replied and shrugged. "I think as he pointed out they had all at least seen how legitimate it was having examined the database and there weren't many charities they could say that about."

A smile tugged at Lex's lips again. "That's fantastic. We run a clean ship, and it's good to see that people might think that again."

"It seemed like a good decision to me, and I don't think anyone had been unmoved by what we all know are the details, even if the public doesn't," Adam said. "Bet you won't get Winters to admit he was involved though. You know how he likes to play Scrooge."

"I won't make him admit it," Lex assured him with a smile. "I'll just enjoy it. Donations dried up after that story broke, and they're just starting again. People usually give the most just before Christmas."

"Tell Kent to put that in the paper," Adam said getting up again, rather stiffly.

Lex stayed quiet as he sat, still smiling when he lifted his head to look at Adam. "If it's in his power. He's just a writer."

"A writer getting headlines now." Adam straightened up slowly. "On the lead paper in Metropolis."

"Yeah. It's quite the accomplishment. I bet Lois Lane is pissed," Lex grinned as he finished his coffee.

Adam just looked at him a moment and then nodded. The purposeful dodging was acknowledged silently, and Lex appreciated that. "Yeah, I expect she is. See you later, maybe, since I have some more forms to subdue."

"Whip them into submission, Adam, and leave no staple un-pressed." Lex started to stand up, still unable to suppress the faint smile on his mouth. He deserved the raised eyebrow he got in response to that, even as the tall man raised his hand in lieu of a farewell with a faint smile on return. It was quite possibly a sign of the end of the world, or just the signs of another trip through the looking glass.

Lex took his time getting back to his temporary lab, checked his in-pile, and then weaved over to the office phone. He still needed to buy a new cell phone, but being able to be contacted any time of the day was over-rated.

Clark should be up. The only question was whether he was off saving the world before breakfast. Occasionally he did that, though he often didn't say exactly what he had been doing. It was only later that it came out that some major disaster had been thwarted.

It amazed Lex that Clark was... quiet about it. Humble. He just hoped that for once the world was not against him, and against Clark. That Clark had a quiet night full of sleep. Or something like it.

One ring, two rings...

"Clark Kent speaking."

Well, it was difficult to tell, Clark could have been over the other side of the city when the phone started ringing.

"Clark, hey. It's Lex." He smiled into the phone, leaning against the wall a little. "Morning."

"Hey Lex!" Clark always sounded pleased to hear from him. "How's work?"

"Work's been good. I had a little reality check when I was in the break room. I... forget formalities sometimes, Clark, and I'm sorry. Do you want to come to the party tonight? Don't say no just because you don't have something nice to wear. I'll buy you something nice. I'll take you if you want to come in jeans and a t-shirt. I'd just really like to have you with me."

"Of course I'll come," Clark said without any hesitation. "I didn't know if it were a by invite only affair so I didn't offer in case it put you on the spot. I've got a tux so don't worry. I was on society reporting at one point."

"Oh, I bet that was fun. People there'll recognize you?" Lex guessed. That'd actually be okay. A reporter in the party could be fun. And keep scummy people far away. "My invite says 'Lex Luthor and Gust', so. Hi, Gust. I think Lucas forgot to make sure his printer ran spell-check."

"I do a good impression of a Gust." He could hear the smile in Clark's voice. "I expect I'll be recognized by some, despised by others and hit on by a few. There were a few of these formals where I barely made it away with my virtue in tact so I need a protector."

"I'll proudly take that task on as my duty for the night. And after this shift, I'm off until New Years Eve, so..." It was just when he took his holiday time. He filed to get Christmas time off at the first possible time every year -- sometimes he got New Years, sometimes he didn't, sometimes it got shifted a few days forwards or back, but he always got some Christmas time. It was better than taking his days off in the summer and traveling to who knew where like most people liked to do. "Whatever you want to do, I'm game."

"Help me shop for Lara?" Clark asked chuckling. "I've got a couple more days to go in, then we can head to Smallville, the fast way. Let's go to this thing tonight, get that over with, huh?"

"Yeah. Getting it over with sounds great. It's an obligation, and ... I'd much rather hit a toy-store tonight and Christmas shop for Lara than be there."

"C'mon, we can hang out and make sarcastic comments about other people. Besides this will be our first official appearance together," Clark pointed out. "I'll try not to embarrass you too much. You want some dinner before we go or do we get fed?"

"We get fed, but I... don't trust it much. Do you have any idea what the staff *does* to that food? I know. I've hidden in the kitchen during some of those events. You don't want to eat the food, either."

"I'll cook," Clark said. "Want to come round to my place and then we'll go?"

"That sounds great. Feel free to not clean up on my account," Lex murmured into the phone. "I should probably let you go, but... I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah, get back to work," Clark chastised him in a mock growl reminiscent of his boss. "Later Lex."

"Later." He grinned a little when he hung up. Just an hour until the end of the day, and things seemed like they'd go well.

Perhaps for the first time, the Party would not be something that sent him retreating to his apartment for a few days, insulated by pills and a willingness to bury himself away from everything. Perhaps, just this once he would be allowed to have a trouble free holiday.

*****

It was pretty obvious why Clark was well received at society functions. Putting on a suit -- spandex based or not -- made Clark's appearance rise from soft and handsome to drop dead gorgeous. Even if it had taken an act of god to convince Clark that, despite not having hair, Lex could help Clark's look nicer.

He really liked Clark's natural curls. And bringing them out made him look the exact opposite of Superman, even more so than usual.

Clark was going to get 98% of his attention all night long.

"But I'm curly, Lex," Clark said for about the twentieth time since they had left to get to the party, just as they were about to make their entrance. "I feel weird with my hair all over the place. Doesn't it look messy?"

Lex slipped an arm around Clark's waist, smoothing over his back for a moment before opting to 'simply' hold Clark's hand. They could be like that when they walked in. It'd save them both questions. "It looks great, Clark. You look like a model for Calvin Kline. Or one of those trendy hip places."

"No one has ever accused me of being trendy and hip," Clark said, taking his hand and grinning. "Personally I just think you liked playing around with my hair."

"I liked that, too," Lex murmured, squeezing Clark's hand. "Particularly when you scrunched up your nose at me and it made your glasses go crooked." And then their names were read.

Clark grinned at him again as they entered the lavishly decorated party. LuthorCorp had always gone for the biggest and the best and it seemed that Lucas had kept that part of the Luthor tradition at least. Lex's name in particular caused a stir and the pair of them found themselves the subject of a great deal of attention as they joined the Metropolis Elite.

"Ah Lex, Clark... good of you to make it." Lucas greeted them personally looking as striking and as sharp as a great deal of money could make him. One day, Lex was just going to say it outright and suggest to his brother that he get that thing that made his two eyebrows into one shaved off or waxed. Or something.

He was going to concentrate on the little things so his skin didn't start crawling because of the more overt, obvious things. Like people who weren't there, like the fact that Lucas was hosting, like...

"Good to see you again," Lex greeted back, taking a quick glance around. "Place looks... gaudy. Good work. I think we're going to die of tinsel suffocation."

"I nearly went with an oriental theme, but I felt it best to have a visible passing of the torch," Lucas said. Clark was treated to long look and a smirk. "You always did clean up well, Kent."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Clark replied easily, his fingers still threading through Lex's own.

"It's a contrast to your normal look," Lucas stepped close to Lex. "Well brother mine, there are some people you should talk to aside from your usual. The Hardwicks are here again, and we have some obscenely rich society lady and her son -- the Teague's. They may be sympathetic to your blandishments."

"You make me sound like a walking infomercial, Lucas -- thanks. C'mon, Clark, we might as well circulate and make the best of it." Lex pulled gently at Clark's hand, and stepped away from his brother. "Have fun, Lucas."

"I'm sure I will," Lucas smirked again with a gleam in his eye that was not particularly comforting. "Enjoy the party, both of you."

Clark nodded and followed Lex. "Can we go yet?" he murmured with a smile in Lex's ear.

"Like Chloe with the trots, we can go," Lex smiled back just as tidily. "If we see him eating something, I'll tell you what was probably done to it by the staff."

Clark chuckled. "That bad huh?" he asked aware that there was a camera flash of someone taking a picture of them practically gazing into each other's eyes. "Remind me not to eat anything at all then. So, are we looking for people to support your charities?"

"Yeah." Lex's eyebrows went up a little. "I don't really come here for the small talk. Actually I might as well be an infomercial. I don't know. It's just keeping a little contact with this strange world I'm supposed to be part of."

"Well, hey, I can introduce you to Jason Teague. He was a coach at Smallville when I was on the team, and things got, uh...complicated," Clark grimaced. "I know, I know... there is no part of my life that isn't complicated, but not in a Lucas type way. In more the fact he went out with Lana and I was sort of the ex, if we had ever really gotten together properly. You want to meet him?"

"Sure. Hey, you think that together we've collectively pissed off the whole room?" Lex asked conversationally as he let Clark lead their care waving motions through the people gathered there.

"Yeah," Clark smiled. "That was the idea wasn't it? Ah, there he is. Jason!"

Clark raised his voice just a little at the other man. "I hope you haven't put thoughts of Smallville completely out of your head."

"Kent?" He was handsome, blond, clean cut and polished looking. Jason smiled with bright teeth. "Hey there, long time no see, Clark."

"I was beginning to think you might not recognize me," Clark replied reaching out to shake his hand. "May I introduce you to Lex Luthor? He works with Chloe, who I'm sure you remember and is a very close friend."

"Good to meet you Lex," Jason offered out his hand again. "Truth be told, I am here at my mother's insistence."

Lex shook Jason's hand with hesitance, even as he re-grasped Clark's right hand with his left. "Believe me, I know all about familial obligations. That's why I'm here, to support my brother's first LuthorCorp holiday fiasco."

"I think news of the changes in circumstance around LuthorCorp have unsettled a lot of people," Jason said. "I've followed a little of what the papers have reported about it." He glanced at Clark even as Clark gently squeezed Lex's hand in reassurance.

Lex flashed Jason a smile. "Things change in the business world. I'd think a Teague would understand that quite well. And, uh... I can't comment on the newspapers, huh, Clark?"

"That gets to be my job," Clark replied. "Lex tends to fill his time working with charities. I don't know how he does it."

"And works all the time?" Jason sounded intrigued. "What sort of charities? Ever had any connection with any sports charities?"

Yeah. He knew that Clark had just tossed him an underhand pitch right to his bat's sweet spot. Lex smiled a little. "Sports charities? How's a sports charity work?"

"Like, occupational therapy especially for disadvantaged kids." Jason seemed to lose some of his affected interest and a genuine enthusiasm sparked into life. "Some scholarships too. I finally persuaded mother that it was something that would distinguish the Teague trust. Sort of like, my project you know? Small part of it, but... It works. One of our most recent scholarships is being short listed for the next Olympics and she was in care."

And just listening, Lex's own affected sort of interest turned into something bright that Clark would recognize as *real* interest. "That's fantastic. When you said sports charity, I thought... you meant something like raising money for little league teams. But that's really great."

"Would you be interested in some sort of... collaboration?" Jason asked leaning forward. "I mean, we have something set up in Metropolis. I'm finding that the schools are all to willing to put their sports budgets into their teams, but not so willing to give the kids a chance who haven't got any rich parents to help them out. Money isn't an issue, not with my mother. We could do something more permanent."

"Huh. I'll really have to think about it. Most of the kids that I deal with we're more worried about... the basics. That they're safe, that they're off the streets and that they're getting to school. But giving them a good outlet..." Like sports, was definitely an option, self-esteem builder too Lex knew that.

"We have a lot of different specialists we can tap. Self defense and martial arts..." Jason started rattling off some of the things that filled him with such enthusiasm.

Clark was smiling. "Lex, shall I get you a drink?" he offered as the other man paused for breath.

"Uh, sure. Avoid the punch? The staff peed in it last year," Lex warned a little absently, but paying attention to Clark's hand as he slipped free. He gave Clark a squeeze before he left.

He could hear Clark chuckling as he left. Jason looked at him with interest. "Do I take it that you and Clark are... together?"

Lex slipped his hands into his pocket, nodding. "Recent, but well settled. He's great. He used to play.... football for you?"

"Mm. Before your brother got me fired for having a relationship with Clarks ex, and made it look like Clark had reported me, yes," Jason replied still smiling. "In some ways it's a shame that you are together, because I was rather thinking of inviting you out to dinner sometime." He still managed to make the statement carry a hint of a question.

It wasn't quite what Lex had expected, and he was pretty sure that he stood there looking floored for a good long minute. "Uh..." He hadn't ever been good at his flat turndowns, but he'd always been firm. "I... God, I usually tell people that I don't date, but I kinda can't say that anymore. But I really don't. Clark just sort of happened."

"Much as I like Clark, in case things 'un-happen' I'd like you to think about giving me a call?" Jason said pulling a card from a pocket. "On there is the contact details of the Teague Trust if you decide to take up my offer."

Smooth, very smooth, Lex had to give him that. He reached to take the card, still smiling. "Yeah, I think the Children's Charity could help you out. Or at least send you guys some kids that need it. I know some of them could really benefit from learning things like martial arts, or just having a chance to play more."

Jason smiled again, unleashed the force of his charm even as Clark rejoined them. "I best make sure I am mingling to my mother's satisfaction. I hope to hear from you soon Lex."

"You will, Jason. Thanks. We should mingle, too..." He turned into Clark even as he said that, eyes faintly wild as he pocketed the card and reached for a glass of god knew what Clark was holding. "Hi."

"Hi. For you, a non-spit-contaminated mineral water. I know you're not keen on alcohol at public functions," Clark said even as Jason turned away from them. He leaned closer. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Lex took a deep sip from the glass then looked back up at Clark. "Did you know Jason hops the fence?"

Clark paused with his glass halfway to his mouth. "He... no ... What, he made a pass at you?"

Lex looked out of the corner of his eye, trying to shove down a prickle of agitation. "Mm. I didn't see it coming. I need to think of a new 'no' since 'I don't date' is now apparently invalid through logic."

"How about you have a possessive other half?" Clark suggested seriously. "I can play up to that."

It wasn't true, but... Both the mind and the body were willing. Lex smiled at Clark, and took another sip of his drink. "I can go for that."

"Good." Clark smiled "Shall we mingle?"

Lex took Clark's hand again. "I'll let you have this hand back sometime later tonight, okay?"

Clark smiled again. "I can live with that," he said as they set off into the jungle that passed for a Metropolis social event.

All in all, the party had not been going badly. Between the two of them Lex had managed to secure a surprising amount of donations from the rich and famous. It was like some secret game they were playing on the rest of the room and it was enough to lift Lex's unsettled feelings. Right up to the point where Lucas managed to commandeer Clark at the very point where it would have been very rude of Lex to abandon a conversation, and very rude of Clark to deny the host his request.

After all, Lucas just wanted to talk about old times, back when he ran the shit factory, and Clark would make a great prop. Local flavor. God help Clark was all Lex could think after he was done talking to the older woman and a pretty young thing across the room caught her eyes, leaving Lex to stand there awkwardly, holding an empty water glass and trying to locate his brother and Clark in the room.

"Well, Lex, it's been a long time hasn't it?" Victoria Hardwick was hard to miss as she homed in on him. "It seems that we only ever see each other at these things."

He could smell her perfume coming towards him before he even turned around to face her. "Victoria. What a pleasant surprise."

"Mm, I've missed seeing you Lex." Victoria was exactly the type who used to trigger all his needs to drown himself in sensuality. "I wanted to say I wish I'd been able to support you more...back then. If I'd known..."

"If you'd known...?"

It hit him like a brick against the back of the head, and Lex half-wondered how much of a dumb fuck he had to be. Of course ... it was in the papers, the stories, hell, maybe it wasn't just threaded through, maybe it was blatant. He hadn't ever *read* the stories, and now he had to wonder what was in them, what people knew. That old itching fear that people knew just by looking at him crawled back onto his shoulder.

"What had happened. I knew we were screwed up Lex, but all of us were weren't we? Me, you, Bruce, Justin, Evie and Guy." Victoria looked at him with a sympathetic sincerity that seemed real. "We all had issues, and dealt with them in different ways. I admit, at the time I thought Wayne was the most cracked of all of us. I'm still not entirely convinced that that isn't the case, even after what was in the papers."

Victoria was 'cracked' because she was a spoiled brat who was crying out for attention to her father. "You're going to have to forgive me if I'm not *quite* sure what was in the papers, Victoria, and what wasn't, since I've been pretty busy lately. I don't read the newspaper. But, uh..." Fuck you, you self-absorbed bitch. At least Bruce *did* things for the world. Good things. Justin OD'd, and who knew where Evie and Guy were. "Thanks."

"Lex, you know 'our kind' only express emotion in terms of money," Victoria shifted slightly, leaning closer. "Evie used to joke about that, but there's a grain of truth in that. For old times sake, let me make that monetary gesture. That's why you are really here, isn't it? More than Lucas's vaunted Luthor solidarity?"

"I'd like to think we can make the world a better place by expressing emotion in terms of good deeds," Lex joked vaguely.

"Well, consider this my good deed. I am sure $250,000 would count as something good." Victoria offered that. "Follow me, and I'll write the check here and now."

"Victoria, a quarter of a million would leave a *lot* of good in this city." He took a step towards her, smiling, "Lead the way."

She led the way to one of the adjoining rooms. "Lucas kindly allowed me to store my purse and bag here," she explained while opening the drawer of the desk with an electronic combination. "Father really wants one of these desks. He likes the combination feature. Perhaps I will get him one as an executive stocking filler for Christmas."

She was talking seemingly randomly, but in reality she put them both in a position where they were very close as she was writing the check. "Whom shall I make it payable to?" she asked in a low voice and she bent over to lean on the desk, her hair lustrous and appealing as she looked up at him with dark eyes.

He... would've, years before -- before he left Metropolis to finish school and came back a new man -- would've twisted her onto the desk and had sex with her. Back then. She was gorgeous, there was no question, but he simply didn't react. "Lillian Luthor Children's Charity."

He saw her flourish the name on the piece of paper and then sign it and hand it over. Somehow though, she was alarmingly close. "Here we are Lex, for old time's sake. And this is for old time's sake too..."  
He didn't have much chance to react even as she wrapped around him like an over amorous octopus, firmly plastering her lips to his own.

It felt wrong, everything he'd been so careful to reject over the past almost-decade. Lex jerked back instead of letting her press on, and gasped, "Victoria, don't. I have a partner and I'd r-really rather not--"

Victoria seemed selectively deaf to that even as she pounced on his lips again, aggressively passionate.

At which point the door opened.

"And in here Clark, is where the Smallville info-" Lucas' voice petered out as the pair of them were faced with the apparent sight of Lex and Victoria Hardwick in a very convincing, passionate kiss. "Uh... Maybe this isn't a good time."

Clark on the other hand had gone very still and tense.

Lex pushed at Victoria's chest as alarm bells started to go off in his ears, and maybe that wasn't the best place for his hands to end up but it pushed her back. "God-damn, let go of me!"

"Why Lex, and you were so enjoying our Christmas kiss," Victoria smirked and reached to kiss him again.

"Miss Hardwick?" Clark's voice was like ice. "Are you qualified as a dentist?"

That was surreal enough to get her attention.

"No." *As if*, was the implication.

"Then you have no business being anywhere in my boyfriends mouth." Clark strode over to Lex. "Lex, I think it's time we were leaving, don't you?"

His eyes this close were blue, very blue.

That gave Lex impetus to make a final jerk away from Victoria, and he still had the check in hand. It didn't seem to matter that his hands were shaking, that he was shaking. Just a little. Girls, women, hadn't ever traumatized him half as much as men. "Pr... probably. Victoria, uh, thank you for the donation... Have a, a nice night."

Victoria smirked at him knowingly. "I'm sure I will."

"Thank you for inviting us Lucas. This party has all your hallmarks and unique individual style stamped all over it," Clark said somehow making the almost compliment sound like a deadly insult. "I am sure that you won't miss us too much."

"I'll see you, Lucas." Lex slipped the check into his pocket while Clark talked, and then reached to grab Clark's hand tightly. "Good night." He didn't care that it probably looked like he was in trouble, and that Lucas looked really smug for it. Lex just didn't care.

They moved out of the LuthorCorp building, leaving a trail of susurration in their wake. Clark steered them firmly out and away from the place with a stride designed to put as much distance between them as swiftly as possible. His expression was fixed and betraying the tension of anger in his jaw.

Lex was barely able to get Clark to stop to retrieve their coats, and he was still shrugging it on when Clark dragged him outside. He'd fucked up. God, how he'd fucked up. Sure, it was an accident, but there was no way to explain it away, was there? Quiet secluded room, an exchange of money...

And Clark's eyes were blue which meant he was angry, and surely that meant he was angry with him. Fuck. Clark didn't stop until they were outside in the night air, their breath billowing in the chill night. And still, he wasn't saying anything.

Lex shifted his fingers in Clark's hand, tempted to try to pull the silent man towards the parking garage. They needed to get there if they were going to get home.

"Clark..."

Clark looked at him. "Do have any idea how angry I am right now?" He exhaled again. "Do you really need a half-brother Lex? No wait, that would be wrong. Does LuthorCorp need a head office building?"

Maybe the cold had frozen his brain cells. Clark's or his? Lex twisted a little, gaze drifting out towards the nighttime-traffic. "You're not angry at me?" He wanted to ask why not, but he wasn't sure if that was wise to ask.

"Why would I be angry at you?" Clark asked, blinking a little as he stopped staring into space and refocused on Lex. "You haven't done anything wrong. Lucas and that...." Words seemed to fail him as he tried to think of a way to describe Victoria Hardwick.

"She went in there to get her checkbook, to write a donation, and just..." Lex still wouldn't look at Clark.

"Threw herself on you out of nowhere, I know," Clark replied. "Look at me Lex. What's wrong?"

"I thought you were angry at me." Lex didn't look away from the moving cars, but the gleam of their lights started to blur, and he had to blink it away. "Can we go home now?"

Clark reached for him, cupping his face and looking straight into his eyes. "Lex, you really think I wouldn't trust you? I know it wasn't you. I know Lucas, and even if I didn't have certain advantages in terms of hearing, I would still be very suspicious of someone who steers me very conveniently into one spot where I am obviously meant to react like a Neanderthal. I know it wasn't you. I know it was some sort of game and what has me angry is the fact that every time I think that Lucas shows some redeeming feature he pulls a stunt like this and he ... damnit, he's hurt you in the process!"

"I do a pretty good job of that on my own." He pulled away from cupping hands, and instead ducked his head down against Clark's coat. It was cold, but it still smelled like Clark. "Please let's get out of here. I'll even let you drive."

"Okay," Clark agreed softly. "We'll talk about this when we are back home yeah?"

"Sure." And until then he'd be working to pull himself back together. Clark's coat fabric absorbed the dampness from his eyes, and he could make himself stop shaking.

The journey back was a quiet, tense affair. Clark kept glancing at Lex, getting progressively more and more concerned that he had somehow mishandled the situation. Still, he recognized Lex's need to be in a safe, secure environment before discussing anything and as such didn't push any more until they were safely up in Lex's apartment with the door locked behind them.

Lex wandered a little desolately into the living room, pulling at his tie with one hand. He wasn't sure what to say, how to start.

Clark was trying to understand. He hadn't blamed Lex had he? Or appeared like he had. Yes, he'd experienced a flash of jealousy at seeing Lex with someone else but that had been totally unconnected to a reason. That was just a visceral reaction. "Lex? Help me out here, what's wrong?"

"Just... sort to trying to calm down. She..." Lex kept his back to Clark as he folded his tie around the width of his hand, winding it flat. "I... she took control. I... I..." Fuck, he was blithering. How do you explain abhorrence to having control seized from him against his will, that had just developed naturally?

"That's what made me angry," Clark murmured. "Because she did that to you."

"I know. But I'm scared that I'm going to fuck up and I thought..." He shrugged his shoulders at Clark, lifting his chin faintly. "I'm just insecure."

"I love you," Clark said simply. "I promise you Lex that I will always give you a chance to explain anything, if you will do the same for me?"

Lex nodded as he shifted his coat off and loosened his collar. "Yeah. I will. Why don't you sit down and relax...? It ... We just escaped another Luthor Family Christmas intact."

"Bloodied but unbowed," Clark replied sitting down and still concerned.

"Sounds like we got lucky." Lex tossed the tie and his coat onto the far side of the sofa, and sat heavily down beside Clark. "You know why I take time off at Christmas?"

"Why?" Clark automatically reached out for him as much out of habit as anything else.

And Lex let him, consciously leaning into him. "Because I don't want to see the cases then, I don't want to know who killed who or shot who, or overdosed, or raped, or what holiday events really did turn into fiascos. I want... I need to not know. Holidays were always something horrible, and I don't want that anymore."

"You won't have that at the farm," Clark replied. "There's always snow, the fire. Mom cooks until you think she expects none of us to move for weeks. We usually play in the snow, all of us. We could give Rockwellian Masterclasses." He smiled at Lex, and it made warmth bloom in Lex's heart. "There's the tree, and Lara will probably fall asleep under it -- she usually does. And Mom and Dad find every excuse to stop under the mistletoe... I want that to be our Christmas."

"That sounds like a distant dream, Clark." Lex turned towards Clark more, putting hands on Clark's shoulders as best as he could. "I appreciate what you've done to make everything closer to reality for me."

"I haven't really done much," Clark replied easily. "I should have stayed with you tonight. I wanted to."

"I didn't expect Victoria to do that. It's not like either of us are psychic." Of course, if Clark wanted to pose as a psychic, with his hearing and his x-ray vision he could've done a better job than most. "What was Lucas showing you?"

"Well it seemed like a grand tour of the changes he was making to LuthorCorp," Clark said. "But in reality, he was making comments about the two of us. Deliberately trying to stir me up. He always thinks of me as the farm boy though."

"He underestimates you." It was a simple statement, sure, but it conveyed what Lex wanted it to. "What... if you don't mind me asking, what did he say?"

"How you would tire of me, and move on. That whatever my reasons, you would see through them eventually," Clark replied. "I put that just down... to our history you know?"

"Yeah." Lex leaned in again, wanting to hold and touch with a degree of need that he had trouble articulating without sounding freakish. "He knows he was lying. I haven't dated in years and years. You... are a massive exception to my rules."

"I'm glad. I make a point of being an exception," Clark leaned back looking up at him, his eyes once again a deep emerald green. "And you are beautiful. I was jealous earlier... not because I thought there was anything wrong, but simply because someone else was touching you, kissing you."

That was enough to entice Lex to a faint shudder, a lungful of stress slipping free. "Against my will. My skin still feels like it's crawling."

Clark tested that with a smoothing stroke. "I do believe you are right," he commented, grinning. "Care to banish the memory? With how it should be done?"

Was Clark offering what Lex thought he was? "Uh... am I reading too much into this, Clark?"

"Well, I meant a kiss," Clark said. "But I've told you before that whenever you're ready, I am too."

He really wanted to say he was ready. Wanted to be ready, because when someone said something like that, it meant 'any time now'. Lex leaned in, pressing his mouth gently against Clark's. "I'll take a few kisses."

Clark kissed at his lips and then smiled. "Lex, I have a terrible confession to make."

There was something... playful to Clark's voice that kept Lex from going stiff at the words. "What?"

"I'm not a qualified dentist either," Clark replied somberly. "Which probably means I have no business anywhere near your mouth either."

"You're my... boyfriend. You get a free pass." Lex kissed him again, eyes closing a little so he could better enjoy the way that lips rubbed lips, the faint friction of Clark's mouth.

If Clark had anything to say to that it was soon swallowed up by the sensation of kissing as he sucked at Lex's bottom lip playfully before teasing with light kisses brushed around Lex's lips rather than on them. It distracted Lex from thinking too heavily on what he'd said. Clark had said it first, earlier in the evening, which was an open door for Lex to make use of the concept. Clark was... his boyfriend. Spending time with him, visiting him in the hospital, making out with him on the sofa.

Things Lex guessed a boyfriend did.

"Maybe we should... get out of these monkey suits?"

"Mm hmm," Clark was still intent on kissing him. "Mm." His fingers worked to unbutton Lex's shirt slowly.

Lex had sort of meant that in a 'change out of clothes and into something else' way, but he was willing to go along with it as long as he kept being kissed, as long as Clark kept making those funny soft mumbles.  
Clark roamed just a little, nuzzling under Lex's jaw line and down the lines of his throat with sounds of satisfaction. For all his distraction, he didn't seem to push too hard in taking off Lex's clothes, though his hands explored. Fingertips idled over his chest, stroking over muscle and the edge of his ribs. It tickled faintly, but it felt so good when it combined with the way that Clark kissed and licked at his neck. No teeth, and that was perfect for making Lex breath hard, perfect for making his dick swell behind expensive pants.

Clark seemed to be very taken with the hollow of his neck, his hair tickling over kiss damped spots as he moaned into his skin softly. And then his tongue darted out, dipping to lave across his skin, tasting the twinge of salt and leaving a tingling pulse of nerves with every pass. Lex's fingers found their way to the back of Clark's neck, and his legs moved, leading him to move into Clark, into his living, breathing source of sensuality.

There was a sense of a humming power around Clark, as he tasted Lex. His tongue found the pulse spot in his neck and suckled gently at it, lips embracing the throb of Lex's heart with a soft hunger. Clark was lost in the softness, the sensations, and the taste. He'd never done this with the freedom of knowing that the other person knew about who and what he was. He could hear the rush of Lex's blood like an ocean, and the thunder of his heart shaking him as it beat against his tongue.

Lex's head fell back, and he moaned. "So good. So good." Quiet, but he said it, hands going tense as he pressed his hips against Clark's stomach.

"Mmm," Clark's response was a hum of agreement against his neck as his hands roamed up over the pale skin to brush gently up over his head. Lex was so beautiful, so...everything. He felt a sense of transcendence as he kissed that skin that swept away thought and concern. He closed his eyes, lost to the pleasure and his control slipped and gravity became as meaningless as any other sensation except for Lex's taste, Lex's warmth, his sound, and his scent...

Lex sucked in a startled breath when he realized that there wasn't any sofa beneath them. "Clark..."

"Mmm?" Clark came out of his trance like state at the sound of shock and looked down, the surprise being enough to kill the mood. "Oh... shit, what am I doing?"

Lex was breathing hard, lips pressure red and damp, a hickey already forming up at the hollow of his throat. "Kissing me...? And ... floating."

They floated back over to the sofa. "I better stop, I ... I nearly lost control," Clark said sounding worried.

Lex shifted, letting go of Clark to get a hold of the sofa again. "It felt..." Good. He couldn't make his heart stop racing.

"I'm sorry, shit, Lex... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rush you."

Clark misinterpreted Lex's hesitation as a manifestation of trauma? It was hard for Lex to not laugh as he wrapped his arms around Clark's shoulders, body slack against the sofa. He wasn't much good as far as anchor weights went, apparently. "No, that felt good."

"It did?" Clark beamed at him. "I was... just overwhelmed by you. I only meant to kiss you a little."

"I only meant that we should change out of our tuxes," Lex countered, grinning a little wildly back at Clark.

That made Clark blush thoroughly. "Oh God, I'm moron. Tell me I'm a moron, Lex."

He reached fingers to cup Clark's hot cheek, and leaned in to kiss the other cheek. "No."

"I'm meant to be the one exercising some control here," Clark replied in a low voice. "I could have... I mean, before you were ready... and ruined everything!"

"You'd stop if I said, wouldn't you?" Now a bit of hesitance cropped up.

"Yeah, of course," Clark replied. "Only, I thought that was what you were worried about...that you wouldn't say no and would do it anyway?"

Lex's smile wavered then leapt large again. "It ... is. But, you'd stick around to pick up the pieces, so I'm okay with it."

"I couldn't give up on you, not for anything," Clark agreed. "And because of that, I am going to try and control my urge to lick and kiss you all over, and potentially float us to the ceiling and through it."

He sighed, and tried to sink his ass down into the cushion so he wasn't rubbing against Clark. "I can handle that. Should... I should probably run and change now."

"I should do the same. Do you want me to stay tonight?" Clark asked.

"I can drive you home tomorrow morning," Lex offered with a smile. "And I'll make breakfast, if you want me to? I'll definitely be waiting for you when you get off work to help you Christmas shop."

"Yeah." Clark looked happy with that. "You go get changed. We can watch a movie or something."  
The party was dismissed from their recollection with ease.

Or at least, it was forgiven between the two of them. Lex didn't want to dwell. "Yeah. Let me just put Victoria's check in the safe. I'll have to deposit it tomorrow if she didn't void it." Lex pulled away slowly, and grabbed his coat and tie from the other side of the sofa.

"Somehow I don't think she will," Clark replied. "It was too public there for her to back out of it."

"Good point." Lex exhaled, then walked down the hallway, pulling various checks and business cards out of his pockets as he went. They were put in the safe in his toy room, and the cards were put in the hands of a LEGO squirrel.

They had done well that night at the party for the charities that he supported. He took satisfaction in knowing that because of him there were a lot of kids not going through the sort of hell he had been through and who would get special presents this year. It never stopped feeling like it was helping in some way, even if it were not quite as obvious and spectacular as Clark's alter ego.

Lex liked the little things he could do. It was important, and like Clark had said, Superman wasn't everywhere. Just... a lot of people had a little of Superman in their hearts, or whatever they wanted to call their goodness, and they used it, as it should be.

He patted the squirrel's head, made a mental note to finish its tail, and then veered towards his bedroom. "Hey, Clark? You left some clothes last time. Do you want me to grab them for you?"

"Yeah, please." Clark called out. "You've got a lot of Christmas films here Lex."

"It's the time of year when people remember to have good endings." Lex sent about carefully removing the tux, and pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt. That'd do just fine, since he knew he'd be settled close to Clark.

"Got any favorites?" Clark called out again, and the smell of a hot chocolate drifted their way. Either he'd made it really quickly, or he had zipped out and got it in between talking. Either was a possibility.

"Uh... all of them?" Lex pulled the plastic bag down over his tux, then hung it up. Clark's changes of pants were in the dresser drawer, and so were a couple of Clark's t-shirts. He didn't accidentally want to suggest something that could possibly embarrass him in front of Clark as his favorite.

"It's a wonderful life?" Clark called out. "It's either that or the Muppets Christmas Carol." He was definitely smiling as he was talking, just from the sound of it.

He was quiet while he grabbed Clark's clothes, but called out once he was in the hallway, "How about the Muppets one?"

"One of Lara and mine's favorites," Clark replied. "I'll just put it in. You've got my clothes? I think a tux is a little over dressed for the Muppets."

"I don't think Gonzo is going to care what you're wearing... But I think the tux is a little over-dressed for a sleeping bag," Lex told him as he held out the change of clothes for Clark.

"Do me a favor and blink?" Clark said as he took them. "Hot chocolate there for you."

The moment Lex turned his head there was a blur and Clark was changed completely. He cued the tape. "C'mon. You have a whole Christmas of this coming your way."

Lex reached for the hot chocolate, and wasn't surprised to find that the sleeping bag was waiting on the sofa, too. "Clark, that sounds fantastic."

Clark didn't answer but just smiled as he got into his now normal position on the couch so they could lie together and indulge Lex's need to make a secure 'nest'. He had to admit; he was rapidly becoming a fan of their little ritual and found it more relaxing than anything he usually tried.

He just hoped that Christmas with Lex at home would be as special as he imagined.

*****

Smallville was a picture postcard of Christmas. Lex knew this because Clark had swooped them over the uninhabited areas on their flight in, showing him the snow glittering in the weak winter sunlight as it lay sculpted into artful drifts and curls. Clark had been right that some of his power seemed to extend enough to dampen the effect of cold, but even so he had still worn a warm coat for the flight in.

The moment he stepped away from Clark, the chill of a Kansas winter touched him and sent both of them running for the farm door.

Clark was carrying a backpack full of Christmas gifts, and once Lex was in the door, was planning to fly back to grab luggage. It was the fastest and most beautiful trip Lex had ever taken -- the Clark 747. The way the sky looked from so far up was going to be imprinted in his mind for years, an irrefutably gorgeous moment in time shared with Clark. The little sweet gestures that Clark made added up quick, equaling a warm pool in Lex's chest. He knocked on the door, half-waiting.

They could hear the rapid thump, thump, thump of feet running at speed to open the door. It was literally flung open and Lara flung herself out. "CK! Lex! Finally! I've been waiting AGES!"

Lex warmed to see the girl again, grinning as he patted her shoulder while she tackled her brother, and then slipped past. "Uh-huh. We had to finish Christmas shopping, so can you forgive us being late?"

"For Christmas shopping yes," Lara said and then turned to hug him too even though he was trying to make his escape.

"Lex, good to see you. Did Clark take the scenic route here?" Martha asked from the kitchen. "Clark, sweetheart, take your things upstairs will you?"

Somewhere in the moments of getting to the door, he had gone and fetched the luggage. It amazed Lex anew every time Clark did something like that.

"Sure Mom." Clark nodded and blurred upstairs and back again, grinning.

"Clark..." Martha sounded shocked, like she wanted to chastise Clark, but... Lex was standing there, smiling as he closed the door behind them, patting Lara's head.

"We took a sort of scenic route."

Lara's eyes went wide. "Mr. Lex *knows*!?" she asked in a rising voice. "He knows?"

Clark nodded. "Yes he does." He gave an amused smile at Lex.

"You told him? I thought we were never ever meant to tell *anyone*!" Lara said disapprovingly. "No matter how much we like them."

"I was just about to say the same thing," Martha said coming closer and treating Clark to a Look.

Oh. That wasn't quite the reaction Lex had expected, and now he felt bad for... for letting Clark put himself in that position. "I'm good at keeping secrets," Lex assured faintly. "He didn't tell me. I guessed."

"Lex recognized me when I rescued him as Superman." Clark didn't look worried. In fact he was beaming.

Martha stopped a moment her expression changing to one of enlightenment. "Oh. Oh!" She smiled. "That's wonderful Clark!"

Lex guessed that Clark had had the same discussion with his parents that he'd had with Lex. About the right person knowing, and... Lex really hoped he was that person, because he had recognized Clark at the time, with more than a little relief in his heart. It had been enough to wash over the trauma that had happened, to soften the pain, knowing that *Clark* had come for him.

He'd always hoped to have a knight in shining armor, and spandex was even better.

"Why's it better?" Lara frowned.

"Hey, Martha, are the boys here -- Oh, there you two are. Where'd you park?"

"They, uh flew," Martha said moving adroitly to rest a hand on her husband's arm. "Lex knows, he recognized Clark as Superman." She compressed the revelation hastily, obviously hoping to bypass an explosion.

"You *did*?" He turned his head a little, staring at Lex. "I'll be damned." Jonathan smiled over at Clark, then turned eyes to Lex that Lex filed away as fatherly and warming. "I'm real glad to hear that."

"You are?" Lara was still looking at all of them like they were nuts, and hell, maybe she was right.

"Of course we are. You're a good man." Jonathan moved forwards to pull Lex into a hug, and Lex didn't draw back. It was like a bear hug, and Lex wanted to laugh. So damned surreal, but so damned good. Martha looked suspiciously liked she had tears in her eyes, even though she was smiling, as if Clark had done more than bring a friend home for Christmas. More like as if he had announced he was getting married.

Lara, on the other hand, wasn't happy at being ignored. "I don't understand! What's going on?"

Clark smiled. "It's okay Lar, Lex is special, so it's okay. He's one of the family now, so it's right that he knows."

Lara looked at them both, and then grinned. "Cool. He could be Uncle Lex....or...um...."

"Don't think too hard, honey." Jonathan ruffled her hair gently as he pulled back, smiling widely. "Why don't you help me bring the firewood in?"

"Sure!" Lara was easily distracted, now that she was sure everything was fine. She also couldn't seem to do anything slowly because she was half out the door before they turned around.

Martha shook her head. "Clark, you really have to stop making these revelations just like that. Your father and I aren't getting any younger."

"I would have thought you would be immune to the shock by now," Clark replied smiling. "Is that food I smell?"

"Always," Martha said dryly.

"If you didn't have any, I'm sure he'd smell what the neighbors were making." Lex teased Clark with that while he shrugged out of his coat. "I'm sorry for the shock, Martha. I thought that Clark might've told you already." Even though phones weren't the safest of medium.

"He has a disturbing habit of doing this," Martha replied. "Well, we have mulled non alcoholic wine -- Lara insists on joining in, or I can make coffee. You want something to eat? Or have you eaten already?"

Lex shook his head. "Mulled not-wine...? Sounds great, Martha. We haven't eaten yet -- Clark and I drove by the department to leave Christmas gifts on my supervisor's desk. It's been a rough month for the shift, so... Some of the gifts took extra thought." Extra procrastination, too. Lex had finally stopped chewing over what to get Adam when Clark had suggested a restaurant gift certificate, which would hopefully be incentive for him and Chloe to have a nice night out on some day off.

"I'm sure they will appreciate it," she replied. "I don't need to ask Clark because he will just eat at any time, so take a seat, and I'll fetch out a few things. We tend to eat light on Christmas Eve."

Clark leaned over and murmured, "Don't believe a word of it Lex."

"I heard that Clark."

"'We' meaning everyone but Clark?" Lex grinned as he pulled out two chairs, half mindful that Clark might want to sit down. "You don't have to go to much trouble... I sort of feel guilty as is."

Martha didn't stop as she started raiding numerous cupboards and shelves. "Whatever for Lex?"

"I didn't bring anything?" He shrugged a little even as he said it. "Will you let me help with dinner tomorrow? I promise that I'm not a bad cook. Food is as much a science as it is an art form."

"Oh never fear, you'll all get put to work at some point tomorrow," Martha replied. "Though it will be a relief to have Clark working at full efficiency."

"Mm. I'm exploited." Clark commented.

"And appreciated." Lex slipped his left hand beneath the table, settling it on Clark's knee and giving him a gentle squeeze. "Smallville looks a lot more beautiful at night than it did the last time I saw it that high up."

"The day of the meteors?" Martha asked laying out plates of bread, salad, cold meats, cheese, random pies, and a seemingly endless supply of everything. "Hmm. You think that is enough? I can do omelets or something hot if you prefer?" She mused.

Lex stared a little as he reached for one cold roll. "Uh, no, this is plenty, thanks. Here, Clark..." He dropped the roll on his own plate while he passed the basket to Clark. "Yeah, the day of the meteors."

"Well, of course, you know now that the story Jonathan mentioned before omitted the detail that we found Clark that day. Wandering around naked." Martha looked at Clark and smiled. "It took us a while to break that habit... about 24 years or so."

"Mom!" Clark protested, already with a mouthful.

Lex laughed as he used a fork to steal a few cold cuts. "I think I'm going to get to hear every embarrassing story your mom's never been able to tell," Lex grinned as he looked sideways at Clark. "If you want any of mine, just ask around the Lab."

"No one tells embarrassing stories like Mom does," Clark groaned.

"I have waited *years* for an audience, Clark. Don't spoil it." Martha replied, watching them eat with satisfaction.

There was a clattering at the door and Lara bounced in carrying all of about 3 small logs even as Jonathan came in behind her with a basket full, looking amused. "Mom? Dad says that we can still get Clark to tell us what he's been doing if Lex knows. Can we?" Lara nearly dropped her logs as she practically bounced up and down.

Martha pointed her towards the bin beside the fireplace. "Put the logs down, and then, if Clark *wants* to, he will."

That caught Lex's interest a little, even as he made himself an impromptu sandwich on a buttermilk roll. Clark didn't usually mention his exploits too much; he tended to show up looking tired after them, and Lex liked to soothe away the tiredness instead of rehashing it. "Please?" Lex grinned sideways at Clark as he picked up his glass. "I've only heard a few. You're usually very humble about it."

Lara seemed to take that as a definite that Clark was going to and ran into the living room.

"Lara, get ready for bed first!" Martha called.

"But it's Christmas Eve! You said I could stay up!" she called back indignantly.

"Did I say you couldn't?" Martha responded. "All I asked you to do was get changed for bed young lady. You'll probably fall asleep."

"No way!" Lara exclaimed and then ran past them upstairs.

"How much sugar has she had today?" Clark asked smiling.

"Two cups of cocoa and I *think* she snuck some cookies," Jonathan bemoaned as he sat down across from them. "Martha, sit down, honey. Everything's already ready for tomorrow."

"Come and tell us Clark, you know Lara loves to hear it. And we do too," Martha encouraged. "You need to tell someone these things."

Clark looked a little embarrassed, but glanced at Lex. "Okay."

"Good, go and sit down, and I'll bring over our pretend mulled wine and the cookies and you can entertain us," Martha said. "That's the only reason we invited you, you know that." She smiled at him again and shooed the pair of them into the living room to the couch.

Lex was still swallowing down his biscuit sandwich as they all got up from the table, Jonathan moving to help Martha get things together. They were sweet with each other, and Lex could see where Clark had learned to be that way. "I figured you had to tell someone," Lex grinned at Clark.

"You realize this will bore you to pieces?" Clark replied and then smiled. "Of course, you know I haven't yet told them about the fight where you saved me. I think that would be suitable don't you?"

"Sure. But, for the record, I find your supposedly mundane moments heroic, too. Everything good counts." Lex eyed the sofa, and once Clark was sitting down, sat down close beside him.

They were treated to the reappearance of the natural disaster area that was known as Lara in a hurry, opting to clamber onto her father as Clark had company. "Story!" she demanded and then at a quelling look from her mother who was serving out the drinks amended that with a belated. "Please."

"Well what do you want to hear? I've got a lot since I last saw you," Clark said. "Including one that Lex is in. Or there is the falling satellite. And then there was the time I had to team up with a few others to stop a very powerful mutant detonating the San Andreas Fault? Along with the usual rescues of course."

"He pulled a ferret out of a drain pipe last week," Lex grinned. While *not* in his suit, just as ordinary Clark Kent, which had made Clark's co-workers sort of shake their heads at him.

"A Falling satellite? Cool! I wanna hear them all!"

Martha was just setting the tray down on the coffee table, and she sat down beside Jonathan and Lara.

"That ferret regretted biting me too, like that one from the rescue center," Clark pointed out. "Okay, okay. Satellite one first or the one with Batman and the Flash? Or the one with Lex saving my life?"

Since Lara seemed to be the one orchestrating the events, it was mostly waiting for her answer while she looked from Lex to Clark and back. "The one with you and Lex."

Clark grinned and put his arm around Lex. "Okay then. Lex can help me. Now, Lex and his friends at work are very important in making sure some really bad guys go to jail. And unsurprisingly, they didn't want there to be anyone to make them go to jail so some of them started to try and make them all stop. It all began just after we had come to visit..."

Clark, it seemed, had been overly modest about his ability to tell a story, since he managed to convey the action and terror of those weeks and their constant battle to stay safe. He managed to gloss over some of the details but he knew that his parents would fill them in mentally. He told them how they had survived the letter bomb, how he had sat with Lex through the night. He told them about the department being kidnapped, of Adam's bravery and how he had desperately been listening trying to hear them all, but failing until that gunshot helped him zero in on their location. And then his despair at finding Lex not there and having to get the others to safety before he could start to listen again and how he barely made it in time.  
He smiled as he recollected what it felt like to be recognized, scared and excited all at the same time, and Martha had to disguise a sniff even as she smiled.

Lex didn't have much to say until Clark was recounting the final battle.

".... so I flew after the other group who were aiming to destroy the entire building, with all of the people I had moved to safety. Their firepower was impressive, but it was like a buffet rather than anything punishing. I was just closing in on them and they launched this last missile at me. Of course I thought it was going to be much like the rest and it was nearly on me when I saw it glow green. In a panic I blasted it with my heat vision and... it detonated. It pulsed out a massive hit of kryptonite radiation and the shrapnel and explosion ripped into me." Clark paused a moment. "I don't know how I was conscious even at all, but I wasn't so much flying then as falling in a direction... and the only place near was Lex's place. And Lex, I knew wouldn't be there. Still...." He sighed. "I wanted there to be somewhere with good memories if they were going to be... um... well, I really didn't think I would make it."

Lex had been as raptly paying attention as Clark's parents and Clark's little sister. The last part jarred him out of it a little. "When they were moving us out of the safe house, we saw the explosion in the sky. One of the SWAT guys said it looked like it had been over by where I lived, so... I slipped away and hailed a taxi. When I got home, I found Clark on the floor of my living room. He crashed in through the window, but since almost everyone had one or two broken windows, it blended right in."

Martha looked horrified. "What did you do?" she asked glancing with concern at Clark.

"I... just started to pull pieces of that green stuff out of him, and threw it out the window." Lex shrugged his shoulders. "It wasn't heroic, it was desperate."

"I was a spectacular wuss about it," Clark replied trying to keep it reasonably light. "It took forever, and Lex kept trying to hush me in case someone came to find out what was going on."

Lex smiled a little, shifting his hand against Clark's side slowly. "He eventually stopped... screaming. I'm pretty sure that I wussed out after a while, too, and passed out."

Lara's eyes were wide. "So you really did save Clark!" she said. "I didn't think anyone could do that!"

"Mom and Dad have done it plenty of times," Clark reminded her. "But you're right, Lex did just seem to know what to do. We hadn't really talked about all of that side of it beforehand. If he hadn't come home just then, if he had decided to try and wait instead of trying to help, or call someone, I probably wouldn't have survived."

"It was just a hunch. His skin was crawling around the pieces of green, so..." He kept stroking his fingers against Clark, faintly jittery. "I couldn't let him die."

"If we ever had any doubts Lex, that would have answered them. Thank you," Martha said with genuine gratitude. "And you, Clark, you have to start telling us about these things!"

Clark had taken hold of Lex's hand and looked apologetic. "I was pretty much fine by the following morning."

"Except for the nausea," Lex pointed out. "They gave him a little time off at work, so we rested and Clark recovered. My boss had a fit that I just walked off..."

Jonathan was smiling as he jostled Lara slightly.

Lara elected to put her arms around her father's neck and curl in to him. "But you were saving Clark. He shouldn't have been angry if you were saving Clark."

"He didn't stay angry for long. But I couldn't tell him exactly what happened. We ended up deciding that Clark had a concussion and ended up at my place."

Jonathan nodded. "That's right. We can't always tell people what's really going on."

"I'm proud of you Clark," Martha said. "You managed to save all of them, and of you too Lex."  
It was obviously a part of the ritual as Clark looked shy and a little embarrassed, but pleased at the same time. It was quite a revelation to discover that he seemed to need some sort of feedback that wasn't sensationalized headlines courtesy of Lois Lane.

Personal feedback. Lex nodded as he laid his head against Clark 's shoulder. "Yeah. I'm real proud of Clark. We're all alive because of him, and the bad guys are behind bars where they belong."

"Yeah! Both you and Lex did real good!" Lara chipped in.

"Really well, Lara, not 'real good'," Martha corrected glancing across at Jonathan. "Now, which story next?"

Lara perked up. "Satellite! Did you go into space Clark? Have you done that before?!"

"Not very often, no," Clark replied. "But yes, this time I had to."

"Tell us about it?" Lex was settled comfortably, waiting to hear *all* of the stories that Clark was going to share with them.

"Get comfortable," Clark warned. "We could be here for some time." And he launched into a long saga of story telling that was at once amusing, thrilling and full of action that went on for quite a while. The Christmas tree lights gleamed on haphazard baubles and home made decorations, as the fire glowed with an ember of warmth as the talk continued.

"...and then Batman looked up and said, once the ground had stopped shaking, "Not bad." After all that down on Earth, and pretty much holding the fault together, I get a "not bad." Oops and I've bored Lara into sleep." Clark finished up, looking at his sister who had dozed off after valiantly trying to stave off sleep by investigating the presents under the tree. She was sprawled out like a cat, near the fire and tree, caught as if she had been listening and fallen asleep with an interested expression on her face.

Lex grinned, still lying against Clark's shoulder. "Huh. I thought it was a pretty exciting story. Must've been the mulled not-wine." He shifted a little. "I didn't know that Batman was so droll and understated. Bruce had a few run-ins with the guy and never mentioned it."

There was a certain shift to Clark's muscles as he responded that indicated he tensed a little at that comparison. "The man is incredible. I sometimes wonder if he does have a mild genetic alteration to make him move like that. Some people have them and don't know it ... like you Lex, and your healing, but I couldn't see it. But still he is more than equal to us. He thinks. I need to learn to think."

"I've been say that for years Clark," Jonathan said as he sipped his drink.

"You think," Lex defended. "I've seen you thinking when you take action. He-- heck, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have ever figured out a way to get my father behind bars."

"That was more luck than judgment," Clark replied. "It occurred to me, that's all. I didn't have to create a solution, it was already there."

"What was that?" Martha asked, interested as she stood to make them a hot drink.

One more drink, and Lex knew he was going to have to eventually get up and piss like a racehorse. Still, it was good and comforting, and he hadn't expected to spend his holidays surrounded by nice people, pretty lights, and ease.

"It, uh, was the adoption agency."

It was Jonathan's reaction that indicated he had touched a sore point. His lined face became grave and he looked like he really wanted to swear, but was restraining himself. "He... he used that place? For... all of... My God."

Lex was more than a little glad that Lara was asleep, but he knew how kids could wake up and catch parts of adult conversations. "Yeah. He adopted Lucas out through the place, too. A little research and ... it seems that Clark and Lucas were the only ones who ... weren't."

Martha paled. "Clark, would you mind taking Lara up to bed? I think your father wants to swear a little, and I wouldn't mind joining him."

Clark got up slowly. "Sure Mom." He very carefully picked up his sister and carried her away and up the stairs.

"God damn it! If Clark..." Jonathan looked shaken.

Lex shifted, leaning back against the sofa now that Clark was carrying his little sister upstairs. "Yeah. Clark got lucky. I'm sure if he had to have done that with him, then he would've known Clark's secret. I hate to say it, but the difference could've been that they were too young. Lucas was just a baby, and Clark was, what, two or three? Seven and up seemed acceptable."

"Lex, sweetheart...if we'd known then, we would never have let him take you back," Martha said. "And I think what Jonathan is struggling with is what might have happened not just to Clark, but to the world if your father had done that to him. You have no idea how strong Clark was even at that age. And if he had grown up with that as his formative opinion of mankind?"

"I know." Lex's mouth thinned a little as he looked over towards the stairs. "But, you know, Martha... a lot of people who went through that went on to do a lot of good. I think Clark has the sort of good in him that it wouldn't have changed what he is. He's a great guy. He would've managed. I'm just glad that he didn't have to."

Martha perched herself on the couch next to him. "You are right Lex, he is different. He's different in a very profound way that has nothing to do with being able to fly, or his strength or speed. It's to do with the way he thinks and feels. Clark cares for people in a way most people never do. I don't think it's something we have specifically taught him, but... I think it is something to do with him and the way things work for him. For normal humans, anything physical is solid and permanent -- you've seen what happens to Clark when he's injured. He feels the pain, but it's temporary. Wounds heal then disappear without a trace. But in contrast, emotions are his permanence. He feels with an intensity that's hard to touch. His friendships are what most people call love. It's confused him for years, and he's always been looking for something else. Because when he is sure, he is very sure. And he is sure about you. You need to know this Lex."

He smiled at her, twisting a little to look at Martha. "I'm not going to screw up with Clark, Martha. He's too important to me. He's the first person I can really trust, so..."

"Believe me, you can trust him," Jonathan added. "You know that sense of 'what is right' that he has? That most people have to think about? That applies to him being in love. He's never been in love before. Infatuation yes, but not love." He smiled slightly, his eyes nearly as blue as Clark's when in Superman mode. "I think that's changed."

"I hope it has," Lex offered with a smile. "It's not exactly going to be easy. I... have a lot of issues I need to work through. But Clark's pretty patient." He said that even as he heard Clark coming down the stairs. "Speak of the devil."

"And he appears," Clark spoke up as he reentered the room.

Martha got up conspicuously. "Well, as I'm going to be up early tomorrow cooking for the hungry, I'm going on up to bed. Coming, love?" She gave her husband a meaningful look.

"What? Oh. Oh yeah. Good idea Martha." Giving a smile at them both, the pair of them rather unsubtly said good night and headed upstairs.

Clark looked amused. "My parents, the Machiavellian masters. Do you think we've been left alone for a reason?"

"I think I know why," Lex murmured as he shifted, stretching an arm out over the back of the sofa. "C'mere. I want to show you some appreciation. This has been a good night."

"What, me boring you all with stories of Superman's exploits?" Clark replied as he walked around the couch to settle within the bounds of that arm.

"You're far from boring, Clark. I was just talking to your parents about that sort of thing." Lex pulled at Clark, half-pulling him against Lex.

"Oh?" Clark was right up close, his eyes looking directly into Lex's with that 'look' that said louder than any words that of all the wonders Clark could see, all the fantastic places in the universe he could be, there was nowhere better than this moment, and no sight better than looking into Lex's eyes. Love seemed too small a word for what was in his expression at that moment, even for all their teasing and banter.

"We were talking about... love, Clark. I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience. How you haven't let me screw this up. You're too important to me to let my subconscious issues sabotage this." He leaned in, pressed lips gently to kiss Clark

Clark tasted the spices of Christmas on his lips and murmured softly. "You've done the most of it. And...I love you, with your issues and all. There's no conditions on that."

"That's pretty novel for me. It's good to know, though. I..." He tightened his arms around Clark a little, happy to end up squished beneath the other man. "I love you, too."

Clark was incredibly responsive to that sort of expression. He lit up, happy and bright touching Lex's face as if he was a priceless treasure. "Let's make sure we get value out of the mistletoe, huh?"

"We're under the mistletoe?" Lex asked, distractedly looking up for a second. No, it was over to the left and behind them, in the doorway. And he probably looked pretty goofy twisted to figure that out.

They were abruptly floating over to the doorway. "Yes," Clark murmured, holding him close as they floated in the air beneath the bunch of white berries. The window was visible from where they were, and snow was falling in dancing patterns beyond the pane on one side, and the warm gold of firelight and multicolored stars and shimmer of the tree embraced them on the other.

"Merry Christmas Lex," Clark murmured as he leaned to kiss him again with all the warmth and emotion he could muster.

It left Lex a little breathless, holding tight to Clark as he smiled back at him. "It is. Merry Christmas Clark, it's your fault I'm having one."

"I'll take the blame for that," Clark replied. "Do you want to sleep together tonight? Just sleep? In my old bed?"

"Could we?" He tightened his arms around Clark's shoulders. "I promise to not freak out."

"There's nothing I would want more," Clark replied holding him comfortably in his arms and floating them up the stairs just because he could.

"Show off," Lex chuckled softly.

Clark looked a little embarrassed at that but smiled as well in a shy rather than embarrassed way. "I can stop if you would prefer?"

"No." Lex smiled smugly back at him. "To your bedroom!"

"Your wish is my command," Clark replied and they glided easily up the stairs and to Clark's old room with his old bed where Clark did a rather fancy pirouette with Lex and then let them bounce on the abused springs and he chuckled.

Lex laughed as he held onto Clark. "Shhh. We don't want to wake up your sister."

"We won't. She'll wake up early in the morning," Clark murmured. "Need help changing for bed?"  
His hands were stroking over his neck, rolling them just a little so Lex wasn't pinned by him.

"Maybe I do." That would involve Clark seeing him naked, yes, but in a non-sexual sort of way. If anything around Clark could ever be considered non-sexual. "Might help me ease through some issues, huh? Seeing as we need to keep relatively quiet."

"Then let me help you," Clark replied and moved to kiss him, much as he had on the night where they had nearly gone too far. His hands were gentle and warm slipping down to find skin beneath fabric. "If you feel uncomfortable just tell me."

"I will, if it happens," Lex promised as he shifted, his own hands clinging loosely to Clark again to keep himself grounded in reality. No thinking, no comparisons to either the abuse or his wild days. Just... feeling the way that Clark's fingertips were so delicate and careful with him.

The shirt was unbuttoned even as the kisses began, not as intense as before but just as tender. Every bit of flesh exposed was welcomed with a soft press of lips, down on to his chest. Clark couldn't help himself; he had to lick Lex's nipple as it peeked out, savoring the pebbly texture and tightness as it hardened.

Every kiss was met with some soft sound, and Lex started to have trouble staying in the then and now, right until that gentle lick that sent a bolt of fire sliding down his nerves straight to his crotch. Lex moved a hand to cover his own mouth, biting back the noise that he wanted to make. Fuck, he was hard.

Clark made his way over to the other side of Lex's chest and kiss around that nipple until it contract into a hardness of desire and then he placed a kiss on the top of it softly as the snow falling outside and then enveloped it with his mouth and sucked it into the heat of his mouth

Abstinence could certainly make the heart grow fonder of certain acts. The body, too, because Lex went stiff as he gasped against his own palm, body as tight as a bowstring. Sucking, not too hard but not weak sucking, either, just enough to make him *feel* it, to pull that thread of fire up from his groin and into his chest.

"You like that..." Clark whispered up at him, his breath drying the moist wet trail of his mouth. "I'll remember that."

And he pulled the shirt from Lex's torso and kissed down to his abdomen and navel.

Lex gasped on the short period of time where he had to pull his hand from his own mouth. "God, that feels good. Don't... let it go too far. Just... this feel so good."

Clark smiled pausing in a kiss. Lex had finally done it. He'd set a mental boundary. It was a start at least. "I won't love, but by all means if you want to get yourself off, then do so." He was reaching for the pants, very carefully.

Lex's hands rubbed at Clark's shoulders nervously as he felt Clark reach there. "I might," as long as he stayed okay.

Clark very slowly pulled of Lex's pants but didn't make a move on anything else. Instead he returned to Lex's torso and chest to ease the tension in the muscles that he could feel and see. Kisses on his mouth, on his neck, licks to his chest and teasing soft sucks.

Nothing lower. It made it easier for Lex to lift his hips, made it easier for him to stay calm when Clark slipped his underwear down far enough that Lex could kick it off.

He managed to kick off his socks too and for a moment was completely oblivious to the fact that he was actually naked with Clark. Clark had been naked with him, but never the other way around. His thoughts were being drowned out by his feelings as Clark shed his own top but kept on his own pants as he attended to Lex's pale skin.

Everything Clark did was so good, so sweet, and that was what Lex wanted the most. Not just to feel that good, but to feel that safe at the same time. He pressed his hips up against Clark's, not minding the scrape of denim against skin.

Clark wanted nothing more than to tease his hand down there, but that would have been too much too soon. What he did do was relax his mental grip on his own erection and let it press yearningly against that denim as evidence that he was enjoying this as well. How could he not be? Lex was there, in his bed like an angel.

Well. If angels gasped like that, arching up to pull Clark down for a kiss as he pressed back, maybe they could both get off that way. Lex didn't seem to be protesting that it was too much.

He ought to check though. He had promised and ...

God, Lex was sucking all the air from his lungs! Just as well he didn't need to breathe much. He rubbed gently against Lex and surfaced. "Too much?"

It was almost a gasp rather than a question.

"N-no, don't ... stop." It would've been hard to tell what Lex meant if Clark didn't know him. It wasn't a tremor or a hesitance in Lex's voice, it was a demand, a need, and he kept moving instead of going rabbit-still in Clark 's arms.

Clark settled back on the sensitive nipple again working at it, sucking in a way that seemed to draw Lex's body up to press against him and then slide back again. "Mmm..." He made the noise even as he sucked, as he had before. Small soft noises of appreciation and sensuality direct against skin.

He soon enough had Lex's whole body humming with the noises, arching and rubbing, and...

It didn't take long for Lex's senses to burst like an over-blown balloon, arms clutching tight at Lex as he jerkily humped up against him and came all over the crotch of Clark 's jeans.

The sight of Lex like that and the sudden burst of sex was enough to jolt Clark to follow, albeit less obviously. "Oh God Lex, Lex...." Clark was breathing hard which had to be desire rather than exertion.

"Uhn..." Lex would've crushed Clark, if he had Clark's strength, because he was still holding tight. "Mine. I am keeping you and never letting anyone else have you. God."

"You okay? Not too much?" Clark had to check again, even if it was in a whisper.

"Your jeans need to be washed," Lex informed him as he continued to cling, even if he was relaxing. "I didn't think it could feel that good without being strung out."

"That's just a sample. Tip of the iceberg," Clark promised still holding him. "I felt good, didn't it?"

Lex was looking up at Clark with hazy sated eyes, but he nodded as he shifted beneath Clark. "It felt good, Clark. It felt... like nothing else. Unless your mom slipped something really great into that drink." That was teasing, and Lex squirmed out from under Clark a little. "I think... I need to clean up real quickly. I'll be back."

Clark nodded and handed him a robe from the wardrobe that was little too large and then Lex's own pajama's to change in to if he wanted to. "I'll do the same." He leaned and kissed him again and got up.

It was the sort of treatment that Lex needed. He slipped the robe on, and then wandered out towards the bathroom, mindful that Lara could be sneaking around. At least when he'd been her age, *he* had always snuck out on Christmas Eve.

Fortunately, there were no sounds from her room, though he did catch a few sounds from Martha and Jonathan's room that pretty much guaranteed that they hadn't been listening to what he and Clark had been up to, too busy indulging in their own Christmas Cheer. He was sure by the time he got back to their room that Clark would have everything cleaned up.

He took his own time cleaning up, used a washcloth, brushed his teeth, went about his business, then wandered back, changed into warm pajamas. He was going to sleep with Clark, which, while not a *new* thing, would be new doing it in a bed without Clark being ill. The novelty never seemed to wear off that someone wanted to share a bed with him just to lay close and comfortable. Not only for sex but also for companionship and love, maybe more so.

Clark seemed to relish just being with him. That thought was always a miracle to him. He didn't understand it, not that anyone would want to be with him just to be with *him*. Clark was already in the bed, also dressed in pajamas which Lex knew wasn't necessary, but even so he still did it because it would be easier for him and easier for Lex.

He closed the bedroom door behind him, and moved to crawl in beneath the sheets, getting close to Clark because he wanted to and not just because the bed was small. After all, he'd learned pretty well how to get as far away from people as possible in a tight space. If he had to... "Clark...?"

"Mmm?" Clark moved easily to accommodate him.

"You're perfect," Lex whispered as he tucked himself against Clark. He gave a shiver, stretching for a moment to not think. It was harder without the pills, but he really needed to learn to cope. Pills worked for some people, but not him. After all, he had to pop them just to 'cope'. "Perfect to me."

"That's a coincidence, you are to me too," Clark murmured back, draping his arm over him. "Always. It's going to be a good Christmas Lex, and an even better new year for us both. I promise."

He smiled against the fabric of Clark's pajama top. "I know. Goodnight."

"Goodnight love," Clark kissed his forehead, seeing the gleam of moisture around Lex's eyes. He chose not to say anything. Some moments of happiness were meant to be private, perfect moments where casting them in words or breaking their womb of silence would shatter their perfection.

Clark knew this to be true, because at that moment all of that lay trembling between them on fragile wings, brushing them both with its touch.

Lex lay silently in his arms for a long while before sleep and happy exhaustion carried him away, wrapped up in a feeling of safety.

*****

The bliss of Christmas seemed unreal in his memory in the cold gray light of January as the pre-trial work gathered momentum and every day it seemed there was some message regarding everything that refused to let him forget about what was happening. Lawyers -- horrendously expensive lawyers at that -- picked over the carcass of the past like carrion crows in constant flurries of legalese.

As the time of Lex's deposition drew nearer, dread and anticipation had him to a barely contained stage of panic. It didn't help that he had been at work prior to it happening. It didn't help that he wasn't allowed moral support of any kind and he was wrenched from his dependence of Clark's comforting presence and thrust into the lion's den.

By the time the two lawyers - and he was hard pressed to work out which of them was technically on his side - had finished with the preliminaries and were starting to indulge in what felt like methodical and deliberate character assassination, Lex was barely clinging on by a thread.

"So, Lex... you have a history of drug and alcohol abuse, is that correct?" Orson, the lawyer for the defense was fixing him with dark shark eyes.

"Yes. I've been drug and alcohol free for a decade now." Which was more than the mere 'yes' the man was looking for, but damnit, he had to say something, had to qualify it. He half wanted to ask back 'Look, wouldn't you have done that, too?'

"Is it fair to say that some of your recollections during that time are dubious? I mean your ability to remember rather than the content," Orson qualified the question. Perez, the lawyer for the prosecution looked at him as if that was a very predictable move.

Not that Perez had done much that Lex considered helpful towards him. "It's possible. But I didn't start to do drugs until I was thirteen. After my mother died."

Perez jumped in. "Mr. Luthor, can you be clear about why you started chemical abuse?"

"Yes. I couldn't cope with what was going on in my life at the time. With my mother dead, I was afraid that the abuse would escalate."

"And did it?" Perez queried.

"No. I hit a growth spurt around that time, and they lost interest in me." Calm. He could stay calm, and just... center his thoughts. After it was over, he was going to go back to his place and hide. Pulling a double shift was better than that.

Orson cleared his throat. "Isn't it possible Lex, that your memories are warped and disturbed by a long term drug and alcohol abuse? You were only a young child and you had just suffered a traumatic loss....?"

"No, no, it's *not* possible. I might be a little blank on what happened during my college education, but I remember every time that those people hurt me very *vividly*. It's not the sort of thing you forget. I wasn't suffering from a traumatic loss when I was *nine* and some fat fuck was shoving a soda can up my ass."

"You have repeatedly mentioned this incident," Orson replied with infuriating calm. "Are you sure you're not overstating what happened? It seems a trifle.... theatrical." That he was trying to trivialize Lex's experiences was becoming increasingly evident.

Lex sat back in the chair, and reached for his water glass, having to take a moment to calm himself. "I'm *sure* I'm not overstating, sir. Would you like to look at the pictures? Because they took *extensive* photographs documenting it."

"Photographs such as those can be altered or faked. That is a fact. There is the possibility that you are experiencing false memory. Particularly as you were undergoing therapy sessions with the late Dr. Foster who was on the verge of being struck off for her unethical treatment." Orson smiled insincerely.

"The examination report shows those pictures are not tampered with." Perez interjected.

"The principle exists," Orson countered. "Lex, would you say that in retrospect, your therapy sessions were harmful to your mental health?"

"I would say that they weren't helpful. She didn't... do anything." Lex took another sip of his water. "I basically was paying her to smile, nod, and tell me to not dwell on, think about, or talk about my past. Ever."

"However, she did prescribe you medications which were addictive in nature, and performed an extensive psychological battery of tests, and produced data that indicated that you are paranoid, neurotic with a tendency to psychoses and potential schizoform tendencies with obsessive compulsive disorder. This is scarcely the profile of a reliable witness."

"Lex, would you say that your issues are a direct result of the abuse you underwent as a child?" Perez countered.

"Yes." It was easy to say that. "It's very hard to trust people after what I went through as a child, and I have a... a number of triggers that I have to avoid. And as you said yourself, sir," Lex murmured, looking at Orson, "You said that Dr. Foster was going to be struck off for her lack of ethics. I wouldn't trust any testing results that she produced. The Police Department's psychological analysis found me slightly neurotic and obsessive, but certainly fit for my job in the Criminology Lab."

"Let's get down to specifics then. Let's start with an example of the experience you went through with the defendants." Perez gestured for him to start explaining.

"From the very start? All of the defendants, or do you want specific ones?" He really wished that he hadn't finished his glass of water already. Perez probably didn't know what sort of explanation he was looking for. It was the kind of thing that was going to leave Lex really wishing he had those pills, supposedly addictive or not.

"Let's start with Morgan Edge." Perez watched him carefully.

Lex only wished that his expression was stony-faced. Instead, it twisted, and he had to close his eyes for a moment. "All right. I met Morgan the... third time that I was dropped off at Dominic's house. The routine was what I was starting to realize was the usual one. I was instructed to undress; the carpet in the living room was covered with some sort of drop cloth, and the blinds were blackout blinds. Morgan was sitting on the sofa this time, and there was a camera on a tripod in the corner. Like usual. They... once I was undressed, he had me crawl onto Edge's lap. They discussed something, I can't remember what, and Morgan fondled me and kept telling me to stop crying. After a little while, both of them made me suck them off, and Morgan... fingered me. He... used a lot of lubricant, and Dominic started to take pictures." His voice was shaking, stopping and starting in strength.

"Did you at any point tell them that you didn't want to do it, or say no?" Orson jumped in hastily.  
Both lawyers seemed totally unmoved by the facts.

"Frequently." They probably saw a lot of it. They probably just didn't *care* anymore, which was the best way to deal with a job like that. You couldn't get too over-involved in that field. Lex shifted his hands to the arms of the chair, clutching hard.

"Was that the extent of what he did?" Perez asked.

"That first time he stopped at... using his hands. Then there was the, uh, Meteor shower, and I was in the hospital for a few months. The next time I was left at Dominic's house, Morgan... fucked me. After that, things escalated fairly quickly." He was vague about those things because he didn't want to say. Things like in that picture, things that only happened after he lost his hair. It was a turning point, the turning point in Lex's life. Where Lionel decided that Lex was worthless and replaceable.

"Be specific Lex," Orson said implacably. "A general accusation of abuse is open to interpretation. Muttering dark veiled hints about the horrors perpetrated is scarcely convincing testimony."

Lex bit down the urge to snap 'fuck you'. He knew what the defense lawyer was trying to do. He was trying to keep Lex from talking -- well, he was in for a nasty surprise. "All right. I'll be more specific. Can I get another glass of water? This is going to take a while."

"You have the right to request a break at any time Mr. Luthor," Orson said with a hint of condescension. "Please, help yourself." He gestured to the refreshments on the side table.

Lex got up, stretching and cracking his knuckles, but just long enough to get a glass of water. He could feel them watching him, and it left him edgy and tired. Yeah. They were going to hear every last fucking detail, and he hoped it made their ears bleed.

It took just a second to sit down again, and then Lex started to describe every sordid, sick detail of his first full sexual encounter. At age nine, with a man that his father had grown up with.

It was hard to do. He had never willingly called up those memories before and there was something missing from this situation. All they were doing was pressing for more and more detail ... more horror, more of everything, not giving him the emotional responses he needed as he bared his soul. He felt nine again inside and he was losing that adult perspective that what had happened was wrong. He needed someone to tell him it wasn't his fault and all they did with their questions was try and make it his fault. Imply that somehow he was a precocious child, promiscuous as his later reputation suggested. Play on every embedded emotional wound and constructed fear and guilt trip that had bound him in silence for so many years.

And all he could do was keep talking, keep telling the truth. Keep hoping that they *understood*, but they didn't. They just kept questioning him. Stretching their imaginations to poke holes in his reality, and he just grew shakier and shakier as time passed and he gave them more. Told them about the 'parties' where a lot of people showed up to have sex with kids.

And there was no sympathy, no pity, and no emotional reaction at all. Staring coldly back at him like his words were in another language and they just weren't listening.

He began to get a morbid sense that they were watching him crack up piece by piece. Like watching fracture lines filigree through glass, sharp and evidence of a shattered mind. Depression and despair crushed him as he stumbled his way through ever increasing horrors.

Horrors that the defending attorney simply didn't seem to believe. He asked Lex things like 'How could two penises fit into a human anus', and Lex... had to explain how it happened. The disbelief didn't go away even as Lex countered every truth with a detail until he wanted to hide. 'How could someone do things like that?' Lex wanted to know, too, and said as much.

He really wanted to know how they could do that to *him*. He was a victim. He hadn't ever hurt anyone; he'd spent the past years trying to make the world better, trying to do good things.

That opened him up to a detailed and scathing attack on his 'so-called' good works, about his own road to Damascus conversion, which seemed so unlikely. Those things might happen like that in movies, but not in real life.

Here at least it was in Perez's interests to build up the good side of his charities and he concentrated on his connection with Bruce Wayne as a source of support.

As if Bruce were any better than *Lex*; just because he spent half of his time pretending to flaunt around Gotham looking fancy. No, clearly anyone who worked a nightshift had to be scummy. What had happened wasn't so strange. He had a near death experience. He survived it. He decided to be a better person.

In some ways this was worse than giving testimony at a full trial. There at least he would have the impression that Perez was on his side. There might be objections to the questions, or an illusion of protection.

An interminable time later and they were still wrangling over one issue.

"So let me get this straight, your father never actually laid a hand on you? Ever? In an abusive or sexual fashion?" Orson said.

"He... no. He *merely* transported me to the place where the abuse took place, told me to do what Dominic said, and that I was helping the family financially if I did what I was told." He was gritting his teeth, fidgeting with a by now empty glass of water.

"You didn't misinterpret that?" Perez added. "He stated a financial connection?"

"Quite clearly. His exact words were closer to I 'would help lift a financial burden from the family'." He couldn't convey how much it had ached to know that his father was complicit in what was hurting him so badly.

"With the extent of the alleged abuse, your father must have been aware of physical injury?" Perez queried.

"Yes. He was. He had personal physicians treat me, but on a couple of occasions I had to be taken to a hospital. When the staff questioned how I... came to be so stretched and torn, uh, down there, he said that he caught me being 'sexually curious' with an inanimate object. They either bought the lie, or were so afraid of him that they couldn't think of anything else to do. I also underwent regular STD testing from the age of nine onwards. My father oversaw every time."

"I have it on expert authority that if many if these incidents occurred as you described them, then they would have been potentially fatal," Orson challenged. "If they occurred how you say then how is it there are not more obvious medical reports reflecting the accuracy of your story?"

"I'm a bit of a medical freak," Lex responded glibly. "You can confer my medical records for *that* information. I recover fast from things that should've killed me. My white blood cell count is through the roof. I can't explain it -- I'm not a doctor."

Orson looked a little disappointed by that. "Can you truthfully say that your father had to be involved in this enterprise? Isn't it possible that he believed there were other things going on?"

"Sure. A nine year old comes home with a thousand dollars tucked into his underwear, crying and begging to never go back there again. I'm *sure* he thought I was at Dominic's house selling Lemonade." Lex worked his jaw and cleared his throat immediately, "Pardon my sarcasm. My father is a chemical genius and a business mogul, not a *moron*."

"But you can't prove motivation." Orson settled back looking satisfied. "Reasonable doubt is all that is required. I have no further questions."

Perez shook his head implying the man was a fool. "Mr. Luthor, do you have anything to add?"

It was something he had been counseled against doing, as it was the point where most witnesses tripped themselves up and ended up contradicting their testimony, which lead to fundamental weaknesses in the case.

And Lex had said enough. He'd said more than he wanted to. "No."

"Then, Mr. Luthor, thank you for your cooperation. You will be informed if you are required to attend the trial as a witness," Perez told him. "Although with the detail of this deposition, that may not be necessary."

The defense might very well call him up for the sole purpose of seeing if he'd crack in a crowded room full of people watching him. "Of course. I... I can go now?" He had to get out of there, because now that it was over, he was going to be sick.

"Yes. Of course." Perez and Orson stood up to see him off. Neither reached to shake his hand, or say anything in sympathy. Lex felt like he was some biological specimen that had just been dissected.

He steadied himself as he got to his feet, and then walked for the door. He wasn't going to shake either of their hands. Orson was going to get punched in the face before Lex shook his hand. No, they were busy men and he was just a cog in the wheel, a cog that needed to find the men's bathroom.

He mumbled his excuses and stumbled out, pulling at the tie that felt like an expensive garrote around his neck. He didn't want anyone to see him like that. He didn't want to see anyone, or talk about it or... anything.

He'd promised to call Clark, at least leave something with Clark's voicemail, but he just couldn't. He was too shaken up, too manhandled by words and concepts to do more than make it to the bathroom, fall to his knees, and vomit into one of the toilets in a stall.

How the hell was it that every time he had a glimmer of something good in his life it all turned to shit?  
He threw up until he was shaking and emotional. No one could ever understand. It was just facts to them and somehow it was his fault.

And that was why he never talked about it. It was always, always that reaction. That same reaction, except for Fred, but... Winters had a certain way of saying things to make people say more. And Lex didn't know what to think anymore. Maybe it was his fault. Maybe he looked at them the wrong way and they thought it was okay. Maybe he didn't protest enough, or fight back often enough.

So they thought it was okay to do things like that. To end up killing kids like that little girl. Just some kid with bad luck and no family. It wasn't her fault.

But maybe, just maybe, it was Lex's.

His hands were shaking as he picked himself up. Then he splashed cold water over his face and rinsed some of the acidity out of his mouth. His secrets had been torn from him and he was left with gaping wounds to see to by himself. He knew how to do that. He knew how to cope. It involved locking himself away, and making it so he didn't think about it any more.

That was the only way to cope that was acceptable. Once upon a time he'd done drugs and he had to admit that they made the hurting stop. Just for a little while. But after Winters made him discuss the pictures, he'd tucked himself away in his home. And he'd do it again...

He just had to get himself home.

Lex wiped away the perspiration, and stood turning to the door. He'd gotten through this before, and he would again.

And he'd do it alone.

*****

He was getting a busy signal on Lex's house phone. No response on his cell phone, except to be shunted to voicemail, and no response on the house phone because of that busy signal. It was past when Lex should've called him, and there wasn't any response. Just ... nothing.

Nothing, and Lois wanted him to go out on a stakeout with her at an office building.

He wasn't willing to commit himself until he had spoken to Lex. "Maybe you could take Jimmy?" he suggested glancing at his watch again. Why hadn't Lex called? Why was his phone busy? Was it a fault on the line or deliberate?

"Why, do you have a hot date? Clark, you know that Jimmy has no backbone," Lois clicked her tongue as she leaned her chair over a little, looking at him.

"Oh and I suddenly do?" Clark asked, pushing his glasses up his nose. "Look, I'm expecting to hear from someone and ..." He glanced at his watch. "I'm getting a bit worried."

"Clark. You're showing all your cards on your face again. Is this call you're waiting for from your boyfriend?"

"Yes." There was no point in lying to Lois. "He promised to call before five, and..." It was way beyond five, and he should be leaving soon, if he didn't go on the stake out.

"So maybe he's running late. Maybe he stopped somewhere and got a coffee. C'mon. Leave a message and let 's get going," Lois jostled. "It's time we get going on this."

"It's not like Lex not to do what he says he is going to do," Clark said. "Lois, I... I think I'm going to have to go round to his place. If everything is fine, I'll meet you for the stakeout but I can't take the chance. Not today."

"Okay, Kent." Lois's expression was put upon, and she put her hands up a little before she went back to stuffing things into her purse. "Fine. If Perry decides to rip you a new one, though... it's not on my head. Call me."

"It's his deposition day," Clark said quietly, even as he reached for his jacket. "Even in the best case it's not going to be good."

Lois shrugged again, moving to grab her coat, too. Clark could tell that he wasn't getting through to her, just from the way she continued to act put out. She'd just have to get over it. "Okay. It's still your call, Kent. Have a good night, and I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah." Clark nodded. "See you then." He cared for Lois and the stories, but when it came to the prospect of Lex and what state he might be in after the deposition -- which he had had to swear NOT to listen in on -- he wasn't taking any chances. If Perry were unhappy then Perry would be unhappy. He never thought he'd say it but Lex was important enough that he would leave his job in a heartbeat if it threatened what was between them.

He could always get another job, but he couldn't get himself another Lex. And if something happened to Lex, he didn't know what he'd do. Lois just didn't understand that -- she put it down as obsessiveness, just like Winters did and Adam, too.

It was going to take every bit of willpower Clark had to drive, not fly to Lex 's. But if there was one thing that he did know was that though Lex might long for a superhero rescue, what he actually needed was a far more prosaic salvation, the sort that could happen every day just because two people were in love. Minus the cloak and spandex. Except under very unusual circumstances, of course.

The smile didn't last long as his thoughts drifted horribly to thoughts of what if. What if it had been too much? What if Lex had taken too many drugs? What if he had deliberately tried to ... God.

Lex had mentioned it before. That he was just too much of a coward and too fond of life to kill himself, but that it had crossed his mind before. Lex *never* talked about it, and now he'd had to talk about what had happened, and it left Clark worried. What if revisiting the trauma had been enough impetus for Lex to finally kill himself? Or what if someone had *hurt* Lex, someone that Lionel might've hired?

Lex phoned when he said he was going to phone. He phoned if he was going to be late. Clark did the same, even if it was a superspeed note left for him on his desk as opposed to phoning if he couldn't get through.

By the time he was at Lex's building he was half convinced something terrible was happening and half jogged to Lex's apartment and knocked on the door. "Lex? Lex? You okay? You there?" Of course if he just stopped panicking for a moment he could have confirmed for himself that Lex was, but he was too anxious.

The other side of the door wasn't entirely silent; it sounded like there was a TV set on, on low like usual because Lex liked the illusion of company. Soon, the door swung inwards, and he was met with a despondent-looking Lex. "Clark. Hey."

"Lex!" Clark stepped in and paused, reviewing what he had been about to say.

'I thought you were dead' seemed ridiculously melodramatic now that Lex was in front of him. "I... was worried about you Lex, when you didn't call. So I thought I'd come over and see how you were."

He didn't get a verbal reply to his worry, no, that probably would've been too easy. Lex leaned forwards, and slouched against Clark, hugging him loosely and making no move to get Clark out of the doorway, either into the hallway or into his apartment.

Okay, so it was evident Lex was in a bad way. Clark hugged him back. "Should we sit down? Do you want to tell me what happened?"

He shook his head and just stood still, holding onto Clark like he was the only stable thing in Lex 's world. "Don't... I don't want to talk about it. Can we just sit down? I..."

"Sure. Of course..." Clark steered them both over to Lex's couch, his chosen refuge from the world. Thoughts of rejoining Lois were abandoned immediately. His eyes glimmered a hint of blue with the strength of his concern. "Sit down. You don't have to talk right now, but I'm here okay?"

"I know. It ... it wasn't what I expected. It was like I was the one on trial..." Lex let himself be led, willing and clinging onto Clark tenderly even as they sat down.

"Goddamnit! Didn't the prosecuting lawyer stand up for you?" Clark asked, his eye color starting to blaze into the vibrant shades of blue at the injustice of it.

Lex just shrugged his shoulders and kept leaning into Clark. "They were just doing their jobs. I... I don't care. I don't want to have to think."

"That means he didn't. Did they even give you a break? How long were you in there?" Clark queried.

"Couple... two and a half hours? Something like that. I got water once. The defense attorney was sneering at me, so... I made it fast." He was quiet, voice muted. Almost child-like in concern -- Lex was usually flippant towards what people thought of him, ignoring it outright.

Clark stroked over the back of his neck. "Have you had anything to eat Lex?" He worked from the Martha Kent book of dealing with a crisis. First check all body parts are attached. Then make sure they've eaten.

"Mac and cheese. I've been trying to sleep, but I can't." Lex exhaled softly, then sucked in another breath, trying to force himself to relax against Clark, like he wanted to melt into the other man.

"You want anything else? A drink or... I can get us something in a second?" Clark offered softly.

"I just want you." Lex pressed is face against Clark's neck, still leaning comfortably into him. "I really... just want to feel loved right now. Here's the best place to be. No talking, just..."

"I can do that," Clark replied, his face showing his concern. "I can be here for you, I love you Lex. C'mere." He reached to gather him up onto him, into his embrace.

Another quiet sigh, and Lex hugged onto him, holding and being held. Clark knew that Lex still needed to shower and get dressed, but he had three hours before he had to do that for work. For now, holding onto Clark like the world was going to end seemed to be helping Lex. It didn't fix everything, and Clark could tell from the way that Lex stayed faintly tense.

There was still something wrong.

He waited a while before speaking, hoping that would dissipate a little. But it didn't. "You want to talk about what's bothering you?" Clark asked softly.

"No." It was stubborn-sounding, and Lex didn't move. "Tell me about your day?"

"Well, Lois and I've been tracking a drugs syndicate, and we were doing preliminaries all day. I threw off a few pieces to keep Perry happy," Clark replied. "And then we were meant to be on a stake out tonight. Well, Lois said we were meant to be on a stake out tonight, but I said I was coming back here to see how you were. Pretty standard."

"You two should leave that to the police," Lex murmured against Clark's shirt. "They get jittery when civilians start doing their jobs, particularly unarmed."

"Yeah, well that's why investigative reporters get paid a reasonable amount," Clark replied. "I'd only have to go off rescuing Lois anyway. God alone knows how she survived before I became her partner."  
He stroked very gently over his face, sensing that anything remotely sexual would be a disaster.

A tiny bit more tension slipped from Lex in response to the stroking, and Lex shifted one arm to hold onto Clark a little more gently. "Her dad's a general, right? She's probably pretty competent at saving herself. Sometimes. Maybe she's just lucky?"

"She certainly has a knack of irritating people until they feel compelled to do something about her," Clark replied with a slight smile. "I'll give her credit, she always gets the story. I just wish she could get the human side of it. I usually end up putting that part in, which is pretty ironic."

"I don't find it ironic." Lex shifted a little, looking at the side of Clarks' face for a minute before he put his head back down. "You're aware you have a human part in you, and very aware of how human other people are. Most people just forget."

"Do you?" Clark asked carefully, even as his hand continued to stroke gently, comfortingly as if Lex were an animal that needed to be soothed.

"I could. I... try not to." There was an idle shifting of fingers, just caressing at the back of Clark's neck.

"I wish I could have been with you Lex, really," Clark murmured, reacting a little to that touch.

"I know. I just..." Lex exhaled, breath warm against Clark's skin. "I don't know if that would've helped or made it worse."

"I could have glared at them," Clark suggested. "I would have held your hand no matter what they said about it being improper or whatever. I would have brought you home and held you like we are now. I would have done everything I could to have made it easier for you."

"You're sweet. I don't know what I did to deserve this." Clark could feel Lex's muscles stretching beneath his hands, and then, finally, the other man relaxed bonelessly against him. "If you had been there, they would've questioned me about you. And I would've gotten really pissed off."

"Maybe it would have been better if you had gotten angry," Clark suggested. "I mean, if anyone has a right to be angry then it's you."

Lex's mouth twisted into a smile and he murmured, "I got a little angry, and pointed out that my father was a genius, not a moron. But I think I was well behaved." If only the lawyers had been as well behaved towards him. Two and a half hours of it, maybe more. Lex's sense of time had always been a little skewed to things happening faster than they had.

"Good." Clark shifted against him. "You want to try and sleep a little? Otherwise you'll feel lousy tonight. Or do you want me to call you in sick?"

"I think... I'll need my sick-leave for the trial," Lex replied, fairly thoughtfully. "I could sleep a little. Sorry. This probably isn't how you wanted to spend your evening. We should go out some night..."

"I think this is a damn sight better than sitting in a car with Lois for a good few hours," Clark quipped. "We can go out some time ... anywhere in the world. Perks, you know."

"Perks. We should go to a museum some time. The main one is open pretty late..." Lex shifted, slouching purposefully so he could settle against Clark loosely. He was already sounding sleepy. Clark guessed that he was better than sleeping pills for his lover.

"You like history? Did you ever see that Alexander the Great exhibition? I think it's in Europe right now." Clark knew he was babbling, but it didn't seem to matter what he was saying as long as he was saying something.

"The breastplate was owned by my mom. I donated it," Lex grinned loosely. "I have a whole room of war stuff in storage, insured and all, just waiting for the right show to donate it to..."

Clark grinned a little goofily. "Hey, I rescued that breastplate when the exhibition came to Smallville. I like that. I feel like I started my career in taking care of you early."

"I'll give you a history lesson on it some time..." Lex's hands stroked idly, echoing the soothing motions Clark was giving him.

"I'd love that," Clark replied encouraging Lex to close his eyes and relax. If all he could do was just be here and hold him, then that would be what he would do.

The worst thing about it all was that he knew deep down, for all that Lex started drowsing and getting some rest, that just being there wasn't going to be enough.

*****

It was a music day in the lab. A music day meant that Lex was swamped with work, slammed with things to process, and that the doors were closed and the music was turned up. He needed it to think, to give an air of familiarity to his re-built laboratory. They'd just gotten the last of his really good equipment back in, and it made his life a hell of a lot easier, but it still didn't feel as good as his old lab had, even if he was getting an even better centrifuge sometime in the next month.

Change was the last thing that Lex needed when he already felt like he was treading water.

The changes in him that had been accumulating over the past few months had never been more apparent than when he reverted back to his previous behavior. For nearly a week he had been what his colleagues were referring to as Lex B.C -- Before Clark.

They knew about the deposition, but such was Lex's isolation that he didn't volunteer what had happened, that he barely talked and he threw himself into his work and didn't go to the break room.

Which meant the break room was awash with speculation as to what might have happen, what the problem was and what they were going to do about it.

It was Kieran that volunteered, or had been nominated, to tackle Lex unofficially. The others agreed to stay clear and give him a run at it when he found a moment in his own busy schedule to make it to the lab.

He knocked on the door and entered. "Hey, Lex."

"Oh, hey." Lex flashed Kieran a slightly off kilter grin, and then looked back down to his work. "I've got the tox results for that DB's urine, if that's what you're looking for. The woman was all strung out on x."

"Yeah, I had a feeling that might have been the case. It does strange things to the blood vessels in the eyes, and I thought I spotted something like that," Kieran said stepping in and pushing the door closed. "Actually, I came to see how you're doing."

"A little slammed. CODIS can't keep up with everything I'm trying to run through it today," he answered glibly. "Why?"

"Because frankly, the past week or so, I've watched you slip right back to the 'old' Lex," Kieran replied. "And that's not necessarily a good thing."

"Old Lex...?" Lex looked up as he set two tubes aside. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"No, I had a feeling you wouldn't," Kieran said. He hated confrontation but he had a feeling that he was going to have to push the other man to get him to admit he had a problem. "The old Lex who cuts himself off from everyone, who avoids interaction, who's been hurt. The Lex before the appearance of Clark Kent. So, what is it? The deposition or you've argued with Clark?"

"Clark and I are fine. Things have been fine, and while I really appreciate your concern..." He didn't know what to say to Kieran, other than maybe telling him to get out. What did you do when a colleague and a friend started poking around? As far was Lex was concerned, there wasn't any change for them to have noticed. Or maybe there was. He'd been quieter, but he just... didn't think it had been that much.

"You want me to butt out, I know." Kieran paced a little. "I can't do that this time, Lex. I'm worried about you, I'm worried where this is taking you."

"I'm not very good with this sort of implication laden emotional thing, Kieran. Subtlety is just going to give me a headache today, so... why don't you just be blunt?"

Kieran leaned against the desk. "Lex, I know we've all joked in the past about my ability to 'read' things in people ... in the dead and in the living. Hell, you know I was the one that said that Chloe and Adam would end up getting together and that was over a year ago. What I'm trying to tell you is that what I see happening to you is dangerous to you. I bet that you haven't talked to Clark about this have you? Or anyone?"

"Well, you would've won your bet. I don't talk about it, and every time someone makes me, it just messes me up worse. I'll get over it, I always do." Lex stuck a label on one vial, and then slipped it into the machine.

Kieran shook his head. "No Lex, you never 'got over it' before. You patched yourself up. Fine then, I'll be the bad guy here. You won't get over this unless you talk to someone you can trust. And really talk about it and none of your evasive half answers. Because if you don't, you are always going to secretly believe in your feelings of guilt, in that you haven't ever been forgiven and don't deserve any form of happiness. You're already starting it and you don't realize it -- you are starting to push away anything good in your life."

"I... I'm *not*," Lex insisted. But maybe Kieran was right. Lex didn't know anymore, couldn't tell who was right and who was wrong or why. If he *was* such an apparently obvious wreck, then why did any of them want to bother with him? Clark included. "I'm not pushing anything away, I'm just sort of busy here."

"Are you going to talk to Clark, Lex?" Kieran ignored that phrase. "Or do you want to lose him?"

"He's not going to walk away just because I don't want to talk about that damned deposition. It's, it's more complicated than that..." Lex's hands started to shake a little, and he settled them against the tabletop while the machine did his work for him for the moment. Fuck. He needed, he just needed to stay calm, stay focused. Kieran didn't understand *how* complicated it was.

"I know he's not, and I don't think he will leave you at all, but I do believe your hurt will try and get you to push away everyone," Kieran replied stepping closer and putting his hand on Lex's lower back to steady him as he could see the trembling spreading. "Lex I really think--"

He didn't want to talk, didn't want to be told that he *needed* to talk, and the last thing that Lex needed was to be touched. He was all right with Clark touching him, and maybe because they'd seen him doing so much touching with Clark recently they thought it was okay to start a touch.

It wasn't okay.

Lex jerked forwards, hit his hips against the edge of the table by accident because there wasn't any way for him to go forwards, and then pulled sideways, turning on Kieran with wild eyes. "Don't touch me, all right? I, I really..." Needed his pills. His heart was starting to race, and though Kieran was probably the least frightening guy in the department, Lex couldn't get far enough fast enough, getting over to his desk.

"This is exactly what I am talking about," Kieran said softly, not backing off. "If I could do it for you, you know I would. In fact, there would be a queue of people willing to help I know that. But this is something you have to do. Don't let them win Lex. You trust Clark right?"

"S-sure, I trust Clark. He's a good, a good guy." Drawer pulled open with jerks of motion, and he started to dig for that bottle of pills he *knew* he had in his desk. Or... shit, no, this was the new desk, and they weren't there. It was getting hard to breathe, and most of his concentration started to go to that. "But it's not like I can just... tell him what happened and it all gets f-fucking better."

"No, but when you look at him, you will know he accepts you, and that he wants you, every part of you," Kieran said in a gentler tone, his expression full of the ache of having to put his friend through this. "You need that. You believe if we knew everything that we would hate you don't you? You have that fear in you."

"Not hate, just... you wouldn't understand. You all know enough, enough details." He slammed that drawer, closing his hands into fists. No pills, because Clark had pretty much arbitrarily decided they were bad for him. He knew Clark had taken the ones out of his glove compartment, so there wasn't any point in looking for those.

"Try me, I want to understand," Kieran stepped close again. "What is stopping you talking about it?"

"Because I'm *not* the same person that let that happen! I don't want any of you to look at me and see that," he snapped. The sound of the printer running off a sheet vaguely entered his senses.

"We don't, we won't," Kieran said with quiet certainty. "But you think we will. You need to know someone will believe in you before you'll do that for yourself."

"I *can't*. It's just something you sense, damnit. It's like you can tell that someone's been hurt like that, and I've worked hard to distance myself from that. When I left the court building, I saw a woman walking in. And I just knew, I *knew* she was the next witness giving a deposition. It's been almost twenty years but I can still see it. She flinched from the security guard." Lex sat down heavily, rubbing at his eyes. He couldn't stop shaking, it was hard to breath, and Kieran just kept pressing at him. "That was my worst fear when I was a kid. That you could just look at me and know. And you can. I kept quiet for *years* just so people wouldn't look at me and know, and it didn't matter. That, that little girl died because all of us kept quiet."

"No Lex, you were no accomplice in this. You were the victim and I know you hate to be seen that way, but you were and you are. I know you don't want to admit you had no control at all, but it's true. That girl died because they killed her. If you had said anything before... what are the odds that you would have survived? Look how close we came now, all of us."

"Maybe I shouldn't have survived." The Defense attorney had pointed that much out. That he was apparently a liar if he was alive, and even though Lex was fast to answer that... he still had to wonder.

"Don't ever think that!" Kieran rounded on him with a sharpness that bespoke true worry and anxiety. "I'm sorry I had to do this to you Lex, but I want you to be happy, and I've seen you reaching for that with Clark and finding something... special."

Lex's head was down still, trying to combat the aching that was building behind his eyes. "In those rare times I see him, sure." That probably hadn't been helping him much, either. When he had time off, Clark had to work; you followed stories when they happened. Lex's job overlapped into morning shifts some days, Clark's usually reached into nights because that was when you could follow a lead.

He sucked in a breath, and rubbed at his eyes with the back of one wrist, sitting up. He was going to have to change his gloves now.

"Are you seeing him tonight?" Kieran asked intently, not letting up on the pressure.

Probably only in his dreams. Clark had a full-time job, after all, and a part-time job, and they had crossed hours. What the hell had he been thinking, to think that it *might* work out? "I might."

"I promise I won't mention it again if you promise to talk to him about this," Kieran said having to blink his own eyes rapidly to stop the emotion undoing everything he had tried to accomplish.

All it seemed that he'd accomplished was to pull at Lex's seams, unfurling his self-doubt even more intensely. Yeah, he had something special with Clark and Clark was probably never going to walk away. But that didn't mean he'd be around much, or tolerate Lex Luthor the emotional leech for much longer. And then things would go wrong, just like they had with Bruce. Clark had a whole *world* that adored him as Superman, and a good chunk of Metropolis that liked him as a reporter.

It wasn't like talking was going to fix him. There wasn't a magic cure, anymore than seeking out sex on his *own* free will had fixed him when he was a teenager. There just wasn't any way *to* fix it, and... And he had a lot of cases to process before the shift ended. Particularly if he wanted to get home and sleep so he might be awake *if* Clark happened to drop by. Maybe.

He didn't know.

"Sure. I'll try."

Kieran reached as if to touch him again, unconsciously and had to catch himself and drop his hand. The coroner knew in the end that it would be for the best, he hoped, but right now he hated the hurt that he had caused. "I'm...I'm really sorry Lex," he said picking up the results.

Lex glanced at him, all but saying with his eyes 'You're not', as he got to his feet shakily. "Shit happens. Have a nice night."

He might as well have said 'have a nice life, I never want to see you again'. It was Kieran who nearly flinched then, trying to console himself with the fact that at least it hadn't been any of the others, or Clark who had had to do that. Lex could live without having him as a friend, but he doubted he would survive losing one of the genuine instances of love in his life. "Thanks." He turned to the door, having to swallow a little before he went out. "Goodbye Lex."

Lex gave a vague wave as he steeled himself to go back to work. Kieran had *only* left him with five miserable hours to contemplate that idea while he was at work.

*****

 

So far, every person who'd left Clark's building hadn't been Clark. Sure, it wasn't yet five, and he'd been sitting in his tidily parallel-parked car for an hour now. But it still made him antsy, more than antsy.

He probably shouldn't have had all those espresso shots to curtail the tail edge of the sleeping pills he'd taken to get some sleep once his shift had ended. Now he was wide, wide fucking awake, and he really needed to get up and stretch his legs before they jittered themselves off. His head was still buzzing with thoughts of Kieran's and that Defense Attorney's words, and he was more of a wreck than he'd had the pleasure of being in a while.

It was time to march into the Daily Planet and see if Clark was even *in*. He was probably off on a story. Hell, he was probably off on a story, and then he'd stop by Lex's place and Lex wouldn't be there because Lex had decided he couldn't wait for Clark to wander over to him, no, he had to stalk Clark down at work to make sure that he saw him.

He could just ask at the reception. They'd know if Clark was in there and whether he was wasting his time. Hell, maybe they would know if he was wasting his life. It seemed everyone else knew better than he did.  
It was that dark streak of irony that propelled him forwards in the end, though it wavered as he actually stepped inside. He had never been into the Daily Planet itself before. Clark had always come to him and it was a bewildering place for the uninitiated. Much like the CSI department.

The front office was bustling with noise and people, not the tidy reception that they had blocking the gate into the chaos that *was* their department. In fact, the lobby reminded him sort of like a big bank that had been hollowed out, with that over-sized type of bottom floor. Good for impressing stockholders, just like LuthorCorp had with its reception area. Lex tucked his hands into his pockets for a long moment, and wandered over towards a woman who didn't seem likely to bite his head off for asking a question.

"Excuse me..."

"Just a moment sir," she said with a fake smile and seemed to type a few things randomly just to make him wait before looking up and saying. "How may I help you?"

"I was wondering if you know where I can find Clark Kent."

"Just one moment sir. Do you have an appointment?" she asked, the words tripping from her tongue automatically.

"No." Did he want to play the 'boyfriend' card? Not today, he wasn't feeling confident enough for that.

"Then I'm afraid Mr. Kent is unavailable. Would you like me to leave a message for him?" the receptionist said with that fake pleasantry.

Shit. "Wait, so he's magically available if I have an appointment? Look, it's almost five and I know he gets off then. Can you at least tell me if he's in the *building*?"

"Let me just check sir," she said as her fingers flew across the keyboard in which Lex thought of as more pointless typing. "He is in a scheduled meeting with Mr. White which is due to finish at five. If you want me to send a message upstairs to say that you are here, I am sure he will pick it up when he is out of the meeting."

Great. Clark was busy. Clark was starting to get somewhere as a reporter and Lex was just... clinging. Even showing up there in his office building seemed strange to Lex, and he was the one doing it. "Can you tell him that Lex Luthor's waiting for him down in the lobby?"

That brought a flicker of reaction. "Certainly sir. If you would just like to take a seat, I'll send that message to his desk."

"Thanks." Lex turned around and looked for a seat that was possibly up against a wall and out of the way of the people going in and out. It knocked back to temptation to check if the woman's computer was even plugged into anything.

He could see her giving furtive glances his way even as she apparently passed the message upstairs. There was one small problem. If Clark wasn't there to pick up his messages, there was a good chance someone else would. Which was what Lex was afraid of and waiting for. But he'd tried Clark's cell phone, and he'd been shunted to voicemail, which meant that Clark was busy. Busy on a story or out busy saving the world. So there wasn't much for him to do but sit in the lobby and hope no one read Clark's desk.

No such luck.

"Come to pick up my partner, Lex?" Lois appeared as if summoned forth by the prospect of a story like a journalistic genie. "My, my ... and he didn't say anything about it."

Lex was really glad that he'd dressed up a little, mostly because dressing up did a pretty good job of hiding that he was a wreck beneath his skin. Nicely pressed purple shirt, his favorite black coat, black slacks, just in case he chickened out and asked that Clark take him someplace instead of actually talking. A guy had to be prepared for any eventuality. "It's a surprise."

"Well, how nice." Lois smiled sweetly, which was about as comforting as seeing the flash of a sharks tooth. "We've been having meetings with Perry all afternoon -- he might be a while. How about making the wait worth something? I could do something on your current situation. It would make a good story."

"My current situation? What, you mean that I'm waiting here to take my boyfriend out to dinner?" He passed that off easily, because he really didn't want to know what Clark had told Lois in confidence, which Lex had told Clark in confidence, and what she was blithering freely as they stood in the lobby. He just didn't want to know. After all, Clark was apparently her partner, even though he was Lex's... partner. Boyfriend. Lex didn't know. He didn't seem to be able to make that sort of vast claim on Clark the way that Lois did.

"Scarcely the stuff of headlines," Lois paused and tilted her head in thought. "Unless you consider Kent's drought of a love-life. No, I'm talking about the pre-trial proceedings of course."

"My involvement in the pre-trial proceedings began and ended last week, so if you don't mind, I'm not talking about it."

"Come on, you must have some sort of comment," Lois smiled again. "Clark gave the impression they'd been rough on you. Are you at all apprehensive about the trial?"

"Sure I am. Do you want to work all night only to have to turn around and talk all day? I don't. It'll be like pulling a double-shift." Maybe he could bore her to death, and she'd go away. "When the only DNA samples coming in are teeth."

There was a gleam in her eyes that indicated that she hadn't been put off. "Speaking of DNA samples, have you got an ID on the victim yet? Or even a lead?"

"They're still looking." But he was going to make sure that she was buried properly, and maybe they'd find her real parents. Or find that she'd been taken from them, not given. "Look, I don't want to talk about work. It's been a shitty day, and you're metaphorically kicking me in the balls right now."

"I do have a reputation to uphold," Lois replied though she seemed to respect his bluntness. "You might as well make the most of the opportunity before other reporters swarm over you and…" She looked up, catching sight of a figure striding towards them. "And now of course he's on time. Typical."

She turned and intercepted Clark. "How'd it go Smallville? Perry go for it?"

"Yeah, he did." Clark looked pleased even as he tried to circumvent Lois to get to Lex. "Like we discussed."

Lois smirked. "Good. I better head up and confirm things. Have fun, you two."

Clark just nodded. "See you tomorrow Lois," he said and turned his attention to Lex with a genuine smile. "Lex! This is great. I was going to come over straight after work anyway."

Lex stood up, hesitating for a moment about whether to hug him or... what. "I wasn't sure, so I thought I'd see if you were around. Hi."

Clark had no hesitation about hugging him, for all it was in public. "Hi," he replied still smiling. "How're you doing today?" Green eyes looked him over, Clark's smile fading. "You're not okay are you?"

Lex leaned in, laughing tiredly as he hugged Clark back. There was something refreshing that Clark could read his face so well. Then again, apparently everyone could read everything about him all of the time. "I'm god-awful and I've had too much coffee."

"Ah. Well, in that case there goes the idea of grabbing a coffee. You want to go home?" Clark asked not letting go of him even as he turned to steer them outside.

"Why don't we go to your place? Just, you know. A change of location." He didn't want to possibly have a fight with Clark in *his* apartment. "I... need to talk to you."

"Okay," Clark tried not to sound worried but he was considering how a-typical that was as a suggestion. Lex liked his home territory and they generally went there as a rule. "You want to drive? I can pick up my car tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Lex pulled away a little to push the door open, but not enough to lose Clark's touch. "We could just meet there if you want..."

"I'm sure." Clark said. "I'm not going to worry about that when you want to talk to me. Let's go home... and discuss what's on your mind."

"Okay. Maybe... do you want to drive?" Lex fished the keys out as they approached his favorite car of the two he had, his Audi. "I need to start before I lose my spine. It's been a really long day, Clark."

"I will." He took the keys. "Come on, it's not far."

It wasn't a long ride, but Lex realized that maybe letting Clark drive wasn't the best idea. Sure, he was tense and might've jerked the steering wheel and swerved them into a building or something, but sitting in the passenger seat soaked him in sad memories, made him think about things he was already toying with in his mind. He was quiet, and probably putting a damper on whatever had been good in Clark's day, and he hated that. Hated to bring Clark down, because Clark wasn't ever anything but great to him.

Already he was starting to have second thoughts or was it third thoughts, whatever. By the time they were up to Clark's apartment, Lex was already reconsidering the whole idea.

Maybe he could get away with helping Clark make dinner.

"I like your place," Lex told Clark as he slipped his coat off and moved to hang it on the back of the door that Clark had locked tightly behind them both. They were in a rougher neighborhood than Lex's but the inside showed the extensive rebuilding and decorating that Clark had brought to it to transform the place into a cozy home,

"Well, it was a bit run down when I got here but…" Clark gestured around him. "Didn't take long to do up. Drink?"

"Milk?" Lex walked in a little, and sat down on Clark's sort of funny-looking sofa. The fabric was older, and worn, which suited Lex's mood. He was worn, too. In fact, if he thought about it, he was pretty worn out, both exhausted and well used in the past like an old house with more spackle than drywall. Maybe it was better to tear it down and start over.

Maybe new Lex was better than old Lex, even if neither were what Lex should've been if his life hadn't gone so wrong. "I... had a rough day at work. I think maybe I do still need a prescription for anxiety, but... I don't know. I keep putting off making that appointment. Clark, have I been acting differently?"

Clark fetched the milk, bringing it over and one for himself. "In what way?"

"I don't know. Differently. Am I pushing you away?"

Clark hesitated. "You've been... a bit closed down since the deposition. But that's totally understandable," he added hastily.

Lex took the glass, giving Clark a shaky smile. "I don't want to be closed down with you. I... I had a talk with one of my coworkers that didn't go very well. He said I was pushing people away, and that I could lose you and ... it made me start to think why I have you at all. Why you want to be with me. I mean, you have a great job, and you're Superman and ... I just suck a lot of your time and tire you out. I know I do, and I'm sorry."

Clark blinked. That hadn't what he had been expecting at all. "Hey... hey, Lex. No, you don't do that. First things first, you couldn't ever lose me. Not ever, okay? Not even if you told me you never wanted to see me again, I'd still be yours deep down. If you're pushing anyone away, it's because you're hurt -- I understand that. And I don't want you hurt and I know it's difficult to have me as a boyfriend, rushing off all over the place. But I want the time I spend with you, I want it desperately."

"Why? We don't do anything." Lex laughed a little, shaky as he looked down at his milk. "A couple of days ago you came over and helped me build the castle for the town. And I passed my breakfast off as dinner to you. That... that's not normal as far as I can tell. Normal is apparently talking about what happened, and I don't know where to start or what that's even going to accomplish."

"You're missing one vital thing Lex," Clark said. "I love you. Really love you, okay? It's the sort of love that makes all those things something wonderful. Normal is just a word. We don't have to use it. But I would like to talk to you. I do want to help you. It frustrates me that with all the things I can do, I can't seem to ease your hurt."

Lex took a sip, and then stretched forwards to place it on the coffee table before he sat back. Clark loved him. Clark... loved him, and he could feel that. He knew it and understood that it was true, just... "Maybe that's all that's left anymore. I can't seem to think about anything but the hurt and I used to not think about it at all. Just... it used to be little flashes of memory that I could ignore. Now everyone's a god-damned psychologist telling me what I should do to be better." He sucked in a breath, and rubbed dampness from his eyes. "I want to be better. I... I really want to work things out between us, Clark. I love you and I want to... maybe not be normal but be happy again."

"I'm no psychologist, but maybe you don't need any experts Lex," Clark put down his drink and reached for Lex again. "You're used to doing things for yourself. Maybe the problem is not that you need someone to fix things for you, but that you've needed help in fixing yourself. I want you to be happy and maybe... maybe the thinking about the hurt means it's like an abscess or something finally coming to the surface where it hurts until it drains or something. I don't know. I'll ask you once Lex, and then I won't push it. Do you want to talk about it or not? Just you and me and nothing said to anyone."

"Just you and me, right here." Lex leaned into Clark a little, just for a fraction of contact with the other man. He'd said it. No backing down now. "I... where do you think I should start?" Milk had been a good choice. It'd keep his stomach from reacting too badly with all of that espresso.

"How about why you haven't wanted to talk about it before?" Clark suggested.

"Because... I didn't want you to think of me like that. You know, like a victim. I... I always thought of it like that. That if I didn't talk about it, maybe people wouldn't be able to look at me and just know. I didn't have any control over what was going on, and the... the defense attorney was implying that I did, or that I should have, or that I baited it somehow and liked it. That was what the reaction has always been the couple of times I told people. I know you're a good guy Clark, I... I've just been scared."

Clark let the silence drift a moment between them. "Lex, I can truthfully say I don't think I've ever imagined that you might have baited anyone. And I know that you didn't like it, want it or do anything other than endure and survive it," Clark said in a low voice. "When I first saw you, I didn't for one minute think of all of this. I was feeling something else entirely." He gave a small smile. "You're the strongest person I know. Well, aside from Mom maybe, but... I've told you before that I'm in awe of what you've done. I wasn't flattering you, that was the truth. The more that's revealed the more wonder I experience about how you managed to succeed, to be true to what you want despite everyone else. I mean that."

"But why? Why's it awe inspiring? I... If I didn't have all of these problems, I could've been so much more. I could've been *amazing*. I could've... but I'm not. I just want to be normal and left alone and mundane." He laughed a little, not liking the cracked sound that left his own throat.

"I spent a lot of my life saying the same thing Lex," Clark said. "You're amazing. And yeah, you could have been more. Or you could have been a lot less as well. That's the way these things work. Lex, you weren't handed everything on a plate. You worked at building that normal life. You've given so much back to the world when other people in your place would have rejected it. I think... what I respect most is that you still care for people. You care for them when no one in your life has given you a reason to believe it's worth doing so," Clark reached for his hand. "That's more than amazing, that's a self made miracle. Do you know how many people, such as mutants, I've had to stop from murderous rampages for less reason than you have? Who pour out their hurt and hate on the world with every resource they can get? And then, there's you: who pours out all the care and love you can when by rights you could rail against society for not protecting you, for failing you. That's what I'm talking about Lex."

Clark always had the most amazingly warm fingers. Always. Lex squeezed Clark's hand, and closed his eyes. "It never crossed my mind to not do what I've been doing. Not after your dad saved my life. It made a difference, just... him telling me to do what made me happy. It was simple, and I thought 'Little things can make a hell of a difference'." Little things like a piece of hair yanked out by the roots, or some flakes of skin. Blood. Made all the difference in getting the bad guys, and Lex loved the feeling of success when they got a hit on Codis.

"I think that's the point," Clark replied. "It's ingrained into you, underneath everything, this is the type of person you are. You want to make a difference, and you want to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too. You never know how much of an impact the smallest thing is going to have. Sometimes that's where you succeed more than anything. Like... your writing. I can remember reading your 'Shadowed Hearts' and because of that I didn't just save and leave a jumper like I usually do. I took her up to the top of the Daily Planet and talked to her. A couple of minutes of my time, and a line stolen from something you wrote and I didn't just save her then, but for the rest of her life. Sadly, it wasn't the type of feedback I could have sent you."

The edge of Lex's mouth twisted a little. "That sounds like something your dad would've done. And that's okay. I got a lot of feedback, but... It is things like that that make a difference. If someone wants to die you... you can't just leave them. They'll try again." He squeezed Clark's hand again.

"I know. But sometimes all they need to know is that someone cares and recognizes that they are a unique individual. Like you are, Lex." Clark looked at him again. "I don't look at you and see any of those things you are afraid of. I look at you and I..."

He smiled again and shook his head slightly. "I am captured by your eyes, by you. Just like that. My mind is babbling excitable thoughts at just seeing you, thinking about you. I feel like I'm whole. It's a cliché, but I can't think of anything else to describe it. I love my friends, but that's not the same as what happens when I'm with you. You don't have to be afraid that I will think of you in any other terms than the man I want to be with forever."

"Even after I tell you what I said at the deposition?" There was a little less doubt in Lex's voice. He couldn't quite bring himself to really doubt Clark, not when Clark was looking at him like that when Lex peered sideways and turned his head a little. Clark was sweet and Clark was one of the good guys, one of the best and all his.

"Yes." Clark looked at him. "Tell me, and prove it to yourself. Let me hold you, and show you that it's true."

Lex pulled away a little, grabbing the glass of milk again, then he shifted to lean back against Clark, so he'd not have to look at him when he talked. "All right. It ... started with Dominic, and my dad telling me that the family needed money and that I could help by doing what I was told and being good for Dominic..."

The difference with this recitation of events was that when he opened the emotional wounds, Clark responded to them with the balm and gentleness that he had craved for so many years. Just as he had needed the simple words from Clark's father to turn his life around, the simple words from Clark -- words of sympathy, not of pity -- gave him what he most needed. Clark told him that it wasn't his fault, that he hadn't deserved it, or cooperated, that those who had done this to him had no excuse. That he needed no forgiveness, that he was loved and wonderful and everything that happened to him was terrible.

He just needed someone to tell him that things were terrible, instead of asking him if he'd incited it, or enjoyed it. Even when he described the things that Clark had probably seen the pictures of, he didn't feel any odd shifts in Clark's body. Tension now and then, but it seemed protective. He was pretty sure that if Clark had been around then, Clark would've tried to protect him.

And then he got to describe his wild days, more hesitant now. After all, Lex had turned his back on them, monk-like but those were the more dubious in his memory. He had been the one to incite them, to get strung out on drink or drugs and throw himself at anyone who wanted him. He couldn't say no, and he'd been out of control, he knew that but he couldn't draw a line in his own mind and say yes he was forced or made to do that. He could remember throwing himself at Bruce, and for a moment feeling that dark blaze of his passion, both of them together looking for oblivion rather than anything else. For a time he had imagined he had found love. It was as close to love as he had ever experienced, with a familiar twisted flavor.

And he wasn't sure what to think of that, other than that they'd both been bad for each other and never so much as muttered about their real problems. There Clark was, goading him to talk, while he and Bruce had cut through the emotional crap and gotten each other off, high or drunk or not. Lex was usually the one abusing shit, not Bruce. Bruce was all 'my body is a temple', but it never stopped what happened.

They would have sex, and though he knew in a strange way that Bruce cared, his caring seemed completely disassociated from the physical act. It was hard to say who had demanded more of whom, but whatever their excesses Lex always had a clear memory of lying next to him, feeling empty and lost. There was no connection, no lingering warmth even though he was sure that sex was the only way to get love. His father's love had been conditional on his obedience and performance and he was sure for a while that the fault was with him, just as it always had been.

He wasn't sure how to articulate that to Clark, but he tried. That he thought for a long time that it was his fault that sex didn't help, that he was the problem because obviously Bruce had seemed fine with it. That it just made *him* hurt worse and... Didn't work.

He felt worse after it, and he was afraid that would be the case again. So eventually he had retreated to celibacy after his rescue in Smallville. He had tried it once more after that, and lay there asking the question that Jonathan Kent had posed to him. "Why are you doing something that doesn't make you happy?"

And the answer was, he didn't know. So he stopped.

So maybe he was a little scared, too, that it would end up just as hollow with Clark. Even if being with Clark, just sitting with him, was a hundred times better than anyone else. And he said it, said it all, and voiced all those thoughts that he'd mulled over in his head, quietly, for years.

The thing that really startled him was when Clark told him much as he enjoyed what they did together, they didn't have to do anything more … ever, because he was in love with him and that wasn't going to change.

It left Lex a little stunned, a little... surprised, maybe happy, and he turned his head a little to look at Clark's face for the first time in a couple of hours. It was a twist, since Clark was behind him, holding him. Easing him. "Are you... sure? I want to, some day, but..."

"I'm very sure," Clark replied smiling. "I may have joked about it in the past, but I mean it. I love you and the prospect of sex is a small part of that, not the whole thing. I want to spend time with you. I want to do the normal things we do. I want to share my life with you, and have you share yours with me. There is no rule saying that being together is conditional on having sex."

He was pretty glad that he'd already finished his milk because the jostling he was doing to turn around would've slopped it over the edge. "That's why you're perfect. I still want to, I just... need to work up to it. And ... you'll help." It wasn't a question so much as a surety. Clark would help.

"Always," Clark replied. "Don't force yourself. I meant what I said about when you were ready on your terms."

"I understand that." Lex leaned his forehead against Clark's, grinning a little lopsidedly. "You probably didn't want to know this, but I masturbated for the first time in years without feeling disgusted, when we were in the safe house. I was thinking about you."

"There should be a Hallmark card for something like that..." Clark mused and grinned. "'Thanks for inspiring me to orgasm…' I could do a Superman -- ' 'Just doing my job sir.'"

Lex laughed, sliding his free arm around Clark tightly. "That's why I love you. So can we just go back to being... us now? It's exhausting to go to pieces this often."

"Yeah, we can do that." Clark twitched his lips. "Do you want my news now?"

Which Lex had put a damper on. "Yes. Share your news with me now." It took a bit of a concentrated effort to not apologize for having rained on that.

"You are looking at the Night Deputy Co-Editor of the Daily Planet," Clark replied. "Which is a glorified title for what I do, with more responsibility and ... coincidentally altered shifts."

"Clark, that's fantastic!" The glass dropped from his hand, but it also bounced harmlessly on Clark's carpet, when Lex hugged him tight. "That's, that's great. How'd that happen?"

"I requested to be moved on to nights or I basically said I would go somewhere where I could work the same shifts as you," Clark replied hugging him back and smiling. "It's been in the works since we came back at New Year, but Perry took persuading. I think it was the fact that with me on the nights covering the CSI, we scooped more stories than any other paper. I caught sight of the raise in print figures during that time. Lois is also a Night Deputy Co-Editor. We both work four days there, long hours and we have to write a set amount of columns and articles for the new glossies that the Planet's launching for the weekends. But we're allowed to write those from home, or during slow points in the night shifts. Perry's actually going to get double the work out of us, but... I have no problem with that. It works out to days off on your days off. I can have all my articles written in a few minutes. "

"I'll get you new keyboards for when you blow through the old ones," Lex grinned. "That's... that's really great, Clark. I didn't expect you to do anything like that for me..."

"Hey, I'm doing it for me too, you know," Clark smiled back. "I know it's been hard on you with me rushing off all over the place, catching a few hours here and there. It's been hard on me as well, knowing I wanted to be with you. And I actually think that this will benefit the paper. Lois pointed out that most stories break over night. The press runs around 2 o'clock. That's a long time from the close of the normal working day. And, as I pointed out, major international events could be picked up as well."

"Sly of you," Lex grinned. He pulled back a little, expression softening. "You're going to have to get used to sleeping in the day, but I can help you with that. C'mon. Why don't we go somewhere for dinner. Breakfast." It felt like a new day, a new chance for them both. Why not break one of his personal taboos, too?

"Dinner. What are you in the mood for?" Clark asked.

"Some place... nice. My treat." Lex sat back a little, only half-mindful that he was in Clark's lap.

"Your treat huh?" Clark smiled. "How about The Garden of Paradise, that's meant to be good if you can wade through all the hyperbole they sprinkle over their menu's."

"That sounds great." Peaceful, too. Maybe it'd be a quiet sort of place and they could get a booth off to the side and just relax. Lex shifted off of Clark, and offered him a hand up. "Here's to hoping it's not too busy. It's, what, Wednesday? No reason for a place to be too busy on a Wednesday."

"I'll call," Clark replied. "See if they have a table free."

"You do that, and I... I'm going to duck into your bathroom for a second." Lex leaned in to kiss Clark briefly, not firm enough to get himself tangled up.

Clark nodded, pleased at how the evening had worked out. It wasn't a great chore to make the call, though he probably could have gone there and back in the same time. Still, it resulted in a reservation in 30 minutes time, which was pushing it a little. He could always fly them there if necessary, but it would be better not to.

"Don't be too long Lex, we have a table in 30 minutes or so."

"I'll be out in a second." He wasn't sure *what* Clark thought he was doing in there. Using Clark 's facecloth to wash his face was all. He'd struggled not to cry and it left him red-eyed, feeling like he needed his face washed.

Lex took half a second to smile at himself in the mirror, and felt pleased that it seemed and felt pretty damn real. He'd told Clark everything, and ... Clark had been good.

He needed to get Kieran a thank you gift on his way in to work, if he had time. Or at least make an effort to say thank you. He'd been so scared of doing it, so agitated, but there hadn't been any lasting ache. He was tired, sure, but Clark was getting night shift so they'd be together Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and part of Sunday. And that was just great.

More than he dreamed possible, at least. In fact he'd never even allowed himself to dream it.

Clark had changed into something more suitable in the split second it took him to come out of the bathroom and was dangling the keys to the Audi in his hand. "Feeling up to driving?"

"I am now." Lex grinned back at Clark as he took the keys, feeling silly. But that was okay. "Just promise to tell me where to go."

"I'll do my best. Remember I navigate from the air," Clark said as he handed Lex his coat, and picked up his own. "Somehow I don't think we're going to be late are we?"

"Ah, you remember the last time I drove." He slipped his coat on, half-deciding that the mere act of it was going to capture all of the warmth Clark had flooded the room with. "In snow, no less. We'll see if maybe you can get *close* to navigating from the air again."

Clark smiled and gestured him out of the apartment. He liked the fact that Lex was somehow lighter now, as if all those memories had been a heavy burden. Dinner should be very interesting indeed.

*****

Dinner, when they finally got there having only made two wrong turns due to Clark's directions being thwarted by one way streets, was excellent. The food was as good as advertised and Lex with his new unburdened outlook was showing a glimmer of the sharp wit and humor that lay concealed beneath the surface.

Clark had seen a little that first night in the department, and it had surfaced irregularly thereafter, treading water badly in a sea of trauma and stress. It was like he'd pulled Lex up into a rescue ship -- still on the sea, sure, but protected and helped.

Lex had very tidy table manners, even as he sawed unto his filet mignon. It was just like Lex had asked for -- hot, but pink inside. The waitress has questioned his response of 'rare', and Lex had grinned and assured her that he liked it almost mooing. "You should try these vegetables, Clark. The squash slices are excellent..."

"It would be rude to steal them from your plate," Clark said eating his own brandy cream and pepper steak and then smiled as he mock attempted to sneak a piece from Lex.

Lex looked away, but vaguely waved a fork at the back of Clark's hand like he were going to stab him. "You're not stealing, I'm offering."

"Then I'll try it. You're missing out on the brandy sauce there. It's good." Clark said 'borrowing' a slice. "I'll tell Mom about it, and I bet she'll have it perfected for our next visit."

"Your mom could open a restaurant," Lex pointed out once he'd chewed the slice of meat he'd cut for himself. "I'd go there." He was sort of amazed with himself that he was *there*, where they were, sitting across from Clark in a four-seat booth that held just the two of them and their coats off to the side. No panic attacks.

"I've told her that. She does sell some of her cooking to local businesses," Clark supplied, smiling as he looked up. Then smile slipped from his face visibility. "I don't believe it, "he muttered.

"Don't believe what?" Lex asked, going a little still as he set his fork down, and then twisted around to follow Clark's line of vision.

"Lucas. He's here." It had to be a coincidence considering they had had no actual plans to go there until thirty minutes ago.

It was a whim. Lex caught sight of his brother, coming towards them, and turned around smoothly as he could. "I'll get him to leave us alone. If this is the worst that the rest of today can throw at us, it needs to try harder."

"You sure?" Clark hesitated. "I'll be there if he gets nasty. I'm not having him try his tricks again."

"You'll be right where you are, sitting across from me," Lex grinned at he picked up his water glass. "I'm not going to bother getting up."

"Well, well... Lex, I can't recall the last time you graced the Metropolis gastronomic scene with your presence," Lucas looked at them both with bright eyes as his date for the evening -- unsurprisingly Victoria Hardwick -- continued on to their table.

Lex had guessed that they were in bed together, but... He hadn't quite thought that they were in *bed* together. At least the check hadn't bounced, and it had gone on to do a lot of good. "Neither can I -- but Clark and I are celebrating his promotion tonight."

"A promotion. Well congratulations Clark, " Lucas said flashing a smile. "I must admit, it surprises me to see you both here together."

Lex glanced to Clark then looked back to Lucas with a quirk of his eyebrow. "Why's that?"

"Well, neither your nor Kent's track record with relationships has been particularly good. Clark is possibly the most unreliable person on the face of the earth." Lucas said, still smiling.

Lex made a point to reach a hand across the table to grab Clark's hand, and never mind that he'd been holding a fork that probably had tiny finger-shaped dents in it. "Clark? You must be confused, Lucas. Clark's the most dependable, reliable guy I know."

"I believe your brother is referring to my past record, Lex, and for some reason seems to be going out of his way to try and drive us apart." The dim lighting in the restaurant very nearly concealed the blaze of blue in his eyes. "Why is that Lucas?"

Lucas lost his mocking smile. "You *know* why Kent."

"Well, I don't know why. And I only have an hour before I have to head out to work, so can you make this quick, Lucas?"

"Kent's using you, Lex," Lucas hissed in a low voice. "You are my brother, and he's just... someone else out after the Luthor name. You have no idea how much their family despises Luthor's. He's using you to get back at me because he knows he can get at me directly!"

Clark looked amused. "You could have spent some time over the past nine years or so getting over yourself Lucas."

Lex didn't waver as he squeezed Clark's hand, eyes trained on his brother. No, Lucas didn't know who Clark was, or how great his family was, or how great Clark had to be to sit and listen and love Lex in spite of everything that had happened. "Lucas. Just because our father is behind bars is no reason for you to take up the one-man fight against sanity that he used to wage. Enjoy your new lease on life, huh? Clark's not out to *get* anyone."

"He lies, Lex. He lies all the time. He used to stand there in front of me and lie to my face," Lucas glared at Clark who did look a little uncomfortable at that accusation. "You have no idea what sort of stuff he was mixed up in. I allowed myself to be taken in by his 'too good to be true' exterior and all I got for it was moralizing and lies. I'm not seeing that happen to you."

"Clark has been *very* honest with me, Lucas. And while you're spitting vague hints around, I've had long talks with him. We're working around each other's problems, and we're both happy. Why does this bother you so much?" Lex asked, still not letting go of Clark's hand.

"Because it doesn't seem to bother you," Lucas replied. "Because..."

"Because without your brother you're alone aren't you, Luke?" Clark said quietly.

He might as well have slapped Lucas for the shocked reaction he got. Lucas went pale and stepped away from them, looking at Lex with all his defensive layers stripped away before he turned and walked away. Lex watched, following Lucas' back with his eyes until they were too far away in the room to look at anymore. "Clark, how do you know things like that?"

"Because I remember," Clark replied looking troubled. "Because I remember everything and things I didn't understand then, I understand now. I remember how he was desperately looking for someone to be with him, but everything he knew made him doubt them. He's right, though, I did lie to him. I was young and..." He shook his head. "He would have had dreams of family Lex. Everyone who has been adopted has that, even those as lucky as I have been."

Lex nodded to Clark's common-sense type words, taking them in. "I'll call him about it later. I'm not going to let that sit and rot, either, and I'm not going to have him randomly challenging your presence in my life every time that I see him. So." Lex squeezed Clark's hand again then drew his fingers back. "You probably need that for your fork."

"The problem is he doesn't realize he has reason to trust me. The one sided story of my life in Smallville is suspicious. He doesn't even know most of the times that I saved his life," Clark said. "It twisted him against me until he thought everything I did was some sort of conspiracy. But this... he's jealous. He wants you as a brother."

"No-one said he couldn't have me as a brother." Lex picked up his knife again, and his fork, to cut another small piece.

"No, but maybe he thinks that," Clark began eating again. "Perhaps, in the end he thought he really was alone and that's why he left me in the car after they got to safety. I...don't know." That still bothered him. It always bothered him when someone seemed to hate him.

"Some days I wish I could read minds," Lex sighed wistfully. "That'd make this a lot easier."

"I knew someone in Smallville who could," Clark replied and shook his head. "It was hard for him. I wouldn't wish that on you. He loved Warrior Angel too."

"The best people do." Lex gave Clark a hopeful smile. "It was... Ryan, right? Chloe told me about him, back when she interned with us."

"Yeah," Clark nodded. "I was the only one he couldn't hear. I wish I could've saved him."

"I'm sure you made a difference for him." Lex trailed off thoughtfully, and ate another piece.

"I tried." Clark looked at him. "I don't want to come between you and Lucas. I hoped that there was at least some reason like this behind what he was doing for all he put you through, not just vindictiveness. Looks like he isn't as independent as he makes out."

"You're not going to come between us, Clark. You mean... a lot to me, and I'm not going to let you pry yourself away from me, anymore than you'd let me do the same. I'll talk to him, and he'll get over it in time." Lex peeked at Clark's plate, then speared himself a little piece of meat with the brandy sauce on it.

Clark smiled, some of the tension and melancholy leaving him. "You hungry Lex? There's dessert yet."

"This is breakfast for me, so sure, why not." He grinned at Clark, and stretched one leg forward to rest against Clark's leg beneath the table.

Clark laughed a little. "God, I love you Lex." When he was smiling, he took his breath away. And for Clark who could go into space, and the deepest ocean and the earth itself that was a pretty big deal.

It made Lex feel really good to watch Clark's facial expressions. He stuck a last piece of filet with his fork, and offered it to Clark. "I love you, too. And here, try this -- it's stopped mooing."

Clark took it and smiled again. "We are a living, breathing, eating cliché here. We'll be putting everyone off their dinner."

Lex's mouth twisted up to a crooked smirk as he shifted his leg against Clark's. "It takes a lot of effort to be self-conscious, Clark. It's draining. I don't care who gets put off their dinner. Hell, let's get a big dessert and split it while we're at it."

"You're on," Clark replied acknowledging the flirting with some of his own. "We deserve it. You choose and I'll eat it."

"I bet you will." Lex lifted a dessert menu from the stand on the table that was abutting the wall, and flipped it open as he offered the rest of the plate to Clark. After all, he *knew* that Clark could eat a hell of a lot more than he could.

Who knew that eating out in public could be so much fun, visits from family relatives notwithstanding?  
Lex was starting to feel that scandalizing the restaurant goers of Metropolis was going to be a good way to work on his rehabilitation to a normal life. He was certainly going to enjoy it.

*****

 

Big trials dragged on forever it seemed, lumbering like a B-Movie monster wrecking havoc and destruction on the lives they touched. The trials of the Moguls of Child Porn had absorbed the nation, not just Metropolis. The frenzy seemed absurd, but not abated by the length of time it took to call and examine all witnesses, to grease and move the ponderous wheels of justice.

Lex had been called to give testimony and that had to go down as one of the darkest experiences of his life. The oppressive choking horror of it had nearly driven him to a breakdown, there and then in the witness stand in front of everyone. No one had been surprised that he had taken sick leave around that time.

He couldn't handle being humiliated on the stand for three days in a row and then turning around and checking in for work on those same days. And it wasn't as if he'd been lying when he took sick leave. He'd been sick, heartsick, stomach sick, head sick. And Clark... Clark had been his rock during that deep dip into depression three weeks prior.

Clark had had to work nights, but he also left post-it notes on the walls for Lex to look at, messages on the answering machine, and little... things. Lex had tended to come home and sleep right after the testimony was over, and when he'd wake up, Clark had gone in to work. But Clark had also moved Lex from bed to the sofa, and made him a grilled cheese sandwich and left a DVD in the machine for him to watch. Things like that were earthshaking in their sentimentality, but that was Clark. He was sweet, thoughtful and careful of Lex, careful for him.

And when he came into work, he found the same thing. A rose left on his desk even though no one had seen whoever delivered it. Notes. Phone calls. Gentle touches of contact to draw him out as the media circus reigned in its frenzy.

The Daily Planet didn't succumb to the wild accusations and the careful relationships Clark had laid down before this came to light were reaping dividends.

It also wasn't coincidence that Clark had his pivotal article published the day before, sensing that the end was near. It was, as he had said, his best work. He had asked Lex to read it and it would have taken a hard heart to have remained unmoved as finally he revealed the identity of the girl whose body had started all this. He and Lois had worked their investigative magic.

Sometimes Lex wished that innocent people were in CODIS, too. It would've made life a lot easier for everyone. But Lois and Clark had worked backwards, looking for missing child reports, and two plus two equaled one kidnapped little girl from Iowa. Lex knew that getting the identification had to have been hard on them, hard on Kieran when he changed 'Jane Doe' to 'Jenny Brown'.

Clark's article had given Jenny Brown one last brief moment of life. It was a piece of writing that he had heard the whole city discussing and Perry White had taken great delight in marking down for a sure thing as an award, or maybe even a Pulitzer. Clark hadn't written it for acclaim, Lex knew that. He'd written it to change things, that Superman couldn't. So that everyone would see all parts of the story. The police department would see the human side of their work, and the public sees the emotional cost of what they faced every day. Jenny Brown would have a subtle and moving legacy at least.

It was hard to wait, knowing and not knowing the end was approaching.

Particularly when he had to pull a double shift. Still, about the time that Clark got off work, there had been a rather faint hallucination of a kiss on his cheek, and a cup of coffee had magically appeared on the desk on the other side of the room. Lex had gotten to it when he took his break half an hour later, semi-aware that the jury was reconvening at the same time for more deliberation. Then he literally put it out of his mind, and went back to testing samples.

The only boring part of working a double shift when he was that badly slammed was the part where he waited for the machine to run what he'd fed it. So Lex didn't feel guilty about sitting there for a few minutes, leafing through a real-estate book.

They were going to move in together. Sometime. They spent all their time together, it seemed ridiculous to maintain two apartments when, as Clark had suggested, they could have one bigger and better one between them both. Or even a house.

There was a knock on his door and it pushed open, revealing Winters standing there.

Lex dog-eared the page he'd been looking at, and closed the book smoothly while he looked up with a grin. "I'm just waiting for the last two gang shootout victims to print out."

"Good." Winters cleared his throat. "Verdicts in."

Lex's head jerked up, and he caught sight of the clock on the far wall. Noon. Like some bad spaghetti western. "And?"

"Guilty on all charges. All of them." It was a difficult moment. For all that Lex worked towards this verdict, Lionel Luthor was still his father and he was still very emotionally connected to this case.

But it was less difficult than Lex had thought it would be. He looked at Winters like he hadn't said what he'd said, and then nodded as it sank in. "Thank god."

"You're okay?" Winters leaned up against the desk. "The others have heard. It's been on CNN, the news... everywhere. I wanted to see how you were first before I let them loose on you."

Lex looked down to the book that was resting against his knee, and nodded as he held it up to Winters. "I'm okay. Clark and I have been looking for a place together, and ... now I'm pretty sure it's not going to get blown up if we do." He laughed, a shaky hysterical-edged laugh, but it was a real laugh. It didn't seem real that his father was going to prison for who knew how long. There were enough counts to lock him away until he was dead even if they gave him the minimum on all of them.

"He won't be getting out of there, Lex. Ever. And I'm pleased to hear about you and Clark," Winters said. "Look, I want you to leave early on this shift when you've got the results back. Go home. Let it sink in a little."

The printer started to buzz out a sheet of paper, and Lex just grinned at it. He wanted to hug it. And he wanted to hug Winters, and his desk, too. "That's great news, Fred. I... thanks. Thanks for sticking by me through all the shit this department got put through. You're a real good friend."

Winters looked startled at that and then smiled. "We stick together Lex. And it works. The profile of the CSI department has never been so high and favorable. The budget for pay raises is ... impressive."

Lex grinned, and got to his feet to grab that last sheet. "We should enjoy that while it lasts -- hey, I got a hit on these last two. They've got priors in Kansas City."

"I'll let the day team run with that. You go home Lex. I believe you will have someone there waiting for you. We can have our own celebration on our next shift," Winters said taking the printouts. "I'm glad there were no last minute problems. Not that I could see how there could be but...."

"So you kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, too?" Lex picked up his book, and pulled his gloves off, moving to take his lab coat off. "It's not going to, Fred."

"Not now, no," Winters agreed. "For which I am heartily grateful. It might just have ruined my faith in the system if it had. I'll see you next shift." He nodded and gave a rare smile even as he departed up the corridor back to his office.

Lex took a minute to gather his things, and then headed out for the parking lot while he slipped his sunglasses on. It was going to be a great day, just because there was one more burden lifted from his shoulders. His father was going to be in jail, Lucas would officially get to run LuthorCorp, and Lex... Lex was free to live without fear.

It was pretty obvious that Clark was going to be ecstatic and once he got home, Lex had to admit with a smile to himself, that all thoughts of anything else would vanish. If Lucas' previous behavior had been anything to go on, the odds were that he'd turn up and he didn't want his mood spoiled by the now familiar sniping between his brother and Clark.

As he was earlier than Clark would expect, now would be a good time to pre-empt Lucas and maybe try and ease over some of the awkwardness. By the time he pulled out of the parking lot, his destination was Luthor Towers and LuthorCorp. He'd try the office building first, then the Penthouse -- if just because he wanted to avoid the penthouse at all costs. So he'd head there last.

Not that Lex had any idea what he was going to say to his brother. Maybe ask for a peace agreement or something. The now-familiar routine was also getting old -- Lucas showed up un-announced, and harped on Clark. And Clark, well, Clark harped back and Lex couldn't really blame him.

Clark was patient and tolerant but when there was personal history between them, it made Clark prickly. After about the fifth time of Lucas trying to drop Clark in it, Clark was now methodically going through everything that had ever happened in his youth and giving full disclosure, in his own version of a Thousand and One Smallvillean Nights.

Lucas should be at the offices, and from the reaction of the LuthorCorp security he was around somewhere. Whether it was the mention of his name that made them scuttle, or that Lucas had left orders that he should be admitted at any time there was no apparent delay in being shown to his office. He had to wait the briefest moment before a personal assistant showed him to the luxurious CEO's office.

"Lex, come in." Lucas was impeccably dressed, a sharp figure of a successful businessman - a sharp contrast to the man who had dropped in believing his days were numbered. "I could hardly believe it when they said it was you."

"I wanted to congratulate you on our win." Lex took his sunglasses off, smiling at his brother as he heard the door swing shut behind him. The office looked different but better than it had the last time Lex had been in there. It was less ostentatious and more like actual work might occur there.

"Take a seat." Lucas gestured to one of the custom made Italian designer chairs that graced the spacious office. Then he grinned in a way that made him look years younger. "Not that I wasn't expecting it, but… There's many a slip..."

"Twixt the cup and the lip?" Lex's mouth twisted as he took a seat in the gestured to chair, amused at how some of the pretensions of Luthor speak seemed to get imprinted by long association with his father. "Lucas, the case against him was airtight, and he made things worse for himself after all of the public property damage, endangerment of the public, and conspiracy to commit murder charges were added."

"I've seen him slip out of it before. Your work colleague Chloe and Clark had a nasty run in with him over it. I wasn't secure enough in my position to stick my neck out on their behalf," Lucas replied. "The evidence proving he and Morgan Edge were responsible for the deaths of his parents vanished itself. Kent and Sullivan vanished for a while. So airtight, evidence or not I wasn't celebrating until the verdict was in."

"I have a lot of faith in the justice system. Even if I was at Princeton that first time he went to trial. But... It's over, Lucas. The end, no more games with daddy dearest."

"Just with all the other business men who are going to start scraping among themselves. There's a lot of new blood out there. The next year or so is going to be very interesting."

Lucas seemed much more the image of a Luthor businessman here in this office. Confident, assured and sharp. "Actually, I was going to come round later. I have something for you to sign now it is all official. It's been waiting, pending this decision." He got up and went to a safe of sorts, with a digital security lock.

"The Charity Funds."

"Because now that father's been found guilty, the whole company is shuffled into trust to... you." Lex smiled, watching Lucas move to get those papers. "I appreciate that you're letting me do this, Lucas."

"You'll do a better job than I would and your credibility will be very high now," Lucas picked them up, shuffled through them and passed them over. "The money is paid into a separate account with you as the principle signatory. After that, it's over to you. If you want to support different charities, I leave that to you. There is a baseline donation per year, and then a separate monthly credit that will be linked to company profit and the tax breaks. The more successful LuthorCorp becomes, the more you get essentially. You also get a stipend for being the Charities Administrator at the insistence of the LuthorCorp Board." Lucas grinned. "I, of course, was all willing to get you to do it for nothing, but hey."

Lex lifted an eyebrow a little as he leafed through them. Leave it to LuthorCorp to complicate a matter. He could already tell some things would have to be done differently, but he could take care of that. "You know I'm going to use that stipend for the staff..."

"Well, yeah. But like I said it's totally over to you," Lucas said, still grinning and looking at Lex in a way that Clark had once described as wistfully possessive. "You going to celebrate at all?"

"I was thinking of taking Clark to dinner, but... maybe I'll just stay home and look at real-estate books with him." Lex tossed that out, knowing it would work as bait. "That's the best kind of celebration I can think of right now. Moving on to something better."

Lucas frowned a little. "You're moving *in* with him? With Kent?"

"Yes." He couldn't help but say it firmly, say it with a grin on his mouth. "So since I am, I thought I should talk to you about why it bothers you. Brother to brother."

"I knew Kent longer than you have. He's a liar. You can't trust him. He hates me and he's using you to get back at me for our... misunderstandings." Lucas looked at him. "I've told you this."

"Repeatedly," Lex agreed as he tapped the sheaf of papers on one knee. "Lucas, has it ever crossed your mind that Clark has changed from when you knew him?"

"He became a reporter. This constitutes a change for the worse, not better," Lucas said looking at his older brother.

"Lucas... who are you jealous of?" It was easy for Lex to stay relaxed as he looked back at Lucas.

"I'm not jealous." Even if he sounded like a petulant child when he said it. "I'm just trying to look out for your best interests."

Which coming from Lucas, the living example of the Luthor approach to Practical Darwinism, was the equivalent of heresy.

"Lucas, whenever we start this conversation, you sound jealous. Now, I know that at Christmas, the party, you tried to set up a little scene with Victoria's help to split Clark and I up. Was that because you *want* Clark for yourself, or... you want me to not pull away from the family any further?"

It was not the Luthor way to look embarrassed, but there was a faint flush to Lucas' face as he looked up. "I don't want Clark," he said finally. "I tried a few times, but maybe it was only because he was pretty much the only one who said no. And treated me like I was normal. But I don't want him now, that's all past."

"Okay. So, Lucas... I want you to understand that I'm not going to leave you high and dry just because I have a partner."

"I don't need anyone, Lex." It was a bluff, which could be read in the uneasy way that he settled in his chair. At times like this the six years age difference between them was obvious.

Leaning forwards in the chair, Lex couldn't help but keep smiling. Lucas was a lot like him, even if they did have different mothers. Maybe it was a factor of having been 'raised' by Lionel Luthor that made them both like that, as twisted up inside and independent as they were. "You do, Lucas. I hate to say it, but it's easier to live when you just... admit that you need people."

Lucas shook his head. "I can't do that. If I trust anyone it screws up." He frowned and looked directly at him. "I was a street kid Lex. Not completely abandoned, no, but I was in with gangs and there was no right or wrong there. And then our father picked me out of there and it was just the same. No right or wrong, just power except with better suits and more money. Then I got sent to fucking Smallville for my 'training' and there's Kent and somehow...everything I am, is wrong. And this is ALL I am. I survived. But sometimes he'd look at me as if maybe I shouldn't. Isn't that what you are afraid of?"

Lex left the papers in the chair as he got to his feet, moving towards the desk and his brother, but not sure *what* he was going to do. "Isn't what that I'm afraid of? Surviving?"

"No, that someone will look at you and judge you. That's what Kent does." Lucas said with a flash of emotion. "That's why... that's why all of this."

"He doesn't judge, Lucas. That's half the reason why I'm *with* him -- he really doesn't judge people. Maybe he used to, but he was also just a kid when you knew him. And both of us know pretty well that kids..." Lex leaned a hand on Lucas's desk. "Kids fuck up."

Lucas gave a sharp brittle laugh. "Master of the understatement. So Kent doesn't judge? You sure he's the same Kent as the one I knew?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. He *doesn't* judge people, Lucas. We both know there's a lot about me to be judged, if someone wanted to." And they had, at the trial. "He never has."

"You want me to back off." Lucas stated as much as asked.

"What I want... is for you to not pick a fight with him every time we see you, Lucas. You're my brother, and I want to see you, I want to spend time with you. It's hard to do that when you treat my lover like he's carrying the Black Death."

Lucas gave a pause. "Okay, I'll cease hostilities… On the condition that if he does pull this shit on you I can set my new bodyguards Hope and Mercy on him and let them kick his ass."

Lex always found himself noting smugly, internally, that that wouldn't happen. Clark wouldn't hurt him, leave him, and ... he was *Superman*. "You can try," Lex grinned faintly. "Hope and Mercy, hm? They sound hot."

"And deadly. And unfortunately not receptive to my charisma, only to each other," Lucas replied seeming to accept the terms of the truce. "But yeah, they look a damn sight nicer than the Navy SEAL's I was originally going to go for, and they wiped the floor with them."

He cleared his throat again. "Look, I'm sorry about the thing at the party."

It was only months and months after the fact, but... "Apology accepted." Lex held his hand out to his brother. "Clark wasn't angry at me, and I calmed down pretty fast."

Lucas reached out and shook the proffered hand and smiled. "Good. Look you want to catch dinner or something? Celebrate properly?"

"I'd love to." Lex hesitated, and then added, "Even if you're not extending the invitation to Clark."

"Just once. Just today," Lucas said. "Or we can do it this weekend and yes, I'll include Clark in the invitation."

Lex hesitated, and then said, "How about we play catch-up, Lucas? I'll see you tonight before I go on shift for dinner. Call my cell when you've figured out where you want to meet. I'll bring the papers back then, too, signed."

"I'd say it's a date but that really would be a headline I don't want to see," Lucas nodded. "Okay, tonight it is."

Lex paused by the chair long enough to gather all of the papers into their subtle black folder, and then gave Lucas a grin as he slid his sunglasses on. "Enjoy your day."

"And you Lex. We'll talk more later." Lucas looked very pleased he had selected to go with him alone and that had done more to secure their 'truce' than anything else.

To Lex, it just affirmed that he wasn't cut out for that sort of world. God. Having to think like that *every* day? He'd rather extract DNA from a dog's stomach contents again.

As he left the LuthorCorp office, Lex was deeply aware of the irony that Lucas had ever believed that he might return to the fold to oust his position as the Luthor heir. He really couldn't see that he would have ever made a good businessman. His heart just wasn't in it.

*****

Their neighbors probably thought that they were perfectly insane.

It had been harder than either of them had thought to get a house in Metropolis. Most of the real estate they saw were these big, well monitored, high security apartments, and... Lex just wasn't that comfortable with the idea of how much of a chance it leant for Clark being spotted if he came back from being Superman. It was almost too high profile, so they'd struggled to look for a place with more space, a back yard, and the works, a little bit of Metropolis and a little bit of Smallville.

The house they found in the end had been a 'fixer-upper' -- which was real estate code for 'just on the right side to prevent it from being declared derelict and due for demolition'. But the situation was ideal. It had trees, a large back yard that Clark swore would be fantastic when he got it under control. For all the mustiness when they had set foot in there the first time, there was a warmth and the sun flowed in through a wonderful old bay window slowed to a mellow comfortable light and trapped there. Clark was seriously in love with that window and had just stood there drinking in the sun until Lex had forcibly dragged them away.

It had everything they needed and wanted, except it needed a lot of work and probably would cost as much again to fix if they hired anyone to do it. Clark had balked at that and said he would do it. Personally. That they would do it together and with his talents, it would be done quickly.

That hadn't stopped Lex from insisting that he be allowed to help. After all, they couldn't always work at Clark-speed, since they *did* have faintly curious neighbors who had seemed pretty amused at the sight of the two of them up on the roof all of the previous weekend, laying down new plywood, felt and shingles. Lex's shoulders hurt by the end of that fiasco, but it was a good hurt. The sort of hurt that got him massages in bed, and a lot of playful comforting from Clark, stretched out on a rug in front of that window.  
Lex had half-wanted to put a table or something there, but he figured out that just making it comfortable was the best idea, since Clark seemed to enjoy basking in the sun after long hours on night shifts.

Lex seemed to have the better eye for color. If Clark had his way, the house might have ended up with large swathes of 'jewel colors' -- Lex knew he meant bold, vibrant primary colors, but Clark insisted that 'jewel colors' were fashionable and yes, incidentally there were some primary colors involved. They compromised on that. Some of the accessories would be in the sapphire blue, ruby red, amethyst purple and emerald green that Clark seemed to like as a contrast to the softer look of the house.

They discovered a wonderful wooden flooring upstairs and Clark stripped it down and polished it up in around 10 minutes, before sitting on his handiwork, beaming at it for nearly an hour. He liked the natural look of woods and a rustic homey feel. Lex was pretty fond of that floor himself -- even he had to admit it was nicer than the purple carpet in his apartment had been.

Now they had another whole weekend in front of them, and Lex wondered, as he pulled into their driveway, what decorating tasks Clark had lined up for him.

"The carpets were delivered yesterday," Clark said even as they got out. "I won't take me long to lay them. How are you at hanging doors?"

"I know not to use string?" Lex pulled his keys out of his pocket, and closed the car door smoothly. "How are you going to lay the carpets down with the furniture already down?"

"Speed." Clark grinned. "I'll take it out. Lay it, put it back in the blink of an eye. We're pretty much done aside from the yard. Might have to do that nearly normal way so..."

"We could invite Lara here for a weekend that she's not busy and utilize Child Labor for the flowerbeds." Lex grinned at Clark as he started to open the front door.

"Get Dad and Mom here, too, and the whole thing will be done in one weekend," Clark was smiling as he stepped inside. "It looks pretty different doesn't it?"

Lex lingered in the front hallway, nodding as he dropped his house keys in the bowl on the buffet table just inside. "It looks like home..." Even with the jewel tones pillows that Clark had put on the sofa Lex had brought from his apartment. Half of the fun had been deciding what furniture to keep and what to toss or repair.

There was a mixture from each apartment and some new. Clark was like an enthusiastic puppy as he poked in each room as if it might have suddenly run away in their absence. "Put the coffee machine on and I'll have the place carpeted by the time the coffee is ready?" he suggested with a grin.

"Drip or espresso?" They'd kept both coffee machines, though, because Lex had pointed out that both kinds had their pros and cons. He slipped into the kitchen, waiting for Clark to give him an answer.

"Espresso, "Clark said. "Back in a moment."

There was almost immediately a sudden spate of strange noises upstairs. Rather loud and compressed and moving around from one end of the house to the other.

Lex grinned to himself as he pulled the freezer door open on the fridge, and pulled out a bag of already ground up coffee. Yeah, by the time he'd made two milk-frothed cups of espresso for him and Clark, Clark would *definitely* have finished laying the carpet.

Which meant that they were pretty much settled into the new house. There were still books to unpack, and Lex's 'workroom' hadn't taken on that tidy sprawl he was familiar with, but... He and Clark had a home together. Domestic bliss was good.

"Gimme some of that froth," Clark said as he reappeared, brushing back his hair and leaving a hammer on the side. "Thirsty work. Oh, I did the doors too. We're pretty much set. Remind me if I ever go into building not to charge by the hour."

"Superman's building company -- your new home is an eye blink away?" Lex tipped his head, grinning at Clark as he poured espresso and then froth into each cup. "We had some of the coconut left, so I mixed it with Columbian."

"Nice." Clark sipped it. "So, we're pretty much set. And look! A whole weekend ahead of us."

"I... vote for unpacking the books sometime. But that's about as ambitious as I can get," Lex told him as he lifted his mug in half a salute.

"We can just...sprawl a little." Clark replied looking around and laughed. "I can't believe it's real. Us. A house. Together."

"Nothing blowing up." Lex added that with a grin, and leaned in towards Clark subtly, bumping his hip against Clark's.

Clark turned towards him. "That's got to be a miracle." He flicked a glance down and then back up at Lex.

"Given our respective track records... yeah." Lex's lips tipped up a little, and he looked down, too, at denim touching denim, and then back up. "So. What do you want to do with the rest of today?"

"Well someone seems to want a little friendly interaction. So...I thought some kissing maybe?" Clark suggested.

Lex pulled back slightly, taking a sip of his coffee while he peered at Clark over the edge of the cup. "Just kissing? I was sort of thinking... we could take today to see how far we can go."

Clark hesitated momentarily speechless as his eyes widened. "Wha-... You mean... like... uh..."  
He had evidently lost the power of speech.

"Sex." Lex tossed that out flippantly, but Clark's reaction was going to be important. They'd been working towards it, fiddling with Lex's comfort levels and testing what felt best for both of them with hands and mouths and kisses. There were some unexpected things that bothered Lex, and then there were things he thought would but didn't bother him.

"You feel ready?" Clark asked studying him carefully. "I mean, really ready, because I'm going to take you at your word."

"I know, Clark." Another sip of coffee, and Lex leaned back in to Clark for a moment before he brushed past him to head towards the living room. There was plenty of room to lounge around in there, floor, sofa, chair ... "And I feel ready."

"God, Lex. I..." Clark laughed again. "I don't know what to say! How...I mean, what do you want to do?"

Now Lex laughed, sitting on the floor beside their coffee table. "I'm not sure? Maybe I should have sprung this better, and planned a candle-light dinner with, maybe, Prince playing on the stereo."

"You just wanted to surprise me didn't you?" Clark guessed even as he knelt next to him.

Lex took one last sip of coffee then slid his mug onto a coaster, turning away from Clark a little. "Yes. I've been thinking about it since August, but settled on it last week. You..." It was easy for him to turn back, smiling at Clark as he put a hand on Clark's hip. "It's been great being with you. We work great off of each other, and I trust you more than I trust anyone."

"You know that if you feel at all uncomfortable we'll just stop?" Clark checked once again, eyes bright as he leaned closer.

"Maybe instead of stopping we could... back up and drive around whatever it was?" Lex wheedled, grinning at Clark in the face of those bright eyes.

"Oho, you really do want this don't you?" Clark smiled at him. "But do you want it here? On the carpet in our new living room?"

Lex licked his bottom lip. "Maybe a bed would be better, since..." Since Morgan and Dominic had preferred floors and he just didn't want that trip-up to deal with. "But I thought you didn't want me taking coffee into the bedroom, huh?"

"For this, I'll make an exception." Clark sounded...eager. "May I carry you?"

He couldn't blame Clark, either. Sometimes his mood towards sex swung right back to monk-like, and then without warning, bam, interest came back. Effectively, it made Lex a hell of a tease to Clark, even if it was really some of the expected bumps in the road called progress.

"Yes."

For once it wasn't a blur. Clark carried him at normal pace, savoring the feeling of Lex's weight in his arms. "I feel like I'm carrying you over the threshold or something," he said with a grin as he pushed open their bedroom door and reached the bed itself.

Lex's bed wasn't made for someone as strong as Clark, and Clark's bed hadn't been made for two people, so the compromise had been of course, just getting a new bed … metal, solid, with a new mattress that didn't squeak much yet. Lex had left his coffee cup downstairs, but he'd grabbed Clark's before he was picked up and that was just as good. "Maybe you are."

"Is this our honeymoon?" Clark asked only half flippantly as he leaned over him carefully. "Are you going to drink coffee while I kiss you?"

One more sip just to egg Clark on, and then Lex twisted, one arm flailing to set the mug on the nearest bedside table, beside that book on Journalistic Ethics Gone Wrong that Clark had been reading. "On our honeymoon? No, I'll finish that afterwards," Lex teased as he slid his arms around Clark's neck. "I love you."

"I love you more than anything. When I 'save the world' it's you I'm thinking of..." Clark murmured as he lowered his mouth to brush Lex's lips. "Every time."

"That's kind of kinky..." Lex tipped his head back a little, catching Clark's bottom lip in his teeth to tug gently for a moment before he kissed Clark back.

"I dress up in spandex and save the world while thinking of my boyfriend," Clark murmured. "That has to be a whole new definition of kink right there." He smiled trying not to laugh.

It felt funny, the way a held-back laugh still escaped in muscle movements that Lex could feel because he was right beneath Clark. "I think it is. Good thing I go for kinky superheroes. If you want to laugh Clark, go on. It's not out of place between you and me."

"It was only because I wanted to kiss you more," Clark murmured and set about proving that point with those same soft kisses that Lex thrived on before moving to a more serious kiss to his lips, that showed how reserved he had been until then. His passion reached up through the gentleness and seemed to breathe down into Lex's body.

Getting lost in kisses, the play of tongue and teeth and lips and mouth, stirred up the best kind of heat that Lex knew he could feel. The sort of heat where he wanted to just let go -- except if he let go entirely, he'd lose track of what was going on and he wanted to remember every motion that Clark made.

This was familiar, this kissing and the way Clark undressed him slowly, sucking and playing with pulse points in his throat and flicking over muscle with his tongue. Kissing his temples was new, the gentle mouthing there that seemed to melt tension all over his head, right down to the twisted knot of general stress that centered at the back of his head.

The one that Lex always joked was the bone bump at the back of his head, particularly when he was too swamped in the lab. Lex held loosely onto Clark, sighing his enjoyment before he drifted enough to his senses to start to reciprocate. First of all, he needed to get his hands under Clark's shirt.

Clark seemed all too willing to let him rip off his shirt rather than distract himself from the attention he was paying to Lex's jaw. It was when he raised to move down over Lex's chest that Lex got his chance.

"Need to, uhn, move your arms if you want out of this shirt." Lex had gotten the buttons open, but he still needed a little cooperation.

Clark chose that moment to suck on Lex's nipple and floated himself so he could do that and get out of his shirt at the same time. "Mmm."

Lex gasped, hands latching onto Clark the moment that they wouldn't interfere with anything. "Jesus, it's not fair you can multi-task like that..."

Clark settled back down again and laughed against the lines of Lex's muscles across his abdomen even as a hand tentatively stroked and touched down Lex's still clothed legs.

One leg wanted to twitch and shift outwards so Clark could settle closer, but Lex suppressed the urge for a second while he leaned up to keep his eyes on Clark, abdomen going tight while he stroked fingers over Clark's shoulders. "You're sweet..."

Clark looked up at Lex, his eyes deep vibrant green as he peeked up with a shy smile through dark lashes. No matter how many times Lex complimented him, Clark always seemed like it surprised him. "In taste or in manner?"

It was all the more reason for Lex to compliment him. "You know what I mean, Clark. You're sweet. Nice. Really sexy doing that to my stomach."

"What, this?" Clark deliberately trailed over the muscles and then kissed him in spirals right to his navel. "I'm going lower today...." It was half a statement and half a warning as his hand toyed gently at belt to his jeans.

A shiver of a breath left Lex as he nodded to Clark's words, shifting his legs. "Yeah. And it's going to feel great."

Taking that as permission, Clark undid Lex's pants even as he shifted up to kiss him with another long heated contact on the lips.

Clark timed his distraction well, but Lex was more comfortable with it than maybe Clark had expected, and shifted his hips to try to help Clark undress him. They undressed each other pretty often, just not with *that* intent. Usually it was to get dressed in loose pajamas and fool around in bed before sleeping.

He knew now that if he said stop, Clark would. They'd had occasion to test that at least. Clark seemed to be losing himself in the kiss as much as anything; he'd started to make those soft noises that Lex had learned to mean that Clark was entering a haze of sensation. His finger trailed under the waistband of the jeans peeling them back, his fingertips gentle and arousing as they caressed in feather light touches. He moved into the kiss, making a low gasp into Lex's mouth even as he pulled the trousers down little by little.

He left Lex's underwear in place, which was maddening. "Please, Clark." He lifted his hips up again, willing to make any movement that would get him more sensation and out of his clothes.

"Impatient," Clark replied smiling at him and then shifted downwards. He nuzzled at the material first of all, as if teasing or preparing Lex for the next step. This was as far as they had ever come before, and Clark removed his own pants in the process.

Oral sex was going to be a new addition, to start with and maybe that would be as far as they got. It was still going to be a giant leap forwards, a leap Lex wanted to take. He exhaled in a huff, nodding as Clark trailed heat and moisture against his silk briefs that were already being assailed by heat and moisture from the inside.

It seemed an eternity before Clark finally pulled down the briefs and exposed the smooth skin beneath, and Lex's erection. He huffed his own breath softly over its glistening head and trailed fingers up the inside of Lex's thigh, smiling as he did so.

Lex laughed, spreading his legs as invitingly as he could with Clark down there. "You're going to tease me to death. I know you've seen it before..."

"But I'm taking time to appreciate it in all its glory," Clark flickered his tongue out very nearly touching the head of Lex's cock, but not quite.

It still made Lex suck in a breath. "Glory?"

"Definitely," Clark shift over and giving Lex a look, he flicked his tongue over the head and then kissed the shaft softly.

"Oh god." Lex almost bit his bottom lip, eyes closing tightly as he felt Clark's hot tongue and then warm kiss. Memories didn't do justice to what that, mouth to cock, felt like.

Clark listened to the sound of his heart and reasoned it was not fear but a positive reaction and that emboldened him to do more. A soft warm lick up the underside of the shaft before he settled his lips over the head and swirled his tongue in every sensitive crevice, tasting the rush of heat and the heady musk of liquid that leaked from the tip.

The whole time, Lex squirmed beneath him, prey to Clark's every move and happy to be that way. And since they weren't in an apartment, he didn't have to worry about sounds getting through thin walls -- so Lex let out every quiet sound of enjoyment that he hadn't been able to make before, gasping and groaning low in his chest.

Clark never knew that sound could be so powerful an aphrodisiac, even as he settled to engulf Lex inch by inch, lips and tongue on satin smooth skin. It took a while, especially with those noises playing havoc with his control and concentration, but eventually he gave a strong suck and moved slowly and easily, first up - his tongue swirling and then down again.

Every breath seemed like a happy struggle for Lex. Was he supposed to be inhaling or exhaling? His cock went in Clark's hot mouth, sucked on until he thought that his spine was going to come out the tip.

Clark upped the pace, making use of his body's capabilities to deep throat Lex and tease him until he felt him start to move against him of his own free will. That was the most important thing. When he started that, he could afford to let go, knowing Lex was really comfortable.

It didn't take but a minute for that to happen, because soon all Lex could *think* to do was jerk his hips up against Clark's mouth, hands clutching Clark's shoulders and creeping up towards his hair while he rode those fantastic sensations for all they were worth.

By the time Lex's fingers twined in Clark's hair, he was deep in the throb of sensation, feeling Lex's heartbeat in his cock, that thunder that roared in his hearing sweeping over him with each surge of motion between them. Hot, slick with a compulsion that narrowed everything down to this moment, Clark sucked in long slow pulls as he gently cupped Lex's balls in his warm hands and moved faster.

That last touch was what sent Lex from jerkily thrusting and encouraging to losing control for a few seconds and coming. Not just hot hands on his bare skin, there was a familiar gentleness that he already knew pretty well, a certain Clark-ness to the motion. "Oh, fuck, fuck, yes... Just a little more..."

The surge and heat of Lex's come burst in Clark's mouth and he swallowed it down still sucking the orgasm from his lover until he felt him quiet and go still, then and only then did he release him and lay his head on the sweat damped skin, smiling.

With his ear against Lex's stomach, he could feel the shivers of muscles as Lex slumped boneless on the bed and the tiny twanging aftershocks. "God. Clark..."

"Feel okay?" Clark murmured, shifting to look up at his face, his fine hair tickling like a multitude of strands of wild silk. He had to be sure."

Lex laughed faintly, fingers loosely lifting to weave through Clark's hair. Clark was the best, and just looking at that sweet expression melted him inside. He loved Clark, deeply, and with a satisfaction that he hadn't ever expected to find in his life. There wasn't any 'it'll be perfect, if' with Clark. Everything was perfect. "I feel fantastic."

Clark beamed, his lips curving in a smile against his lovers skin. "Good. We have all weekend you know. We don't have to do everything at once."

That sounded like a fantastic idea as long as Mr. Murphy and his two cronies, Mr. Telephone and Mr. Doorbell didn't get in on the act and cut into their time. "As long as we get a *little* sleep Sunday so we can both show up to work... that sounds great to me," Lex grinned.

"We'll take it gently," Clark promised move up to join him.

Fingers still in Clark's hair, Lex found it easier to hold his lover still for a kiss. Not that Clark *could* be held still against his will, but the illusion was there and so was the willingness. Clark tasted like semen, and he could get used to that taste off of Clark's lips, second hand so to speak. "Why don't we play a little? Where's the lube...?"

"Lube... oh.." Clark blink. "Um. Just wait there a moment."

There was a blur and an absence of at least two minutes before Clark was back where he had been with a new tube of lube.

"I uh, didn't expect this," he confessed.

"... I sort of meant the hand-cream we've been using, but that works, too." Lex couldn't help but split into a wicked grin as he leaned up and reached out for Clark. Clark had rushed out to buy lube? In his Superman or birthday suit?

"What?" Clark leaned forward to kiss him again. "What's so funny?"

"You... went out and bought lube," Lex grinned as he draped his arms over Clark's shoulders. "Because I guess I sort of asked. Did you do it naked?"

"Um. No?" Clark's eyes widened in realization. "Oh. My. God." His entire body flushed with embarrassment.

Lex pulled at Clark, grinning. "What did you do?"

"What I usually do when I'm in a hurry, blur in get the stuff and leave the money on the side in front of the cashier and one of those 'keep the change' notes." Clark looked mortified. "They...might have seen a glimpse of color maybe? They won't know what I bought though will they?"

"Did you go into a place where everything has a transceiver on the sticker?" Now he wanted to laugh, even as he pulled his mortified lover down against him. "You're great."

Clark slapped himself on the forehead. "I need someone with brains to stop me doing this sort of thing!"

"You have brains, and you also have really nice impulses, Clark." Lex took a moment to relieve Clark of the tube, still grinning. "Hey, and you went for a gay man's bareback choice -- KY. Nice."

"I'm glad you approve now that I've just inadvertently brought Superman out as a Big Gay Alien Superhero," Clark said sprawling against him.

"Uhmph." That was good, like having a huge human blanket tossed over him. Lex slouched under Clark a little, relaxed and tempted to just not answer and kiss the side of Clark's face. He pressed one kiss to Clark's cheek then leaned faintly to whisper, "Who doesn't use condoms, no less."

Clark groaned and hid his face in against Lex's neck. "I don't believe it."

"I love you?" Lex offered as a consolation prize, happy to be blanketed like that. Clark would laugh about it, later, but for now the best Lex could do was not laugh too much.

"I can go get some if you want?" Clark replied. "A little more subtly maybe."

"Get some what?" Lex stretched one leg a little; since Clark was going to stay on top of him, Lex was at least going to get comfortable and wrap himself around the other man.

"Condoms. Not that technically we need them as I know that I'm clean, and I can see that you are too, so..." Clark nibbled thoughtfully on Lex's earlobe.

"Took a shower when I got up this morning," Lex confirmed lamely, still grinning to himself. "Yeah. I think we'll be okay. We do our own laundry, so there's no hiding a mess... Mm, keep doing that."

"Your wish is my command," Clark whispered in his ear. "So what were you thinking about lube for?"

"A little finger play." Lex closed his eyes loosely, and gave a faint moan. The whispering sensation was wonderful, the way that Clark's breath curled into his ear and made him squirm.

"Mmm. Sounds good." Clark murmured. "Who gets to go first or were you thinking both at once?"  
He nuzzled behind the ear he was attending to and then sucked at the lobe thoughtfully.

"Both. Either." A huff of breath left Lex's lips. "Just... was thinking about a prelude to actually... you know."

"The love that dare not speak its name?" Clark replied in between kisses in a ponderous tone.

"Yes. Just... test the waters." In case he wasn't *sure* sure, even though Lex was pretty sure he'd reached the right comfort level. It was better to test up to the act than get there and not have things go right. He didn't want to do that to Clark.

Clark smiled at him. "Crack open the tube then, and we'll try it between us," he said kissing him again. "You try it on me first. Because I'm selfish like that." He grinned again.

"We'll have to move," Lex warned him, "Since you're sort of like a human bear rug right now."

"Bare, yes, human no." Clark elected to prove that point by floating up carefully, gloriously naked and languid above Lex. "I'm...an Incubus, come to sate your every desire. Even if they include drinking coffee in the newly decorated bedroom."

"I think I'd much, much rather put this to use." Lex waved the lube a little, sitting up and putting his hands on Clark's chest, half-checking that it was real. He always did that, because it was just so fascinating.

Clark bobbed midair, weightless, but solid and real. "Where would you like me?"

"Right beside me." All it would take was a twist. Lex got up, and pulled the sheets back, since Clark was floating. Then if things got tiring, particularly since they were still fresh off shift, they could pull them up and sleep.

Clark drifted down like a large snowflake. A naked snowflake with a sizeable erection, which made Lex consider that it was just as well every snowflake was different. The world wouldn't be able to cope with two like Clark.

"Better?" Clark asked as he settled into the spot.

Lex finished shoving down the bedding with a foot, and leaned over Clark "Much better. I think a little of this and sleep... sounds like the perfect day."

"I'm all yours," Clark murmured seriously. "To go with the perfect day."

"The perfect guy," Lex agreed as he unscrewed the cap. Then he had to take a moment to puncture the little foil seal on top, but that didn't stop him from multitasking and lying down on top of Clark for a moment.

"Mm, I love it when you do that," Clark commented even as he watched what his lover was doing.

Picking at foil with one fingernail until it came off. "Why?"

"I just like the weight of you on me. I don't feel so...different then I guess," Clark answered truthfully.

A shift, and Lex laid the tube beside them while he propped himself up to look down at Clark. There was a comfortable laziness in the motion, particularly since he was twisted to one side a little, crotch pressing against Clark's hip loosely. "Why would that make you feel less... different?"

"I don't know. Because you trust me enough to be comfortable with me like that? That I don't have to sleep alone." Clark looked at him. "Believe me, I've benefited from our sofa sessions just as much as you have."

That made Lex smile, and he murmured, "And here I thought you were just tolerating it."

"Are you kidding?" Clark asked. "I love it. Sometimes I feel so different. I can't explain it, I'm the last of my kind and that makes me feel so alone sometimes, but never when we are together. I never feel alone with you - I did with others."

So it was good for both of them. That made Lex smile as he kissed the edge of Clark's mouth gently, then shifted down to kiss at his neck. "Good. Then I won't stop making you watch movies with me on the sofa... I like feeling you."

"I like you feeling me too," Clark grinned at him, turning his neck just a little. He loved it when Lex got adventurous; it gave him a thrill to think Lex actually did want him, rather than just working through issues. Lex's issues had an impact on them both.

"You know what you feel like?" Lex half-asked as he kissed Clark's chest again, nuzzling slowly against his collarbone. "You feel like every weird fantasy expectation I ever hoped love would feel like. You... feel like heat, Clark."

"Heat? I'm your own personal hot water bottle?" Clark stretched one arm in a lazy hook above his head, smiling.

"Sometimes." Lex pressed his mouth right beside Clark's nipple, having kissed his way over a smooth plane of muscle to get there.

"With you doing that, it's just as well I have this Superman reputation you know," Clark murmured. "Inhuman control under extreme duress...Mmm."

"Why do you need to control yourself?" Lex lifted his head slightly, looking up at Clark before he licked the edge of Clark's nipple. "I'm not."

"I want it to last," Clark replied. "Besides', it's a habit, controlling my reactions. A bad -- oh, god do that again!"

"A bad habit?" Lex kept looking at Clark, watching Clark's expression when he licked lightly one more time.

"Yeah." He shivered again. "Except right now, you are getting right past all of that."

"Close your eyes." Lex instructed then kissed the nipple before closing his mouth over it to suck.

Clark obeyed, and shivered as the pull reached down into his chest and tugged at nerves to his groin. He never understood how that worked. He was sure there was no direct link anatomically speaking from here to there but, god, when Lex did that, the sensation ghosted into the root of his erection and pulled.

"Mmmm, Lex...I can feel that all the way down..."

"I could when you did, too," Lex confirmed, smiling as he stretched lazily atop Clark and scooted down against him, kissing over to the other nipple.

"How does that.....ahh! ... does that work? Remind me to watch next time I do it to you," Clark replied, his eyes still closed. "What are you doing?"

"I'm planning to kill you with really good sex," Lex chuckled against Clark's skin. "Do you believe that?"

"God, yes," Clark replied. "I want that lube in use seeing as how I went to all that trouble to get it." He peeked with one eye. "You look beautiful there you know that?"

"I don't want to think about what I look like doing this." Lex countered that easily, and shifted down to kiss the line of Clark's nearest rib. "I know I like thinking about how good you look from this point of view..."

Clark smiled and the rib moved as he as he inhaled and began singing, "I'm so pretty, oh so pretty..."  
He only made it that far before he started chuckling with an infectious laughter.

Lex had to stop for a minute, burying his nose against Clark's stomach as he laughed, too. Yeah. That was why he loved Clark -- Clark never forgot a joke, and always knew when a little distraction was needed. "And ga~ay..."

Clark was trying desperately to stop the bubbling laughter from getting out of control. "You have talent," he commented and then grinned. "Your singing is as bad as mine though."

"That's why I don't sing." Lex grinned, then nipped over a muscle on Clark's stomach. He wasn't sure what he was doing, other than crawling and kissing his way down Clark's body.

"Don't bite too hard, you might chip a tooth," Clark warned even as he shifted languidly underneath him in a subtle movement that didn't stop.

"Your skin is as spongy and giving as mine, Clark. Not that I'm going to test how far is too far..." Still, it felt so good to do that, particularly when he kissed down to Clark's navel and squirmed his tongue into the hole.

That elicited a startled gasp, and more trembling," Lex!"

It tickled, Lex guessed. He tried not to wonder for the 900th time just how Clark came to have a belly button. Were Kryptonians born just like humans were? He did the motion again, grinning to himself.

Clark shivered again and after a moment of gasping to himself he managed to get his own back by saying "You realize that... that is no belly button? It's a tiny trapdoor and if you keep doing that my second penis will jump out?" He ruined his attempt at deadpan humor with an uncontrollable twitch of a smile.

It made a great mental image -- like something out of Aliens. Lex pulled back, stretched his jaw for a minute, and then deadpanned back, "Is it green?"

"Green and glowing like a beacon to the mothership, baby!" He felt blissfully happy, teasing Lex like this, breaking up the tension and extending the process.

"Damn. I guess I'd better stop then." Lex peered down at Clark's belly button, and then stuck a finger in to wiggle it around.

Clark started laughing. "Lex! C'mon... that's... stop it!"

"I'm making sure the trap door's still in place..." Lex grinned as he slid downwards again, and pulled his finger back while he gave a hesitant kiss to Clark's hipbone. He could see Clark's hardness if he looked sideways, could smell sex, arousal, and musk. It was definitely time to reach up and grab the lube.

Clark settled down a little, still smiling at him in a way that blended his own arousal with a hint of pride. Not so long ago, Lex doing that would have been impossible. His expression shifted to something more of need and desire at seeing Lex reach for the lube. He had been half considering it himself, but Lex seemed happy exploring, and Clark knew to let him test his own limits, now Lex was aware of them.

They'd come a long way from Lex's flailing that he didn't know what to do, where to stop, and not even trying. That wasn't healthy, and Clark had learned to curb that back in Lex by just holding him. Sometimes Lex over-reacted and tried to 'secure' things by jumping over his own limits. But he hadn't done that in a while.

And what they were doing just then felt really good for Clark … and for Lex.

All it took was a shift, and Lex was face to face with Clark's erection. He blew a stream of air against the tip then wrapped his fingers around the shaft while he squeezed a little lube onto Clark's hip. "You get to be a human palette today..."

It always amused and secretly pleased Clark when Lex referred to him as human, but complex thoughts receded at the grip around his cock, and he had to muster some of his control over his bodily reactions to ensure he didn't come then and there. As it was, he knew that his erection twitched. "Mm, I can cope with that."

"That way..." Lex paused, looking and feeling supremely thoughtful as he closed the cap on the tube and set it aside. "I don't have to keep fiddling with that." A swiping motion, and Lex had some on his right hand fingertips. He encircled Clark's cock, and started to stroke slowly, looking up the length of Clark's body.

Each muscle was smoothly defined and flowed in movement as Clark moved with Lex's strokes, his banter silenced into the soft noises he seemed to make when he was spiraling into the arousal of sex.

Lex leaned on his elbows, smiling and concentrating. It was always thrilling to know that he could make Clark feel that good. It was going to get better, too, once Lex's fingers fell into a rhythm. While he palmed Clark's cock, he swept up another glob of KY onto his left hand's fingers, and used his elbow to goad Clark's legs apart.

He parted them without a moment's hesitation. Clark looked like an angel's wet dream sprawled out in a languid aroused perfection, his eyes unfocused and lips parted as if waiting for a kiss.

It was a shame that logistically Lex couldn't crawl up and *give* him that kiss just yet. "You're gorgeous," Lex whispered, rubbing his thumb over the head of Clark's cock. Then he slipped his two fingers between Clark's legs, trying to avoid getting much lube on the curls that covered his balls.

No quips this time, but Clark did shift upwards to give him better access. "God, Lex. That's...yeah, just like that.."

Clark's voice was deepened to near Superman levels with the huskiness of impending sex.

"Tell me... if you like this," Lex murmured, shifting just one finger to circle Clark's hole, spreading and working slickness into the skin. He couldn't see what he was doing, but that was okay -- he liked Clark's face better anyway.

"Oh god, yes..." Clark breathed and looked at him through half lidded eyes. "I'm...very responsive there."

"It's a good response?" Lex could feel Clark's muscle fluttering as he pressed into the very center with his fingertip.

"Yeah, yeah, not that anyone has...really done this before," Clark replied arching a little into his hand at the flickering touch and then burn of arousing pressure.

"No...?" Lex looked up at Clark, surprise written on his face. Clark knew his way around the male body, there was no question of that. Had known what to do with Lex before Lex knew what to do with the two of them.

"Not, teasing, just...the other, you know. Fucking me." Clark inhaled and exhaled. "What, you thought I'd done everything?"

"Yeah." Lex grinned lopsidedly, his stroking of Clark slowing so that he could take his time slipping that finger in.

"I'm nowhere... near that accomplished." Clark pushed against Lex a little eagerly, trying not to be impatient. "I just have a natural sensitivity."

Lex slid his thumb over the head of Clark's cock again, sliding over wetness. "You are a man of mystery, Clark..."

That brought a gasp and a jerk. "That is...kinda the point," Clark agreed, and then added in a wheedling tone, "Lex, please! Some of us haven't come yet today."

"That would be the point." Lex flicked his eyebrows at Clark, and slipped the second finger in carefully, scissoring as he went, while picking up the stroking pace with his right hand. It was like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time, only a hell of a lot hotter.

It certainly was for Clark, who would have started to drift but for Lex's grip as the feeling inside combining with the stroking to make him thrust himself down against the pressure inside of him, and the fiery sensations it brought him, and then up in an arched thrust threading the grasp of Lex's slick hand. He let the rhythm take him, thrusting faster and faster.

Leaving Lex to almost... watch. He didn't want to impose control or rhythm or anything else on Clark just then, he wanted to know his lover liked it. And feeling Clark move like that, Lex knew that Clark definitely liked it.

It would be hard to imagine he was doing anything else but enjoying himself. Clark didn't seem to contort his expression in the throws of orgasm, which came to him eventually. Instead his face seemed to flush over with the most incredible expression of bliss that completely smoothed out a lot of those lines of worry and concern that had settled there nearly unnoticed. Hot liquid spurted around Lex's hand, sweet and musky, as heady and intoxicating as cream liquor in scent. It was subtle differences like this that underscored the uniqueness of Clark.

Lex couldn't bring himself to mind the differences. If Clark actually *had* a trap door second penis, he wouldn't care, because Clark was his *hero*, his stability.

And sweet. So sweet. Lex almost reluctantly pulled his fingers back, and kissed the top of Clark's thigh before experimentally tasting Clark's semen off of his own fingers.

Clark groaned. "Oh God, Lex... Oh... that was fantastic!" He opened his eyes, and was a little surprised to see Lex tasting his finger. "I thought you hated the taste...the idea of tasting _it_?"

"It smelled like creme soda," Lex offered, and made a faint face at Clark. "Tastes a little like antifreeze and meat. I was curious..."

"Now there's an attractive description," Clark said looking a little mournfully at his depleted erection. "I have freaky sperm, pickled in antifreeze."

Lex shifted up, and grabbed a tissue to clean his hands and Clark's stomach off with. Clark had used his tongue on Lex, but... One day. "Yeah. But it's not so bad."

"It sounds awful," Clark replied. "I'm sorry about that. Really." He smiled a little tentatively, still a little sensitive to being different in any way.

"I 'm only teasing," Lex murmured. He stretched up to lay over Clark, pulling blankets up. "Better than mine."

"But yours was great," Clark replied.

"Tastes musky and salty," Lex half-bemoaned as he settled atop Clark, kissing the edge of his mouth.

"I like musky and salty. It should be a condiment."

Lex grunted as he settled down. "That's disgusting, Clark. I'm not even sure how--"

The phone started to ring.

Clark threw a pillow at it in protest for the interruption and then reached out to catch it before it fell off the bedside unit. There weren't very many people who knew their new number at the house, or that they would be there so that narrowed it down to either their family or work colleagues.

"Luthor-Kent house of DIY, Clark speaking," he said answering the phone.

Lex sighed and pulled a pillow over his head as Clark answered it, still half-sprawled over his lover.

~"Clark! Are you awake?"~

"Well I was thinking about not being awake," Clark replied "But then the phone went and rather threw that plan out the window."

~"Sorry. I didn't interrupt anything, did I? Because I was heading home and the funniest bit of information came up. Superman ducked into a drugstore for lubricant."~

"What, like for a car or something?" Clark was playing the puzzled innocent. "That sort of lubricant? What's the big deal about that?"

~"Like the kind I think you and Luthor would use if I thought you two knew what sex was,"~ Lois smirked at him.

"Sex? I am unfamiliar with this concept," Clark grinned at Lex who was peeking up at him from under his pillow. "Okay, so Superman buys lube. Was it definitely him?"

Lex couldn't help but grin.

~"Blue and red streak that left money on the counter. I think it's hilarious."~

"Could have been the Flash," Clark paused to smirk a little. "If his costume got in with his blue wash."

~"Kent. You're crazy, you know that, right?"~

"Tell her she's interrupting our sex," Lex whispered.

"I'm a little distracted... Lois," Clark smiled down at Lex. "There's some urgent...spackling that needs doing."

He gave it an emphasis that implied spackling was the last thing on his mind.

Lois laughed. ~"Sure you are."~

"Okay, I admit it, sex is going on all over the house. Hell, if you find Superman and the lube we'd like to borrow it please," Clark replied. "As long as it isn't any of that weird flavored stuff."

~"Too much information, Kent, too much information. Have a good, uh, weekend. And keep an eye out for the paper..."~

"I will. And maybe I can get the Man of Steel, which really sounds like a porno series now," Clark mused. "To give us a resounding 'No comment' on his sexuality. I mean, he is an alien, he might be wanting it for...other purposes that we can't even imagine."

~"Maybe he eats it,"~ Lois tossed out as a laugh. ~"Okay. See you Sunday night."~

"Don't offend the guy, he might just forget about saving the world," Clark replied. "See you Sunday Lois." She laughed and hung up at last, while Lex languished and looked over at Clark, waiting for him to get back to bed and close again.

Clark settled in again. "Now, I thought you would be thinking about sleep by now, but you seem wide awake."

"I can sleep," Lex wheedled. "I can be awake. I'm either way right now. The phone rang."

"Depends what you want to do," Clark wrapped himself around Lex. "Lois is successfully distracted with Superman's Lube and I really don't even want to know what sort of headline she's going to come up with for that."

"I'm really sorry about that," Lex laughed as he slipped an arm over Clark's shoulders. "It's still cute."

"As long as it doesn't effect what Superman can do, I don't care," Clark replied sounding a little worried. There was bound to be some bigot out there who would refuse to be rescued or have their life saved by a 'gay' superhero. But he'd worry about that later; it was done now and nothing could take it back.

"Just tell them you eat it." Lex couldn't *not* be happy just then, and he hoped it caught on with Clark soon, as he settled in to lay with Clark.

Clark chuckled. "That has got to be the craziest thing I could say," he replied. "Mm. I'll think of something."

"Don't... over think it." Lex rubbed his cheek on Clark's shoulder as he slipped down, intent now on resting.

"I won't," Clark murmured. "How did our first attempt at sex go do you think?"

"Nicely." Lex kissed Clark's shoulder, smiling. "We... do things like that sort of, anyway. Hand play. But... this was particularly nice."

"I thought so," Clark looked at him through his long thick lashes. "You look happy."

"Because there's this really great guy that loves me." Lex's eyes were closed, and his hands shifted to loosely hold onto Clark like he usually did when he slept. "And my world couldn't be better."

"That's a coincidence, because I'm in exactly the same situation," Clark murmured. "And things are going to get better and better. I have a whole weekend alone with him."

"After a little sleep." That was quietly whispered, and Lex placed one last kiss to Clark's chest as if that would quiet him down.

It was a near first for them in another way. Sleeping naked.

Clark smiled as he fell silent, looking up and through the ceiling to the sky beyond as his thoughts wandered with the sheer contentedness of being in this place at this time with Lex. He could see the stars if he looked hard enough, even through the light of day, but beautiful though they were, they couldn't compare to the simple smooth line of Lex's jaw, and the pale eyelashes, curving just a little over pale skin. Or the softness of his lips and the scar that touched the curve of his mouth, or a thousand and one other things that kept him coming back to look at him over and over again.

The best part of Lex was *in* Lex, though. The Lex that even Clark's eyes wouldn't let him see, the odd faith in Clark, alien or not, the insistence that Clark was human, too. It was funny that Lex was so willing to trust him, had wanted to trust him from almost the start, despite his own hang-ups.

Clark knew from his own experiences how rare and wonderful a thing that really was. That level of trust didn't come easily even among his peers who should by rights have the basis for empathy, and yet in the main, he was different even among the different. Too much of everything, when with Lex, he felt sure he would accept everything he was without rejection.

Lex didn't think of himself as anything remarkable, but Clark thought privately to himself that he knew better, and he wasn't going to let that go. Lex was remarkable. Lex looked at Clark some days at the end of their respective shifts, over 'dinner' or breakfast, like Clark hung the moon, the stars and moved the sun. And was happy with whatever Clark gave him, blooming with the attention and warmth.

Superman might be able to do things because it was right, but the part of him that was Clark and 'human' needed to be needed, needed to be loved for himself, not what he could do, or might be. Lex was unique and Clark knew he loved him. Perhaps he had started loving him when he had first given him that tender caress on the face all those years ago and this love now was the reawakening of something that had lain dormant and sleeping for sometime. It didn't feel that there was a time when he hadn't loved Lex, only a time when he hadn't been aware that he loved him. There was no beginning to this feeling just as he was sure that there would be no end.

He smiled again closing his eyes. Being a Big Gay Alien Superhero had an upside after all and Lex was his everything all rolled into one.

*****

 

Though they would be going 'home' for Christmas to Smallville, Clark and Lex couldn't let the festive season go by without marking it in their own new home. A home that they were both very proud of, that afforded them endless fascination and the fun of making something their own.

To Lex, it was the ultimate manifestation of his need to 'nest' and provide himself with an environment that was comforting, safe and warm with emotion. To Clark it was a sanctuary where he could be himself, be accepted and loved and recharge his batteries before he had to face a world that never seemed to stop needing to be saved.

After they moved in, they had reveled in the place, 'marking their territory' as Clark so delicately put it, by making out, or having some form of intimate encounter practically everywhere.

Including the ceiling.

But the visitors they had invited to their combined house-warming Christmas party were spared that detail. Instead, they were treated to a beautiful warm welcoming house, decorated with tasteful (Lex's contribution) garlands and trimmings, redolent with the scents and flavors of the season from a pile of food that had the table groaning (Clark's contribution) and plenty of wine and festive cheer to wash it down.

Of course, the table could've been groaning from something that had happened there earlier, but that was something else that the guests were going to be spared from hearing.

It wasn't a good sign that Lex was having a cup of coffee to calm himself down before everyone started to arrive. "I hope the neighbors aren't going to complain about parking," Lex said as he peeked through the blinds, looking out onto the street.

"It'll be fine," Clark replied, floating up to affix a mistletoe garland. "Plenty of room out there and I dropped around to a couple of the nearest and took them some of the mince pies and bribed them into seasonal good cheer and willingness to allow cars parked up and down the road."

"Fantastic." Lex took another sip of coffee, grinning to himself as he turned around for one last glance over of the house. Even their tree in the corner looked good and felt right. Some of the kids at the orphanage had made little ornaments for craft projects, and Lex proudly had the ones given to him displayed on the tree. Clark had made a great Santa Claus the other night, and then Superman had done a fly-over with candy, and...

Lex just hadn't been able to stop smiling. Clark floated down and bent over to kiss him. "You're smiling again," he commented, doing the same in response.

"Yeah. A year ago, I couldn't have guessed that we'd be here." Lex lifted his chin to brush a kiss over Clark's cheekbone. "I'm lucky."

"Lucky for me, yeah." Clark agreed. "What time did you tell them to be here?

"Six. We're not supposed to let anyone who has to go in to shift afterwards drink, or so Fred told me," Lex drawled.

Clark stepped over to the non-alcoholic punch. "I'm glad I got Mom's recipe then after all. Try a bit? I'm not sure if it needs more cinnamon..." He ladled a small amount into a glass and handed it over to his lover.

It was cool in the plastic cup in Lex's hand, but that was the only cool thing in the house. He sipped it with the air of a wine taster then twisted to look back at Clark. "No, it's good."

"Good." Clark turned his head in his 'listening' stance. "Chloe and Lois. Gossiping." He raised his eyebrows. "I didn't need to know that about Adam's vital statistics. You know, this is why women are late for everything. Not because they can't get there on time, but because they chat outside."

Lex peered through the blinds one last time, poured the punch into his coffee cup, and then set the cup down. "They're actually right on time..." And he was going to edge towards the door to open it before they even knocked.

"No, they're still talking. They're now onto sordid comments about us." Clark grinned. "You'll be interested to hear that I apparently wouldn't know what to do with you if you danced naked in front of me. Which is a thought to ponder."

Lex was never quite sure what to say to things like that, which was the long-standing comment about him and Clark. They were two loving men living together apparently in complete celibacy just because they didn't talk about what they did. Lex didn't run around the office declaring that Clark Kent has a tight, perfect ass, which he did. They'd only started to have sex a couple of months prior, real pounding insert tab a into slot b sex, and Lex was always on top. It was all a matter of... working up to it.

Not that anyone would've believed that quirky, mellow Lex Luthor got on top of *anyone*. "Great. Now I *want* to tell them about the dining room table," Lex declared as he placed a hand on the doorknob then turned and pulled it open.

Lois and Chloe turned looking a little startled. "Merry Christmas Lex!" Chloe managed to recover her poise. "We come bearing gifts."

"As long as it's not gold, frankincense and myrrh," Clark said moving in behind them. "If only because Chloe always thought that Myrrh was a sick cat."

"Clark!"

Lex grinned at them both as he took a step back to let them in. "Hey, good to see you both. Was traffic bad?"

"Only downtown. Chloe almost missed the turn, but we made it." Lois smiled back, attention falling entirely on Clark -- which Lex preferred. "Hey, you guys have done this place up really nice!"

"Thanks. We've been working on it really hard," Clark replied. "Spending pretty much all our free time working on it. Haven't gotten to the yard yet, but that will probably be best to do in spring. Come on in and have a look around. I think I see some of the others pulling in. Is Perry going to make it?"

"He's going to 'try'." Lois rolled her eyes as she moved in to briefly hug Clark. "But, I don't think he'll show up. He's not much of a party guy, you know that."

"It's a shame. He and Winters could've stood in a corner and--"

"Muttered to each other about parties?" Lex finished for Chloe with a grin. "C'mon, Chloe. Just because a guy's not telling you about his personal life doesn't mean there's nothing going on."

"Yeah, but Winters? I mean... ew." Chloe replied exaggerating her response.

"If you are going to talk like that Chloe, I'm am disowning the family bloodline," Lois replied. "Adam is a bad influence. You've gone all girly."

"I've never been girly." Chloe protested and then saw Clark grin and amended. "Maybe in a passing phase."

"Let me take your coats," Clark said. "Lex can you get that?" he said a fraction of a second before the doorbell went again. "I think they are arriving all at once."

"Murphy's law says..." Lex pulled the door open again after having gotten down another sip of his coffee. "Ash! Whoa, hi, Nigel, Ed, why don't you guys come in."

"It's freezing out here," Ash agreed. "Hey, look... it's not a moldering old heap any more." Ash looked around. "You sure this is the same place as the pictures you showed us? The one with the ceiling falling in and so much damp you could go swimming?"

"The ceiling *wasn't* falling in." Lex back stepped, offering to take coats one-handed. "Uh, but the drywall was. It's been fixed for a while, we just needed the finishing touches."

"Pretty impressive." Ash looked around. "Looks good Lex."

He looked behind him. "Are you two groping each other again?" he said to his workmates. "You did that all the way here!"

"Who drove?" Chloe laughed.

"Me." Ash said ruefully. "I'm working, they're not. "He slapped Ed on the arm. "Did you remember the presents?"

"Oh, shit, I'll be right back." Ed grinned as he moved to bolt out the door, and Nigel started to laugh.

It was just what Lex always liked about the holiday parties that had been held for the department before, the sheer insanity of it.

"I have no idea how they used to manage without me checking up on them," Ash complained good-naturedly. "I smell food. Clark hasn't been cooking Mexican again has he?"

"Clark stole his mom's recipe book and photocopied it at work," Lex grinned, and went about hanging up coats. Pretty soon they'd be tossed on top of other coats rather than hung up. "So we have a mini Christmas dinner in large portions. Also, this is a great time to tell me if we didn't cook anything right, so I don't make a fool of myself in front of his mom like I did at Thanksgiving with the raw squash."

Ash laughed and handed his coat to Clark who reappeared, and glanced around at Ed who had returned with Theresa and Chrissie in tow.

After that, it was a simple progression of people coming in, joining conversation and enjoying themselves until everyone had finally arrived. Everyone. Which surprised Lex since he'd expected at least a few people that he'd invited to not come.

Even Perry managed to turn up eventually, even if he claimed it was because he heard that Martha Kent might be supplying some of the food.

The interesting thing was that the two groups from the Daily Planet and the CSI department after some initial wariness started to warm up to each other. Considering the police department's reaction to reporters this was either a miracle or a testament to the conviviality of the setting and the hosts.

Lex kept everyone served with drinks, and after they had eaten everyone was in a very mellow mood indeed before the outrageous story telling began with each group vying in a good-natured one-upmanship to tell the tallest tales.

"...and then, right, Clark says he will try and get Superman to give a comment or something because he's got some freaky hotline to the guy - which he won't tell me about -" Lois gave a good natured glare at her partner.

"Professional ethics Lois," Clark interrupted from the couch where he was sitting with his arm comfortably around Lex.

"Yeah, well in the meantime there is the Inquirer speculating about who Superman is doing if he is doing anyone because he's like, so obviously a top," Lois continued, flicking her hair back.

Clark was smiling enigmatically and stroking Lex's hand with an amused touch.

"Definitely a top," Chloe agreed, nodding.

Ash smirked. "You two have been thinking about this way too much," he commented as Lois continued.

"And, yeah, there are Gay pride groups all over the world going completely nuts over this. It's like the single biggest thing to happen ever," Lois said. "All because Superman dropped into a Metropolis store and bought KY. The circulation figures went through the roof."

"An added bonus," Perry added from the back of the room.

"Yeah, well it took Kent a good week to get a message through." Lois gave him a look and Clark shrugged.

"Hey, it's not like I live in Gotham and have a Bat signal or something," he excused himself. "And Lex and I were trying to move in."

"You should suggest a beeper or something the next time you see him," Lois replied. "Anyway, he agrees to an interview with me. Well actually, he just turned up on my balcony after a night shift saying that he understood that I wanted to ask him something. And there I was trying to think of ways to broach the alien sex lube story, which even for me was a hell of a thing to just come out with and he's looking at me like he knew what I wanted to say but was enjoying watching me trying to think of a way of putting it."

Clark couldn't suppress a quiet snort of amusement.

"Yeah, laugh it up Kent -- I got the story remember?" Lois pointed out. "So in the end I ask. 'So, KY huh?"

"And he says. "Yes, it tastes nicer than other types." So you can imagine my mind is boggling at this point and all I can say is... really?" Lois cleared her throat. "And Superman is standing there with his arms folded letting me flounder with a faint smile on his face and replies. "Oh yes, I tried the flavored kinds but, they didn't do anything for me. Sometimes I favor the plain stuff, though."

There were some not very well muffled sniggers around the room at that.

"Anyway, army brat or not, I'm starting to choke around about the point where he says, "Why? How do you serve yours?" Lois' eyes were bright with suppressed mirth. "And I realize that he doesn't know what it's *for*. Turns out that Kryptonians think of KY as like some sort of sandwich filler!"

Lex started to snicker. It was hard to keep quiet, but even the story as Lois knew it *was* funny. "Heh, that's sad... The guy's missing out."

"He looked so embarrassed when I had to explain what it was for. Nearly matched his cloak," Lois said. "And so did I by the time I'd finished making the sort of gestures I needed to do to describe how it was used. Instead of it being an interview about him and the scurrilous lube, it became more of the birds and the bees talk."

 

"Which coincidentally also made for a great local news story," Jimmy beamed. "I got a new picture of him, too."

Which Clark had moaned about for maybe an hour afterwards. Lex kept smiling fingers shifting against Clark's. "Poor guy. You kinda feel sorry for him."

"I'm still surprised that our resident vigilante can be quite so naive," Winters groused over his cup of coffee. Lex had made a few of those, because their coffeemaker was quite a conversation piece. What with the handprint on top indented into the plastic.

"I don't think he's naive as much as just unfamiliar with things we take for granted," Lois replied, taking note of the way that Theresa seemed to be loitering around Jimmy.

"Like the joys of sex?" Ash laughed.

"That a whole lot of man going to waste," Chloe commented as she leaned into Adam.

"I agree totally," Adam said in a very dry tone.

"Hey!" Chloe mock punched him.

Lex snickered as he leaned into Clark a little. "Does anyone want more coffee? Food? Maybe less talk about sex? Yes, no?"

"If I eat another thing I might explode," Chrissie replied. "Some of us have to go on shift tonight. We have a task master of a boss."

"Yeah, I know that one," Lois commiserated.

"Lane, do you want me to put Jeri onto nights with you?" Perry called out.

Winters started to chuckle quietly from his staked out place in the lazy boy that was a little off to one side. "Sounds like what my team's used to hearing..."

"Got to run a tight ship," Perry replied. "Otherwise they lose all respect and then they hang around eating donuts and drinking coffee... that's no way to run a newspaper."

"Or they start to take their coffee in the lab with them after they've lost all respect for your authority..."

"I don't drink it around the samples!" Lex defended. "It stays on the other side of the room and it never gets near the fume hood. I'm a good lab techie."

"See?" Winters tipped his head, smiling. "Work with a guy for over a decade, and they get uppity."

"Shocking." Perry replied shaking his head. "If Elvis were still alive this sort of thing would never happen."

"Yeah, we'd be leaving the office in self defense," Clark replied.

"Probably running," Jimmy snickered.

"Do not mock the King," Perry mock growled even as he looked mellow enough to belie his words. He looked around. "Now I know why Clark needed a raise. Good work you've done here."

"It's nicer than either of our apartments were. Takes a lot of work, but it only took a week to train Clark to not hang things off the ceiling fan," Lex joked. He knew it was a setup for the obligatory Lego joke.

"I bet you had the Lego collection moved in before you two did," Ash pointed out with a smirk as he sipped his non-alcoholic punch.

"They probably had to. I bet it was most of Lex's possessions..." Chloe was smiling when she said it; she knew Lex, knew he loved his 'toys'.

"Just half," Lex obliged. "And of course we did. Had to make sure the shelves were right."

"I moved those shelves more times than you would believe," Clark replied. "I keep telling Lex he should do some of his projects as modern art. He creates some amazing things. We've got a Christmas scene up there at the moment."

Ed pulled himself to his feet from the sagging recesses of their too comfortable sofa. "I want to see. We only ever see the little things Lex brings in to work. C'mon, share..."

It wasn't going to take much convincing. Lex grinned, and it only took him a second to tug at Clark's hand. "Sure. I'm pretty proud of this one, since I had help."

"Of the… 'no, no don't put that there you idiot!' variety." Clark got up easily. "Come and take a look."

"I'd love to take a peek and then I better think about heading out," Chrissie replied. "Strict boss you know. Likes us in on time."

"If that's the case, the strict boss might have to slip out before all of you," Fred mused, "Or speed like a demon. Why don't we all just file upstairs? I wouldn't mind taking a peek myself."

"Clark's playing up his lack of Lego skills again," Lex laughed as he led the way up the stairs. "But he's really good. He helped me make a cool ski slope without using all my white blocks up. I think years of playing with his little sister helped."

"I knew that would come in handy for something," Clark replied as they pushed open the door to the large room they had designated the hobby room. They had had a lot of fun making their seasonal themed winter wonderland, with Clark able to speed through some of the hard graft allowing them to spend time making it spectacular. And it was.

The sort of spectacular that made Lex feel proud. There was a ski slope, and a lodge, and a ski lift, and a big wintry looking mansion. All of it was populated with tiny people going about their lives, and Lex had made use of LEDs and Christmas lights to make sure that anything that should've been lit was.

"Ta-da."

It was almost comical the way the hard-bitten group exclaimed over the Lego scene, when only before they had been competing with fantastic stories of their own experiences. It just proved the point that they all needed to have fun at some point.

"This is really good Lex," Theresa exclaimed. "I've been to places that have exhibits not as good as this."

"My kids would love to see this, Lex..." Chrissie said that, and Lex was suddenly aware that most of the team, and Clark's people too were crowding into the hobby room to peek around.

"I should charge admission," Clark replied. "Turn on the power Lex, set the thing running."

"Yeah, hold on, the surge protector is under the table..." Lex pulled away, and slipped sideways as he got to his knees under the table. It only took a minute to hit the switch on, but he could see their faces from his place on the floor. Well, some faces, and a lot of knees.

They were like a bunch of kids as the ski lift started up and a small Lego train rain around the outskirts of the scene. The skating Lego figures on the fake pond was a particular stroke of genius and had them guessing until it was Chloe who realized it must work with electromagnets. Everywhere they looked there was some new feature and they pushed in to take a closer look, crouching down with their glasses in their hands, fascinated.

Eventually, Lex slipped back out, but then he watched them all pretty proudly. "We make a good team, Clark," Lex decided.

Clark grinned as he saw the flash of Jimmy's ever present camera. "Blackmail material. Your boss and mine are playing with Lego figures." He slipped an arm around Lex and looked at him. "We are the best team."

"You can't blackmail Fred," Lex whispered, leaning his hip in against Clark's. "He'd hang it up in his office proudly."

"Klaus playing with the Lego train?" Clark teased a little leaning close, a sudden need to kiss Lex rising irresistibly.

"Oh, well, that might be." There was another flashbulb flash, and Lex grinned to himself as he kissed Clark lightly. "Tonight, you and me."

Clark seized on that light kiss for a tender moment even as they turned to a room full of applause lead by Lois and Chloe.

"Well, finally, Clark," Chloe looked at him. "I was beginning to wonder if you even knew how!"

Lex ducked his head in against Clark's shoulder, laughing quietly. "He knows how, Chloe, believe me!"

"Too much information," Winters declared. "And boys and girls, much as I would love to stay, especially since we just discovered this here -- why didn't you tell us at the start? -- half of the team didn't book holiday, including me, so..."

"They're going to steal the left over food and hope for an easy night," Chloe replied with a smile.  
Lex grinned as he moved out into the hallway. "I hope it helps. Thanks for coming, everyone. It was nice to see you all..."

"We had a great time. You guys have a good time in Smallville," Ash said as they all started filing out.

"Yeah, wish your Mom, Dad and Lara a happy Christmas from me," Chloe said, settling back into Adams side. She looked very comfortable there and it was obvious neither of them would be spending this Christmas alone.

"And don't forget my present to her either," Lois added. "Otherwise she'll never forgive me."

"Can we take the sweet potato casserole with us?" Ed asked as he started down the stairs after Ash with Nigel.

"Sure. We're heading to Smallville tomorrow, so there's no sense in letting food spoil," Lex grinned.

"Can I take some of the Christmas tarts home for the kids?" Chrissie ventured.

Clark grinned. "All of you, help yourselves. We won't need to take anything with us. Mom is three times as bad as I am for cooking too much. You'll be doing us a favor, really. "

Fred paused for a moment, smiling his odd smile at both of them. "Lex. Merry Christmas. And you, too, Kent. I hope you both have a good holiday."

"You, too, sir." There was something in Fred's expression, something that told Lex that he could. Ah. He'd been right. Fred had someone, probably a lady friend he'd been quietly seeing for a while. They'd never know until there were wedding bells, but everyone had a right to privacy.

"I better get these two drunken louts home," Ash said laying an almost possessive hand on Ed and Nigel. There was a slight hint of something odd about the way he said it that piqued Lex's interest. 'Home' seemed to be referring to Ash's home as well as theirs. "Thanks Lex, great party. Better than our usual by a long shot."

Clark was receiving Christmas kisses, friendly ones from Chloe and Lois, giving them both a hug. "You take care Smallville," Lois said. "There's too much news at night to cope with on my own."

"Merry Christmas to you, too, Lois."

Jimmy ducked out with a wave from Theresa, and Chrissie gave Lex a hug on her way out, congratulating them both on their home and happiness. Which just left Perry, since Adam had avoided any sentimentality and probably slipped out to warm up the car.

He seemed a little hesitant, waiting for the others to leave before he turned back to Clark on the doorstep. "Got one last Christmas gift for you Clark," he said in his gruff voice. "Couldn't tell you in front of Lois because I'd have a whole holiday full of it." He cleared his throat in the chill December air. "Your Jenny Brown article has been short listed for the Pulitzer."

Clark's eyes widened and he was rendered speechless just as he was about to say something polite to whatever Perry's parting words were going to be. He hadn't been expecting *that* at all.

Lex was caught off guard, too, and merely smiled and nodded a little vaguely. "That's... that's fantastic."

Perry seemed to understand that it might be ambivalent good news considering the persona connection Lex and Clark had with the case so he didn't press the point. "I'm proud of you Kent. You're a good reporter and a credit to the profession. Have a good Christmas both of you."

"You too, Mr. White." Lex shifted closer to Clark, still unable to quite stop smiling yet. Pulitzer. So moving to nightshift hadn't been a career killer as he'd half feared it might for Clark.

Clark grinned. "Do I get a raise chief?" he called out after him.

Perry didn't even stop but his reply came floating back clear as a bell. "Only if you win, Kent. Only if you win."

Lex watched him retreat into the night and towards his car, the glass storm door closed but the front door open. Just for a minute. "Clark... That's really great."

"It's a bit of a surprise," Clark admitted, exhaling. "Wow." He pulled the door closed. "That's one way to finish the evening."

"No kidding." Lex moved right away to latch onto Clark, hugging him tight. "I'm always proud of you, but... This is fantastic."

"Mm. Just like you," Clark replied smiling back at him. "I won't win, but it's nice to be nominated."

"It *only* means you're one of the best writers there are. C'mon, Clark. It's just like when I was invited to speak at the convention. It's *great*." Lex pulled back a little, wanting to make sure that Clark's face reflected that he knew how good a thing it was.

"Yeah, but you are an acknowledged leading light in your field. I'm barely out of journalistic diapers."

Lex leaned to Clark, laughing quietly. "That's because I'm older than you? You've been recognized, Clark."

"But you're still the only one who really sees me," Clark said, the wonder still as fresh in his voice even as it had been the first time. He tilted his head down to kiss him.

"That's because I love you." Simple, easily stated facts that made Lex's world and his life so much easier to cope with. At the end of the day, there was Clark and a home they'd made. Everything else was icing on the cake. "Why don't we skip cleanup, and head upstairs?"

"Oh, is this the 'you and me, later' thing you murmured in my ear earlier?" Clark smiled like he always did when Lex said that sort of thing. As if the sun was coming up after a long hard night.

"Yeah." Clark was always sweet about it, too, which was endlessly endearing for Lex. "Your tab a to my slot b, maybe."

Clark had to pause and think about that a moment. "Bearing in mind how bad I am at assembling things, are you saying what I think you're saying?"

And he was never pushy. Lex tilted his head a little. "Yeah. We almost did it a couple of weeks ago, so... No big deal." Except it was a huge deal for Lex, something he'd wanted to try *right* for a while, but had kept shying away from.

Clark knew that though and his look said as much. "Lex, you go on upstairs and take a shower or something. I'll clean up down here. I don't want anything stupid like niggling guilt for not cleaning up disturbing us tonight. It won't take long."

"Okay." Maybe that was what Clark planned -- to give Lex time to think it over. Well, he'd thought and he was sure, and he was going to make sure Clark knew.

Lex stopped at the top of the stairs, and pulled his sweater off, then dropped it to the carpet. A few more steps down the hallway to the bathroom, and Lex left his pants on the floor outside of the bathroom door, along with his shoes and his socks. He slipped his underwear off, and dodged towards the bedroom, whipping it into the darkness before he backtracked to take a shower.

It was a complicated set of feelings. Their 'nearly' had made him touch the edges of a panic he hadn't experienced for some time. But he'd felt like that the first time Clark had asked him to trust him and let go with him. Terrifying, but after the shock, an exhilarating rush had flooded through him. All he'd gotten to was the shock, and they hadn't gotten to the rush part before he and Clark had settled on just cuddling for the evening. It was sweet, but sometimes, sometimes he *needed* to be pushed.

Rationally he was convinced that Clark wouldn't do anything to hurt him, but he was still a little nervous about it. He would have been lying if he said that his mind didn't dwell on it as he was taking his shower and toweling off.

But that was what happened when he had to push himself to do something. Lex had taken a quick shower, just hot enough to warm his skin and protect him from the cold for a little while. Clark was probably done already, waiting for him in the bedroom.

From the way the light was on - no, a few candles by the looks of it, he was right about that. Clark was indeed sprawled over their bed, naked and unselfconscious, as the candlelight gilded him with light and shadows even as he opened his eyes to watch Lex enter the room. "Mm, you look good."

"So do you."

Clark looked gorgeous, sprawled out like a feast for Lex. It was hard for Lex to not just stalk over to Clark, but he took his time, walking slowly to his destination.

"Lex on the prowl... mm hmm. Are you serious about what you want tonight?"

"Very serious." He put a hand on the bed beside Clark, leaning over him. "I want you to make love to me."

"I thought that was what I had been doing," Clark replied with a smile, looking up at him. "But I know what you're saying."

It got a crooked smile in return as Lex moved to crouch over Clark on their bed, torn between arousal and being anxious. It didn't make him any less hard. "It's always love. But... You know what I mean."

"I do." His hand brushed over the curve of Lex's cheek in that now familiar tender gesture. "I won't belabor the point, but you know I'll stop, and you know I love you no matter what?"

"Even if we never did anything but kiss." Lex leaned down, hovering on hands and knees, over Clark. "I know. I love you."

"Good, because I'm going to start kissing you now, and you know how I am when I start tasting you," Clark said, gently floating upwards even with Lex over him.

They bumped, and Lex laughed as he shifted, wobbling, to place his hands on Clark's back while they kissed. Floating was a wonderful sensation, even if it separated them from the heat of mattress and sheets.

When Clark wrapped his arms around him and twined his legs, skin to skin, he got a hint of how it felt to let gravity slip its leash. There was Clark's heat radiating like his own personal sun, and then his kisses, tender and bright against his skin as they twisted and tumbled together midair.

It was the most gorgeous feeling Lex had possibly ever felt. Sharing kisses with his lover, Clark wrapped around him and he wrapped around Clark, spinning and twisting in the air together lazily. "Oh, god..."

"I love you," Clark murmured against his throat as Lex arched back letting gravity take his body in a bow. His hands ran up his spine even as he spun so Lex's weight was on him again and he could run warm hands slowly and deliberately down over the curve and swell of Lex's ass.

It mashed their bodies closer, and Lex could only groan as Clark felt over him like that. "God, yes... Clark, that feels good, so good..."

Clark gently lowered them back onto the bed, getting to the point where he needed to pay serious attention to Lex's body without having to keep them both aloft. "You taste of cinnamon -- how much did you put in your espresso?" Clark murmured as he paid special attention to Lex and his skin. He knew all the sensitive spots now ... the dip in Lex's neck that could have him whimpering if he sucked it gently, the spot behind his ear, the nipples, the sensitive muscles. The spot on his inner thigh that could make him come if he nibbled on it softly and then sucked hard...

"E... Oh, f-fuck that's good. Enough cinnamon?" Lex laughed shakily as his fingers rested at the back of Clark's neck. There was something heady about being at Clark's gentle mercies, and not knowing what the next touch would be or where it would settle.

"Christmas flavored Lex," Clark murmured keeping it light and teasing, smoothing muscles with his fingers to ease the tension there. "Just when I thought you couldn't possibly get any better... Mmm."

He could feel Lex's laugh vibrate against his mouth, and the feel of lips against his skin kept Lex in that heady feeling. "No soap taste...?"

"None at all," Clark found himself kissing and licking hungrily as a different kind of hunger woke in him. "All you."

"Umm..." Lex closed his eyes, fingers holding loosely onto the back of Clark's neck. "That's nice. Slow..."

"I'll take it slow for you, until you are dizzy with it," Clark promised, leaning over to brush his lips delicately over the surface of Lex's own and then kissed very lightly over his close eyelid before moving down to give Lex the detailed attention he deserved.

"I'm already d... dizzy with it." And hard and wanting. As long as he kept thinking in the now, kept focused, he'd be able to enjoy it. All he had to do was focus on the facts, things like the way it felt when Clark kissed his way down, the faint stubble.

Clark moved down his body, pausing to suck on his sensitive nipples until he heard Lex gasp and then meandering downwards to tease around Lex's cock and groin. He didn't engulf him with the hot moist warmth of his mouth, just flickered at the skin with his lips and tongue, alighting like a butterfly and then flitting away to a spot nearby.

"You're going to t... tease me to death," Lex sighed, shifting. He spread his legs invitingly, eager for however much touch he could get. He wanted to feel Clark, to be really sure that it was Clark there, physical and in love with him.

"I seem to recall you saying much the same thing to me once or twice Lex," Clark replied, breathing close to Lex's erection and licking it on the underside, from the root to the head.

Lex's hands twitched, clinging onto the back of Clark's neck. "Oh, god! You're, my god, Clark, don't stop."

"Hmm?" Clark made a noise as if he hadn't heard what Lex had asked but he was in the process of mouthing one of his balls at the time.

Lex's fingers rubbed, pressed against Clark's skull as he sighed. It was hard to not look down at Clark, to watch him. Maybe it'd be easier if he watched, because then he could stay sure of what was going on. Surer than sensation told him anyway. "Don't stop."

Clark reached out for the infamous lube, fumbling slightly as he did so. He opted to move back up so he could kiss and reassure, and not get so lost in sensation down there that Lex felt he was being used. That had happened last time. He slipped some of the cool gel onto his fingers and then looked at Lex and kissed him at the same time as cool slick fingers made they way down from Lex's balls and back slight, smoothing gently and slowly.

It let Lex shift, arms coming up to hug onto Clark. "You're so sweet," Lex whispered. Whatever response Clark gave would be a faint distraction to the way those slicked fingers teased back, making his cock twitch and shiver. Heat welled up in his spine, contrast to that cool slick touch.

"Kiss me," Clark murmured again, his dark hair tousled and wild from his voyages around Lex's body. "I love you, I... need you Lex..."

His fingers stroked very gently across the top of Lex's puckered skin, massaging in that tight space rather than pushing. He took his time rubbing the slickness in, just like Lex did with him, and maybe he was twice as careful.

Lex kept watching him, eyes open when they kissed so that he saw flashes of skin and hair up close. "Yeah. I love you, and you... are gonna feel so good."

Clark was watching him, the moment he pressed inwards just a little, testing for reaction. This was the barrier they had yet to over come, that had stopped them every time before.

Slow, stretching touch, but this time he and Clark were eye to eye, and he had Clark's shoulders in his arms. More contact made a difference, and maybe the extra time that had passed, because Lex just nodded, and clenched a little around Clark. "Hi."

Clark smiled a slow, broad smile. "Hi." He kissed Lex's nose and then pushed a little deeper with his finger in his ass even as he played his distraction game. "What a coincidence meeting you here. The most gorgeous man in the place and I end up with you. My luck is holding,"

"So's mine. Prince Charming... uhn, came home with me." Lex shifted his legs a little wider, inviting. "It's okay, Clark. Just... keep talking. I think it's going to be okay."

"Is Prince Charming meant to do that? I thought he was meant to be left standing forlornly at the stroke -" He couldn't resist emphasizing that with an internal stroke of his own, "- of midnight."

Lex wanted to laugh, but it ended up slipping out as more of a moan, because Clark's finger brushed, just brushed in a tease, over his prostate. He hadn't felt that happen in so many years and years that it was like the first time again. "Oh, oh god..."

"Aha, I do believe we have found the mythical prostate," Clark murmured with a delighted smile. "That elusive legend that many have quested for in vain, battling their way through the impenetrable fastness, only to be confounded." He wriggled a second finger in against the first, brushing over the surface. " That's the last time you convince me to do a Warrior Angel Round Table AU..."

"Oh, god, it *is*!" Lex groaned agreement as he hitched his hips up just a fraction. "Easy, easy, that, that feels... so good..." Two fingers were going to take a little to get used to.

Clark kissed him again, long and slow, giving him something else to concentrate on aside from the two fingers inside him, moving ever so gently and carefully. It was a long time before he broke the kiss, feeling Lex's moans against him and smiling. "Feeling good?"

"Yeah." His lips lingered against Clark's, while he petted down Clark's back with shaky fingers. "I love you."

"Did I tell you that Kryptonians mate for life?" Clark said softly. "In that I don't mean that they go around having sex continuously."

"Even... if they didn't, do you think I..." Lex took a breath, concentrating as he shifted his hips again. "That I'd let you go?"

"Do I detect a hint of possessiveness?" Clark asked scissoring his fingers little by little, relaxing the muscles.

It wrung another low moan from Lex's throat. "Yeah. You do. Jesus, that feels good. I... hadn't thought it could."

"It is meant to feel good. I wouldn't be able to stand doing anything that might hurt you," Clark said sincerely. "You're tight though. I'm a little worried about ... well doing more."

Lex let out a huff of air, and pressed up against Clark. "It'll be okay. Trust me."

"How does it feel?" Clark asked murmured softly as he reached for the lube again. He had a solution to Lex easing himself in to this but he wanted to see if he was ready. Personally, he had been ready since Lex had indicated he might be willing to go this far downstairs. It was just that he had a Kryptonian's mental control over bodily functions. After all he would never have chosen spandex as a costume unless he knew he wasn't likely to get an unexpected hard on while rescuing a cat up a tree or something. Now that would produce a headline he never wanted to think about.

"I'm still hard," Lex half-laughed. "It feels... different than I expected. I don't know what I was expecting. But this is better."

"Good. A lot of people say that about me," Clark grinned at him. "Wanting more yet?"

Wanting more yet. He wouldn't have agreed at all if he didn't want more. But Lex merely gave a press of his hips up, hoping to rub his erection against Clark's stomach as proof. "I want *you*."

"That's just as well considering I'm the only one here," Clark replied, shifting off of him a moment and smoothing generous quantities of lube onto his own erection. He then rolled onto his back and pulled at Lex. "It'll be better this way to start with," he said, sincerely hoping it was true.

"Have you done it this way?" Lex asked him. Maybe it was better consensually, because Lex had flashes of memory that made him ache to think about it. Being moved up and down against his will, touched too easily.... but then again, maybe that was the upside.

"Once or twice, yes," Clark replied. "I thought it would be better if you could be in control of your own...uh...penetration." He looked at Lex hopefully. "But we can do it differently if you prefer?"

"Sweet." Lex shifted to crawl over top of Clark, taking a moment to kiss him as he got comfortable with the position. "It's not... actually the least painless way, but I hadn't thought about control."

Clark looked mortified. "I… I didn't realize Lex, I'm sorry. You know I don't exactly feel things the same way other people do! Don't do it if it is going to hurt you...please."

"Shhh." A few kisses pressed against Clark's mouth silenced Clark, but it didn't stop the half-anxious, half eager hammering in Lex's chest. "Aren't I supposed to be the one having a panic attack? It'll be fine. You won't hurt me."

Clark pressed a warm hand to Lex's chest and raised his eyebrows. "When it comes to you Lex, I don't like to take chances. Ever. But if you are sure..."

"I'm sure. It ... it's easier to *be* hurt in that position, but... You won't." And that was enough of an explanation for Clark to know what Lex meant, even while Lex shifted to kneel over Clark's hips. He was almost over-heated with want, hard and slick, but not half as slicked as Clark was.

Clark felt himself nudge gently against him and gave his own gasp, "Lex, oh god, it's been a long time since I've done this. I want it to be good."

"Funny coincidence, Clark -- same here." Lex couldn't help but smile as he reached behind him, stroking Clark's shaft and holding it upright so he could lower himself. "Keep... keep touching me, okay?" Please.

"As if I could do anything else," Clark said, running his hands over Lex's skin. "You are so wonderful to touch. Your skin is so smooth, but firm and I could touch you all day and not get tired of it."

"That's good to know. I--" Had something witty and gentle to say on the tip of his tongue until he pushed down a little. The sensation of being slowly breached was familiar to memories and his body, in a hazy, distant way. He knew that he could take Clark, would take Clark, but there was always a moment of strained, futile wondering if he could actually do it.

Fingers caressed over his face again. "Easy... uhn... no rush. Look at me Lex, look at me love, stay with me." Clark was terrified of losing Lex to his darker memories. It would be all too easy to do.

He felt hazed, still pushing down slowly, but he did look at Clark, taking in a shaky breath. "You're kind of -- Uhf!" He hadn't expected that just yet, so when he did slip down, ass engulfing the head of Clark's cock, Lex went very still and tight around him. "Fuck..."

Clark let out an explosive sort of exhalation. "Let me... Here, support yourself on my arms," he said struggling to keep his voice even.

Lex let go of the base of Clark's cock, and reached forwards to grasp onto Clark as much as he could get away with without Clark popping back out of him. He wasn't sure he wanted to do that *twice*, not when it was a strain to get used to it. He was okay. He'd be okay. Clark took him all the time, and he'd get used to it quick.

This was where Clark's added advantages came in useful. He shouldn't have been able to curl himself up to meet Lex's grip, but he did. He shouldn't have been able to float them at the right sort of angle to take some of the pressure off, the insistent force of gravity relieved even as he kissed Lex, and stroked over his chest trailing fingers over everywhere.

Eventually it just got easier for Lex to breathe. Soothed, comforted, touched, Clark did everything he could to make it easier for Lex, to make anything easier no matter what -- and in this case it was hovering them a few inches off the bed, hovering Lex with him, and holding. "So... so good," Lex panted when he made a faint shift down with his hips, taking in a little more.

"You have no idea how good that feels to me," Clark replied, his own breathing ragged. "It's all I can do to hold still."

"Just wait... until I get all of you in." Lex bit at Clark's bottom lip when he pushed down again. 'It ... it's starting to feel good."

That made it worth it. It may have been a year but Lex had come such a long way in that time, that a few moments of stillness and patience was very little to ask for in comparison. The concentration on Lex's face was startling to watch.

He was focused on every twinge of motion, the way that Clark held loosely onto his back, the way that Clark's stomach muscles didn't shake or shiver to stay curled up like that to steady him while he pushed down. Solid. Clark was solid, and his, the best solid thing he'd ever had in his life. "Mmmn." Another shift, and Lex slowly pushed down until his balls were resting low against Clark's stomach, ass pressed flat against him. "God."

"You're there," Clark was looking up at him, smiling even though there was a faint sheen of moisture on his forehead from the effort of restraining himself. "You did it, you're there."

"I, I think I want to throw some confetti," Lex laughed shakily. He was *there* but he wasn't going to move yet. Clark still felt good, though. Surreal and sweetly solid, and Lex knew he wouldn't pressure him to move when he couldn't just yet.

Clark fumbled over to the side of the bed, sliding them over in a barely noticeable float and grabbed a couple of tissues that were there on the bedside cabinet for messy eventualities. He ripped them into tiny bits and grinning handed the handful of soft white improvised tissue confetti to Lex.

Once it struck him what Clark was doing, Lex started to laugh. That was good, laughing during sex, playing, and having fun. Lex took the handful and flung a little over their heads a bit shy of getting any in the candles Clark had lit. "You... are the greatest guy, Clark. So, let's try moving...?"

Clark smiled. "Let's try." He moved just a little pushing up and back again, barely more than a little but repeating it slowly but surely.

Lex shifted to move in faint counterpoint, head falling back. "Oh. God, that's teasing. It..." He rocked sideways, a squirming motion. "Yeah."

"And that isn't?" Clark managed to reply, trying to concentrate, even as he reached a hand round to steady Lex. The sight of him combined with the tightness was enough to make him quiver with the effort of keeping himself under control.

Lex laughed shakily as he pressed against the hand that lay against his back. Once upon a time, that same sort of touch had sent him into a fit of panic, but now it was a comfort. He was used to Clark, in every way. "I know... Move? It, it's okay."

"Got to be careful," Clark replied. "Gotta be... oh, god Lex." He had to move a little more or he felt like he was going to implode. It had been a long time since he had done this, a very long time.

Eyes flickering closed for a moment, Lex could only nod, rolling his shoulders before he lifted his ass up and then lowered it. He could feel every millimeter of Clark, feel every vein and line, and feel the faint flare of Clark's head rubbing over his prostate he lifted up. No answer left Lex but a low moan.

It was just a simple flexing of his hips, and Lex was reduced to incoherence. He could, when he could concentrate enough to focus, see the nerves firing in burst like constellations inside Lex's body. He could see that when he moved like this, or like that, clusters of brilliance mapped Lex's physical response. It was mesmerizing to watch, to experience, to feel. He could feel Lex half-holding onto him, half arching into him, moving up and down and up and down on Clark's dick, shuddering and losing himself in sensation. They were both masters at losing themselves in sensation, but Lex was keeping his eyes mostly open, mostly focused on Clark as he panted and kept moving counterpoint to every motion Clark made.

There were limits to even Clark's tolerance. He needed more … he needed a lot more. The compulsion to thrust was getting harder to contain and he floated them up. "I... I need to be able to move Lex, I need you under me, with me..."

He was tacitly asking permission, but he was so dazed watching the fireworks of nerve stimulation he was just starting to move anyway.

"Y-yeah, that sounds good..." It took Lex a moment to answer, and when he did it was fuzzy sounding, because he kept moving as best as he could without the leverage of the mattress beneath his knees. "Please, I want to, to feel you better..."

Under ordinary circumstance, the moving from one position to another would have been awkward and disruptive. With Clark's abilities wholeheartedly behind the effort, they lifted up together even as he took a grip on Lex's back and tilted them over, so gravity took them again, all the while moving, and moving with greater freedom.

Lex clung to Clark with his arms and his legs, pulling at him. "Don't stop, Clark, don't stop..."

They settled gently onto the bed, Lex now underneath and the wonders of gravity and friction had never been more welcome. Suddenly the small thrusting movement could become smoother, more purposeful and longer and Clark's expression reflected the relief and wonder he felt at being able to respond to his body's demands.

And while Lex was suddenly on the side of just *taking* Clark's movements, he didn't become passive. Every movement Clark made, every thrust in or long pull back, surged pleasure through him, made him shakily rub and touch and cling and clutch at Clark.

"Yes, yes... oh god, Lex!" Clark would push in and hold the stroke there, kissing Lex in a long passionate kiss and murmur how much he wanted him, before drawing back to repeat the movement.

"Uhn, uhn... Just, just a little more..." Lex concentrated for a moment, squeezed hard around Clark. It was giddy that he could do that, lose himself in sensation, and not panic.

"Ah!" That nearly undid Clark completely. He had to speed up then, spurred on by the play of muscles around him. The pace picked up measurably as he gave in to the needs of them both.

It wasn't like it was a hassle. Clark wanted to be in Lex, and Lex wanted to feel Clark taking him. They both won, and the mattress squeaked with every motion of hip against hip.

'Close, so close, just, just a little -- oh, uhn!" It wasn't a dramatic cry of 'Clark', but it was the noise that Lex made when he spurted against Clark and his stomach, clutching tight around Clark.

That extra resistance was enough to squeeze Clark into an ecstatic rapture as he thrust a last few times and came hard with a bellow that might have been Lex's name or a general exclamation of incoherent delight before silence settled over the room and the candle flickered with light applause.

The room was quiet while Lex tried to catch his breath, dazed by the feelings that he'd just shared with his lover.

That was what it was supposed to feel like, Lex guessed. Even the aftermath was better. His leg muscles ached, but that wasn't anything that couldn't be solved by letting them fall to the mattress to join the rest of him in a boneless sprawl. Clark was heavy and warm on top of him, and the rest of his body was still humming with good sensations.

"Hi."

Clark was half lying on him. "Mm. Hi gorgeous." He looked up at him, kissing him gently in gratitude. "That was incredible."

"Yeah." He kissed him back, and closed his eyes for a moment. "God, you feel good."

"You were even better," Clark replied and then pulled himself out slowly so Lex could relax.

"Nng." Lex's arms clutched around Clark's chest, and he squirmed to settle closely against Clark. "That... was wonderful. A party, a Pulitzer and you. What a night."

"I know what the highlight was for me," Clark replied, kissing at him gently. "You've come a long way Lex."

"You helped. Just by being you..." Just by almost obsessively supporting him, and prodding him forwards and helping him do things.

"I've been working at being me all my life," Clark smiled. "I've gotten pretty good at it."

Lex moved fingers to tickle through the hair at the back of Clark's head. "Mm, yeah. Yeah. You're... just good."

"I try," Clark replied. There was a long contented pause before he spoke again. "I hate to succumb to clichés, but was that good for you? I mean … did you feel uncomfortable at all?"

"God, Clark." Lex started to laugh while he moved his other hand to fish for the blankets. "Why don't you offer me a cigarette, too? It was great. In fact, I'm going to tell all my coworkers about it when I go back."

"Do I get marks out of ten?" Clark grinned at him, helping to pull the covers across.

"Twelve," Lex whispered. "Twelve. I love you."

"Bias on the part of the judges then," Clark replied softly. "We're good together, Lex. In all ways."

Settled slick, sweaty skin-to-skin, Lex could only nod as he turned his head to kiss the side of Clark's face. "Yeah. I'm lucky you did that story."

"I'd like to think we would have found each other no matter what the circumstances Lex," Clark replied seriously. "I know I have felt some sort of connection with you, something deeper."

"Just how *deep*?" Lex's lips twitched as he stretched his toes. "Uhn, I'm tired."

Clark stroked across his skin and smiled. "Deeper than you get when you've had a couple of glasses of vodka for the first time in ten years."

"I'm not made for drinking," Lex chuckled quietly. "But that's deep, Clark. Very deep."

"Somewhere, apparently, I have a destiny," Clark replied, his tone trying to make light of what time had taught him to be a serious subject. "And whatever twists and turns there have been, one thing was clear. I need a reason to stay balanced and focused, to keep me from losing my humanity and allowing power to corrupt me. Will you do that for me Lex?"

"Sure." A little flippant, but... Lex just couldn't believe that Clark *could* lose his humanity. Not Clark. Not the guy that was cuddling up to him just then, and who'd helped him peel sweet potatoes earlier.

"You don't know how much that means to me Lex," Clark said fervently. "Because if the hints I have are anything to go on, there maybe times when I need reining in. And I know I couldn't say no to you."

"I think... you're just scared sometimes. And that's okay. I'm not ever going to let you doubt yourself too much. You're too good a guy to do that." Lex squeezed Clark a little, holding him as much as he was being held himself.

"I try to be," Clark replied. "But I could have easily stepped over the line in this case. That's all I'm saying." He shifted slightly and murmured very softly into Lex's ear. "I need you Lex and I love you."

Best words Lex had ever heard. He rubbed against Clark faintly, smiling sleepily to himself. "I need you, too. We're good for each other... so good. Can we sleep now?"

 

"Yeah, we've got a long day of Lara entertaining tomorrow," Clark said softly, watching Lex close his eyes, even as he kept murmuring. "And there will be snow outside over the fields and drifts over the fences when we go out walking. Lara will throw snowballs at the both of us and we'll catch Mom and Dad kissing under the mistletoe at least three times when they think we are somewhere else. You can steal all the dessert like you did last year, and then we can sneak down at night and sit around the tree, eating any of the pie that's left over..."

"Mm." Lex's eyes were closed, and he was smiling like Clark was painting the perfect picture for him. "Best Christmas ever."

 

"You wait until I stuff snow down your neck and tell me that. Or when you hear Dad singing Christmas Carols to the cows. Or when Mom sends you out before breakfast to get those shit covered eggs from the chickens," Clark smiled. "Then you'll change your mind."

"Nah. It'll never change my mind." Lex murmured that quietly, and then smiled. "Nothing is going to change my mind..."

Clark believed that, and that was the most precious thing anyone could give him, with all his abilities and powers he needed the fundamental stability of someone trusting him, caring for him in a way he couldn't express for all his way with words. "I know. Thank you love," he murmured again. "For that I will help you write a sequel to Morning Star Falling."

They joked a lot, they played a lot but that was part of the feelings between them, an expression of the freedom between them. "You'd better," Lex mumbled. "You *can* write..." Lex was sleepily petting Clark. It had been an exciting day for them, and the next day would be just as exciting. Not saving the world exciting, just... existing exciting.

Clark smiled. "Go to sleep," he said as he watched the candles burn down with warm light. In some ways what they had achieved this night had been more monumental than any of his exploits. It wasn't a cure, but it was proof of healing, and in Lex's own words a miracle that he would never have believed could happen.

It had taken time, but all good things took time and patience to nurture. It had been a lot of work, but... but Clark's reward was worth more than just the sex they'd had. With care and comfort, he'd helped make *both* of their lives better. He'd always thought that he'd be alone until the day he died. He'd always thought that he was unrecognizable for who he really was; it still amazed him that Lex was the only one who had recognized him. Ever. He knew his persona's as Clark Kent the reporter and Superman were strong but had always possessed the ability to look beyond the surface and try and see who the other person really was. That was there had never been any doubt about him accepting Lex. He had been able to see, right from the start, the strength of character, intelligence and will that had enabled him to fix his life in a rough fashion from the shattered pieces abuse had left to him.

Lex was a good person. And Clark felt proud that he'd been able to help Lex put himself together even more. It hadn't been easy, but...

There they were, asleep in bed in their shared fixed up home.

Clark stroked Lex's face once last time before sleep claimed him, in that same gesture that had been their first contact when he had barely set foot on the planet, back to the moment when it seemed to secure Lex's trust within the first days of meeting him and those terrible dark days when the world seemed to be crumbling around Lex. Even with the other man asleep, the candles guttering and fading into darkness, he could see the faint curve of a smile touch Lex's lips.

The next day, the whole Kent family would be gathering at the Farm - his mom, his dad, his little sister, himself, and Lex. An unconventional family, sure, but it was *his* and Lex's.

All was right in their world.


End file.
